Black Moon Blues
by Haitus80
Summary: What if there was a way to prevent the events that brought the group to the prison? What if there was a way to save every single person they have lost along the way? What if second chances at the end of the world actually existed? Will they be strong enough to save the others? This story has given me many sleepless nights but I think it has been worth it.
1. Hot Water

**Hi you guys! Okay, this has been months in the making. Not a lot of you even knew about it. I believe you will all enjoy it a LOT but I have to tell you that it is a little weird for the first few chapters. There is a reason it is so stick with it and you'll understand soon why certain things are happening. This, by far, is the coolest idea I have ever had, in my own opinion. I have to thank ldyjaydin and Peta2 for your guidance and catching my never ending flow of flaws. Axelrocks, as always, has been a monumental force in the making of this story. No her, no story. So thank you, love!**

**Please wait until after chapter five to cry OOC. *cringe* I hate that term. You'll have a much better feel for where this is going! Let me know what you think! Hope everyone is having a great Sunday and thank you for giving this a shot!**

**HOT WATER**

Daryl was finally calming down. He had been frantic since he got back to the prison. He had searched the prison, inside and out and there was no sign of Merle anywhere. Merle had gotten into a fight with a couple of the guys that came in from Woodbury which resulted in a screaming match with Glen and then Rick. Many people had watched him storm off but no one was able to remember seeing him again after that. Daryl had been on a hunting trip and that was two days ago.

"He wouldn't have been stupid enough to go off alone. Even if he was pissed." He said in a hushed tone as they leaned against the sun warmed bricks of the prison.

Carol gazed off towards the fences and bit the inside of her lip. "Maybe not stupid enough." She shrugged and then met his worried gaze with a steady one of her own. "But he was certainly pissed off enough."

He scowled and shook his head. "I shoulda took him with me. I knew somethin' like this would happen." His voice was low.

"He's a grown man, Daryl." She said as she pushed herself off the wall and headed towards the door that led inside. The weather was getting colder but she had to escape the crowded cell block for a few minutes. More often than not over the month since the new group had arrived Daryl escaped with her. He knew why the Woodbury group was there but he didn't have to like the fact that they were. She wasn't fond of them herself.

It was early evening and the common room was bustling with people. People chatting, people laughing, children running and playing. It grated on her nerves and she hated herself for feeling that way. This was civilization. She should have embraced the new survivors but what she found herself doing instead was avoiding them. She didn't join the other group of women, whom even Maggie and Beth were growing fond of.

Even Daryl was more talkative than she was anymore. It made no sense. But then again, it was the end of the world. Things didn't have to make sense.

She smiled at Beth as she hurried by, she knew that Daryl was on her heels. This was the worst time of day. Before the newcomers it had always been her favorite. A time where her and her family could finally start to unwind. Reflect and be thankful that they had survived another day. Now it was usually filled with noise. So much noise.

She climbed up the stairs, avoiding stepping on people as she passed. Straight to her cell, their cell, is where she was heading. The only small space of calm in this new chaotic world they found themselves in. Rick had made the announcement that they were all going to be bunking together until they could fix the breach and expand their living space. She had been less than thrilled at the prospect of being one of the few people without a bunk mate already. She was going to be forced to share a cell with a complete stranger.

Tyreese had approached her as she stood outside her cell, sheepish smile on his face. Carol's heart had sank. She liked the man. Out of all of the new arrivals he was most definitely her favorite, but she didn't want to share a cell with him. But she had plastered a kind smile on her face and hoped it was convincing. She wouldn't tell him no.

It turned out she hadn't had too. Daryl had stormed up the stairs then, crossbow slung over his shoulder and duffel bag in hand. He hadn't even stopped to ask her. He simply stormed past her and threw his things up on the top bunk.

"Seems like I'm too late in asking." Tyreese noted dryly.

Carol had crossed her arms over her chest and looked over her shoulder. He was standing in the middle of the room, scowl in place. "Seems that way. Sorry, Tyreese." She said as she turned back and gave him a weak smile.

He sighed. "Looks like I'm stuck sharing with Sasha. You wouldn't believe it by looking at her but she snores like a grown man." He shook his head. "I'll see ya around."

Carol had laughed and watched him walk away, his head hung.

Now they had been bunking together for more than a month and he was a great cell mate. He didn't feel the need to fill the silence with idle chat. He never had been that way. They had a good routine. They made it work. They both felt like outsiders in their own group now with all the others here. They were the only two that weren't taking it to good. Well, Carl and Merle were none too happy either but that was a given.

He lowered himself onto the bottom bunk and leaned his back against the cold bricks as she lit an oil lamp. The bars on the door were now covered with a thick blanket brought from Woodbury. People probably wondered about them. No one being able to really figure her and Daryl out. She couldn't have cared less what those people thought. The blanket wasn't to keep people from looking in on them. It was to keep them from having to look out. When Daryl had first hung it up he had glanced back at her and she had simply nodded, neither needing to say anything to know the reasoning behind the new need for privacy.

"If he don't turn up in the next day or so I'm gonna have to go find him." His voice was so low she barely heard him.

She leaned against the wall and then stared off into space for a few long seconds. She hated when he left. He hunted more often than not anymore. She didn't think it was the need for food as much as it was his need to get away. She had no such luxuries. And while he was away the cell seemed colder, her future more bleak.

"What's that look for?" He asked quietly.

She shrugged and then sat down on the edge of the bunk. He nudged her with his foot until she looked back at him. "I don't know." She sighed and then scooted herself back until she was sitting next to him, their shoulders barely brushing.

"You look like somebody pissed in your bunk." He muttered.

She looked over at the smirk she knew would be there. "How long do you think it'll take to find him?"

He shrugged and then pulled her pillow onto his lap. "Hard tellin'."

"Rough estimate?" She asked as she looked back at the wall.

"A few weeks. A month. Two days. That rough enough for ya?"

"You're a jackass." She muttered as she pulled the pillow from his lap to hers.

The corner of his mouth turned up but it dropped quickly. He let his head fall back against the bricks. "I can't really say how long. It's Merle. Who the hell knows where he could have went."

"I can help you search the tunnels again. Glen and Maggie brought all that liquor back from their last run. Maybe he's just down there blowing off steam." She offered hopefully.

His eyes flicked up to meet hers once more before skittering away again. "I don't want ya in them fuckin' tombs. You know that." He said in a gruff voice.

She hid the smile that threatened just at the corners of her mouth. She had never had a friend like him before. Not one that understood her like he did. Surely not one had ever cared the way he did. "You go into the tombs all the time." She noted dryly, looking away.

"I didn't almost die down there either," he muttered as he stole the pillow back from her.

"I almost died outside a few times too. You plan on keeping me from going out there?" She raised her eyebrows and ignored his scowl.

They both looked up as the door opened and one of the new women poked her head inside. She was about to say something but she was rudely interrupted.

"You people ever fuckin' heard of knockin'?" Daryl snapped.

The woman's dark eyes widened at his tone and the angry set of his jaw. "I'm sorry... I just came to see if Carol could help with dinner. We're still getting used to everything so we could use the help."

Carol smiled at her and nodded. "I'll be right down."

The woman gave her a nod herself and hurried off after throwing a nervous apology back over her shoulder. Daryl shook his head. "Now ya get to be the one to cook for all of'em? Shoulda told her to go to hell."

"You should be nicer to that one. She's pretty and I'm pretty sure she has a bit of a crush on you." She smiled but her stomach twisted a little at the thought of him being with another woman. Not that he was _with _her. She just didn't want to be alone. They had a good thing going. It worked for them.

He rolled his eyes. "Ain't interested." He grumbled.

She patted his knee as she stood up. Contact like that used to send him scurrying away. She was glad he'd gotten over that. "You wanna come help. Those girls would swoon if they knew that you knew your way around a kitchen. That kind of thing is sexy." She grinned as she watched the blood rush up his neck and into his face. Even the tips of his ears were crimson. He hated it when she teased him but she couldn't help it.

His narrowed eyes widened and he sat up. "That reminds me." He stood up and pulled his bag down from the top bunk. He dug around through it for a few seconds. "Found a few houses we hadn't hit yet while I was huntin'. Figured I'd see what was left. Kinda thought of you when I saw this." He tossed something at her.

She caught it before it hit the floor. She smirked and then her eyes came up and met his. "Really?" She held up a bottle of Jergens lotion. "Why in the world would this make you think of me?" She cocked an eyebrow at him.

He shrugged as he settled back down on the bunk but she could see it in his eyes that he was trying hard to hide a laugh. "Between your sandpaper elbows and your dry ass feet, I crawl outta bed a wounded man every mornin'. Thought that might help." He looked smug.

She pursed her lips together and looked up at the ceiling. "This says a lot about you, Daryl. It really does." She sighed.

His smug look vanished, eyes narrowing once more. "What are you talkin' about?"

"Well, I mention the word sexy and instantly you remember that you got _me_ a gift. I'm flattered."

He snorted and then threw the pillow at her. "Go do somethin' useful."

She set the lotion down on the sink and left the cell, smiling to herself until she remembered that he was leaving soon to go look for Merle. She rolled her eyes at the thought of the oldest Dixon. He was a real pain in the ass compared to Daryl.

She was glad he had picked up the lotion though. Things like that were a real treat around here. Maggie had a lot that she would have let her borrow but it was all sexy smelling stuff and she was afraid that if she used it that he would think she was trying to turn him on and then that would surely scare him out of her bed. And she liked him right where he was.

It had started when they had been bunking for a few days. The temperature outside dropped drastically and the prison felt like a freezer. All of them had lost so much weight that it was harder to keep themselves warm with no meat on their bones. She didn't think the cold bothered Daryl very much but her teeth had been chattering and her shivering had probably shook the whole bunk.

She had tried to clamp her teeth together when she heard him shift on the bunk above her. But it was too late. He was awake. He had hopped down, landing silently on bare feet and pulled his own blanket down and threw over her. Before she could protest he slid in next to her. He kept his back to her the whole night but that was fine by her. The man was like a furnace. After that, even when the cold front had broken and the temperature had become bearable again, he slept with her.

Neither one of them mentioned it. She knew it wasn't because of any sort of romantic pull on his part. They both felt like outsiders in their own home now. She figured her closeness was just as much a comfort to him as his was to her. It was a simple thing.

On the nights that he was out she slept very little. The small bunk felt incredibly large to her. But he always came back.

"Hey."

She jumped and turned around, not expecting him to be behind her. "What are you doing?" She smiled.

He just shrugged and took a step closer. "When you're done with all that meet me in the showers. Try to make it quick."

She blinked and then blinked again. Usually this would be the cause for plenty of teasing on her part but she wasn't able to think of anything off the top of her head. Why on earth would he want her to meet him there? All she was able to do was nod like an idiot. He walked with her until they got to the area where they did most of the cooking and then he left her, his back pack in hand. She watched him walk away and then jumped when she heard Maggie's voice in her ear.

"He's up to somethin'."

Carol looked at her friend with a small smile. "What makes you say that?"

Maggie watched until he was around the corner and she knew he was out of ear shot before her excited eyes met Carol's. "Before he left out the other day I went lookin' for Glen and I found the two of them talkin' all hushed like. When I came around they stopped like they had been in the middle of a conversation and I still haven't been able to get Glen to tell me what they were talkin' about."

"Honey, that doesn't mean that he's up to something. Maybe Glen is up to something?" Carol countered with a smirk.

Maggie threw her arm around Carol's shoulder. "You're crazy. Glen tells me everything. If he's not tellin' then it's cause it ain't his to tell."

Carol just shook her head and got to work on preparing the food. She remembered he had told her to make it quick. She was really confused by the way he was acting. Usually she knew what he was thinking before he even thought it. They had become that close. Her mind wondered back to the farm, the way it usually did. So much had changed for her then. She had lost her reason for living and then found herself. How strange for things to happen that way. She wished Sophia could know her now. She was sure that the girl would have been proud of the woman Carol had become. It was just heartbreaking to know that had she been this strong then, her daughter would still be here now. But she hadn't been strong. She had stood there while Rick ran after her girl and that was the end.

Maggie bumped her with her shoulder and then smiled. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" She asked softly.

Carol looked down at her hands and then back up. "I was just thinkin' about how different I am now." She felt the corners of her mouth turn up slightly.

"You're gonna see her again, ya know?" The smile on Maggie's face turned sad. "When you're ready."

Carol frowned. How had the girl known she had really been thinking about Sophia? Usually the only person that knew when her daughter was on her mind was Daryl. "How did you know I was thinking about her?"

Maggie shrugged and her gaze became very intense. "It's almost time." She said in a strange tone.

Carol actually shook her head. "Maggie, are you feeling okay? Almost time for what?"

Maggie smiled and inclined her head towards the doorway Daryl had disappeared through earlier. "Go. I'll help finish up here."

Carol washed her hands, still looking at the girl worriedly. She really hoped that none of them were coming down with something. With so many people here now and very little medicine and proper nourishment the flu could easily turn into the black plague. She shook off the thought, refusing to add to the pile of things waiting for her to worry about as soon as Daryl left out to look for Merle. Just thinking about it made her stomach ache. They were such a strange pair, him and her.

She made her way silently down the dark corridor, knife in hand. When she saw the light from the shower room she picked up her pace. He was sitting cross legged on the floor looking rather sad. When he heard her coming he looked up and smiled. He stood up, grabbing his bag and then waited for her to approach him. When she was standing just a foot away he smirked and reached into his bag and then shoved something into her hand. She frowned and held it up.

The smile that spread across her face was nearly painful. "Body wash?" She flipped the cap open and smelled it, rolling her eyes, knowing how melodramatic she looked but didn't care. It was her absolute favorite kind but she had no idea how he had known that. They had been using the plain white bars of soap they had found here at the prison. It dried out her skin and left her smelling like some sort of athletes foot medication.

He didn't say anything but he handed his bag over to her.

"More?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

He nodded and watched her curiously. He almost looked embarrassed. Typical Daryl.

She felt like a kid on Christmas. Everything she had been grumbling about needing was in his bag. She thought he had been ignoring her while she was complaining about all the Woodbury people using up all of their supplies. "Daryl, you didn't find all this in a house. You went on a run without telling the rest of us." She beamed up at him.

The corner of his mouth turned up and he shrugged. "Got tired of your bitchin'."

Without thinking she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. She expected him to freeze up or push her away. There were rules to their strange friendship and she was breaking one of them. Any sort of shows of affection were initiated by him, and they didn't involve full body contact or trapping him in any way. He had come a long way but this was probably going to get her in a lot of trouble. He'd probably sleep in his own bunk tonight. But she was happy. He'd made her happy. She couldn't help herself.

She was about to pull away and face his wrath with a brave face when she felt one strong arm snake around her waist and then another. She froze, her breath nearly catching in her throat. When the arms tightened and she felt his forehead drop to her shoulder she thought she would pass out. If she had known she could get this kind of reaction out of him she would have started hugging him ages ago.

She was finally the one to loosen her grip on him but she suddenly felt extremely dizzy so she kept her hands on his broad shoulders. When it passed she looked up into his worried blue gaze. "You alright?" He asked.

She nodded. It passed as quickly as it had come. "Thank you. You didn't have to do all this." She said softly, noting that his hands were lingering at her waist.

He nodded. "Yes I did. I got sick of smellin' ya all night long. This was mostly for me. And use the fuckin' razors, would ya? You feel like a cactus."

She grinned. "Daryl Dixon, are you rubbing up on my legs while I'm asleep?"

He snorted and pushed her away. "Shut up." He grumbled as she reached down and picked up the bag. Before she could walk into the shower room he stopped her. "One more thing. And don't give me any shit about it either."

"What?" She asked, frowning.

He held up a key and she gasped. "No! I have _hot_ water?"

He shook his head. "_We_ have hot water. As soon as your ass is in one of them stalls I'm gonna be right behind ya."

She raised one eyebrow. She wasn't going to be able to let that one go and when he saw her face he knew what he had done.

"Stop it. Get in the damn shower before I go give all your shit to the Woodbury women."

She sighed and walked towards the doorway. "Would you be as eager to get behind them in the shower?" She hurried to a stall before he could throw something at her. She was able to hear him grumbling but couldn't make out any of his words.

She almost moaned when she got under the hot spray. They didn't use the water heaters often. Rick always said that it used up too much fuel in the generators. She had a sneaking suspicion that Daryl did a bit of sneaking himself to get the hot water.

She didn't rush. She heard him turn on his own shower many stalls over. The steam was thick and the whole shower room smelled amazing. She was eager to obey and she even took her time with the shaving.

"Jesus, I shoulda got somethin' odorless. Those vultures are gonna smell ya and then rob ya blind as soon as you leave the cell."

"Then I'll sniff them out and you can help me kick their asses." She smiled as she finally turned off the water but the smile fell when she blinked and she didn't see the shower room anymore. Instead she saw a light and behind the light was a white drop tile ceiling. She blinked again and was staring through the steam at the dripping shower head once more.

She snatched the towel down that she had hung over the wall of the shower stall and dried off quickly. She dressed in fresh new cotton pajamas that may as well have been made of raw silk considering how comfortable they were compared to the clothes she normally had to sleep in. She was starting to get worried. She was feeling very off. She had been worried that Maggie may be coming down with something but she was starting to think it was her that she needed to worry about.


	2. Vertigo

**I'm glad you all liked that first chapter. This one gets a little more weird, but trust me! There is a point to the weirdness. There is a reason behind the things he is doing. I hope you like this one just as much! Thanks for reading and reviewing and following and such! Much love!**

**Vertigo**

Daryl appeared in the open doorway of the shower stall, his own towel thrown over his shoulders. His _bare_ shoulders. She had never seen him without a shirt on since the farm when she had brought him food and even then he had covered himself up quickly. Not even while they slept did he take his shirt off and as she stared at the hard lines of his neck and chest she started to wish that he would cover himself back up. The last thing she needed to do was have more of him for her imagination to work with. That would only lead to trouble.

Her eyes finally made their way up to his face. His hair was still wet and was hanging in damp strands over his forehead. She had the urge to push the damn strands out of his eyes but she stilled her hands. Him and his unspoken rules. She almost rolled her eyes.

"You alright?" He asked again, a frown forming between his eyebrows.

"Where's your shirt?" She blurted out without thinking.

He shrugged. "In my bag."

She nodded and then offered him an unsure smile. "You ready?"

He turned and went to the bag sitting on the long counter that held rows of sinks. He grabbed a shirt and slipped it on. She kept her eyes on her sock clad feet until she heard his voice once more.

"You comin'?" He called over his shoulder.

She didn't say anything but she did hurry after him.

"You know all them fuckers are gonna be talkin'. I didn't even think of that." He grumbled.

She couldn't help but smile at that. "Daryl, we share a cell. A private cell. That's where we spend a lot of our time. People have probably been talking about us for a while now."

He snorted. "I know. Even Rick can't quit askin' questions."

"What kind of questions?" She asked as they rounded the corner. Sure enough every pair of eyes still left in the room fell on them.

"Just questions. Your as nosy as he is." He mumbled as they reached the stairs.

"And what's your answer to these mysterious questions?" She teased.

He opened the door and motioned her in. He shut it loudly behind her. "I tell him the same thing I tell Merle, Tyreese, Glenn and the rest of'em. It ain't none of their goddamn business."

She snatched the bottle of lotion off the side of the sink and sat down on the bunk, yanking her socks off. "Well, all that's gonna do is make them all wonder." She glanced at him as he sat down at the head of the bunk, his back to the bricks once more.

He looked over and met her eyes briefly before looking away. "Let'em wonder then. That bunch would just think the truth was a lot weirder than if I just let'em guess."

"How is the truth weirder than if you just let them wonder?" She asked curiously.

"Cause then I'd be getting' asked why not and then all that would do is lead to even more questions. That's how."

She smiled as she started rubbing the lotion into her skin.

She suddenly felt like the room tilted a bit and then she was hit by a wave of vertigo. She squeezed her eyes shut. She wasn't paying any attention to him so she nearly cried out in shock when he grabbed her around the ankle and yanked her foot towards him. She stared on in shock as he grabbed the bottle, poured a good amount into the palm of his hand and then started rubbing it into the soles of her feet.

"Ya tell one person I did this and I swear I'll kick your ass all over this prison and then tell'em all ya made it up." he growled without looking at her.

She was stunned into silence for a few long seconds, the intense wave of dizziness all but forgotten, but then she gathered her wits and smirked. "I wont tell a soul." She groaned when his rough thumbs started working slow circles into the arch of her foot and then her aching heel. "Where in the _hell_ did you learn how to do that? And why haven't you been doing that since the moment we met?"

She actually got a chuckle out of him. "Yeah, that woulda went over real well with Ol' Ed."

She snorted. "God, I wish he was here."

His thumbs stopped working and he looked at her sharply.

"So I could shoot his kneecaps out." She smiled.

He shook his head and moved on to her other foot. She leaned back on her elbows and tried to keep her eyes from rolling into the back of her head. She hadn't felt anything this good in... well, she hadn't ever felt anything this good before. His hands were rough and strong and he seemed to really know his way around a foot. Maybe he was one of those weird foot fetish guys. If so he could do whatever he wanted to her feet. This thought had her giggling like an idiot, causing him to look at her again.

"What?" he asked.

"Do feet turn you on, Daryl?" She asked as the giggle turned into an obnoxious laugh that she had to stifle behind her hand.

"That's it. I'm done." He growled as he shoved her feet off his lap.

She raised up and snatched the bottle from between his legs. "You want me to do you now?"

"Jesus, Carol." His face once again took on the color of a ripe tomato.

"You're feet, Daryl." She said with another laugh.

"Nope." He said as he reached over and killed the small flame on the oil lamp, throwing their cell into complete darkness. She felt him shifting around and then his legs were stretched out next to her.

She rubbed her toes together and grinned in the dark. "Please?" She was on her knees at the end of the bunk.

He laughed again. "You're gonna beg me to let ya touch my feet?"

"It feels good." She laughed. "And you just had a shower so I know they wont stink."

"My feet never stink." He countered.

She weighed her options. If she went ahead and did it anyway he would either like it or he would kick her in the head. She doubted he would kick her in the head. Despite the fact that she teased him mercilessly and generally gave him a hard time about everything, he still liked her pretty well. So she silently filled her palm, rubbed her hands together until it was warm and then quickly grabbed the foot closest to her. It was sad that she had to force him to let her make him feel good. After everything he had given her tonight this was the only thing she could give back. And it was his fault for putting the idea in her head.

"What the hell, Caro... Oh fuck."

She laughed again as she copied what he had done to her. Now he was the one groaning. She doubted much felt good to him now days. They spent most of their days in different states of uncomfortableness. Feeling anything remotely pleasurable was a rarity in this world. It made her feel good. He did a whole lot, not just for her but for everyone. He kept them fed. He worked just as hard as Rick did to keep them safe.

"You were right." He muttered. "We shoulda been doin' this shit from the start. Fuck Ed. I'd have kicked his ass if he didn't like it. Shoulda kicked his ass anyway."

"You didn't even know me, Daryl." She said quietly as she smiled in the dark. She must have hit a tender spot that had him groaning even louder until it was suddenly muffled by what she assumed to be the pillow. "If you don't keep it down then they'll all be talking even more." Her hands went still.

He must have pulled the pillow off of his face because his voice was loud and clear in the cell. Probably the whole prison. "Son of a bitch, I don't care. Don't stop now."

This got another laugh out of her and he must have put the pillow back over his face because he was muffled once again. She chuckled as she continued on, to his obvious delight. She didn't stop until her hands were actually aching.

The cell was getting colder and she rubbed her hands up and down her arms to warm them before she shuffled around on the bed until she had the blankets situated. He was still lying on his back, which wasn't something either of them could really do with two in the bed. She laid down, bringing the blankets up to her chin, her back to him. When she closed her eyes she saw a sudden and intense flash of light so she opened them quickly. It was so strange. She was seeing white spots dance around her vision as though she had actually been looking into a light. She was starting to get scared. She wasn't feeling quite herself.

She expected him to roll over until his back was pressed against her own but he surprised her once more. He was full of them tonight.

He rolled over but it wasn't his back pressed against hers. It was his chest. She didn't say a word, fearing if she did she would scare him away. It made her feel good that he was being so much more open than he ever had before. They had woken up like this before but then he had nearly landed on his ass on the floor when he jerked as far away from her he could and then stormed off grumbling about needing to get his ass back on the top bunk.

"Are you going to leave in the morning?" She whispered after she was sure he wasn't going to bolt out of the cell.

"No. I'll give him another day." His warm breath hit the back of her neck causing her to shiver involuntarily. "Ya cold?" He asked and then she felt his arm snake around her waist.

"A little." She lied. She was actually extremely warm. She could feel the heat radiating off of her face. Why was he choosing now to start acting so open towards her? She was pretty sure that he could hear her heart pounding much too fast in the small space. Then he would realize that she was a complete moron and then he would definitely get back up to the top bunk.

"Ya want me to move?"

Without thinking she covered the hand that was pressed against her stomach with her own and then shook her head. "No." She said a little too quickly.

"Then ya might wanna think about relaxin'." He whispered.

She realized her mistake then. It felt like every muscle in her body was tensed. She forced herself to calm down. They had been sleeping in the same bed for a while now. There was no reason to start reacting this way to him now. She kept her hand over his and then she let herself relax against him. It felt good. Better than good. She didn't think she remembered ever feeling as safe as she did with his arm around her like that. She still wasn't sure she would ever be able to actually go to sleep but she eventually felt her eyelids grow heavy as the steady rhythm of his heart beat strong and even against her back.

_She was in a room that she didn't recognize. Darkness pressed against the windows. She was lying in a strange bed in a strange room. It was eerily silent. There wasn't even the white noise associated with every silence. This was simply stone cold stillness. That stillness was broken by the one thing that could shatter her heart. _

_"Mom."_

_Sophia. _

_Carol blinked and then suddenly her daughter's face was there. Looking over hers, looking down worriedly. Her eyes were red rimmed and afraid. _

_"I need you." The little girl whispered._

_This was different than other dreams that she had had of her daughter. The desperation in her little girl's voice had Carol feeling like she would surely die from the pain it caused her. In all of her other dreams Sophia had seemed happy, wherever she was. She always smiled and waved. It hurt to see her, knowing that she'd never hold her again but it didn't hurt like this did. This was pain so intense she thought she would surely be sick. _

_She wanted to reach up and touch her daughter's face. Never before had she been so close to her in these dreams. She could see each individual freckle that was on her face. She could see the tears glistening in her eyes. _

_She wanted to wake up. Before she had always hated waking up and missing out on seeing Sophia but the look on the girl's face and the sound of her voice were killing her. Ripping her heart to shreds. She forced her eyes closed and willed herself to wake up. _

She yanked herself away from the dream with a sob. She shuddered as the pain came to the waking world with her. She put her hand over her mouth but it was too late. She had woken him up.

"Carol?" He whispered, his voice full of sleep and concern. He pulled her shoulder until she was on her back, his face was looming over hers somewhere in the pitch blackness of the cell.

Her hand was still over her mouth but the small broken sounds weren't easily stifled. Her stomach ached. Her chest ached. Every beat of her pounding heart sent more pain racing through her bloodstream. She had never dreamed of the girl like that.

"Hey..." She felt his fingers tug the hand away from her mouth. "Sophia?"

She nodded, knowing her voice would be a mess if she tried to speak. She'd woken up hurting before after dreaming of Sophia but never like this. She was sorry that she had woken him up but she was eternally grateful he was there. His fingers were brushing tears away before she could do it herself. She was so much stronger than she had been and she was almost embarrassed at him witnessing her breaking down like this.

"I'm sorry." He whispered from somewhere above her. He was close, she knew that much and it was enough to make her feel a little bit better, less alone in her anguish although her heart was still hammering painfully behind her rib cage and her breathing had her chest heaving with every agonizing intake of air into her lungs. He cupped the side of her face in one large hand, his thumb wiping away tears that were instantly replaced by fresh ones.

He eased himself back down next to her but kept his hand on her face for a few more minutes. She was starting to calm down. Her breathing was returning to normal and the tears stopped flowing. Her chest still ached, her stomach hurt. She felt dizzy disoriented again and she wished she knew what was happening to her. She was starting to feel detached, like she was walking that line between sleep and consciousness. He must have felt her calming down because he moved his hand away. She missed it instantly. That hand let her know that she wasn't alone. It was like an anchor, keeping her there.

She was about to roll back over to face the wall, to ignore the pain and try to let him sleep but a strong hand came out of the darkness and tugged her arm until she was facing him. This was really breaking the rules. God he must have felt so sorry for her. He let go of her arm after he guided it around his neck and then, unbelievably, he had his arm around her waist again and pulled her a little closer.

She wasn't sure what to do with her hands, since their bodies were pressed together like they were, so she kept her arm around his neck, since that was a safe place. He was the one that had put it there.

"Do ya wanna talk about it?" He whispered after she settled herself against him once more.

She shook her head. "I want to forget it." She moved her hand up until her fingers were gliding under his hair. Why not? He was the one breaking all of his own unspoken rules.

"Ya can't forget it." He whispered as his fingers traced hesitantly over her lower back.

She nodded. "I know."

"This was suppose to be a good night." He sighed, muddling her already muddled thoughts even more.

"It was a good night." She whispered and then dared thread her fingers through his hair. It felt like silk. She felt the pain in her chest lesson, her aching stomach relaxed a little. His fingers were tracing a figure eight over her shirt, less hesitant than before. "You came back. I'm clean. And you even let me touch your feet. That's a real honor, Daryl. Don't sell yourself short."

His quiet laugh washed over her face like a healing salve. "I really am that bad, ain't I? Cause I didn't let ya do a damn thing. You forced yourself on me. I was a victim here."

He was probably blushing. She could almost feel the heat coming off of his face. He was making himself uncomfortable to make her feel better and she didn't think she had ever loved him more than she loved him right now. "You liked it."

"You sound like a rapist. I'm sure they say shit like that too to make themselves feel better."

She couldn't believe he said that. "You're ridiculous." She muttered but she was smiling. It felt good to smile. The image of Sophia was still vivid in her mind, unlike any dream she had ever had, but as long as he was talking she could at least focus on that instead of the pain. And as long as he kept touching her she figured that it wouldn't take long for her to feel whole again. She was almost embarrassed at how much she depended on him.

"No I ain't." He whispered.

"Thank you." She said quietly, hoping he would know how much she meant it.

He didn't say anything right away but his fingers fumbled awkwardly at the hem of her shirt, seeming unsure until he took a deep breath and then she felt just the very tips of his rough fingers on the skin of her lower back, barely touching her but sending goosebumps in their wake.

"What for?" He breathed. She could have sworn that his face was closer to hers but she was preoccupied with the feel of his fingers actually brushing against her bare flesh.

"For everything. For just being you. For being here." She swallowed hard, feeling almost silly for the words that tumbled out of her mouth but knowing that they needed to be said. "I think sometimes you're the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind. I'm not sure if you understand how much you mean to me. Especially now. Now that it seems like its just you and me."

She waited for him to scoff at her clumsy words but he never did. Instead he placed his forehead against hers and then moved his hand further up the back of her shirt.

"You and me, huh?"

She raked her nails against his scalp and nodded. There was something about the way he said those words that sent a slow burn through her veins.

"Carol..." His voice was barely there as his hand rode up her back, hitching up her shirt in the front and exposing more skin. She was surprised to feel that his flesh met hers instead of the worn material of his own shirt.

"Yeah?" She brought her hand down out of his hair and followed the line of his neck down to his shoulders. They were bare.

"They say it's almost time." He breathed. "But I can't let go..."

She frowned in the dark. It was the same thing that Maggie had said earlier. Why did those words fill her with a cold dread?

"I don't underst..." He didn't let her finish his sentence.

"Will you go with me? Day after tomorrow. We can leave out at dawn." He said quickly, pressing his hand flat against her back, pressing her even closer to him.

"What?" He had never asked her to go with him before. Not on runs or hunting trips. Never. He always wanted her behind the walls of the prison. She didn't understand.

He blew out a frustrated breath, like she was slow or something and he hated taking the time to explain things to her. Like she should already understand what he meant.

"Just you and me. You've done let go of everybody else." He said eagerly. "Leave with me."

"Daryl, what do you mean I've already let go of everyone else?" She asked as she let her hand slide down his shoulder to the top of his arm.

"Will you leave with me?" He asked without answering her question.

She wasn't sure what was happening. Today was turning into something that felt more like a dream than reality. Was he asking her to leave the prison and not come back? Could she do that? She thought about Rick, Carl, Maggie and Beth. Hershel and Glenn. Judith. Could she leave them? Was that even what he was asking?

His hand stopped moving over her skin and flattened against her spine again as his knee pushed itself between her legs. He pulled her against him until there was barely enough room to even breath anymore.

"Please..." He said the word so low that she wouldn't have ever known if he had really said it if she hadn't felt the soft exhale that followed it against her lips.

"We aren't coming back, are we?" She knew how sad she sounded but the thought of him leaving without her or staying only because she wouldn't leave herself was something that she couldn't even fathom. The words that she had said to him earlier were still true. It was just the two of them. Everyone else in her group had moved on. They were making a life for themselves that was separate from the two of them. She still loved them. They were still her family. But he was more. He had always been more.

He shook his head against hers. "We ain't comin' back."

She felt her eyes fill with tears once more.

"Everything'll be alright." he whispered again but she heard pain in his own voice. Raw and real and then she felt his lips on hers, hesitant and unsure, just like the hand on her back had been.

She was stunned into stillness for a few seconds but then she parted her lips and kissed him back. His lips moved over hers desperately slow, his tongue sliding against hers lazily. When he finally broke away from her he barely moved his head away at all.

"You're sure?" he asked, his hand once more moving across her back.

"I'm sure." She nodded right before he kissed her briefly one more time.

"Go to sleep Carol." he whispered.

She nodded and then wrapped her arm around his neck. She fell asleep much faster than she thought she would. She still felt safe, despite the dream he had been unable to keep at bay. There wasn't anywhere else she wanted to be. As long as she was with him she would be okay. He would make it okay.


	3. Stay

**Hello people! I'm so glad you all seem to like this so much! It's been a long time coming. Anyway, things are still weird in this chapter and there's a mild smut warning. It's a crucial bit though. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Hope you're having a great weekend! =)**

**Stay**

Carol woke up to a heavy arm wrapped around her and a warm body pressed against the front of hers. She was disoriented at first. Surely last night had been some sort of strange dream. Some very realistic, very unbelievable dream. Had he really kissed her like that? That wasn't Daryl Dixon. Daryl was still skittish when it came to casual touching most of the time. But who else would now be tangled up with her in their bed?

She opened her eyes slowly, sure that she was still dreaming. She had been almost positive that when she opened her eyes then she would be staring at the brick wall, her back pressed against the solid line of his own, her arms empty, as usual. But he was there, his face much less intimidating in sleep than it ever looked while he was awake. The leg that was shoved between her own shifted, his thigh pressing against parts of her that she had nearly forgotten existed.

The blanket that hung over the bars of their cell was thick, letting in very little of the light that shone through the windows throughout the cell block. But there was enough light for her to see his eyes open. She braced herself for whatever was about to come. In the cruel light of day surely he would be completely humiliated by what had transpired between them the night before. He would mask that humiliation with anger and he would direct that anger towards her, no doubt, in an attempt to banish it from his thoughts. She wracked her brain to try to think of a way for him to turn this around on her but she couldn't. He had initiated everything. But surely he wouldn't look at it that way today.

She was waiting for him to yank himself away from her and then bolt out of the cell like he had done the morning he woke up and was facing her in the bed. But he didn't do any of that. As a matter of fact she was sure the arm around her tightened slightly. He wasn't looking her in the eye but he rarely did. She was too afraid to move. Afraid of his anger, sure, but mostly afraid that the spell had been shattered and rejection was about to make an early morning appearance.

Things wouldn't be the same after this. Their friendship would take a fatal blow after what had happened in the dark. He would lock himself away once more. He would push her out and he wouldn't let her back in. But then suddenly she remembered something else. Something she was amazed she had let slip her mind. It was what they had talked about before he had kissed her. He wanted to leave and he wanted her to go with him.

"The look on your face right now tells me that if I wasn't holdin' ya down you'd be runnin' for the door." He whispered.

She let out the breath that she just realized she had been holding. He didn't sound angry or embarrassed. He didn't sound like he was about to bolt for the door. He sounded like he was a little worried that she was about to do the very same thing.

She shook her head quickly, still unable to believe that this wasn't something her mind was making up. Some cruel joke just for her. "There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be." She flinched, not meaning to say the thought out loud but when the corner of his mouth pulled up slightly she relaxed once more.

This was really happening. She had never even let herself think about anything like this. Knowing that it would never happen. She figured that he had given her everything he possibly could have. His trust. His loyalty. His friendship. Those were the things that kept her heart beating. She never ever thought of more than that. That was nothing but a let down waiting to happen. She didn't think there was another part of him to give. Never thought that maybe he would look at someone like her and think that it was where he belonged.

"You ain't changed your mind?" He asked as his hand slid down to her thigh.

She shook her head. He had to have felt her heart as it hammered hard and fast against his chest. "What about your brother?" She whispered.

"I'll find him." He said as he moved his leg in further, forcing her thigh to move high up on his hip.

He wasn't running. He wasn't yelling. He wasn't even grumbling. He was acting the exact same way he had acted the night before. But just like it had the night before it didn't feel quite real. Everything seemed to have a dreamy haze around it. "Do the others know?" She felt the traitorous tears filling her eyes and wondered vaguely if they would ever dry up completely. The thought of leaving them, leaving her family, was weighing heavily on her mind but she knew who she could and couldn't live without. This would be hard but she was used to that. That was their life now. Just a long series of hardships.

"Glenn knows." He said simply. "I wasn't sure if you were ready. Thought ya might be but I didn't wanna say anything to anybody else in case I was wrong."

"You weren't sure if I would go with you?" She asked, still not sure if she really wanted to leave everyone but absolutely sure that she would do what she had too to be with him. Even before he had ever kissed her. Hell, she would have left with him and Merle over a month ago if he had just came and asked her.

He shifted again, this time rolling her over and pinning her to the bed with half his body. "I wasn't sure if it was time. It's time now." He whispered. His face hovered just a few inches above hers and his lips brushed her face where the tears had left a wet trail before they found hers. His kiss was salty. Sad. This kiss tasted like grief.

She kept her arms around his neck, still hoping that she wouldn't wake up and discover that all of this was some sort of twisted dream. She had wanted this for a long long time and had stubbornly ignored it. Pretended that what they had was enough. But it never would have been. She would have always, deep down, wanted more of him. More than she thought he was ever capable of giving.

"I'm gonna tell'em today. If you're sure." He said when he finally broke the kiss.

She nodded and took a deep breath, savoring the smell of him.

"I gotta go. Rick still needs help. I'll do as much as I can today."

"Are you sure? Are you sure this is what _you_ want? You want to leave?"

He shook his head slowly, eyes roaming down instead of meeting hers. "No. But it's what we have to do. You'll understand."

She was starting to think that she wouldn't understand anything anymore. She felt so torn. She felt like her thoughts were scattered and blowing away. Things seemed to be missing and she couldn't put her finger on it. He seemed to be different and she couldn't understand why. But she didn't voice any of these things. She simply nodded and kissed him quickly before he pulled away and sat up.

She studied the smooth lines of his muscled back greedily but there was something not quite right about what she was seeing. He was perfect, of course. But she had that nagging suspicion that things were missing again.

He stood up, shoving his arms quickly through his shirt and buttoning it hurriedly. He offered her one last smile before grabbing his crossbow and opening the door.

Carol sat straight up and squinted into the light that came in from the hallway. And that was exactly what she was looking at. An actual hallway. Through the open wooden door she could see a painting of some sort of pink flowers hung on a beige colored wall. And then it was gone. The cell door closed with an audible clang. A familiar sound. She let her head fall back down onto the pillows and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

What was happening to her? She felt her head but she didn't feel feverish. She didn't feel sick to her stomach and nothing hurt on her body. Whatever was wrong it was obvious that it was only her mind. Was she going crazy?

She opened her eyes once more and pushed the blankets off of her. The cell was dark once again, the blanket filtering the light. She lit the oil lamp and sat for a while on the edge of the bed, fighting down the panic that seemed to envelop every cell in her body. She couldn't be going crazy. If she was going to go crazy then she would have done it over a year ago after losing Sophia. It had to be something else. It had to be.

She pulled her own bag from under the bunk and dressed quickly. She hesitated by the door. What would she see when she opened it? Another place? Different people? She jumped when someone on the other side banged lightly against the bars.

She opened the door and blew out a relieved breath when she saw Rick standing on the other side. He gave her a sad smile. Daryl must have told him already.

"Morning, Rick." She smiled back and knew that hers was just as sad as his was.

He didn't say anything else. He just pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back, feeling like she would burst into tears at any moment. Despite their rocky start Rick was her brother now. She loved him and it left such an ache inside her to think of leaving him. His hand went to the side of her head and he kissed her cheek.

"I don't even know how to begin to thank you for everything you've done, Carol." He whispered.

"You've kept us alive, Rick. I'm gonna miss you so much." She held back a sob and was grateful that he didn't let her go yet. There was always so little time to tell one another how they felt about each other. They needed this now. She couldn't walk out of this prison until they all knew what they meant to her.

After a long time he dropped his arms and stepped away from her. "If somethin' ever happens, you have to promise you'll come back to us, alright?"

She nodded quickly and dabbed at her eyes. "I promise."

He nodded, kissed the hand that he had taken and then walked away, shoulders hunched, leaving her standing there watching after him. How was she going to do this? It felt like every one of them had a hook embedded in her heart. By tomorrow morning she was sure that it would be torn to shreds.

She made her way to the common room and watched all the people bustling around. Her and Daryl must have slept in but it didn't bother her today. She was ready to help. Ready to socialize now that she knew that she wouldn't have to deal with any of these Woodbury people again. She scanned the room for Daryl but he wasn't there. This was why she knew that she had to go with him. She would miss her group so much but she didn't think she could survive without him. She didn't care how stupid that made her sound. It was the truth.

Maggie came through the doorway with Glenn in tow. Carol smiled at them but the smile dried up on her face when Maggie's face fell and then crumpled as she rushed towards her. The girl nearly knocked her down. Carol wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged her. Maggie and her had never really been as close as Carol and Beth had gotten but she understood why Maggie was so upset. There were so few of them left. The originals. It was even worse for Rick and Glenn. The few that had been together from the very start of it.

"I'm gonna miss you so much." Maggie cried into her shoulder. "But I'm happy for you. You deserve this."

Carol was so confused at her words but really too choked up to respond to them. What did she mean? That she was happy for her that Daryl finally made his feelings clear or happy that she was able to leave the prison? Was her misery in this place that obvious?

"I'm gonna miss you too, honey." She said as she stroked Maggie's hair.

Eventually Maggie let her go and they all got to work on surviving another day. Sometimes she would get so caught up in her work that the sounds of everyone around her became like white noise in the background. That happened often but suddenly the white noise was gone once again and was replaced by that dead silence just like in the dream she had the night before. It was like she had gone deaf.

"Mom?"

She spun around at the sound of Sophia's voice. The girl was standing there, clutching a doll to her chest. She looked just like she had looked in the dream. Unbelievably real. Vivid.

"I need you." Sophia said miserably.

Carol closed her eyes tightly. Someone caught her hand and suddenly the noise of the prison was filling her ears bringing her back around. Her eyes snapped open and she looked up into Daryl's worried face.

"You with me?" He asked.

She nodded, knowing how she must look. "I just saw..."

"I know. Just stay with me, okay?" He said quietly.

"Daryl, you shouldn't..." Maggie appeared behind him but Daryl spun around.

"Don't. Just mind your own fuckin' business, you understand?"

Maggie's lips formed a hard line but she walked away with the slightest shake of her head, not sticking around to say another word to him.

He faced her again. "You're with me, right?"

She felt the frown on her face but she nodded.

He dropped her hand and was gone out the door once more. He was helping Rick. She was suppose to be getting her own chores done. Instead she was standing there like a moron. She shook her head, her heart hurting from the vision of Sophia. She was starting to think that it must be the prison. She needed to get out of the prison. It had to be the problem. It was driving her crazy. She would keep her mind on her work and when that was done she would just think about what her and Daryl would do out there while they looked for Merle.

She had just put Judith down for a nap when she walked out of Rick's cell and ran smack into Tyreese. He chuckled as he steadied her.

"Just the lady I was lookin' for." He smiled.

"What can I do for you?" She asked with a small smile of her own. She had just been trying to think of something else she could dive into to occupy her mind.

"I heard that you were leaving in the morning. I was thinking that, since I have to do a perimeter check, that maybe you'd like to go along? It wont take long and I don't know if I'll get my chance to talk to you again before you leave us."

She thought about it for a few seconds and then nodded. It would do her some good to get outside for a bit and as long as she had him to talk to then she wouldn't be left with her own thoughts to torment her.

She stopped off to grab a sweater from her cell and then they were on their way outside. Tyreese was usually chatty and Carol enjoyed talking to him but Daryl seemed to dislike the man for some reason. Every time she was near him Daryl would usually glare at them until Carol would cut the conversation short and then scurry off to their cell where he would usually give her the silent treatment for a while.

It never occurred to her that maybe he was jealous. The thought almost made her laugh out loud now.

"So, this is really what you want? To go back out there?" Tyreese asked her as they made their way towards the fence.

She looked out past the fences at the walkers that stumbled about. Not looking away from them she nodded. "It's time." She said quietly, not even finding it strange that she worded it that way.

He sighed. "Well, I hope you find everything you're looking for out there." He said quietly as they made their rounds.

"I hope so too." She said as she pulled the sweater tighter around her slender frame.

"Does your man have anywhere specific in mind?" He asked after a few minutes of dreaded silence.

"I don't really know." She said, almost smiling at the term he used.

After those few loaded questions Tyreese decided to go another route for conversation and, blessedly, decided to talk Carol's ear off about everything from football to apple pie recipes. She was grateful for his chatter and even spent more time with him after his perimeter check was over. She didn't see Daryl again until dinner was ready and the throngs of people lined up to get their meals.

She was already seated with Tyreese and his sister so Daryl grabbed a plate and sat down with her. He wasn't giving the big man the evil eye. He actually nodded towards him after taking his seat next to her.

"Did you get everything done that Rick needed help with?" She asked after the silence went on for longer than she was comfortable with. She was dreading trying to sleep later.

He nodded but said nothing until he was done. "You told everybody bye yet?" He asked without looking at her.

She shook her head, not looking forward to saying goodbye to the rest of them. But she knew she would have too. It didn't take them long to start showing up either. Beth was first, coming right to the table with Judith in her arms. She passed Judith off to Tyreese and then flung herself into Carol's arms just as Maggie had earlier. She couldn't hold it back this time. She cried as she held the sobbing girl.

After Beth calmed herself she took the baby back and disappeared into her cell. But Carol's emotional goodbyes did not end there. The last one to finally approach her was Carl. He was probably the hardest one. She had watched him age right before her eyes. He was no longer anything like that boy that had been Sophia's friend at the quarry.

"Tell her hi for me, okay?" he whispered into her ear when he finally hugged her.

"Who?" She asked as she wiped tears away.

"Sophia." He backed up a few feet and then he was gone. He walked past Rick without a word, which was typical. Carol watched him go. She felt to tired to try to understand why he had said that to her. Daryl made an angry sound in the back of his throat as he glared at Carl's back.

A lot of people had cleared out and she was beyond ready to get back to their cell where everything was relatively normal. Or had been up until last night. She made her way up the steps slowly since her vision wasn't so great with the tears still flooding her eyes. Daryl was behind her. She felt his hand on her back and she almost turned to ask what he was doing. She wasn't used to him being like this. Not just with her either. It had taken him months to not flinch from any kind of contact and now he was touching _her_. She kept going without looking at him.

"You gonna be alright?" He asked when he shut the cell door behind him.

She wiped at her eyes once more and nodded before looking up at him.

He wasn't there. She was looking at a dimly lit peach colored wall. A single chair sat against it. She blinked and then Daryl was right there, inches away, his hands on each side of her face and his eyes intense. "You can't go yet." He breathed and before she could say anything at all his lips were on hers, soft but insistent. She wanted to ask him what he was talking about and she wanted to understand why all these weird things were happening to her.

She was about to pull away, even though she didn't want too. She could have kissed him for as long as she lived and not minded but she was starting to feel dizzy. She was light headed and felt completely disoriented until she felt his hands slip under the back of her shirt. As soon as his hands touched her skin everything seemed to settle. She relaxed against the front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back hungrily. He would make it better. He would make sure she was fine. He would take care of her.

His mouth left hers, lips trailing down to her neck, hands sliding over her ribcage. "Daryl, I think there's something wrong with me." She whispered and then she moved her head to the side, giving him more access.

His hands gripped her sides almost painfully. "You're gonna be fine. Don't think about it. Think about me." He whispered into her ear right before he claimed her lips once more.

She did as he said. She thought about the way his mouth moved on hers. She thought about how long she had secretly wondered how they would feel against hers. She thought about the way his rough hands were gliding over the skin of her back. His muscles were tense under her hands as he pulled her even closer.

She stopped thinking about why. Why was he doing this _now_. Why was he acting so desperate.

She brought her hands from around his neck, her fingers hesitating over the button on his shirt. He nodded without breaking the kiss so she undid the buttons, her hands clumsy and shaking. He let go of her long enough for her to push the shirt down over his shoulders where it fell to the floor with a soft sound.

He pulled his face away and pulled her own shirt over her head. His lips were on her shoulder, her collar bone, her neck. Her hands went to his hair. Her head was spinning again, not because something was wrong with her but because she couldn't believe this was happening. She let him unbutton her jeans and push them down over her hips.

She was really glad she took her time and put that razor to good use because as soon as she stepped out of her jeans his hands were moving all over her. There was one thing about living in a world where you had to be concerned that the dead will break through your defenses and eat you alive. You stopped thinking about certain things. Things like getting touched by a man. A man that you'd dreamed about for a year. A man that seemed to somehow know exactly how to touch you.

She felt her knees growing week and it was like he could read her mind. He moved his hand away and then walked her backwards towards the bunk. He never once broke their kiss until her head touched the pillow and his lips moved from her mouth to her ear once more as he braced himself on his forearms.

"Is this what ya want?" He whispered, sending a jolt through her.

She nodded, eyes wide, not sure if she would ever find her voice again. It was so strange that there was no hesitation. She never dreamed that he could be like this. It was something she could have never imagined. But there he was. Bracing himself with one arm while he went for the button on his pants with his other hand.

He struggled out of his pants, causing him to actually chuckle as he tried to free himself from them. She couldn't help but grin at him. When he was finally free he was kissing her again. Her body was screaming for him. She'd never needed anything so bad in her life. Not food or water or air. She had to feel all of him.

She felt him pressing against her, so close, but he pulled his mouth away from hers once more and went to her ear. "You gotta promise me you're gonna try to stay with me. Say it"

She didn't understand what he was talking about but she agreed. "I promise. I promise I'll stay with you." She breathed.

He raised his head then, eyes locked on hers, an expression she had never seen in them before. And then he pushed himself into her, eyes darkening and breath catching in his throat. She felt her eyes roll back as he filled her, a small cry escaping her throat before his lips were on hers again. She'd never felt anything so good in her life. Like they were made to fit together perfectly.

He moved slow and she matched every move he made, like she knew what he was about to do before he even did. When she felt that pressure building up inside her she dug her nails into his back. His mouth dropped to her chest. As soon as his mouth covered the top of her breast she arched into him and then gasped. He drove into her quicker then, moving his mouth back up to cover her cries. She couldn't stop so she kissed him back, broken sounds muffled by his lips as he drove into faster, harder, her body jerking and twitching as she was crushed by a pleasure she had never even known existed.

The only indication he gave was a low growl in his throat as his body tensed, and then she felt him as he came with her. His kiss grew deeper, less frantic as he slowed and then finally stilled over her. She was just coming down herself as she raked her nails gently across the back of his neck when his head fell onto her chest. He stayed right there for a while, until their breathing became even once more and their hearts weren't hammering as hard.

He eventually rolled off of her, onto his side, pulling her against him in the same movement. Her back was pressed against his chest and his finger twined around hers. His lips grazed her shoulder all the way up to her neck.

"You okay now?" He whispered.

She nodded, a small smile on her face that he couldn't see. She squeezed his fingers with her own. "We're gonna be just fine." She whispered back.


	4. Letting Go

**I'm really sorry that some of you are really scared right now. You all wanted me to update quick so I am doing that but this is the weirdest chapter of all. The chapter after this one is the one that will let you know part of what is going on. Thanks for sticking through the weirdness. I appreciate you all for reading and letting me know what you think! Much love!**

**Letting Go**

Chapter Four

Carol hadn't been asleep long enough to dream that night. She woke up to someone shaking her hip. She opened her eyes, blinking but it was still pitch black in their cell. It wasn't even daylight yet.

"Carol. It's time." She felt Daryl's lips next to her ear.

"It isn't even morning yet." She said as she raised her head and glanced towards the door. Everything was black.

"I know, but it will be soon. We gotta go." His fingers dug into her hip roughly as a familiar wave of dizziness swept over her.

She rolled over and sat up, the blankets falling from her, causing her to shiver. She was naked. The memories of what they had done nearly knocked the wind out of her. She had felt like she had been about to slip away somehow, but he had kept her grounded. He had kept her there with him. She even remembered promising that she would stay with him. What a strange request, coming from him.

"I have to pack." She whispered, stalling.

"I have everything we're gonna need." She blinked when he lit the lamp. He was sitting on the edge of the bunk, shirtless with his hair mused.

He handed her a stack of clothes. They looked new but also vaguely familiar. The unmistakeable scent of fabric softener filled her nose. She frowned, taking the stack from him. There was a white t-shirt, a dark blue sweater, jeans... it all looked so familiar.

She got dressed as he gathered up a few more things, shoving this and that into his backpack. "Where did you get these clothes?" She asked warily as she shoved her feet into her boots.

He shrugged. "They're yours."

She frowned and watched him. "Where did they come from?"

He turned around, giving her an exasperated look. "What the fuck does it matter?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "It doesn't. But it's a simple question that you should be able to answer. Why won't you answer it?"

"Stop." He said suddenly, desperately, as his eyes went impossibly wide.

She frowned and then the room seemed to dissolve around her.

"No!" She heard him growl before the world became silent.

Sophia was standing next to a bed again. She was looking down into Carol's face. Her eyes intense and as wide as Daryl's had been.

"Mom!" Sophia croaked and then the most beautiful smile she had ever seen split the little girls face.

Carol swallowed hard, her throat so dry that it hurt badly.

"_Stop!"_ She heard Daryl's voice and she squeezed her eyes closed again. A huge part of her wanted to will the voice to go away so she could look at Sophia some more. She looked so happy, but an equally large part wanted the voice to take her back to him. He sounded so broken. She couldn't have them both but both was what she needed.

"Mom?"

"Carol?"

Her eyes snapped open. He was knelt in front of her, hands cupping her face. Their eyes locked and she could have sworn she saw tears in his before he dropped his head into her lap. She stared down at him wide eyed and afraid. He knew. He knew she was losing her mind. That explained why he was acting so strange. That explained why he had opened up to her so completely. He was afraid of losing her to insanity.

She tried to gather her splintered thoughts. Did they all know that this was happening to her? She tried to remember if any of them had said anything to indicate they did but she couldn't remember. Everything was so foggy. The only things that were clear and sharp were her visions of Sophia and the things she had done with Daryl. Those were the only two things that seemed real right now. It almost felt like Daryl and Sophia were silently fighting for her attention.

She stroked his hair. It felt real under her trembling fingers. He was very still, not making a sound. When he raised his head he moved back onto his heels, still kneeling. His eyes were clear now, penetrating her thoughts with a fierce look. When he stood up he grabbed her hand, slung his bow and his backpack onto his shoulders and then pulled her from the cell by her hand.

She was too afraid to speak. They made their way on silent feet, down the stairs, through the common room and then out into a strangely bright silvery light. He walked purposefully towards the gate. She hurried to keep up with his long strides as his grip crushed her fingers. When she glanced over at him his lips were set in a hard line.

When they made their way to the gate she saw movement off to her right. When she focused she saw people walking towards them. Once they were close enough she could make out their faces. Rick, Carl and Glenn stepped out of the darkness first, followed by Maggie, Beth and Hershel.

Rick gave Daryl a hard look. "What are you doing?" He asked in an angry hiss. "Did you really think we wouldn't find out?"

Carol moved closer to Daryl's side and she actually heard a low growl rumbling in his chest.

Hershel moved forward, "Son, this isn't the way. This isn't how it's suppose to be." He spoke gently and then reached out to put a hand on Daryl's shoulder.

Daryl shrank away from the touch, drawing her away a few feet from the small group that was watching them warily.

"I ain't lettin' her go!" He snarled, causing the little group to back up from them a few steps.

Carol stared at him with wide eyes. They knew. They all knew that she was losing her mind.

Rick shook his head. "You have too! You don't understand what you're doing, Daryl."

Maggie and Beth started crying, holding each other close.

Glenn took a step towards them. "This isn't right, Daryl." He muttered quietly.

"What's right?" Daryl roared, causing them all to take another step away from them and causing her to flinch against him. "You tell me what's right. Sendin' her back? Back to _him_? Tell me that's right. She belongs here!" He was gasping for breath. "she belongs with me!"

Carl stepped forward. "Keep her then." he shrugged. "And every time she thinks about Sophia, you'll know that it's your fault. You remember that. She don't have her anymore because of you." The boy said calmly. "Can you live with that?"

Daryl was panting, emotions raw and painful on his face.

"Don't say that to him." Carol hissed. How could Carl say that? Blame him for Sophia? Why wasn't any of them making any sense? She looked up into Daryl's tortured face, his breath coming in ragged gasps. She squeezed his hand. "I'm ready. Let's go."

Carl wordlessly opened the gate and Daryl looked at the narrow opening for some time before he took in a shuddering breath and pulled her through it. Once she was outside the safety of the fence she realized that they were exposed. They were easy targets for the throngs of Walkers that were always there. Somehow this wasn't something that worried her. What worried her were Carl's words. How could he say that to the man when everyone knew how he blamed himself for Sophia?

They walked towards the trees, the moon was full, brilliant. It seemed too bright to her for some reason, their shadows clear on the tall grass. His hand was no longer crushing hers. He rearranged his grip so now his fingers were laced through hers. He abruptly stopped and turned so he was facing her.

"I'm gonna try, okay. I know you don't understand. I know you don't. But I'm gonna try to keep you. They don't think it's right but I don't care. It's safer here. You understand? I can't protect you out there."

She frowned, her vision growing blurry until she blinked. His words were barely registering in her mind. His voice was clear but his words were not. She didn't understand. But she did know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she trusted him. That was all she knew for sure. His eyes searched hers worriedly.

"I trust you." She whispered. "I'll always trust you."

He seemed to find some solace in her words because he nodded. Touched her face briefly, letting his thumb glide along her bottom lip and then turned and led her into the trees.

Somehow the ultra bright moonlight filtered down through the trees and still bathed everything in that strange silvery glow. She could see just as clearly as if she were strolling through the woods in early morning sunlight. The only sound that she could discern was the hushed sound of her own footfalls on the dead leaves that littered the forest floor and the sound of water from the river nearby. They were walking towards the sound of the water.

Finally her mind put itself together enough to realize that she hadn't even grabbed her jacket. She had nothing on but the clothes that he had handed her but she wasn't cold. The warmth of his hand in hers was about the only thing she could really feel.

"This ain't right, little brother."

They both stopped as a raspy voice came from somewhere to their left and then Merle stepped out into their path.

"Leave it be, Merle. This don't got a thing to do with you." Daryl said quietly.

There were no walkers. Carol realized this with a start and then squeezed Daryl's hand a little tighter. They were everywhere now days. So why had they not ran into one? They were always shambling around the outside of the fence of the prison but in that oddly bright moonlight she had seen nothing. Not one walker.

Daryl started walking once more and she fell into step beside him. She thought it was strange that he hadn't said anything about the walkers, or lack thereof. Merle joined them wordlessly. She looked up and he glanced at her, his face sympathetic.

"Daryl," He said in a hushed tone. "This isn't going to work. There ain't no way you can do this. She's ready."

"Fuck you." Daryl said calmly. "I can do this."

"Everything slips away from you, boy." Merle said with a shake of his head. "The moons too bright. The walkers are gone. You don't feel her slippin' further away? She's leavin' ya boy. She's almost gone."

Daryl dropped her hand and then slipped the bag and Crossbow from his shoulders. She watched in silent amazement as he wordlessly flung himself at his brother. He hit him twice in the face before shoving him off the path. "I can do this." He growled. "Y'all won't give me a chance."

"Cause it ain't right. You're killin' her." Merle took two steps and was in Daryl's face. "You're gonna take her away from that girl and you don't even care."

Carol felt tears sting her eyes. She felt as though she were nothing but a ghost. She felt an emptiness inside her that almost hurt. Daryl's head turned to her sharply, he shook his head as miraculously the narrow path they were standing on widened until they were standing in a clearing.

"What's happening?" She sobbed and then he was right there, her face in his hands.

"You fuckin' promised, Carol." He said, his voice thick, eyes full of pain.

Merle was at her side next, a hard hand on her shoulder. "It's time to go, Carol. You got everything you need. Go home." He whispered before Daryl knocked his hand off of her.

The moon was directly overhead now, a huge ball of light in the sky. She looked away from him and gazed at the moon, tears pouring from her aching eyes. In the center of that white globe there appeared a strange black dot, as though something were hanging in front of it.

"No," Daryl hissed, shaking her shoulders. She felt her head snap back and forth at the force but she couldn't take her eyes from that black dot. It seemed to be growing, blocking out a portion of the moon.

"Daryl, what's happening?" She whispered. That blackness wrapped itself around the moon like a dark cloak but strangely enough the silvery light still surrounded them. She couldn't make any sense of anything that was happening anymore but it was no longer scaring her.

"Just look at me." He said between clenched teeth.

She wanted to listen to him but movement behind him caught her attention and she moved her gaze to the edge of the trees that were now in the distance. Walkers appeared, it looked like hundreds of them and she knew she should cry out. She should warn him as they drew closer, hungry mouths slack and dripping, eyes roving over the large clearing, unseeing. Carol felt nothing but numb. Her emotions were locked away somewhere as the dead made their way towards the trio. Merle, like her, watched them come silently.

Twenty feet away, ten, five. The mass separated and filed past them as though they were nothing more than an obstacle in their way. She watched, fascinated and calm.

Once more she was able to focus on Daryl. He was still as stone. Frozen there with his eyes drilling into hers, willing her fractured mind to make sense of the things going on. When, from the corner of her eye, the last of the herd filed past she realized that not all of them had made their way around them. There was a small group huddled at the edge of the woods, looking towards them.

"You can make them go away. It can be me and you. Nobody else if that's what you want. You just have to want it bad enough." He was pleading.

She touched the side of his face and she was astonished as his eyes filled with tears. She was not numb to this. This was something that cut her to the bone. Flayed her open and filled her with a pain that was nearly as bad as the pain she had felt upon seeing Sophia in that dream. The pain was real. Very real. Nothing else made sense but this did. This was real to her. His pain was hers. She felt it, the realization nearly knocking her to her knees. His pain was real but somehow he wasn't.

"That ain't true." He shook his head, panic clear on his rugged features as he read her thoughts. "I _can_ be."

The group hovering at the edge of her vision started to approach them then.

"Don't look at them." He urged.

When the group stopped a few feet away she looked over. Lori, Andrea, T-dog, Dale, Jim, Jackie, Amy, and Shane stood there, their faces all wearing sad smiles. Rick, Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Hershel and Carl joined them.

"You can't keep her here." Merle said as he put a hand on his brothers shoulder.

Daryl didn't take his eyes off hers. He was the only thing that she needed to be real, the others just ghosts but deep inside she was starting to understand that he wasn't. He was a ghost too. He took a deep shuddering breath. Carol could feel the eyes of her group on them but she couldn't look away as suddenly he gave up. She felt him give up. She felt it deep inside. He was going to let her go. She wasn't even sure where she was suppose to be going. But she knew she had to go. She knew, as painful as it was going to be, that she had to leave him. There was something else, something stronger than him that was pulling her away.

Insanity?

He shook his head and placed his hands on the side of her face. His hands didn't feel right. She could feel them there on her skin but the texture was off. "You gotta remember. You gotta remember all of this. It's comin'. Do you hear me? They're comin' and you know that now. You gotta save as many of us as you can. And don't you fuckin' forget how strong you are. Don't you dare forget that." He was crying by the time he was finished.

"I don't want to go." She heard herself whisper, her voice far away to her own ears. Like she was speaking but from a great distance.

"I can't stop it. Just remember. Remember all of this." His voice was fading. "Remember me." He pulled her face towards him then, kissing her. His lips were soft but desperate. She closed her eyes, oblivious now to the strange audience that was watching them. "They're comin', Carol. Don't forget...

She felt the ground shift under her feet and then she felt him pulling away. She kept her eyes closed even when finally his hands were no longer touching the sides of her face. Tears seeped out from between her sealed lids. He was gone now. They were all gone now. She could feel it. She was too afraid to open her eyes. Too afraid that once she did then it would all be confirmed. She would be alone. Her family lost.

She relaxed her tense body, almost able to feel the silvery light on her skin. Her chest hurt. Her throat was on fire. This sadness was so very dense. She would have to go now. He wasn't there to keep her grounded anymore. He had left her.

Her body relaxed further until she could have sworn that she could feel a mattress under her. Exhaustion overtook her and although she wanted to know what waited for her, still she refused to open her eyes. Refused to see the empty space where he had been. She was dozing off. Maybe she would dream of him. That was all she had left.

**Don't kill me! I haven't let you guys down yet and I don't plan too. This is a Caryl fic through and through. Keep that in mind!**


	5. Awake

**Hey! Sorry for the delay! I'm trying to keep myself ahead on this story so I've been taking my time posting. I'll hopefully be updating for the other story tonight too. Fingers are crossed. Don't be too discouraged about this chapter! Remember what I said before. It's a Caryl fic. Not just a Carol fic ;) Maybe this will ease your fears a little and those of you that guessed spot on can do a victory dance. There were a few of you. Thank you all, again, for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it more than you know =) **

**Awake**

Chapter Five

Carol could feel the mattress under her back now and she wondered where Daryl could have gone. She'd had the strangest dream that she wanted to tell him about but he wasn't there. If he had been in the bed then she wouldn't have had the room to lay on her back without laying halfway on top of him.

She smiled at the thought and then tried to stretch. He must have gone out for an early hunt. He did that sometimes when the weather was good. It had been good for quite a few days. She frowned when her arms didn't want to obey her commands. Her legs didn't either.

She opened her eyes and gasped. She wasn't looking up at the underside of the top bunk. She was looking at a plain white drop tile ceiling. She was in a room she vaguely recognized. Sunlight was streaming through the windows. It looked strangely familiar to heralso but she knew she had never seen this room in the prison. She inhaled deeply to try to calm her thundering heart. The smell was off. It was unfamiliar. She was used to the smell of dirt, Daryl's sweat, harsh soap and blood. She smelled none of that. Most of the time even her own clothes smelled like him.

She felt weak. She had to wonder if she had gotten herself hurt. Maybe they had been on a run and she had gotten injured. But that couldn't be it. The last thing she remembered...

She almost sat up. She had been with Daryl. Really been with him. They had actually slept together. She remembered every single thing. The way his hands had felt on her skin. The taste of his lips on hers. The feel of him when they had finally...

She couldn't sit up. She was too weak to sit up. Daryl had woken her up and they had left the prison. She remembered that. Merle was there. They had ran into Merle and him and Daryl had started fighting about something. They had been fighting over her but she couldn't remember what it could have been about.

She was weak, she was delirious, she was... oh god! What if she had been bitten? Were they waiting on her to die? She noticed then that her throat was burning from thirst. It felt as though fire was licking it's way up to escape from her throat. Her tongue was dry and thick and stuck to the roof of her mouth. The longer she lay there the more she realized that her throat and the agonizing fatigue weren't the only things wrong with her. She ached. Her stomach ached and her head was throbbing slightly.

She heard a door opening and her eyes flicked down. Her breath caught in her flaming throat.

Sophia.

Carol's eyes filled with tears and she opened her mouth to speak but it was too dry. Sophia hadn't even looked in her direction. The little girl that Carol had missed so very much was now right in front of her, frowning and carrying her backpack. Her shoulders were slumped and she looked so tired. She walked to the chair and plopped the backpack down, rummaging through it and finally producing a thick book. She clamped a pencil between her teeth and pulled out a notebook. She walked over to the far wall and collapsed to the floor with her legs crossed. She opened the book, still frowning with the pencil in her mouth.

Carol could barely breath. She remembered having recent dreams like this but this didn't feel like a dream at all. There was no Daryl calling her back to him. There was nothing but her little girl sitting on the floor with her homework.

"Come on Sophia," Sophia muttered to herself as she bounced the pencil's eraser off the offending page and the sound of her daughters voice was probably the sweetest thing that Carol could imagine hearing. There was no music, no sound that could have pierced through her soul like that sound. A sound she hadn't heard with her own ears in over a year. A choked sound finally escaped her parched lips and Sophia's head shot up, eyes wide and filled with so much hope that Carol nearly had to look away.

"Mom?" She leapt from the floor and rushed to the bed. Her hand came out and touched the side of Carol's face hesitantly before hugging her gently.

Carol breathed in the scent of Sophia and felt her eyes fill with tears once more. She blinked them away over and over, hating them for being there for fear they would cause her to not be able to look at her daughter for as long as she would like. This had to be a dream. She must have been injured and dying and this was the kind of hell her mind was throwing at her. When she awoke she would have the fresh pain of losing her daughter to deal with all over again.

But it couldn't be. She was too real. She felt so solid and she smelled just like she always had. Like her favorite strawberry scented shampoo and _Sophia. _Just a sweet smell all her own.

"I was so afraid you weren't going to come back. I thought maybe... I thought maybe I'd lose you." Sophia muttered shakily as she raised her head from Carol's chest.

Carol met the girls teary eyes and felt her face crumple as her own vision blurred before her once more. She had to pray that when she blinked the tears away that Sophia wouldn't disappear and be replaced by a cold brick wall. She tried to clear her throat so she could say something to the girl that had haunted her memories for all this time but it felt like she had swallowed razor blades. She winced at the pain and then realization dawned on the little girls face.

"Crap! I need to go get Rhonda! I'll be right back!" Sophia ran out of the room before Carol could do anything to try and stop her.

Carol watched her go silently. How could all of this feel so real? Her heart was still hammering as she waited to see if her daughter would come back or if this was all a cruel trick that her mind was playing on her. While Sophia was gone she lifted her hand in front of her face. Her wedding ring was there on her left hand. They were soft, not one callous, her nails were perfect ovals. She was amazed at how hard it was to even lift her hand to her face.

She was suppose to be strong. Not as strong as Daryl but...

Daryl...

She was starting to feel panic fill her. Where was he? Where was her group? Her and Daryl had left them. That's right. They had left the prison in the middle of the night.

_"I can't stop it. Just remember. Remember all of this." His voice was fading. "Remember me." He pulled her face towards him then, kissing her. His lips were soft but desperate. She closed her eyes, oblivious now to the strange audience that was watching them. "They're comin', Carol. Don't forget..."_

"He's gone!" She all but shouted to the empty room as her throat screamed in agony and her heart lurched at this realization. He was gone. She was here and he was... where was he? How could this have happened? If she was here then he should have been here with her. He was always with her. Always, unless he was on a hunting trip. Or a short run. He couldn't be gone. He wouldn't have left her. He loved her. As ridiculous as it was to fathom she knew it was the truth. He loved her and he had kept her alive, kept her safe, found her when she was on the brink of death, came back for her. He had asked her to leave with him.

New tears sprang to her eyes now. This was reality. Daryl Dixon didn't exist. She had lost him. These tears were formed from pain, unlike the happy tears that stung her eyes when she had seen Sophia. These tears were bitter, burning. Like acid on her face. He was gone. He had never been hers to begin with.

_"__Remember me."_

His gruff voice demanded. It was in her head but voiced so clearly he could have said it right into her ear and it wouldn't have been more clear.

Just before she was sure the grief would drive her insane the door opened once more and Sophia walked in, tugging the hand of a heavy set black lady. The woman looked at her in surprise.

"Oh my. Mrs. Peletier, we've been waiting on you for a long time now!" The woman said as she walked up to the bed. She checked some readings on a machine that Carol hadn't even realized she had been hooked up too.

Sophia was at her side again, holding her hand, tears still racing down her freckled cheeks.

"I bet you're parched. I can't give you anything to drink just yet, ma'am, but I can bring you some ice chips when I come back with the doctor, alright?" She patted Carol's hand and then hurried back out of the room.

Carol couldn't force herself to look away from Sophia. She knew now she wasn't dreaming. This was all real. Very real. A sickening thought crossed her mind then and she eyed Sophia, looking for bruises. She had been with her father. Ed wouldn't have been able to keep from unleashing his violence on someone and if Carol hadn't been around then surely it would have been her little girl to take the brunt of that violence. She looked for bruises but she didn't seem to have any. Once she got her strength back she would examine her further.

"How?" She croaked and then winced.

"You were in an accident. You were hit by a truck. You've been here a long time. I didn't think you were going to wake up." The girl cried and Carol tried to squeeze her hand but she didn't have the strength.

Carol didn't remember any of this. She didn't remember getting into an accident.

"A few times you almost..." Sophia's voice trailed off but then she lifted her chin and wiped her tears away with the hand that wasn't clutching Carol's. "A few times they weren't sure you wouldn't make it. You just started giving up. But you came back every time. You just wouldn't wake up. They ran so many tests and everything came back just fine. They just said that you would wake up when you were ready."

When she was ready? That was what she kept hearing people say to her. That she was ready, but she hadn't understood what that meant at the time.

"How long?" She whispered, whispering didn't hurt her throat as bad.

"Three months. You've been asleep for three months."

"Has he hurt you?" She whispered, feeling weaker and weaker every second.

Sophia shook her head. "He hasn't. I wasn't sure at first what would happen and I was afraid he'd do the things to me that he's always done to you but he didn't. He's just always real quiet. I even saw him crying a few times. Sometimes it's a little like I'm not there. I stay here a lot. I go to my friend's house other times. But I've been real good. I go to school every day and I do my homework when I'm suppose too."

Carol felt her lips turn up in a small smile and she tried once again to squeeze her daughters hand but she just didn't have enough strength in her.

She was happy to hear that Ed hadn't hurt her, she saw the truth in her daughters eyes. But the thought of him neglecting her, forcing her to take care of herself like that really made her angry. He had probably just turned to the bottle. She didn't even want to think about that at the moment.

How could she go back to that? How could she look at that filthy man after being with someone like Daryl? She wouldn't. She would go home, throw him out and file for divorce as soon as she was well enough. She was not the person he most likely still thought she was. She had fought off the dead and she had fought off starvation and the elements and countless other things. She would not bow down to any man, especially a wife beating coward like Ed Peletier. Never again. Had it just been a few days ago that her and Daryl had sat in their cell and she had wished that Ed were alive? Just so he could see who she was now?

_"They're comin', Carol. Don't forget..."_

Jesus, it was as though he were in the room with her.

The door opened, her and Sophia both watching as a man in a white coat came in. He had short salt and pepper hair and a trim beard and mustache. He plucked the glassed off his nose and let them drop onto his chest.

He gave her a tired smile. "Mrs. Peletier, it's about time."

The nurse came in after him with a foam cup and a spoon. She fed Carol a few pieces of the chipped ice and Carol was certain that she would pass out from the pleasure of her parched mouth and throat finally getting some sort of liquid. A few more small pieces was all she was allowed before the doctor pulled up a chair and sat down next to her bed.

"Has Sophia filled you in on what's happened to you?" he asked.

"A little." Carol whispered. Her throat felt much better just from that little bit of moisture. "I was in an accident. I've been asleep for three months."

Rhonda took Sophia by the hand and walked her towards the door. Carol felt herself start to panic until the woman turned with a smile. "I'll have her right back after the doctor is all finished with you."

Carol wanted to argue but she didn't have time. The woman had Sophia ushered out and the door closed before Carol could gain the strength to say a word.

The doctor nodded. "You've been in a coma. A very deep one I might add. We ran tests and although your brain didn't seem to be injured, you simply refused to wake up. We had several scares where your vitals dropped and we were unsure if you would pull through. The damage that you sustained in the accident have long since healed. Broken leg, broken ribs, two fractures to your right arm and one to your left. You slept right through all of that."

She noticed that he kept glancing at her as though he wanted to say more but wasn't sure how. She frowned. "Is there something else?" She croaked.

He sighed. "Not anything to worry yourself over really. I'm just a little curious about something."

She nodded slightly. "What is it?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "I was curious. You see, one of the tests we ran on you was a test to monitor your brain activity. What we found was... strange."

Her frown deepened. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, it wasn't normal. It was as though you were awake. You were stimulated as though you were out on the street talking and walking. There were times that it was as though you were living some very exciting life, but it was only in your head. By any chance, do you remember anything that you've possibly dreamed? It would be fascinating to hear."

Carol thought about the quarry. The farm. That long winter on the road, the prison. The death of Sophia, the people who had seemed to become engrained into her heart, the losses and the triumphs and the kindnesses and cruelties of that post apocalyptic world. She had fought and had won. She had discovered herself in that place. She had finally found a real family, she had found her niche. She had found love in that desolate place and she had blossomed there like an orchid in the muck.

"I don't remember." She said as tears blurred her vision. Thoughts chased one another around in her mind. She had always said that she would give up anything to have her daughter back, and she didn't regret saying that now. But she ached for her family. She couldn't accept the fact that they weren't real. She didn't feel guilty for the longing that she felt inside.

"I'm sure you must feel exhausted but there was one more thing." he said, sounding disappointed that she couldn't regal him with tales of her strange dream. "There were times, especially for the past few days that it seemed like you were back. Your eyes would be open and you would actually be focused on things, but after no longer than a minute of these bouts of consciousness, something yanked you right back under. In all my years of dealing with coma patients, this is the strangest by far."

Daryl. He had tried so hard to keep her there. Her eyes stung more and there was a lump in her throat she couldn't swallow down. The doctor patted her hand and then promised to return in a few hours. He left her alone.

How was she going to go the rest of her life and never see Daryl again? How could she face everyday without somehow teasing a laugh from him? She didn't think she could. How could she be so in love with a figment of her imagination? It hurt so much that she heard a sob escape her lips and she brought her shaky hands up to her face. Those shattering sobs wracked her tired body as she mourned the loss of a man that had never really been there. What a cruel joke this was.

"Mom? Are you alright?" Sophia laid a hand on her shoulder. She hadn't even heard the girl come back in.

Carol swiped the tears away. Crying was for pussies. That's one of the lessons she had learned from him. Pick yourself up and move the fuck on. She was not a pussy. She took a deep calming breath and blew it out slowly before meeting her daughters eyes. "I'm just fine, honey. I'm just a little... confused right now." At least that was an honest answer. She was very confused right now.

Sophia reached up and wiped away more tears and then left her hand there on Carol's cheek. "I'm glad you're back, mom. And life is going to be much better now, you'll see."

Carol covered her daughters hand with her own as she felt her eyelids growing heavy. "How is that?" She asked.

"All that money that you are gonna get from that truck that hit you." She said with a smile.

Carol frowned. "What? What are you talking about?" She was trying to fight off the dizzying exhaustion long enough to make sense of what her daughter was telling her.

"The truck that hit you was some kind of company truck or something. The driver tested positive, whatever that means. I guess the company he worked for has to pay you a lot of money for causing you to have to be in here for so long and all the broken bones and stuff. Now maybe daddy won't be mad all the time."

Carol shook her head in wonder. She supposed that this should have been good news to her. She figured she would learn more about it when she was finally able to speak to Ed. Maybe Sophia had misunderstood. She had spent over a year not worrying about things like money. It seemed so very trivial now. But then she had to remind herself that this wasn't the world she had created in her head. This was a different world. And maybe having a bit more money would prove to make their lives better, like Sophia had predicted.


	6. The Delivery Boy

**I'm so glad you all enjoyed that last chapter! It makes all the headaches this story has given me worth it! Okay, this is where I have a little trouble and I hope none of you mind. Sometimes... okay, _usually_ I end up making Carol just a tiny bit harder than some of you like. Keep in mind the lessons she has learned and the changes she has made. She will go about things much differently now. She's learned how to deal with monsters. Real ones. So she handles another kind of monster flawlessly in this chapter. I hope you don't think it was too much! Thank you for reading! Hope you all have a fantastic weekend =)**

**And a huge thank you ldyjaydin for catching the majority of my flaws. You have a hard job, love! But you do it well ;)**

**The Delivery Boy**

Chapter Six

Carol was getting stronger. Much stronger. Her muscles had deteriorated and she had woken up as soft and defenseless as a baby . She could barely walk at all for the first few days but the physical therapy team were patient and encouraging. She didn't dream when she slept. She had hoped that she would. She had hoped that maybe she could still be with Daryl, even if it was only in her own mind. She knew how crazy it all sounded but that was still all she hoped for. He never showed up. She was grieving but she tried to hide it.

Ed had visited her on her second day awake. He came in and mumbled a few things about being glad she wasn't dead and about the large sum of money she would be receiving. He muttered about how it would be nice because that way they could pay off their debts and maybe move to a better house. She hadn't said a word. She looked him right in the eye as he spoke though he kept his diverted from hers. She didn't know how to be who they all thought she was. She was a new woman. A strong woman. Not the person they knew at all.

Looking at him made her skin crawl. He was being civil now but as soon as she was well enough to go home things would get bad again. Well, he would try to make things bad again. This time he was messing with a woman that had killed. She had killed and she had survived and if he put one hand on her he would know what pain was. Hell, maybe she wouldn't even wait for him to put his hands on her. One cruel word to her and she would not hesitate to smash in his face. It's what she should have done the very first time it had happened years ago.

When she looked at him she grimaced. Sophia sat silent in the chair, watching her mother with wide eyes. Carol couldn't help but compare the two men. Ed was an unattractive woman beating coward. He was soft. Soft chin, soft jawed and soft bellied. Very different from what she had gotten used to seeing. Daryl was all hard muscle and firm lines. She didn't care that Daryl was a figment of her imagination. He had been real to her. Solid and strong and her constant companion. He had been real that last night she had been with him. He had been very real.

"Why didn't you take care of your daughter while I was unconscious?" She snapped, knowing she wasn't ready for their inevitable show down but unable to keep her mouth shut.

His head snapped up then. His eyes narrowed. "You need to watch your tone. I feel bad about what happened to you but I won't stand here and have the likes of you talk down to me. You understand?"

She nodded, feeling the rage pooling in her stomach. "Mmmm. I understand perfectly Ed. More than you will ever know."

He stared at her for a long time but she refused to break the eye contact with him. She would not avert her gaze and submit to him.

"I think it's time for you to leave." She said in a strong quiet voice. "Thanks for stopping by but I think maybe if I have to look at your ugly face much more I may just vomit. And I don't feel like vomiting at the moment."

She saw the shock on his face and couldn't hide the small smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. He was standing there in disbelief. Sophia gasped at her bold words. She wanted to give her daughter a reassuring look but she still refused to move her eyes from Ed's. Finally his lips twisted up into a cruel smile.

"I guess I'll go on home then. I can't wait for you to get to leave here." He said quietly. She heard the threat in his voice but he did turn then and left the room. At least he would wait for her to be one hundred percent recovered before he tried to beat her back into submission. _Tried _being the key word there.

She watched him walk out the door. He had been the one to break the eye contact. He had looked away first. She didn't know why this thrilled her but it did. It made her feel good inside to stand up to him like that.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Sophia was at her side in a flash. "He's going to kill you now! Why would you say something like that to him?"

Tears shone in the girl's eyes and Carol used both her hands to wipe them away. She kept her hands on the sides of her daughter's stricken face and she smiled sadly. She was ashamed of herself. This is why Sophia had gotten herself bitten. This was why she had lost her daughter to begin with. It was Carol who had taught her, from example, to keep her eyes on the ground. To avoid violence. To cower under those that were stronger than her. She taught her this and it had costed her her life. Maybe not here in the real world but it was still as real to Carol as if it all had just happened.

"You listen to me, okay." She said fiercely. "You are strong. You don't ever forget that. You don't ever stand there and let anyone hurt you. You fight back and you survive. That is what we are going to start doing. We stand up for ourselves and we stand up for each other. Do you understand? Your daddy is a gutless coward. We will_ not _be afraid of him anymore."

Sophia's bright eyes were big as saucers as she searched Carol's face. She blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over. Her chin came up a few inches and her lips formed a thin determined line. "And if he tries to hurt us when we go back?" She asked, her tone dark but no longer frightened.

Carol thought back to everything she had been through, or imagined she had been through, over the past year. She thought of the things she had learned about herself. She thought of the things Daryl had taught her. She removed her hands from Sophia's face and then took the girl's hands in hers and gave them a gentle squeeze. "We don't take any shit from anyone. If he wants a fight then I'm gonna give him one. He doesn't own us. He hurts us, we fuck him up."

Sophia blinked as her face turned from one of distress to one of complete shock. "Mom, you know what he's gonna do now..."

"Sophia, I know that he better think twice about what he plans on doing. He'll learn. I'll teach him."

"Mom, I think maybe you should think about this."

Carol let her head fall back onto the pillow as she let go of Sophia's hands. "We're going to be fine, honey. Just fine. I don't want you worrying about your father and me."

Sophia sighed and then bent down and kissed Carol on the cheek. "I love you mom. Get some rest, okay?" She said, more than a hint of worry marring her words.

"I love you too." Carol smiled and then closed her eyes.

It took her three weeks. Three weeks to rebuild her strength enough for her to walk herself out of those hospital doors. She wasn't as strong as she would have liked to be but her strength was building quickly. She would buy herself some weights or something. She had to be able to fight off Ed. She was almost sure that he would try to hurt her or Sophia after she got home today. It didn't matter. She was ready.

She had no friends she could call for a ride. He had made sure to keep everyone away from her. He pulled up to the curb and didn't bother getting out to help her. Sophia opened her car door for her and slammed it shut before she got into the backseat. Carol caught her eye in the rearview mirror and smiled reassuringly at her. Sophia simply nodded.

Carol didn't even glance in Ed's direction. Instead she looked out her window, amazed at the normalcy of the scene that flew by. This was her hometown. There were no flesh eating monsters stalking them. Nor a worry about when you would get your next meal or next fresh drink of water. The sun was shining and children were playing and everything looked rather peaceful.

She felt out of place. This wasn't her world anymore.

Ed didn't say a word to her and that was fine by her. She did feel a bit of excitement stirring when they pulled up into her driveway. She was going to get to see the inside of her house. She would get to go through old family photos and cook in her own kitchen and bathe in her own bathtub. All of these things were good things but she wasn't as excited as she should be. She was eager to see her things but that's all they were to her now. Things. As long as she had Sophia back nothing else mattered. None of the_ things_ in the house would replace Rick, Glenn, Carl... Maggie, Hershel, Judith or Beth. None of those things mattered anymore. She wouldn't even let herself think_ his_ name. Every time she did the dagger in her heart twisted painfully and she found it harder to breath.

"You plan on cookin' anything for dinner. It's been forever since I've been able to sit down to a home cooked meal," Ed grumbled as he stormed past her and sat down in his ratty old lazy-e-boy chair.

She ignored him and made her way to the kitchen. Everything seemed to be in order. She was surprised. She figured she would have found nearly four months worth of dirty dishes and garbage strewn out all over her kitchen. It wasn't as spotless as she would have kept it but it wasn't half bad.

She went to the counter where there were several pans and a large skillet in the dish drainer. She was going to put the few dried dishes away when she heard him enter the kitchen. His heavier footsteps were followed by the quicker lighter ones of her daughter.

"I asked you a question. I expect an answer," he growled from a few feet away.

Her heart lurched in her chest and she felt her lips press into an angry line. She wasn't at full strength just yet but that didn't matter. Just like when they had to kill off walkers, she felt that familiar adrenalin spike her blood. If there was a threat then eliminate the threat. One of the first rules that Daryl had taught her. She ignored the pain his name caused and clutched the handle of the skillet with both hands. "No. I'm not cooking dinner. I'm tired and this is my first day back home. We can order a pizza."

"You're gonna cook dinner. All I've lived on is take out and I'll be damned if I'm gonna eat that shit when you're here to cook some goddamn food. Now cook."

"You don't own me, Ed. You aren't my boss or my daddy or my keeper. You want something else? Fine. Cook it your fucking self." She growled, testing the weight of the skillet. It was nice and heavy.

She heard that small gasp escape her daughter's lips once more and it caused her to get even angrier. She felt Ed's hand grab hold of her upper arm.

"You crazy bitch. Time for you to relearn your place. You must have forgot," he hissed.

She spun around, wretching her arm out of his grasp and bringing the skillet up at the same time. There was a dull metalic sound as the bottom of the skillet connected with his face. She swung hard once more, hitting him square in the jaw this time instead of directly in the center of his face like her first swing had done.

He stumbled backwards, unable to regain his balance and then fell on his ass onto the tile. He shook his head like that would help him make sense of what had just happened to him.

_"__That's my girl. Watch your ass. He's pissed now. You know what to do."_

Daryl's voice echoed in her mind, cheering her on and it caused her to pause for a second. She was insane. She knew it. But she listened to that gruff voice in her mind and grabbed a knife from the drawer before Ed could stand up. She pressed the blade hard into the spot just under his chin, just like she had done, what felt like a thousand times, to walkers.

"I'm gonna say this one time. One. So you better listen real careful. You put your filthy hands on me again, I will kill you. I'll drive a knife so far into your skull so fast that you wont even see it coming. Do _not_. Touch. Me." She growled between clenched teeth as she pressed the tip into the soft flesh, causing him to whimper like a scared little girl.

She held the knife in place for a few more seconds and then backed away from him. Sophia had her back pressed against the wall, staring wide eyed at her parents. Ed dragged himself up off the floor and touched the spot under his chin. His jaw was swelling already and his nose was bleeding. His fingers came away slick with blood.

"You're crazy." He roared.

Carol rolled her eyes and turned her back to him. "Stop being dramatic, Ed. You've spent the last thirteen years beating the hell out of me. I'm not crazy, I'm tired of your shit. I've decided I'm not putting up with it anymore. Pack your crap and get out if you don't think you can handle it. You aren't scary anymore. You're nothing but an overgrown pussy."

She glanced over her shoulder as Ed and Sophia both gaped at her. She shrugged and turned back to the sink. She was tired now. She wasn't used to much physical activity. She walked to the phone and called in an order for a pizza to be delivered and smiled at her daughter who approached her cautiously. Ed slinked out of the kitchen wordlessly. She knew he would, she kept that knife close. A coward didn't want to fight someone that would fight them back.

She hung up the phone and then knelt down in front of Sophia, placing her hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye. "No more being afraid, okay?" She said quietly.

Sophia nodded. "I'm gonna go get washed up and get changed. It's gonna be good sleeping in my bed again," she said as she offered Carol a slight smile even though her eyes were still huge and she almost looked afraid. Carol sent up a silent prayer that the girl was afraid_ for_ her and not afraid_ of_ her.

Carol hugged her tightly, thinking she would never get enough of her daughter's sweet embrace. Not after going so long without it. She figured that she should stop thinking of it in those terms. To her she had lived without the little girl for over a year. In all reality it had been a few months and it had really been Sophia who had been living without her.

She let her go and then kissed her forehead lightly. She watched the girl scurry off towards her room. She had to stop this. She had to stop thinking of that strange time in her life as something that she actually lived through. It was crazy to think that way. And maybe, just maybe, it would finally help her get over the loss of all of them. To accept the fact that they just weren't real. She swallowed down the lump of emotion that was clogging her throat. She needed to stop grieving over the loss of people that weren't even real.

She straightened up the kitchen as she waited for the pizza. She was actually excited about this little treat. She hadn't eaten anything like that in... months. She had to mentally correct herself. It hadn't been over a year. It had been months.

She wiped her hands on a dishtowel and walked into the living room. Ed was sitting in his stupid chair. He still had blood drying under his nose. She held out her hand. "I need some money for the pizza." She said, making sure she kept her voice level.

His eyes slid up but didn't meet hers. "You're the one that wanted the damn pizza. You can pay for it." He looked back towards the television.

"I got it, mom." Sophia said as she hurried down the hall and pushed a twenty dollar bill into Carol's palm.

Carol glared at Ed but he ignored her. He shot Sophia a look but she wasn't going to get into another fight with him. She should have forced him to leave but for some reason she didn't tell him to pack his shit and go. Maybe it was because she had wanted him to be alive so he could see her be stronger. Wanted him to know what it was like to be with a woman that refused to stand there and stare at her feet while he humiliated her and beat her. She really wanted Ed to know who she was.

He was quiet now but she knew him well enough to know that what she had said and done earlier was festering inside him like a boil. He would lash out when she least expected it. Almost like a Walker. She needed to invest in some guns. She would do that for sure if she had any control over their bank account. Ed did all of that. She didn't have any access to any of it.

A swift knock at the door had her swinging her head around at the unexpected sound.

"Jumpy?" Ed asked with a smirk.

She shot him another dirty look and then went to get the door, so she could pay for a pizza with her twelve year old daughters money. She opened the door with a ready smile on her face but it fell and her eyes went impossibly large.

The boy that stood on the other side of the door was young, early twenties. He was looking down at the receipt but she knew what she was going to find when he looked up, which he did with a ready smile of his own. He was dark haired, dark eyed, and most definitely Korean, not Chinese.

His smile faded and he seemed to study her face closely. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but have we met before?" He asked as his eyes squinted further as he studied her face.

"Glenn?" She breathed, doing everything she could to hold back from throwing herself at this boy. Surely his name wasn't Glenn. That couldn't be possible.

"Yes, ma'am?" He said, seeming to be as confused as she felt.

Carol cleared her throat, hoping that she would be able to keep any tears at bay that may betray the surge of emotion she was feeling. He looked like the Glenn from the quarry. He didn't look very much like the Glenn she had left only a few weeks ago. This Glenn was still young. Still innocent. She shook her head. "I'm sorry. You must have delivered here before." She tried to smile once more.

He nodded, still looking troubled. "Yeah, that's probably it." He shook his own head and looked at the slip of paper in his hand once more as he balanced the pizza on his other hand. "That'll be twelve fifty." He smiled again and it looked as forced as hers felt.

She handed him the twenty and he handed her the box. He went to get her her change but she reached out and stilled his arm. She would settle with that small touch, even though she wished with all her heart that she could throw the box down and hug him. "Keep the change." She muttered instead.

His smile brightened and he nodded. "Thank you."

She didn't make a move to go back inside, choosing instead to stand there in the doorway like a moron and drink in his features. What did all of this mean? He wasn't making a move to leave either, studying her features with a frown.

"Mom, can we eat now? I'm starving." Sophia said as she poked her head out the door.

Glenn and Carol both seemed to snap out of it then.

"Well, you have a nice day. Thank you for the tip." He said as he turned and walked quickly down the sidewalk.

Carol followed Sophia into the kitchen and sat the pizza down on the small table. She grabbed them two plates and then sat down. Sophia watched her as she put a few slices on each plate. Her eyes were wide once more.

"Mom, aren't you going to fix daddy's plate?" Sophia asked.

Carol looked up and then took a bite of the cheesy treat and nearly rolled her eyes. She was still really troubled about seeing Glenn but after... being in a coma for so long, she had a new appreciation for food that you could actually taste. She was definitely thinking about getting fat. What must have happened was, Glenn had actually delivered a pizza to her house before and her subconscious had dredged him up somehow during her coma. She ignored the nagging voice in her head that told her that pizza delivery boys didn't introduce themselves to their customers. So how had she known his name? She chewed her food slowly as she pondered that question and then decided to stow it back to think about later.

"Mom?" Sophia asked again as she watched Carol eat.

"What?" Carol asked around a mouth full of food, something she used to detest but she had picked up the horrible habit from Daryl and it was going to be one of many that would be hard to break. If she bothered breaking it at all.

Sophia watched her and then glanced back towards the living room. "I asked if you were going to bring daddy some food."

She shook her head. "Ed has legs."

"I'm afraid of what he's going to end up doing to you for what you did." Sophia whispered.

Carol glared towards the living room and then her eyes met Sophia's from across the small table. "He won't do a damn thing." She looked up as Ed entered the kitchen. "You're father is a self loathing bully. Do you know what you are suppose to do about bullies?" She asked the girl as Ed stopped in his tracks and glared at her.

Sophia looked up at Ed fearfully and then Carol had her by the chin, turning her head gently until the little girl met her eyes.

"You beat the crap out of them and show them you aren't going to take their shit. Do you understand?" Carol said in a quiet voice.

Ed stood there the entire time Carol and Sophia ate their dinner. Sophia looked scared again, which really made Carol angry now. "Ignore him. Eat your food."

"You're going back to the hospital. You've lost your goddamn mind." Ed said as he stood in front of them, clenching his fists.

Carol brushed crumbs off her hands onto her plate and then cleared her throat before looking up at him. Looking at him made her feel so sick. He was disgusting. She let it show on her face, feeling no reason to hide it. "Why is that, Ed? Because I am going to refuse to take any beatings from you anymore?" She shook her head, feeling even more disgusted. "You know what, just pack your shit and get the hell out. I thought I could do this for a little while, just to show you how it feels but honestly the thought of breathing the same air as you makes me nauseated. You're a pig."

He gaped at her. "This is my house." He slammed both of his hands down flat on the table and glared at her. "You leave." he hissed.

Sophia looked terrified. She suddenly recalled the look on her face the day those Walkers came after her on the highway. Ed was a threat to her. "Go clean the blood off your ugly face, pack your shit and get out. Now." She said evenly, refusing to flinch away from his angry stare.

He stood there, leaning on his hands that were still flat on the table.

"Sophia, go to your room for a few minutes honey. I'll come and get you when I'm done." She never took her eyes off of Ed's.

Sophia didn't argue. She bolted from the room as fast as she could. Carol didn't speak until she heard her daughter slam her bedroom door shut.

"I wasn't kidding, Ed. Get your shit and go." She snapped as she stood up from the chair.

He straightened up also, raising up to his full height to stand in front of her, trying to force her to cower. Carol had faced down bigger men that weren't alive that were trying to chew her face off. She wasn't afraid of Ed Peletier. Not anymore.

"And who do you think would want a washed up hag like you, huh? You think any man is gonna bother with you?" He sneered. "Just a lazy whore? Nobody."

She smiled. "Not very long ago I had sex with a guy named Daryl. He had me seeing double. He was this gorgeous, hard muscled redneck guy I met. And from what I could tell, he enjoyed it just fine. That's the kind of man that would want a washed up hag like me. Now go."

Ed was pretty startled. "You had an affair?" He blinked stupidly.

"Not really. I just imagined that you were dead so technically, in my own mind, I was a widow." She gave him a dry smile. "Get out, or I'll call the cops and swear to them you threatened to kill me. With your track record, they would believe me over you."

He stood there for a little while longer, still hoping she would back down but she refused. That wasn't happening again. Ever. "You're gonna regret this." He took a step back, keeping an eye on her. It seemed as though he may have been a little worried that she would do something to him while his back was turned to her. Good. He needed to know what that felt like.

"I really do hope you try, Ed. I really do." She said as she sat back down.


	7. New Boots and a Gun

**I was going to wait and post this tomorrow but vickih offered me cookies so I thought I'd go ahead and post now since the chapter just needed a few things to make it postable. I just made that word up. I'm glad most of you were okay with how Carol is handling things. I know that she was rougher than she normally would have been with Sophia but the truth is, if Sophia hadn't been so eager to get to her mother that day maybe she wouldn't have slipped out from under that car and gotten herself bitten. Those are the kind of thoughts that Carol's lived with for a year. Wondering what she could have done differently to have avoided her daughter's death. So in this story she stops with the coddling and starts with the tough love. Because now she has a chance to stop everything bad. There are more familiar faces on the way and we are closer to what you are all waiting for. I'm really excited for you to read that part. Thank you all for reading and I really appreciate all of your feedback! Much love to you all! **

**New Boots and a Gun**

Chapter Seven

Carol sat in the relative silence for a few minutes before she got out of her car to head into Sophia's school. Her car had been totaled in the accident but the insurance covered it and now she was the proud owner of a slightly used SUV.

She had a meeting with her attorney earlier that afternoon and she was still dumbstruck. She still couldn't believe what he had told her. She had money. She had a lot of money. It had been a utility company truck that had hit her and the driver had been under the influence of prescription drugs that he had no prescription for. There was no way the case could be disputed. Everything had moved quickly.

She had been struggling to feed Sophia all week since Ed had left. It wasn't too hard to provide for the girl though. She had put in job applications at a lot of different places and she was hoping one would call her soon. She didn't think she had to worry about all of that anymore though. Not after that meeting earlier.

She looked at herself in the rearview mirror and couldn't help but smile a little. She was wearing makeup. Ed had never let her wear it before and it made her feel like a real rebel to be defying him. Of course, forcing him out of their house after she hit him like she had had made her feel good also. But this was kind of like the icing on the cake.

She got out of the car and was heading towards the doors when she heard footsteps behind her. She had been picking Sophia up from school since Ed had left since she could never be sure that he wouldn't come after Sophia to get back at her. She spun around quickly.

Lori Grimes.

Carol took a few steps back and her hand went to her mouth. The last time she had seen Lori she had been grotesquely swollen. She had been in the last few weeks of her pregnancy. The pregnancy that had killed her. It seemed like she hadn't seen her in ages. She tried hard to blink back the tears, it worked for the most part, but she still stood there misty eyed in front of a woman who most likely had no idea who she was.

Lori stopped, a frown coming down between her eyes. She stared at Carol for a few long seconds and then shook her head. "I'm so sorry but for a second there I could have sworn that I knew you from somewhere." Lori smiled and offered Carol her hand just to break the awkwardness of the moment. "I'm Lori. Lori Grimes."

Carol took in a steadying breath and smiled herself as she shook Lori's hand. "I'm Carol. Carol Peletier. I felt the same way. Like I knew you from somewhere."

"Peletier?" Realization shone in Lori's eyes. "You're Sophia's mama. Her and my son are good friends. My husband was the first on the scene when you had that horrible accident."

"Carl. Is that your son?" Carol asked, already knowing the answer.

Lori nodded. "Yes, that's him. Sophia must talk about him as much as he talks about her." The smile that lit up Lori's face almost had Carol's breath catching.

Sophia had never mentioned Carl before but she couldn't tell Lori that. "All the time," Carol lied smoothly as she smiled back.

The two of them walked towards the doors leading into the school. "I was going to take Carl out for ice cream. Would you and Sophia like to come along. Carl would love to be able to hang out with someone other than his mom. He's getting to be that age where I'm not the coolest person to be around all the time," Lori laughed.

Carol saw an opportunity then. She knew it wasn't right to feed that strange thing that had happened to her in her coma but she couldn't pass up the opportunity. Those people in that world were here now. She saw an opportunity to have them back in a strange way. "I'd love that," She said with a watery smile.

Unsurprising to Carol she saw Sophia and Carl walking together. When Sophia saw her she grinned. Carol could hardly take her eyes off of Carl. He too looked exactly like he had looked when they had all met on the road before the quarry. There was not a hint of the haunted boy she had left at the prison that night. The night he had told her to tell Sophia hi for him.

"Carl, this is my mom." Sophia said happily when they finally approached her and Lori.

Carl frowned up at her as she watched him. He studied her for a long moment. "Nice to meet you," he smiled uncertainly.

Carol shook her head forcing that smile to stay on her lips. She was proud of herself for being able to hold her emotions in check. How many more of them were out there? Rick and Shane for sure. What about Andrea? Amy? Dale? God, she could have all of them if she could just find them.

She couldn't help but think about Daryl's words. He had told her not to forget. He told her that she needed to remember. And then he said something else. Something that was right there at the edge of her consciousness but she couldn't quite grasp it.

Carol let Sophia ride with Lori and Carl while she followed. She scanned the sidewalks for anyone else that may look familiar to her but she didn't see anyone. Not anyone she recognized. She pulled in beside Lori and met them at Lori's car.

They stayed in the booth long after their ice cream was gone as she urged Lori to talk. Lori seemed to be so happy. Happier than she had ever seen her at the quarry. Other than when Rick had made it to them, but even that happiness had been tainted with betrayal. This woman was much different from the one she had grown to know and love.

She rambled on about her husband, causing Carol to force tears back. She remembered how desperately Rick had clung to her when he found out she was leaving the prison. Her brother. A stranger that she fiercely loved. Why did things have to be so confusing?

"Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow night?" Lori asked when they were finally getting ready to leave. "Rick is taking the night off and his best friend will be there. I think you might like him." She winked.

"Shane?" Carol asked without thinking.

Lori blinked. "Yes, Shane Walsh. Do you know him?"

Carol realized her mistake. "I think you mentioned him."

Carol had mixed feelings when it came to Shane. He had been kind to her from the very beginning. He had tried to protect her from Ed at the quarry. He had tried to comfort her on the farm after Sophia had stumbled out of the barn. He had done horrible things. Rotten selfish things. But he had always seemed to go out of his way to treat her well. Shane was a victim of circumstance. He was in love with Lori, probably had been long before the quarry, and that was what happened to Shane Walsh. She had never really blamed Lori for what had happened. Lori was just as much a victim as Shane had been.

"Carol?" Lori asked, jerking her out of her reverie.

"I'd love too." She said quickly, not even giving herself time to think about it.

"Mom, can Sophia sleep over?" Carl asked as he looked up from where him and Sophia had been sitting with there heads together. "She can have my room and I'll take the sofa." His face was so hopeful.

Lori looked over at her. "I don't know what your rules are for boy/girl sleepovers. But I'll keep an eye on them, if you would like a night to yourself. We'd love having her."

Carol glanced at Sophia, hope clear on the girl's face. She instantly got nervous at the thought of her little girl not being home all night. But then again Sophia shouldn't have to suffer for her own insecurities. She wasn't worried at all about the two trying anything sneaky. They had spent almost all of their time together at the quarry.

"I don't see a problem with it. As long as you're sure Rick won't mind," Carol said, her voice not letting any of her nervousness show.

Lori and both children beamed. This was okay. Sophia would be with Rick and she would be safe. No walkers. No Governor. Nothing crazy going on. Besides, with Ed still out on the prowl Sophia was probably a lot safer with the Grimes family than she was in her own home at the moment.

"I'm so glad to have run into you today," Lori said right before she climbed into her car with the kids.

"Me too. You have no idea. I'll pack Sophia an overnight bag and drop it off in a few hours," Carol called before she got into her own car.

She waited for Lori to pull out and wave as her and kids took off down the street. That whole encounter had been very emotional and Carol needed a few moments to just feel it all for a second. First Glenn and now Lori and Carl? This had to mean something. Lori and Rick were married. Shane was Rick's best friend. She was sure if she had had a chance to talk to Glenn she would already know all about him. Everything that happened to her while she was in a coma was surely a horrible nightmare that her subconscious had created. But the people were real. Their histories and personalities were real. She already knew them. But she knew she had never met them before. Why now?

She put the car in reverse and was about to back out into the street when she had to slam on the breaks. Someone hurried from around the side of the building and was now walking right behind her car.

She could have ran the guy over! She needed to focus. She needed to go home and really think about the things that were going on. She didn't speed but she did get home as fast as she could. This wasn't a coincidence. This was something else. She felt a ball of dread settle in her chest.

When she pulled up into her driveway she cursed out loud. Ed was sitting on the porch. He looked up when he heard the car door slam. She stormed towards him, eyes flashing daggers at the man that she loathed to the core.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

He didn't look angry at her tone. "We need to talk," he said in a level voice.

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared. "We've talked enough. I don't have anything left to say to you, Ed. You made your bed, lay in it."

"I came here to tell you that I'm sorry. I plan on changing, but you have to give me a chance."

She wanted to snarl at him. She wanted to put her boot in his face. Well, until she realized she wasn't wearing boots today. "I don't need to hear that you're sorry Ed. There shouldn't be so much for you to be sorry for. You beat the hell out of me. You tormented my daughter. You made me miserable. But you were right."

He looked down. "Right about what?" he asked in a pathetic voice.

"Every single time you called me a _stupid_ whore. A _stupid _bitch. It was true. You were right because it would take one raging idiot of a person to put up with everything you dished out. But I'm not a stupid whore anymore. I'm not a stupid bitch anymore. You make me sick and you need to stay away from me. I'm not gonna listen to anything you have to say."

He stood up, attempting to look intimidating. She met his eyes unflinchingly. "Where is Sophia?" he asked.

"Spending the night with a friend," she snapped. "Not that it's any of your business." She went to open the door but he grabbed her by the wrists, squeezing painfully.

She reached up and clawed his face as she yanked her wrist out of his grip. He shoved her back against the door and then turned and lumbered down the steps, holding his face where her nails had dug into his skin.

She kept her back pressed into the door as she watched him go. She imagined shooting him right in the back of the head. She didn't go back inside until she saw him round the corner, where he must have parked his car. She locked the deadbolt and then checked the windows throughout the house quickly. She took the gun out of her purse and sat it on the coffee table, staring at it angrily.

This was the first gun she had ever even touched. Physically. She had touched plenty in her head. While she slept for all those weeks. So if she had never, not once in her life, touched a gun, how did she know exactly how to take the damn thing apart to clean it? Which is what she had done as soon as she had gotten home with it.

That dread was still there, dense and oppressing. This all had to mean something. Daryl had told her not to forget. She needed to remember exactly what he had said to her.

"They're comin'," she gasped as the words left her lips. She shot up off the couch and rushed to the door, her heart racing and her palms growing sweaty. "He said they were comin' and I needed to remember it," she said to the empty room. She flung the door open and stepped out onto the porch, looking up and down the street. Everything seemed to be normal. But nothing was. Walkers were coming. That nightmare world would be coming to life. She knew it as a certainty. If there was one thing she knew for certain it was that Daryl wouldn't have lied to her. He had warned her. Or her mind had warned her. She didn't understand it but that didn't matter. What mattered was that she didn't ignore this. His warning was a gift. She would trust him like she had always trusted him.

She went back inside, locking the door behind her once more and leaning her back against it as she focused on her breathing. How was she going to warn her group? This wasn't something that they would take seriously. She would be lucky if they didn't try to have her committed, leaving Sophia alone once more with Ed. An angry Ed, who would want to take revenge for the things that she had done.

But how could she not? How could she let history repeat itself, so to speak. She hadn't been dreaming of the apocalypse. It had been a warning. Some sort of trauma induced psychic vision. But she had flourished there. She could protect all of them. She just didn't know how to do it.

The phone rang, causing her to jump, her hand going to her throat. She hurried to answer it.

"Hi, mom," Sophia's happy voice said into her ear, soothing her nerves for a second.

She tried to keep her voice steady. "Hi, honey. You miss me yet?" The smile on her face was genuine.

"I do. But not enough to want to come home. I was going to ask you if you can bring my battleship game with you when you brought my clothes and stuff."

"Sure. I'll see you in a little while." She said quietly.

"Be careful, okay?" Sophia asked, her tone bordering on nervousness herself.

"I will, but is everything okay?" she frowned.

"I'm fine. I just..." Sophia's voice trailed off.

"Sophia, what's wrong?" Carol could feel panic setting in.

"I just feel weird. I don't know how to explain it. You know how you feel right before you have to take a test that you know you haven't studied for? I kind of feel like that but there isn't really any reason for it. I felt like that the day that truck hit you. Before we even knew what was going on."

"Everything is going to be fine. Alright? You don't have to worry about anything. I know the feeling. But there isn't any reason for it. You have fun and I'll be there in a few hours."

"Okay. I love you, mom."

"I love you too."

She hung up the phone and grabbed the gun on the table. Checking and then double checking to make sure it was loaded. Just like Daryl and Rick had taught her to do. She changed into a pair of the jeans she had bought herself earlier. Once she realized how much money she had at her fingertips she had, in typical woman fashion, went shopping for new clothes. Everything she owned belonged to a dead woman. A dead woman that wore what her husband told her to wear. She needed a change.

She pulled a black tank top over her head and then, instead of shoving the gun back in her purse she actually stuffed it into the back of her pants. She instantly felt better with the cold steel pressed against her skin. She grabbed a sleeveless button down shirt that was a few sizes too big and put that on over the tank top. Hopefully it hid the slight bulge where the gun lay. She opened up the shoebox that was lying on her bed and smirked at the small black combat boots nestled in the tissue paper there. She had bought them on impulse. Knowing how important it was to have good strong boots when you might need to bolt from a herd. She had scoffed at herself earlier. Now these boots, strangely enough, represented the Carol now. She kicked off her simple white keds and tossed them in the waste basket.

After lacing up the boots she stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. She steadied herself with a deep breath. This was going to be the start of a whole new Carol. She was going to find the rest of her group. She was going to start preparing for what she knew was coming. And tonight she was going on a mission. She was determined now because she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he knew something too. Tonight she was going to find Daryl Dixon. She just had to prepare herself to face the person she had first encountered at the quarry and not the man that she loved. It was going to be a hell of an emotional journey.


	8. Running Scared

**You temptresses with your baked goods ;) I couldn't resist. I love this chapter so I really hope you love it too. My fingers are crossed. Thank you all for reading! =)**

**Running Scared**

Chapter Eight

She gathered up the things that Sophia would need and reminded herself to grab the Battleship game that she had asked for. It was actually exciting that Sophia had found such a good friend in Carl. Now maybe, since she was damn sure Sophia was going to survive once the walkers came, Sophia could keep Carl grounded so he wouldn't turn into that boy she had left behind at the prison. Sophia was the turning point for him on the farm. Sophia coming out of the barn that day was when he started sliding down. That wouldn't happen this time. This time she was going to make sure that him and Sophia both were prepared.

And he wouldn't have to put his own mother down the way he had done. There would be no Judith. She was going to make sure of that even if that thought did hurt. Things were going to go a whole new direction. If only she could find the others. She could save them all. Her whole group could survive, even flourish.

She glanced at herself in the mirror one more time before heading out the door. She wasn't sure where to go looking for the Dixons but she had a vague idea. She at least had a starting point. From stories he had shared with her over those last few months, when he had really started opening up to her, she was pretty sure she actually knew where they lived but she couldn't very well just drive to their house. Especially since she knew the Daryl that she was going to end up seeing would have no clue who she was. She wasn't sure how she was going to do this. How would she approach him? How would she tell him any of this? She wouldn't, she decided as she backed out of her driveway. She would become his friend just like she had before. She refused to think about how long it had taken her to become his friend to begin with. It would be different now. She knew him. She knew him better than anyone else did. Even better than his own brother.

When she pulled into the driveway of the Grimes' home she took a few slow deep breaths. There was a cruiser in the driveway. Rick was home. She grabbed some of Sophia's things from the passenger seat and headed towards the front door. She reached back to make sure the gun was in place. She started to think that maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to do, walk into a policeman's home with a very loaded gun shoved down your pants. It seemed such a strange thing to be concerned about considering the life she had lived... in her mind.

Before she could even knock on the door it opened up. Rick had a ready smile on his face that vanished as he studied her. He pulled the door shut and then took a step towards her, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studied her. He shook his head.

She couldn't even breath. He looked so different. Young and hopeful. He did something very unexpected. He pulled her to him and hugged her just like he had done the night she was going to leave them. She dropped everything right there on the porch and hugged him back with just as much force. It was the most comfortable she had been since leaving the hospital.

He pulled away from her abruptly and stared at her with wide eyes that were more clear than she had seen them in a long time. "I'm so sorry. I..." He trailed off as he bent down to pick up all of the things she had dropped. "I didn't mean too..."

"It's fine, Rick." She said as she touched his arm.

He shook his head again. "I don't know how to say this but... I feel like..."

"I feel the same way." She smiled and finally he seemed to relax.

He led her into the house where she was met by Carl and Sophia. She couldn't help but smile at the excitement in Sophia's eyes. It beat the fear that she was used to seeing there. Lori must have been in the kitchen.

"Did you bring everything?" Sophia asked, joy lacing her voice and causing Carol to grin.

"I did." She handed her the overnight bag. "Why don't the two of you go on out and get the rest. I only have so many arms."

They hurried around her and were out the door, leaving her and Rick standing awkwardly in the living room after their strange show of affection. He cleared his throat.

"You look amazing compared to last time I saw you," he said as he put his hands on his hips. "I wasn't sure if you were gonna make it. I went to visit a few times and when they said they were just waiting for you to wake up I stopped coming around."

"I must have been a real mess," she said as she sat down in a chair next to the door.

He sat on the edge of the sofa, knees angled towards her. There was only a few feet separating them and she had the overwhelming urge to hug him again. Just to sit there on the couch and touch him as much as she could before she had to leave. Instead she met his eyes and held them, not saying a word.

"Oh, hello, Carol," Lori breezed in, wiping her hands on a dish towel and smiling brightly.

Carol held her breath for a second and then waved sheepishly. She would never get over seeing her friend alive and well. She was radiant.

"Rick, why didn't you tell me she was here?" Lori scolded, smacking Rick in the side of the head with the towel in her hands.

He chuckled. "I was about to. Thought you were busy."

Carl and Sophia ran in then, laughing about something. The sound was something Carol couldn't get enough of. She watched as they hurried out of the room.

"Don't worry about anything. We'll keep an eye on them." Rick winked.

"I know she's safe with you," Carol said as her eyes slid back to his.

When he looked at her he swallowed hard and something that looked like pain flashed across his face. He nodded as his smile faded and he turned his head towards where the two kids disappeared. Carol froze. Why would those words cause him to look like that? He was the one that had went after Sophia in the woods that day. He was the one that had found her and he was the one that had left her hiding while he tried to lure the walkers away from her. But those were her memories, right? Not his.

"Do the two of you know any of the Dixons?" She asked suddenly.

Lori and Rick shared a look before glancing back at her. Both of them looked concerned. Rick was the one that finally spoke. "I haven't met either of them personally. There's two of them. The older brother has a rap sheet that stretches from here to the driveway. The younger one has been arrested a few times for fighting and things like that."

"Why do you want to know about the Dixons?" Lori asked as she sat down next to her husband.

Carol looked down at her hands that were starting to shake in her lap. She clasped them together. "I knew them. I was thinking about getting back in touch with them."

When she looked up they were both staring at her like she had lost her mind. "They spend a lot of time at Kellie's as far as I know."

"Who's Kellie?" Carol asked.

Rick finally smiled. "It's a bar on the south side of town. That's where the older brother..."

"Merle?" Carol said suddenly, cutting him off.

"Yeah, Merle, that's where a lot of his arrests have taken place."

"And... Daryl?" She almost couldn't spit his name out of her mouth.

Rick nodded. "From what I hear he's always with his brother. As far as I know he tries to keep him out of trouble but it doesn't work. In the end it just gets _him_ in trouble but he'd be with him, I'm sure."

She nodded. "I better go then. I have a few things to take care of."

Rick and Lori both stood with her. Lori called for Sophia before she turned back to Carol, "Don't forget about tomorrow, okay."

Carol had to think about what it was Lori was talking about and then she remembered that she had been invited over. "Wouldn't miss it."

She hugged Sophia goodbye and made sure the girl knew that if she wanted to come home, it didn't matter what time it was, to just call her. When she turned back to Rick she still had that overwhelming urge to throw herself into his arms. If it was this bad with Rick how was it going to be when she saw Daryl? She was in for an extremely rough night.

She made her way back to her car and decided on the spot that she was going to that bar. She needed to meet and establish a relationship with her entire group and she was going to keep their asses alive this time. She could do this. She was strong enough now.

She backed out of the driveway and headed towards the south side of town.

~H~

Daryl followed Merle into the bar, feeling like it was going to be a bad night. Another bad night. It was to the point where he had to drink himself into oblivion before he could get a good night's sleep. He was tired. The last two nights were the worst. His dreams were driving him crazy.

"What'cha got them panties in a bunch for, Darylena?" Merle sneered as they sat down at the bar. Neither of them had to say anything to the woman behind the bar. She sat two shots of Wild Turkey in front of them and then went to get their beers.

Daryl grimaced into his whiskey before downing it. The familiar flame slid easily down his throat and he sat the glass back down.

"Heard ya tossin' and turnin' all night. Ya still gittin' them night terrors, baby brother?" Merle chuckled and downed his own shot. He nodded to the bartender when she pushed their mugs towards them.

Daryl took a few long drinks to put out the fire the whiskey had left in it's wake. He hated that Merle knew about those fucking dreams. The thing was, they weren't just dreams. They were something else. Everything was real and vivid. Everything he touched was solid and fucking _there_. He dreamed about the dead walking around eating people. And he dreamed about a group of people that, for reasons he couldn't understand, he cared about. A lot.

"Who the fuck's Carol?" Merle asked suddenly, turning in his seat so he was facing his younger brother.

Daryl, caught completely off guard, sprayed out a mouthful of beer all over the bar. "Fuck, Merle." He grumbled as he grabbed a napkin and started cleaning up the mess he'd made.

Merle grabbed his wrist, stilling his hand. "Ain't your job to clean the fuckin' bar. Leave it." He demanded.

Daryl jerked his hand away from Merle's grip but he dropped the napkin. Merle was right. That was one of the things these assholes got paid to do.

"Well?" Merle pressed. "Who's Carol?"

Who was Carol? He had no fucking idea. All he knew was that he'd fucked her the night before. Well, he'd dreamed he had anyway. He met her at a quarry. She was one of the most important people in the world to him. And she wasn't real. That's what he knew. Son of a bitch. He was losing his mind and Merle knew it. He knew the woman in his head wasn't real but when he dreamed, she was very real. He knew her. He knew she'd lost her daughter and in a way it had been his fault. He knew that she had put up with all sorts of shit from him and he knew that he'd kill anything that tried to hurt her. But she wasn't real. He was going fucking crazy.

"She ain't nobody," Daryl said as he took a large gulp.

He felt Merle's eyes drilling holes into his face but he kept his eyes on the beer. "Who's Rick?"

Daryl turned his head and glared at him. "How bout you stop with all the fuckin' questions. Jesus, Merle."

"I'm just curious, little brother. You been havin' all them fucked up dreams and then last night you start mumblin' bout some woman. Don'tcha think I gotta right to know what you're up too?" Merle took a few drinks before continuing, "And last night wasn't the only time you said her name either."

Daryl stood up. "I gotta take a piss," he said as he walked away. The truth was he just needed to get the hell away from Merle's knowing look. Last night's dream had been the worst. Well, and the best. He remembered everything about her. The way she felt under his hands, hands unlike his now. Those hands had been sure, knowing exactly what to do to her. He'd kissed her. He'd known exactly how to kiss her. And then he'd...

He remembered that he was losing her to something but he couldn't remember to what exactly. He had just known that he wanted to keep her there. The rest of the group tried to force him to let her go but he still didn't know why. He knew that the dream from last night had been the worst because after he had walked her through the trees, trying desperately to hang on to her, she had left him anyway. He'd tried everything and he had lost her anyway. Most of the memories were clear. When he had first started dreaming about all those people everything had been like real life. But the last few he had had weren't as clear. He would find himself saying things to her that didn't make any sense, even to him. All he knew was that he had tried like hell, tried as hard as he could to keep her with him and he had failed. But maybe since she was gone now, he wouldn't have to worry about the dreams anymore. The thought of dreaming about that desolate world without her made his head pound.

He shoved through the bathroom door and locked it behind him. He leaned against the dirty sink, bracing himself on his arms as he took deep breaths to try to calm the pounding of his heart. When he glanced up his eyes were wide, his face flushed. He had even had sex with her to keep her with him. He had made her promise to stay with him. He had been desperate. He had wanted her to stay but he had also simply wanted _her._ In the dream he had hoped that if he did it, if he finally just threw caution to the wind and let himself really be with her that it would stop her from leaving him.

And now he couldn't stop thinking about it. The way she felt under his hands and the way her skin tasted. He knew exactly what it felt like inside...

He pushed himself away from the sink, took a few steps back and then felt the cool tiled wall behind him. He ran a hand through his hair and then remembered her pushing his hair back out of his face. But his hair wasn't in his face. His hair was way shorter than that.

He went back to the sink and turned on the cold water, splashing his face a few times and then looking back at his reflection. "She ain't real, dumb ass." He growled. "None of'em are. Not the people. Not the walkers. Not the prison. None of it is real. Forty fuckin' years old and ya get spooked over a wet dream. Jesus, get yourself together."

He splashed his face one more time and then gave himself a few more moments to gather his thoughts before going back out into the bar. It was about to get pretty packed. It was packed every night. He hoped Merle saved his seat.

Sure enough when he came out of the bathroom there was a shit ton of people to try to pass through before he could get back to the bar. It looked like he would be standing all night while he got drunk. He stepped out from behind some big guy and ran smack into someone, hard. He reflexively reached out to steady whoever it was. Then he froze as his hand slid around a familiar waist and stared into a pair of shocked blue eyes.

He didn't move his hand away, even though she wasn't in any danger of falling anymore. The dream from the night before flitted through his brain. The loud music seemed to grow quieter in his mind as he stared at her. Her mouth was partially opened, the blue of her eyes familiar and comforting, even the gun that his hand had grazed that was stuffed into the waistband of her pants was familiar. He'd felt all of this before. She was there, right there in front of him. She looked like she was about to say something but no words came out. All he could think about was kissing her and then asking her where the fuck she had been. But he didn't do any of that. It wouldn't have made any sense to do any of that. He stood there, silent.

He wasn't sure how much time had past before the music once again became clear in his head and he was just realizing that he had pulled her dangerously close to him, the hand that wasn't pressed against her back was now resting on her hip. This couldn't be happening. This was too fucked up and it was some sort of hallucination or something. Somehow he knew Merle was watching the whole fucking thing. He was about to pull away when he glanced behind her shoulder. Coming towards her, face a mask of anger, was Ed Peletier.

He shoved her behind him, and nearly dove on the man. If Ed wanted to fight someone he could fight him. He wasn't going to lay a fucking hand on her. Not again. He heard the satisfying sound of Ed's nose crunch under his knuckles and then he dragged the man to the ground, reigning blows, not stopping until he felt a hand on his back. Her hand.

What the fuck was happening?

"Daryl, stop. You're going to get yourself arrested and his sorry ass isn't worth it." She whispered, close to his ear.

He sprang up and away from her. He didn't want her to touch him, simply because he longed for the touch. He needed to get away from her because the only thing he could think about doing was being as close to her as he could get. He didn't want to hear her say his name again because when she did all he wanted to do was hear her say it some more.

He ran.

He turned and shoved his way past the people and headed for the back door. His heart hammering, palms sweating, breath exploding from his lungs in loud angry pants. As soon as he was outside he bolted down the alley, no real destination in mind. He just knew he had to get the fuck away from the bar. Away from Merle's knowing eyes and away from_ her_. How could this be happening?

He slowed down and then stopped in the middle of the alley, quite a few blocks from the back entrance to the bar. He bent down, bracing his hands on his knees as he gasped for breath. It wasn't just her. Maybe he could deal with it if it was just her. Find a way to accept it. But with her came many other things that he didn't want to think about. Merle's hand. The walkers. Sophia... If Carol was real then what did that mean? And he could see it in her face that she knew something. She knew _him_. But how? How could something this fucked up happen to some dumb white trash redneck? This was some creepy shit. Really creepy shit.

~H~

Merle knew something was going on but he didn't know what. Him and his brother spent damn near all of their time together. They had for the last few years anyway. He knew Daryl hadn't met anyone new. He damn sure knew he hadn't found himself a woman. There wasn't any way he could have. But then there it was. Right in front of Merle's eyes.

He'd seen the woman make her way towards the bathrooms. He'd actually been admiring her ass a bit. Then he'd seen Daryl slam into her as he made his way past the crowd. Daryl had reached out to steady her and then... fucking fireworks. He'd bout spit out his own beer when Daryl, Daryl Dixon, awkward, fit throwing, personal space needing Daryl, Merle's very own baby brother, wrapped his goddamn arm around her and actually pulled her closer.

Fuck spitting out his beer, Merle had just about hit the floor then. So many different things flitted across the boy's face in those first few seconds. Shock at first, then when that wore off he put his hand right there on the woman's hip, damn near on her ass, and Merle saw it. Want. Raw and very real right there on Daryl's face. And then confusion.

He'd looked like he wasn't sure what the fuck was happening. And then fear. His eyes had widened and the color drained from his face and he was scared. Scared to death. And then that pudgy asshole started walking towards them. When Daryl had seen him over the woman's shoulder that fear turned into something else that Merle hadn't ever seen before. Blind fucking rage. He'd pushed the woman behind him and flat out attacked. Hell, Merle was proud of that. But Daryl wasn't going to stop, that was clear, but before Merle could even get up to keep his brother from killing a man, that woman had touched him and then it was over. She whispered something in his ear and then he was gone.

He wasn't going to go after his brother. He knew how Daryl was. No, Merle was going to wait right there. The woman watched him go, her face unreadable. She glared down at the guy Daryl had beat up and then stepped right over him and headed towards the bar, glancing often in the direction his brother had gone.

When she finally looked up she met his eyes and for some reason a flash of recognition ran through him. Had he met this woman before, after all? He knew that he knew her but he couldn't place her anywhere. She paused and then took a deep breath before approaching him. He was turned all the way around on his stool with his back leaning against the bar, his arms crossed in front of him.

She stopped in front of him and mocked him, crossing her arms over her chest.

He figured he would go out on a limb here. "Hello, Carol." He said and then felt himself smirk when she literally jerked in shock. He nodded. "I thought so."

"Hello Merle." She said quietly, keeping her blue eyes glued to his.

"I believe you and me need to go some place a little more quiet, little lady. We got ourselves some talkin' to do."

She nodded and then let him lead her through the throngs of people and out the back. When the door shut behind him he turned to her and crossed his arms over his chest once more, looking down at her expectantly.

"How do you know me?" She asked.

His eyes flicked up over her shoulder but he didn't see his brother anywhere. "Ain't me that knows ya."

"What?" She asked, frowning.

He shook his head. "My brother..." How much should he tell this woman? Should he sell his brother out like that? He wasn't sure what else to do at the moment and the little son of a bitch took off so he had to make a decision for himself. "My brother says your name sometimes. In his sleep. He's been havin' these real fucked up dreams here lately. Now, you gonna tell me how you two know each other?"

She glanced behind her, down the dark alley and then back up to him. "I don't think you'd believe me if I told you." She whispered.

He leaned down closer. "Try me." And he meant it. He was worried about his brother. He'd been acting really weird lately, even for him, and he wanted to know why. It wasn't like Daryl was going to tell him a damn thing. So he'd listen to this little thing that seemed to have such a monumental impact on Daryl.

She chewed on her lip for a few seconds and then blew out a heavy breath. "I don't think he's dreaming, Merle."

He frowned. "That's the second time you've used my name. I don't recall tellin' it."

She shook her head. "He isn't dreaming. He's seeing..."

He waited but she just looked away and wrapped her arms around herself. "Spit it out. If ya know whats goin' on with my brother then ya best be tellin' me."

"Something bad is coming. I've seen it and so has he, apparently. It's how I knew your name. It's the reason he reacted the way he did when he saw me in there."

He stared at her, unable to keep the scorn off his face. Was this chick for real? How fuckin' stupid did she think he was?

"I want you to take me home with you. I'll explain. You_ know_ Daryl. You'll know I'm telling the truth."

He didn't answer for quite a while but finally he nodded. What the hell right? If anything this would at least be something more interesting than sitting in the bar all night. So he shrugged and led her around the bar.

"You ever ridden on the back of a bike, darlin'?"

"You brought your Triumph?" She asked.

He looked at her over his shoulder. "Yep. We either take the bike or my brother's truck and I ain't leavin' my bike here."

She climbed on the back of the bike and waited for him to get on in front of her. She didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his waist when he brought the thing to life. He took off faster than he should have but that was alright. She really did seem to be familiar with a bike. That didn't mean shit though. He wasn't the only person in the world that had a motorcycle.


	9. Looney Birds

**This is another chapter I've been a little nervous about. I hope you enjoy it. I hope it isn't too far fetched, although this entire story is a bit far fetched XD There is a bit of inner dialogue to explain the situation better. Hopefully it helps you understand what is going through Daryl's head. Well, I'm going to shut up and hand over the chapter now! Thank you all so much for reading and letting me know what you think!**

**Looney Birds**

Chapter Nine

The house was exactly how he had described. It was small and worn with a sagging roof. The yard was overgrown and the small front porch drooped depressingly. The woods behind the house came right to their back door the way he had described. She climbed off the bike before Merle did and looked around the dark yard.

"When do you think he'll be back?" She asked.

He shrugged and climbed off the bike. He walked to the house wordlessly and she followed on his heels. The wooden porch creaked under her boots as he led her into the house. He turned on a lamp next to an outdated sofa and then turned to her. "You ready to elaborate?" He asked.

"I think we should wait for him to get here." She said quietly as she glanced around the small living room. No family photos adorned the walls but she had expected as much.

"He ain't gonna listen to a word you say. From the look on his face as soon as he comes in here and sees you, he's gonna head straight..."

"To the woods," she finished for him, still looking around. She was nervous. She hadn't known how she was going to react to seeing him. She hadn't even expected to find him there. Not really. And she had decided that if she had found him at the bar that she would end up spending weeks stalking him, trying to figure out a way to talk to him, knowing how he would be.

But then he had slammed right into her, coming out of nowhere. And then she saw recognition in his eyes, felt his hand drift further around her. It was more than what had happened with the others. The others had a strange sense of recognition when they saw her but this was different. She could see it in his eyes. She hadn't been able to believe it but it was true. He knew her. He'd went right back to how they had been before she had woken up. For the briefest moments she thought he might actually kiss her again. But then she saw fear take over.

"Who's Rick?" he asked, pulling her out of her reverie.

"He's our leader," she said before she even realized what she was saying.

Merle barked out a laugh. "Oh, shit. Is this some sort of alien story you're gonna dump on my head or somethin'? Your leader? You're fuckin' crazy, woman."

"That isn't what I meant." She shook her head. "He's the leader of our group."

"So you and my baby brother are members of some secret group that I don't know about and your leader is a man named... Rick?" Merle was trying to keep a straight face but it wasn't working.

"Can you just hear me out when Daryl gets back? Stop putting words in my mouth."

He sighed and then heaved himself up off the couch and walked out of the room. When he came back less than a minute later he had a beer in his hand. He turned on the small television and sat back down. She sat down on the other side, as far from him as she could get. This was not going the way she had imagined. She had expected to get to talk to Daryl eventually. She hadn't expected to have to talk to Merle.

"How long has he been having these dreams?" she asked after what seemed like hours passed as he stared at the screen and drank beer after beer.

He shrugged. "A few months as far as I know."

"Has he been acting strange?" she asked.

He snorted. "He's been freaked the fuck out but nothin' like he was today. I heard him last night, tossin' and turnin' and shit. He's been in a shitty mood since it started. When I asked him tonight who you were he about jumped outta his skin. Then there you were." He finally looked at her. Really looked at her. "You wanna beer?"

"No," she shook her head.

He killed the entire beer in a few giant gulps and then sat the empty can on the table with the others. She had the urge to pick up his mess but she stayed where she was.

"Anyway," he went on, "He's been real jumpy. He's always got his damn crossbow on him. Just weird shit, ya know?" He was getting drunk. She could tell. He stood up and then offered her his hand. "I'll show ya what else he's been doin'."

She frowned but took his hand anyway. He led her to the kitchen and then a small room off the kitchen that must have been a pantry. He opened the door and she stared inside.

"He's hoarding canned food." She smiled slightly.

Merle nodded. "He's been poachin' too. Dryin' out deer meat. Get's all pissed off and shit when I ask him about it. I don't know what the fuck is goin' on with him." The space was crammed full of canned foods. Meats and vegetables and other things that would prove to be useful for when the walkers came.

Carol could hear the worry in his voice and she realized that his concern for his brother was the only reason she was here. He would never have divulged any of this information to a complete stranger if he wasn't actually afraid. And she could see that now. He was scared for his brother.

They heard the door slam then, causing her to jump.

"Stay here until I talk to him," Merle whispered and then walked past her out of the room.

~H~

The first thing he saw was all the beer cans that littered the table and he knew Merle was probably at least half drunk. He was hoping that he would be in the bathroom or something so he could just sneak off to his room and go the hell to sleep. He knew he was going to be hit with a thousand questions and he didn't blame his brother. If the tables were turned he knew he would be chomping at the bit to find out what the hell that scene in the bar was.

He stopped in the middle of the room when Merle came around the corner from the kitchen. Merle stopped and stared at him and Daryl felt his fist clench. He hated the way Merle was looking at him. He had that concerned look again. He'd rather have him wear that mocking look that he was so used too.

"You wanna tell me what the fuck's goin' on now, little brother?" He asked.

Daryl ran a hand through his hair. "Ain't nothin', Merle."

"I saw what happened there, boy. I saw that little exchange with the lady there. You wanna tell me who she is?"

Daryl just stared at him, his eyes narrowing.

"She had quite an ass on her from where I was sittin'." Merle gave him that look.

Daryl felt his fist clench once more. Anger swirled in his gut. "Shut your fuckin' mouth, Merle."

Merle shrugged. "Is she yours, little brother? Only reason I can see for you tellin' me to shut my mouth over an ass like that is if that ass belongs to you. Was that your piece of ass?"

Daryl was silent. He wasn't sure what to say. Of course not. Right? "Just don't talk about her like that. You don't even know her. She ain't nobody's piece of ass. She ain't like that."

"Yeah I do know her. Better than you think. Her name's Carol and from what I could gather she knows quite a bit about us."

"You talked to her?" Surely Merle hadn't talked to her. The woman probably thought he was a fucking lunatic. That's what he felt like anyway.

"Me and her had quite a conversation. She was telling me about Rick, y'all's group. She's a real sweet woman. I can see why you'd go all stupid over a woman like that. She's got a real sweet way about her."

Daryl's heart started pounding in his chest and his mouth went dry. There was no way. There was no way that could be true. Merle had to have just been messing with him. He'd heard Daryl say Rick's name and he was making shit up on the way.

"Daryl?"

He looked up at the sound of her voice, his throat nearly closing at that soft sound. She was standing there in the kitchen doorway. She looked different than she did in his dreams. But it was her. Just a healthier version of the person that he had grown to know. Her eyes were the same and that was the important thing. He had the overwhelming urge to go to her. To be closer to her. To say something to her so he could hear her talk. And so, of course, he took a step away from her and he kept his mouth shut. He was about to flee. He was so close to taking off out the door, jumping in his truck and leaving. He didn't even care where he ended up as long as it was away from the confusion.

"Rick left Merle cuffed to a roof in Atlanta and he cut off his own hand and was gone before you could get to him." She said in that soft voice, eyes trying to hold his.

He froze. He remembered that dream.

"Our camp got overrun with walkers and we lost others. I put a pick axe through Ed's head and then we fled. When we stopped on the road a herd came through and then we lost..."

"Don't." He said between clenched teeth. That part of the dream was one of the worst parts. If he had been closer to the little girl that would have never happened. He knew that now just like he knew it then. But he hadn't been close. He had been trying to take care of T-dog and the girl hadn't made it.

She shook her head and came a little closer, stopping just when he was about to take a step back. Merle was watching him closely. "We lost Sophia. You searched for her but you didn't find her in time and she had been bitten."

Daryl froze up then. He'd tried to find the girl, knew he would find the girl, and then Shane had opened those doors...

"We lost the farm, lived on the road for months and then found the prison. You found me in the tombs..."

"Shut up," he growled. She needed to shut up. He didn't need to think about all of that. He didn't want to think that it was going to come true. And there wasn't anything he could do to stop it from happening. He didn't need to think about the part of him that was wishing it would come true, regardless of the horrors, just so he could have her.

He knew Merle was watching them. He knew he needed to calm down. He was breathing heavily and glaring at her and he wasn't even sure why. He knew those dreams weren't really dreams. That was why he had taken what money he could and stocked up on food. He didn't want him and Merle to starve. He knew it was all true. He just couldn't understand how.

She glanced up at Merle. "Can you give us a minute?" She asked quietly.

He gave her a hard look but finally nodded and left the room, retreating down the short hall to his room. Daryl heard the door close and then he heard her footsteps coming closer. He was looking at the floor. He had tried to forget the dream he had had the night before because in it he had been desperately trying to hang onto her but she was like a ghost, fading in and out. He had taken her out of the prison but she just kept fading out. She was disappearing right in front of him and he had realized that she was leaving him and there was nothing he could do about it and it had been the most painful thing he had ever been through in his life. He remembered telling her things but he couldn't remember exactly what it was he was trying to tell her. He thought maybe the smartest thing he could do was protect himself from that but it was hard. Too hard.

"You told me to remember. You told me they were coming." She was closer than he thought she was. He looked up. Only a foot separated them now. He could have sworn that he could feel her breath on his skin.

"I don't remember that. Don't remember what I said." He whispered, wanting to put more anger in his tone but it came out hushed and desperate.

"We can save all of them." She said as she took another half step towards him.

He forced himself to stay where he was even though for some reason he was afraid to let her get closer. If he let himself feel all of the things he was trying to feel then how could he deal with the pain of losing her? He couldn't go through that. But wasn't he already going through it? And she was wrong. They didn't know these people.

"Look, I was in an accident. We can use the money that I have. We can build something. We can have a fortress. You know they are coming, Daryl, you know they are. We can save everyone and things won't have to be like they were at the farm. Things won't be like they were at the prison, Daryl. We can have a real chance at a real life. We can be...

He felt her hand brush against his arm and he tensed but didn't let himself flinch away from her. Her touch was familiar and so he let her touch him. He stayed as still as stone but he wouldn't look at her. He was afraid to meet her eyes. Could they really do that? He knew that the end was coming. He knew the walkers were coming just as surely as she did. Could they save every one of them?

"Will you help me try and save them?" she asked in a voice that seemed to caress the nerves in his spine, causing him to look up at her.

His eyes slid down from hers and lingered on her lips for a few agonizing moments before following the line of her jaw down to her neck and then back up again. He felt her trembling hand find his and almost involuntary gave her fingers one gentle squeeze. Her eyes widened and then, to his dismay, filled with tears that spilled over quickly. He felt his stomach twist painfully. Nothing felt like it made any sense anymore. He felt like he couldn't trust his own mind. His own thoughts. The way he was feeling, it was too foreign. Her tears only made that confusion worsen because the only thing he could think about was how much he wanted to make them go away. How often he had seen them... when really he had never seen them at all.

"How can we save'em when I don't even know who they are?" He whispered.

"They're all here." She said, hope filling her eyes as quickly as the tears had.

He frowned and closed the distance between them. He hadn't told his feet to move, it just happened that way. Only a breath separated them now, her hand was still warm in his and it felt right. Like it was meant to be there. "You've found'em?"

She nodded. "Some. Rick, Lori, Carl, Shane, Glenn... the others are out there. I know they are. We just have to find them."

He dreaded the question he was going to ask her next. "What about..."

"Sophia?" The smile that lit up her whole face had his defenses crumbling and he let out a heavy breath, the relief nearly crushed him.

"She's alive?" He asked, not understanding at all why this news was what undid him.

She nodded, that smile still in place causing the corner of his mouth to lift up.

The death of that little girl was the thing that haunted him the most about those dreams. It was the thing that ate him up inside every night. It was the biggest regret and the burden that lifted at the news of her being alive was a breathtaking thing. He was still confused, still very much afraid of what he now knew was certainly coming, but they had a chance to make right every mistake they had made while they were learning to survive out there. They weren't dreams. These were premonitions. That was what could have been, not what was going to be. He didn't have to understand it to know it was true. All the time he had wasted being too afraid to let her get close, even though he had known in those dreams that she loved him. He'd known that he had loved her back fiercely. Her being here now changed everything.

He wasn't going to lose his brother. Carol wasn't going to lose her daughter. Andrea, Shane, T-dog, Amy, Dale, Lori, Jim, Jacqui. All of them could be saved. Every one of them. Merle thought he was crazy but he wasn't. His mind was racing with this new found knowledge and for the first time in months he felt himself feel hope.

She saw it as soon as he accepted it in his mind. Of course she would see it. She knew him better than anyone else. She knew him better than his own brother. He saw hope mirrored in her own eyes. He thought of the time he had wasted and the millions of mistakes he had made, or had yet to make. He thought about how much he had hurt her with his cruel words and harsh demeanor. And he thought about how never one time did she give up on him. She never let him falter. She drilled it into his head that he was good and he was worthy and he was a man that people could count on. A man that she cared about more than anyone else. Her faith in him never wavering, not one time. Her trust in him something so huge that it was almost a visible presence.

From the very first time she had shown up in those strange dreams he felt the loss of her deep in his gut upon wakening. He missed her smile and her laughter and that gentle way she had about her even in the end when that harsh world should have crushed it out of her. He missed the way he felt in those dreams. In those dreams he knew without a doubt in his mind that to someone, to _her_, he was everything. His whole life he had been made to feel useless. He had been made to feel unworthy of anything that could be good. Until she came in those dreams. He woke up every morning envying that man that he was there. Envying that version of himself because that version of himself had everything that he had ever secretly dreamed of having.

But he wouldn't have to live with any of those mistakes now and he didn't have to waste any time. She knew every fault he had and accepted them and that was why he threw caution to the wind and pulled her to him, his lips meeting hers like they had done the night before last in the dream. There was no insecurities, no wondering, no reason _not_ to kiss her. He didn't worry that she would reject him and he didn't worry that he wasn't good enough. He _was _good enough and as her arms locked around his neck and she pressed herself flush against him it all felt right. Very right.

It was familiar, and dizzying. His hands roaming as she deepened the kiss herself and he wondered vaguely why he had ran away from her and the prospect of this. Even if this was as insane as premonitions of flesh eating monsters and amputated legs and lost little girls. He was standing in his living room kissing a woman that he was completely in love with that he had barely said two words too that he was somehow connected with on some sort of weird subliminal level while his brother waited in his room.

The thought of Merle was like a slap in the face. Merle got cuffed up there on that roof because Merle was a cold, cruel, racist asshole. He was dangerous. How was he going to be able to do this if Merle wasn't going to change? And he knew he wouldn't. He was... Merle. He regretfully ended the kiss and loosened the hold he had on her.

She was breathing heavily and her eyes shone like polished glass in the lamplight. The thought of him causing such a reaction in her had him almost forgetting the reason he had stopped kissing her in the first place but then he heard Merle's bedroom door creak open and he let her take a step away from him, dropping her arms from around his neck.

"So whats the fuckin' verdict? You're both batshit crazy, ain'tcha? Just a couple of looney birds gonna go share a coo-coo cage." He met Daryl's eyes and held them for a long time. Longer than Daryl was comfortable with but Merle really needed to be paying attention right now.

"Merle, some shit's gonna go down and it ain't gonna end good for ya if you ain't plannin' on changin'." Daryl said quickly.

Merle blinked a few times and then a cruel smile spread across his face. Daryl wasn't going to get into it with him now. He was damn near drunk and looking for any reason to argue with him. So before Merle could say anything else Daryl pressed on.

"I'm gonna take her home now, alright. Can I use the bike?"

Merle was surprised again but as he studied his brother's face he finally nodded and tossed him the keys. "You coming home tonight?" He smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

Daryl walked towards the door and without turning to look at either of them he answered Merle. "No."

He didn't wait to hear what his brother would have to say to that and he was a little bit too nervous to turn and see the look that may be on Carol's face at the moment.

**So, some of you are probably thinking that Daryl wouldn't kiss her, or he wouldn't be so accepting of all of this. All I can say is, the Daryl in this story did and there isn't anything I can do about that now and I really hope it doesn't turn anyone off of this story. You think this is bad, you don't even want to know what happens in the next one ;) I'm kidding. Well, kinda. Anyway, I hope you liked this! This whole story has me a bit on edge for some reason. Anyway, thanks again for reading!**


	10. Settled Demons

**So... umm... Thank you all for being so open minded about this little project. It's really good to see that you are all totally embracing the strangeness of this story! I think we are all our own worst critics and every chapter I post I'm usually worried that it will be the one that makes you guys say, "Okay, Haitus, there is no way in hell that shit would happen!" And, unfortunately, this is another one of those chapters. Is it unlikely to ever progress this fast on the show for these two crazy characters? Probably. But the way I look at it is... Zombies walking around eating people alive is kind of unlikely too so once again, I hand you the chapter and let you decide if I've gone overboard. Not that anything can be done about it now. On the bright side, unlikely or not, this is pretty hot stuff. LOL! So at least there is that =) Thank you all for reading and letting me know your thoughts. You all are beyond great and I hand out love as eagerly as you people hand out cookies and stuff ;) Enjoy!**

**Huge thanks to ldyjaydin, who is scrambling to catch my mess ups! And who also happens to be one of the sweetest lil things ever! And one of my favorite writers on here AND who just found out that after much hard work ;) she is gonna be a brand new mama! Her stories are grand. Go read and congratulate her, this is a big deal! =)**

**Settled Demons**

Chapter Ten

When they pulled up in front of her house she was hesitant to let go of him. She couldn't believe how it had all worked out. He was dealing with the same things she had been dealing with. She was confused about how it all had happened. Why the two of them would be the two who saw it all unfold before the others, but it was okay. She wasn't alone in it anymore. She never really had been. She wished she had went looking for him sooner.

Finally she let go of his waist and climbed off the bike. He hesitated as he looked towards her house. "I been wonderin' what your house was like. You talked about it sometimes..." He shook his head and climbed off himself, eyes still narrowed and staring at the dark windows. "This is fucked up."

She felt her heartbeat pick up at the thought of him remembering everything she remembered. Why had he started dreaming those dreams as soon as she did? Why did the dreams hit him and not the others? From what Merle said his dreams began around the time she was in the accident, not before.

"So, you dreamed about it but you woke up everyday knowing it was a dream?"She asked as he followed her slowly to the door.

When she looked back at him he was chewing his thumb nail. When his eyes met hers it was only briefly before they darted away again. "Somethin' like that. I knew it was all in my head but it wasn't like no dream I ever had before."

She opened the door and went inside, motioning him to follow when he seemed to hesitate in the doorway. He didn't look like he did when she left him. His hair was shorter, his face much younger looking. He wasn't as thin. And he was still very guarded. Even after what had happened in his very own living room he seemed to be almost unsure of himself and she didn't blame him for it. This was a scary thing. On one hand they didn't know each other. On the other hand they knew each other better than anyone else in the world. She had been given a little more time to adjust and adapt to the situation that had just been thrown at him, leaving him disoriented. She could see it in his face, the two versions of himself warring with one another. This Daryl fighting to detach himself while the other Daryl, her Daryl, wanted to do the right thing no matter the cost. Her Daryl had won out in the living room of his house.

"I was in an accident. I was in a coma for three months and while I was out I lived that life. To me it feels just like it all really happened. All of it. I have all these memories in my head and I tried to pretend like it had all just been some strange dream. I almost had myself convinced, actually."

"What happened? What made you realize we was out there?" He asked as he followed her to the kitchen.

She sat down at the table and he joined her, taking in the room with a quick sweep of his eyes. She smiled at him when he finally looked at her and saw the corner of his mouth turn up in response. Her Daryl was making his presence known, she still had to remember that it was almost like she was dealing with two different men here. "I ordered a pizza." She said matter of factly.

His eyes narrowed. "You what?"

"When I got out of the hospital Ed wanted me to cook him dinner. I ordered a pizza instead. Glenn was the one that delivered it."

He sat up straighter and splayed his hands flat out on the table top, paying close attention to them instead of looking at her again. "Glenn." He shook his head and laughed sarcastically. "I actually missed him when I was awake. Little bastard."

Carol laughed, causing him to look up at her, his smile growing into something that nearly knocked the wind from her. All too soon he looked away and the smile fell from his face. She went on then. "Lori and Rick are both fine and I think we can keep Lori alive pretty easily."

"How?" He asked, still avoiding her eyes.

"If we can warn Rick about the third man in that car then he'll be prepared. He wont get shot. He'll never get put in the hospital to begin with and then when everything gets crazy, Lori and Shane wont have a chance to get together. Not with Rick being there."

"Then there won't be any lil ass-kicker." He said sadly.

Carol pressed on. "There could be. We still don't know who's baby she really is. Or was. Whatever. Rick could still get her pregnant if he's the one that fathered Judith. We won't have to run. We wont have to starve and things will be better for her. I can make sure things are better for her. We can have Lori and Judy both."

"And so far we're the only ones? Just me and you know what's comin'? That don't make any sense. Why us?" he asked.

"I don't know. But it's the truth. Unless one of the others I haven't ran into yet are experiencing the same thing." She said the words but she didn't believe them. By the look in his eyes when they met hers he didn't believe it either. It was just the two of them, for reasons neither of them would probably ever know.

He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "This is fucked up." He whispered.

She nodded. "It is."

Suddenly his head snapped up and he was glaring at her. At first she thought she had done something wrong but soon she realized that wasn't the case. "Why the hell would you come back here? Why would you come right back to Ed?" he sounded outraged. He sounded... jealous.

She shrugged. "I told you before that I wished he were still alive. I wanted to shoot his kneecaps out, remember?" He was scowling so she went on. "I let him come back because I wanted him to know. I wanted him to really know the person I had become."

"Yeah, and how the hell did you do that? I know you didn't shoot out his kneecaps. What the hell were you thinkin'?"

She shook her head and smiled sheepishly. "I hit him in the face with a frying pan... twice. And then I held a knife under his chin and dared him to put his hands on me again."

He was stunned into silence for a few long seconds and then he laughed. "No shit?"

"No shit." She smiled.

"So the two of you ain't..." He let his voice trail away and then looked towards the back door.

"No. definitely not. I have more self respect than that now. I don't need a man like that in my life and my daughter doesn't either."

"Where is she?" He asked suddenly, apparently over whatever he was angry about.

"Rick and Lori's. She's spending the night with Carl. The two of them became pretty close while I was apparently off living it up in a prison with you."

He nodded like this wasn't some sort of insane conversation.

"Did you know? Did you know in your dreams that I was waking up?" She asked.

He didn't say anything for a long time. He just kept studying his hands. When he finally spoke he didn't look at her. "They all told me you had to go back to Sophia." He said in a low voice. "But I thought that meant you were dyin'. I didn't know what the fuck they were talkin' about. I thought I could..." He shook his head. "I don't know what the fuck I was thinkin'. You just disappeared and then I woke up."

"When did you have that dream?" She whispered.

Now he looked at her again. "Last night."

"I remember that. I remember the others were there, alive. The moon..."

"Turned black? I know. Creepy shit." He cut her off.

She nodded. "Very creepy shit." She studied him then, really looked at him and then her face flushed crimson.

"What?" He asked hesitantly.

"So, if everything that happened to me happened the exact same way with you then we..." She couldn't finish the sentence. She could see it in his face that he knew exactly what she was talking about. They had slept together and he knew they had slept together. She cleared her throat. "Do you want a drink or something?" She asked, feeling even more strange about all of this than she had before.

He nodded.

She got up and was about to pass him to go to the fridge when his hand flashed out, snagging her wrist, stopping her. His grip was tight but it didn't hurt. He stood up quickly and pressed her into the table until she was nearly sitting on it, kissing her more aggressively than he had earlier or he had that first time. It was another example of how this Daryl and the one from the prison were so different. The one at the prison had learned gentleness. She never thought about what it would be like kissing Daryl from, say, the quarry. Even earlier he had had the reservations of the man from the prison. This kiss was almost angry. But it wasn't unpleasant. It was definitely not unpleasant. She found her hands fisted into his hair. His arms went around her waist and then slipped up the back of her shirt, retrieving the gun and then slamming it down on the table.

She could feel every inch of him pressed up against her as she gave him dominance over her mouth.

~H~

What the hell was he doing? He didn't even know this woman and now he was kissing her... again. This wasn't him. This was that guy in those fucking dreams. He didn't go around kissing women he didn't know. Fuck! He didn't even talk to women he didn't know. He hardly talked to the few he did know. And now this. This was completely beyond him.

So he gripped her hips more tightly and pushed her back so she was all the way on the table now and he was standing right there between her legs, pressing against her even though there was a voice in his head screaming at him to stop all of this crazy shit. Just pull away and run right out the front door the same way he had ran away from the bar when he had first seen her. But the memories in his head were vivid and had taken him to a whole new place.

The other voice in his head was adamantly telling him that this was where he needed to be. It was telling him that all the things he lacked in the world, she could provide. Understanding, unending forgiveness, patience, love. It was all right there and all he had to do was take it. It was already his for the taking. She had always been the one that gave him purpose. And even when he failed, and he had failed her miserably several times, she still looked past those failures and offered him hope. She still made him feel like a man worthy of something as good as her.

He pulled her closer.

He remembered how he had felt that morning when he had woken up and felt that gut wrenching loss when he thought the dreams were finally over and he would never see her again. It had felt like someone had died. Like he had lost the only person in the world that he could turn too.

Her hands unlocked from around his neck and glided down to his chest as soon as his lips moved from her mouth down to the base of her throat. Her pulse throbbed under his tongue, giving him a sense of power unlike any he had known before. Her heart was hammering like that because of him. It was a heady thought. He'd never figured he would be any good at any of this.

But that didn't matter, did it? As crazy as it was, at least as far as the two of them were concerned, they had already slept together. So all this stuff was coming so natural to him because that was exactly what it was. Natural. They had been tiptoeing around all of this for what felt like a lifetime already.

The shrill ringing of the phone had them both freezing up. He had just been about to slip his hands up her shirt but he dropped them both down to the table once more. Now it was time for him to revert back to himself instead of the guy he was in those dreams. He stepped away from her quickly and she slid off the table, standing in front of him for a few seconds before she kissed him lightly on the lips one more time.

She walked to the phone on the wall by the doorway leading to the living room and answered on the fourth ring. He wasn't sure who would have been calling her house this late but her face lit up when she heard whoever it was on the other end.

"Do you miss me already?" She laughed as she turned towards the living room. "Do I need to come get you?"

He listened to her end of the conversation. He realized who she was talking too, marveling at the fact that after all of that, Carol had gotten her daughter back and now, even once the walkers took over, she could keep the girl safe. They both could. Carol was no longer that meek little thing that jumped at the sound of a raised voice. When she finally hung up he was chewing his thumb nail again but he pulled it away from his mouth when he saw the look on her face. She was fucking glowing. He'd never seen her look like that.

"I thought she was going to end up wanting to come home." She shook her head and laughed. "She was actually checking to make sure I was alright."

The corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. He wasn't sure how he would feel about seeing the girl again. He hadn't really said a word to her before she turned up missing on the road and he didn't think it would be a good idea for the kid to know that there was something going on between him and her mama. Even though he wasn't even sure what the fuck was going on between the two of them. He wasn't ready to answer those kinds of questions if the girl caught wind of him sneaking around with Carol. "So, do you need me to take you to get your car? I should probably head home. Make sure Merle don't try anything stupid, like drive my damn truck back to the bar."

He saw the flash of disappointment on her face and the slight hurt behind her blue eyes. "Sure, if you're ready to go."

He shook his head. "Not really but I don't think you want people to start talkin' about you lettin' men spend the night."

She frowned. "I can handle rumors, Daryl. I'm grown."

"I know that. But shit like that gets back to kids and then other kids have to get shit for it. I don't want her getting any shit from other kids because of me. The girl's had it bad enough without me makin' things hard on her at school."

Her face softened and she smiled. "I'm getting the sweet stuff early this time around. I like it."

He scowled. "Shut up."

She went to the table and grabbed her gun, stuffing it into the back of her pants. "I completely understand. So let's go get my car." She walked towards the front door so he followed. When they reached the front porch she stopped and turned around. "You know something? I don't think you will have to worry about that too much."

He narrowed his eyes in the dark and gave her a questioning look. "Why is that?" He asked.

She looked past him and her eyes took on a look that made him think that maybe the wheels were turning in her head. "I think Monday morning I'm going to go to that school and pull her out. I can teach her everything she is going to need to know. How to use weapons and other skills that will keep her alive after all of this starts."

He looked quickly towards the bike and then back to her. He didn't want people talking about her but he really wasn't wanting to go home either. Every fucking morning he woke up and she wasn't there was a hard way to start the day. So once again he initiated it and grabbed her wrist, pulling her to him. This time she grinned wickedly and actually kissed him first.

He opened the door and stumbled backwards into the house, tripping on the riser and falling flat on his back with her on top of him. She didn't break the kiss once but he found himself laughing against her lips as he removed the gun from her pants once more, setting it on the floor next to them, and let his hands roam up the back of her shirt. The feel of her skin under his rough hands had him kissing her harder.

The front door wasn't even closed all the way. The screen door had slammed shut once they had both hit the floor but the big door had been pushed all the way open. The screen door was made of a single sheet of glass so anyone that was close enough could see exactly what they were doing, even with the house as dark as it was.

She had his shirt unbuttoned without him even realizing she was working on it. Her hands were hot against his skin once she had the shirt pushed open. He pushed at the shirt that she had on over her tank top and then flung it onto the coffee table. He couldn't get enough of the feel of her. He pushed one hand up the front of her tank top and growled when his fingers brushed across the lacy material of her bra. The way her body felt under his hands was slightly different than the way she had felt in the dream. Her breasts were fuller than they had been in the prison and all of her bones weren't as prominent. He ran his hands down her sides to a slender waist and then hips that she had been lacking much of at the prison.

She was straddling him and he knew that she could feel the hard length of him between her legs. Tugging lightly as his bottom lip with her teeth she finally let go and sat up. She was back lit by the streetlights behind her so he couldn't make out anything other than her silhouette. She crossed her arms in front of her and then pulled the shirt up over her head, tossing it where he had tossed the other shirt.

He couldn't help himself anymore. He sat up so fast he probably startled her but he didn't care at the moment. His hands went around to her back to fumble with the bra strap as he licked a wet trail right up the center of her breast bone, dipping his tongue into the hollow between her collar bones and then finally her lips met his again, hot and hungry. She pushed his shirt away and ran her hands over his shoulders and up his neck. He couldn't remember anything ever feeling as good as her soft touch on his skin. That was until he remembered that it got much better than this. The way her legs felt wrapped around his waist as he pushed himself inside her. The way she felt when he made her come.

"Fuck..." He growled as he snapped the hooks, pulled the bra away and tossed it. His teeth had her trembling and gasping as his hand grazed her other breast, just enough to have her arching into him, the rough callouses causing goosebumps to break out over her sensitive skin.

The first time they had been together hadn't been real. It had felt real. And to them he supposed it had been or else they wouldn't be here on her living room floor right now. But he also knew that it had been the act of a desperate man. He had wanted her to stay with him and so he did everything he could to keep her there. He had used that as a way to keep her closer, as close as he could get to her. But this was much different than that. All he could think of right now was how good it all felt. How good he wanted to make her feel. How unbelievable she tasted.

She pulled away from him and stood up. At first he was afraid he had done something wrong but then he saw her hands moving towards the button on her jeans. He reached the open door with his foot and kicked it closed, his heart thundering against his ribs. He felt himself start to get nervous once again, so he fought through it, reached up and slid her jeans down her hips, while she was kicking off her boots. As soon as she was freed from all of that restrictive clothing she was on him once more, straddling his hips. Now he knew for sure she could tell how much he wanted her.

"You have no idea how awful it was to think I would never have this again." She whispered in his ear right before she kissed the side of his neck.

The sound of her voice sent another rush of blood straight to his crotch and he nearly groaned when her lips met his. He leaned back, bracing himself on his arms instead of rolling her over and rushing it. He had sort of rushed it that first time and he didn't want to do that again. There were no walkers. No prison full of people. As long as he could keep himself in check this could go on all damn night.

Her lips made a path down to his jaw bone and then his throat and then further down still. His breath hitched when she moved her mouth down his stomach, causing his fingers to dig into the carpet. He tried to control his breathing when her fingers started working to free him from his pants. With one hand flat on his chest she pushed him until he was on his back once again and she was now knelt there between his legs. He leaned back up on his elbows, even though it was much too dark in the room to really see her.

Her hand went around him first causing his breath to rush out of him. It wasn't long after that when he felt her lips wrap around him, lowering her head so slow it had his toes curling. He groaned and then his shoulders hit the floor once more when his elbows could no longer support his weight. Suddenly his limbs felt like Jello-O. She didn't bring her head back up until he felt himself press against the back of her throat and then she brought her mouth down again.

She was going to have to stop or they wouldn't be able to do anything else at all. But he sure as hell didn't want to tell her to stop. He was hesitant at first but he finally placed one hand on the back of her head. He guided her until she picked up her pace. She drug her nails down his inner thigh and then cupped him firmly. He groaned and then finally relaxed, biting desperately at his bottom lip while she did things with her mouth that he never would have guessed she knew how to do. She was in complete control and he was more than happy to let her have it at first but some of the things she was doing felt_ too_ good. Much, much too good, causing every muscle he had to jerk almost embarrassingly. It took everything in him not to let go.

"Damn it, Carol. Ya gotta stop," he finally croaked but he was pretty sure that he had already waited too long. He'd blown any chance he had at prolonging anything at all. As soon as they started he wasn't going to be able to keep himself from making it a very short lived experience.

But she didn't stop, instead she moved her tongue back and forth across the underside of him every time she brought her mouth back down. He was pretty sure a woman like her wouldn't appreciate what was about to happen if she didn't get him out of her mouth. And it was going to happen soon. His muscles tensed and a warm heavy pressure unlike anything he'd ever experienced seemed to settle in his lower body like a massive storm.

"Carol, I'm gonna..."

She moved faster on him, causing his eyes to roll back into his head and his teeth to clench together. If he didn't then he was going to turn into a whimpering moaning fucking mess. Fuck. She just wasn't able to take a hint.

"Really, Carol, you gotta move... now." His voice was about five octaves higher than usual, making her laugh a little which made strange vibrations in her throat. "Oh holy fuck," He groaned. He actually covered his eyes with the heels of his hands and she literally started sucking him dry. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..." He cursed himself and he cursed her and he trembled, whimpering there on the floor like a beaten dog and still she skillfully played him like a fine instrument, prolonging every sensation that wracked his over sensitive nerve endings.

When it was over he didn't move. He lay there gasping as she slid up the length of him.

He was pretty shocked. Who would have guessed that Carol was a closet freak? After he finally caught his breath this thought had him chuckling quietly.

"Was that comical?" he could hear the smile in her voice.

He shook his head. "No. But no more kissin'," he said in a hoarse voice.

"You know," she said as she laid her forehead on his chest, "I never would have thought that you would go for any of this. I remember you from the quarry and I thought I was really going to have my work cut out for me."

"You probably woulda if I hadn't been livin' the same damn thing every night for months. I don't think I was that bad at the quarry anyway." He ran his hands up her thighs and over her hips and was surprised to find that maybe it wasn't over after all. He was already standing at full attention again. He couldn't help but be pretty impressed with himself.

"You changed a lot by the time we were at the prison," she said quietly.

"So did you," he countered right before he rolled her over quickly. When her arms locked around his neck he couldn't help marveling at how natural it felt. But she was right. If anyone would have tried to get close to him back then he would have instantly chewed them out. But this _was _back then, technically, and here he was.

"I did." She sighed as she moved her hips a little.

His lips met her throat as he kicked off his boots quickly. She didn't waste any time using her feet to wrestle his pants down his legs. As soon as he was free of them he moved into her, clenching his teeth once more to prevent himself from making anymore embarrassing sounds. It was better than he remembered, even though, in his own mind, this very thing had happened recently. The way she stretched around him as he filled her had him gasping, gripping him as he went deeper and deeper.

He almost felt guilty doing this on the floor but he didn't see either of them making it to the bedroom. He didn't want her on a bed that she had shared with Ed anyway. He'd rather have her on the floor.

Her nails dug into his back when he moved a little faster. He forgot all about what she had done earlier and kissed her deeply when she said his name. She was already gripping him like a vice, trembling under him slightly. She pulled her mouth away from his and gasped, clamping her legs around his waist. He felt every muscle inside her tense and then release over and over as he moved faster into her, his name like a broken mantra escaping her lips.

He didn't know how long they were there on the floor but somehow she ended up on top of him. He was desensitized at first because of what she had done earlier but he was close to losing it. She leaned over him, hands planted on each side of his head. He bit his lip, eyes widening in the dark. He wasn't sure what he was suppose to do. Was she on birth control? "Carol... I think you might need ta stop..." but she didn't listen. His fingers dug into her hips as her mouth met his. It hit him suddenly, his fingers tightened even more and instantly her body responded to his, shuddering, trembling but never breaking stride. He ripped his mouth away from hers as he poured into her, his breath ripping from his lungs.

After she finally was able to calm her breathing she pulled away from him and sat up, reaching for the shirt that he had pushed off her shoulders earlier. She rolled off of him, landing on her back next to him. It was so quiet that he could hear her working on getting it buttoned up. He put his pants back on in a hurry and then flopped back down next to her.

Neither one of them said a word for a while. He was starting to feel nervous once more. What the fuck was he suppose to say now? It turned out he didn't have to say anything. She stood up quickly and grabbed his hand, tugging on it until he finally stood up with her. She wordlessly led him down a hallway and into a room, not bothering to turn on any lights.

"I ain't sleepin' in a bed that you shared with that piece a shi..." He started but she didn't let him finish.

"Ed and I haven't slept together in a long time. New sheets anyway," She said quickly.

He went ahead and let her push him down onto the mattress and he had to admit that it was a lot better than the lumpy twin mattress that was sitting on the floor at home that he slept on. He knew that he'd told Merle he wouldn't be home tonight but he really wasn't sure if he had been planning on staying. It wasn't that he didn't want too. It was more a matter of whether he should.

He knew that he was in too deep to do anything about it now. There wasn't a chance in hell he could put the breaks on whatever this was but it was still strange. Really strange. That's all he could think about until she crawled in next to him. Then his mind went straight back to the prison. The prison where he had felt like the world was on his shoulders until he was able to get into that bunk with her. As soon as he felt her at his back, pressed against him, that weight became bearable. That was what this felt like.

He was still a loose cannon for the most part but this woman brought him a peace he had never known before. She brought out every ounce of good he had in him. But he was still waging a war inside.

"I'll be back. Just give me ten minutes." She whispered, pulling away. She had gotten him in the bed and when she was sure he was going to stay there she was going to run off. Smart woman. He smiled in the dark.

She hurried out of the room, leaving him there with his thoughts. He actually considered sneaking out while she was doing whatever it was she was doing but he decided against it. He had to fight through the nerves and keep going head on. This was where he needed to be. She was who he needed to be with. There was a connection between them that defied anything he had ever heard of before.

When she came back she smelled like some sort of flowery soap. It smelled familiar and then he realized that it was the exact same kind he had gotten her in that dream. Go figure.

She curled up next to him and instantly, like it was the most natural thing in the world, his arm went around her, pulling her closer. He could get used to this. She settled those demons in his head. She made it easier to think. She made it easier to simply be him. Being with her was like finally being home.


	11. Too Little Too Late

**I'm happy to say that this is my first real filler chapter for this story. I hate filler chapters but this one isn't half bad. I'm glad you are all so open minded about this tale. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I'll never be able to say it enough! =)**

**Too Little Too Late**

Chapter Eleven

Carol woke up later than she thought she would. The light shining in through the sheer curtains was bright but she wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. She didn't wake up disoriented or confused or afraid. She was pretty sure she woke up with a smile on her face. Nothing could have prepared her for the way everything had worked out. Her daughter was alive and safe with Rick and Lori and Daryl was here, in her bed, with his arm slung over her. It was hard to believe her luck. When she remembered the look on his face that last night she was with him at the prison it made her heart hurt. The pain that he couldn't hide was as unbearable as the pain she felt when she had woken up and thought that he had only been a dream. She pressed her back further into his chest.

After a while she tried to ease out from under his arm so she could get up and start the morning but he tightened his hold on her and pulled her so her back was pressed against his chest. She knew him. She was ultra aware of his body language and she could feel how tense he was behind her. She knew how hard this was for him. So many conflicting things, emotions and feelings that this man wasn't quite equipped to handle, even though he was trying hard. She covered his hand with her own.

"Stop thinking about running out the door, Daryl. You're doing fine," she whispered.

She felt his breath hit the back of her neck and the tense muscles at her back relaxed slightly. She smiled to herself. He'd be just fine. It was just going to take him some time. She gave him a few minutes and then she rolled over so she could see his face. He looked calm. She was still surprised at meeting these eyes and not the ones she had grown so used to at the prison. Those eyes at the prison had been haunted by the grief they all shared. The loss that they lived with every day. These eyes were different. It reminded her of how much he had changed while they struggled to survive, and now it was like both versions of himself were constantly battling it out in his mind.

"I wasn't thinkin' about runnin'." He grumbled.

She reached up and ruffled his hair, smiling brightly. "Yeah, you were. You keep forgetting that I know you, Daryl. Sometimes even better than _you _know you."

The corner of his mouth turned up. "I need a shower." He muttered as he rolled over onto his back.

The phone on the nightstand rang, causing her to jump. It was a little early for phone calls and she thought about ignoring it but she wasn't sure if it was Sophia so she picked up with a happily muttered hello.

It was Merle asking for his brother. She didn't have to ask him how he got the number. It wasn't like she wasn't listed. She handed Daryl the phone. He rolled his eyes.

She laughed quietly when she heard Daryl tell him to shut up. He must have been eager to give his little brother a hard time for not coming home. She crawled out of bed then, knowing his eyes were on her and not feeling the least bit self conscious about it. She pulled on a pair of the jeans she had bought the day before, not bothering to change out of the shirt she had slipped back on last night and then left him there to argue with his brother on his own.

She padded to the living room and glanced around. Some of their clothes were still scattered about and her gun lay in the middle of the floor. She hadn't even locked the damn front door before leading him to her bedroom. She shrugged and then stuck the gun in the waistband of her jeans before making her way to the kitchen.

She stopped in the doorway when she saw a haggard and bruised looking Ed sitting at the kitchen table. He watched her but she couldn't read the look on his face. She stormed right past him and started getting the coffee ready. "What in the hell are you doing here?" she snapped when she finally turned to face him once more.

He looked down at the table. "I thought we needed to talk. I didn't realize you'd have company," he said quietly.

"The motorcycle in the driveway didn't give you any sort of hint?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Where's Sophia?" He asked instead of answering her. There was still no hostility in his tone and this caused her to narrow her eyes. She couldn't help but wonder what he was up too with all of this nice guy crap.

"With a friend." She growled. She knew he had seen the clothes in the living room. She was lucky he hadn't picked up her gun and went and shot her and Daryl both while they were in bed. Oh God... what was going to happen once Daryl came out? Ed's face was a mess. It looked just as bad as it did the day that Shane Walsh had beat him senseless for hitting her. Her face flamed in humiliation when she remembered how she had acted. Begging Shane to stop hitting him.

"Can we talk about this? About the crazy way you've been actin' ever since you came out of that coma." He kept his voice level. There was no anger to be detected there.

She crossed her arms over her chest once more and glared at him. "Me? The crazy way _I've_ been acting?" She laughed bitterly. "You've beat me nearly every day since we've been married. You've forced yourself on me a hundred times. More than a hundred times. And we need to talk about the way_ I _have been acting? You can't be serious."

"I'm sorry. Is that what you need to hear? Carol, I want my family back."

She turned her back to him, keeping her ears strained just in case he was planning on coming up behind her and trying something. "You don't have any family, Ed. Someone could walk in here right now and slit your damn throat right in front of me and I wouldn't bat an eyelash. I couldn't possibly hate you more than I do right now. What you've done to me, what you've done to my daughter," She shook her head and grimaced, "Those things are unforgivable."

"This is about that Dixon guy, isn't it? The one you're screwin'? The one that jumped me last night at the bar? I know that's who you got stashed in the bedroom. I'm not stupid. That's his brother's bike out there. I've seen them at Kellie's. Is that the type of man you're tradin' me in for? Like he's gonna be any different."

"I don't have anyone stashed anywhere. I don't have to hide people from you. Who I'm sleeping with isn't any of your business." She snapped.

"The hell it ain't." He slammed his hand down on the table but then took a deep breath, seeming to calm himself down quickly. "You're my wife. This is our house. We need to work on this. What can I do to fix it?"

"Ed, if I were you, I would just go ahead and go back to wherever the hell it is you came from. I was never your wife. I was your slave and I was your doormat and your punching bag. There's a difference. A piece of paper doesn't mean a damn thing. But you're right, I suppose. This is your house. It's in your name and you've paid for it. Take it. I'll take Sophia and go somewhere else."

"Are you even listenin' to me? I told you I was sorry. We can fix this. You leavin' isn't what I want."

"What you want ain't her problem, asshole." Daryl growled from the doorway.

She spun around. He was dressed now, hair still damp from the quick shower he had taken. He was glaring at Ed as he buttoned the shirt he must have scooped up off the living room floor.

"This don't concern you. Why don't you run along home now, boy and mind your own damn business. She's _my_ wife, she ain't nothin' to you but a piece of ass. She just ain't figured it out yet." Ed barked.

Carol watched the anger fill Daryl's face right before he took a step closer to Ed, his fists clenched. Ed stood up, not willing to back down even though it was obvious who was going to win if this came to blows again. It was almost comical since she recognized the fear on Ed's face instantly. He wasn't so ready to fight when his opponent was a man that could give it back just as brutally, if not more so, than Ed could dish it out. But he still had to save face and stand up. He was more stupid than she thought.

"She is my business you sorry sack of shit. She ain't nothin' to you no more, she never was, and what she is to me ain't no concern of yours."

Carol put herself between them, facing Ed. "Get out." She hissed.

Ed didn't glare at her like she expected him too. He actually looked like he had lost something. All those years and he had treated her like she meant nothing. Like she said, she was nothing more than a punching bag to him. And now he looked devastated at the prospect of actually losing her.

"Do you really think he's gonna turn out any different? He's usin' you and you're too stupid to see it. He'll put is hands on you faster than I ever did." He sounded desperate.

Carol shook her head. "_You_ used me. I was nothing to you and you made it a point to let me know that every day for the last thirteen years. Leave. Now."

"You don't even know him," Ed spat as he walked towards the doorway.

Carol laughed bitterly. "No Ed. _You_ don't know _me_."

He stormed out then after giving Daryl one more hard look. She turned to face Daryl once the front door slammed shut. His eyes bore into hers. "Remember that night," he said in a strained voice, "I left camp after Sophia... The night you came out to check on me."

She just kept staring at him, remembering that night well.

"I never woulda hit you. I was pissed off and I know you was thinkin' that I would but I never would have. The shit I said..." his voice trailed off but he took a deep breath and kept going. "The shit I said that night wasn't right."

She frowned. "I didn't think you were going to hit me. And what you said was the truth."

He visibly flinched and then shook his head. "That's bullshit."

She put her hands on his chest and was happy to see that he didn't flinch away from the touch. He stood there, the slightest tensing of his muscles under her palms the only indication that he had been the least bit uncomfortable. "Daryl, I should have kept an eye on her. I should have taught her how to protect herself instead of just sitting back and letting other people do all the fighting. She would have been fine if I hadn't been such an idiot. I was weak and so she was weak too. That's not how it's going to be now."

He looked like he was about to argue again but then must have changed his mind. "You ready to go get your car? Merle want's his bike back. He hates drivin' my truck."

She glanced longingly at the coffee pot and then back to him. Shrugging she turned it off and then faced him once more. "I'm ready when you are."

He nodded and then followed her to the door. She paused before she went out to the porch and then turned, knowing what his answer was going to be before she even asked him the question. "What are you doing later?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Nothin' as far as I know."

She grinned. "Would you go to dinner at the Grimes's with me?"

The scowl on his face was more than enough. "Are you insane? Hell no! You know how those assholes feel about Merle and me."

She sighed and then put her hands on her hips. "So you're gonna make me be the one to get the whole group together? You don't plan on helping me at all?"

He groaned. "It ain't like it was at the prison. You know how hard it was at first."

"And you ignored the fact that I even existed until Sophia turned up missing. That sure wasn't how you acted last night." She raised her eyebrows at him when she saw the flush heat up his face from his neck to his hairline.

"Shut up. That's different." He looked anywhere but at her and she had to force back a small laugh. She had to wonder if he was ever going to be comfortable in his own skin.

"I guess it is different. But still, I might need your help." She said grabbing his hand forcefully.

He huffed and looked down at her hand in his, shaking his head slightly. "What can I do?"

"Convince Merle that all of this is real. I'm gonna need both of you to do what needs to be done."

He looked up, those blue eyes narrowing once more. "You're shittin' me." He deadpanned.

She tightened her grip on his hand and then closed the distance between them. "No, I'm not. I need you both to help me do what needs to be done."

"What needs to be done that the two of us have to help you with?"

She bit her lip and followed the line of his neck with her eyes. "Remember the farm?" She nearly whispered as she met his eyes once more.

He nodded, frowning.

"Remember how safe it felt? We had shelter and food. It was amazing after spending all that time at the quarry."

He nodded again but kept his mouth shut.

"I want that. The thought of living on the road is unbearable and the thought of living in a prison makes me sick. We need a farm. We need to stock it and we need to secure it and we don't have that much time to do it."

He shook his head. "How the hell are we gonna do all that? Show up at the Greene farm and tell Hershel to scoot his ass over? Fence in his property? I don't think even Merle is that convincin', Carol."

"I'm sure he isn't," she rolled her eyes. "But I can find something before all this starts. We can have an actual home. We can skip all of the bad stuff we went through. We won't lose anyone and we can actually thrive there."

He stared at her for a few long moments. "You got all this shit figured out, huh?"

"I'm trying." She said softly, "but you have to try too."

"Are you serious?" his eyes widened and he gestured around the room almost angrily. Typical quarry Daryl. "I came here last night, didn't I? That was me tryin'! I'm still here. I didn't leave, even when I woke up askin' myself what the fuck I was doin' here." He shook his head. "I ain't him, Carol. That guy," he tapped the side of his head with his index finger, "He's in there but that ain't who I am. I don't know how to be him," he shook his head again, looking around almost frantically. "And then other times I don't even fuckin' know how to be me anymore cause that guy won't shut his big fuckin' mouth. I didn't live through the shit you lived through. I was dreamin', alright? Cut me some fuckin' slack! I'm _tryin_'. I can't be somebody I'm not. If that's what you expect then we got more problems brewin' than just the walkers comin'. You might _want_ him but all you got is me."

She hadn't seen him like this in so long that she was surprised. He was breathing hard and she expected him to shove her away when she took a few steps closer to him but he stayed still, chest heaving, eyes narrowed on her, jaw twitching.

"You feel better now?" She asked quietly. She'd been waiting for some sort of outburst but after last night she thought that maybe it was going to be easier than she thought. It was still easier than she had imagined it would be.

He kept watching her. He was still tense but then he seemed to calm down. He took in a huge breath and blew it out slowly before nodding.

She braved the last few inches and placed her hands on his chest. He stayed very still, watching her like he couldn't figure out what she was about to do. She reached up and kissed him on the cheek, moving her arms up to his shoulders. "I wasn't expecting that other man, Daryl. I knew who I was going to find when I took off looking for you. You don't have to be that guy, okay?" She kept her voice low.

She could have cried when she felt his arm go around her waist. He still didn't say anything but his head dipped down and his lips brushed hers softly. He sighed, his breath ghosting across her face, causing her to shiver. "I ain't goin' to no goddamn dinner, alright? But I'll talk to Merle. I don't know what good it's gonna do but I'll give it a shot."

She gave him a huge smile. "That's good. I'll try to talk to him too."

The corner of his mouth turned up. "You sure about that?"

She nodded. "You wanna come over tomorrow? You and him, I mean? I can cook and we can talk. I need to know if he can get his hands on some weapons. Big weapons. Lots of weapons." She smiled. "We need to start stocking up."

"How long we got?" he asked nervously.

"I think maybe two months at the most. I can't remember the exact date it all happened. We need to start looking at properties and figure out the best way to defend it. We need something with a few large bodies of water. We're really going to be okay."

"How much goddamn money you talkin'?" He frowned.

She boldly kissed him on the mouth before turning and heading towards the door. "Enough, Daryl."

She climbed onto the bike, waving at the old lady that had lived next to them for the last twelve years. He snorted as he climbed on in front of her. "My Pa would turn over in his fuckin' grave right now if he knew I'd done snagged myself a woman with money."

She laughed into his back as the bike roared to life. She wrapped her arms around his waist and wondered briefly how fast it would take for the entire town to know he had spent the night with her. Which caused her to think of everything that had happened last night and her legs pressed harder against him. She hadn't thought anything could be better than what had happened in their bunk that night but last night had been even better. Much better.


	12. Bitter Men

**Two days in a row! I've gone over this chapter again and again and it still isn't sitting right with me for some reason. I hope you guys enjoy it better than me. I wouldn't be posting so soon but it's EnglishPoet18's Birthday so I figured I would give her something to read. She shares a Birthday with my kid so that's pretty awesome XD. Anyway, I've already warned you about this one so be gentle with me. My ego is all fragile and such ;) Thank you all for reading! Hope you have a great week! **

**Bitter Men**

Chapter Twelve

The bar wasn't even open yet so it didn't surprise him that her car was the only one there in the parking lot. That was, until another pulled in beside it.

"You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me," he growled as he planted his feet on the ground and turned off the bike.

Ed got out of his car and then walked over to Carol's, leaning against the hood with his arms crossed. Ed didn't seem to be in the mood to go anywhere and there was no way in hell Daryl was going to leave her there with Ed alone. He didn't care if she was armed. He wished he could just kill the son of a bitch right there. But he'd have to wait.

She climbed off the bike and, without looking at him, took off in the direction of her asshole husband. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards the bike that he was still straddling. She gave him a questioning look. "I can get rid of him, Daryl. You don't have to protect me, you know. I'm a big girl now. I can handle him myself."

He snorted and then looked past her to where Ed was still leaning against the car, glaring right at him. "I know that," he muttered, tugging her even closer. He didn't have a clue why he felt so compelled to try to emotionally torment the man. And then he realized that that wasn't what he wanted to do at all. What he wanted to do was let the son of a bitch know that she was his now. She wasn't Ed's and that needed to be known. The man didn't deserve a woman like her and although he knew better he couldn't help but be just a little afraid that she would fall for Ed's shit and go back to him regardless of what her feelings for him were. And he couldn't let that happen.

Sure Ed had made her miserable. He had beat her down physically and mentally and emotionally. But at the end of the day he was still the man that had fathered her daughter. That had to mean something. When he looked down at her she looked concerned. There was a frown forming between her eyebrows. "Daryl?"

He sighed and then climbed off the bike. He knew he was being ridiculous and he knew that anyone could drive by and see him and he knew he would never hear the fucking end of it if Merle somehow found out, but he laced his fingers through hers and walked with her towards Ed.

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, knowing this was hard but also knowing he was trying like hell. It wasn't lost on her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She hissed when they finally approached Ed.

Ed looked from her to Daryl, his eyes narrowing. "I wanna see Sophia," he said evenly.

Carol shook her head. "No. The girl hates you, Ed. There isn't any reason for you to see her."

"She's mine, ain't she? That's reason enough. And you can keep playin' your games, you bitch. You'll be back as soon as he beats your ass one good time."

"Watch your mouth asshole." Daryl growled. "Choose your words more wisely before I feed you your own teeth."

Carol moved a step closer to him and then laughed in his face. "How many different tactics are you going to try, Ed? First threats, then you beg and now this? You're pathetic."

He narrowed his eyes and then moved back towards his own car. "I'll be there tonight to see my daughter, Carol. And there ain't a damn thing you can do to stop me."

Daryl's legs were moving before he even told them too. He grabbed Ed by the back of the shirt and then slammed him into the front of Carol's car before he threw him to the ground. He stood over him and grabbed him by the front of the shirt. "You best stay the fuck away from them, Ed. Cause I'll be around. I'll kill your stupid ass before you get near either one of'em, you got me?"

And it was true. He would have killed the man and he would have enjoyed every second of it. But all too soon he felt her hand on him and he stood up quickly, ignoring the urge to kick Ed in the face while he was down, just to show him how it felt. He backed up until he felt the car behind him. Ed heaved himself up off the ground and she didn't even glance back at him. Daryl leaned against the hood of the car as she stood in front of him. He was breathing heavily again. He didn't take his eyes off her.

"You know he'll have the cops here in a second if you touch him again," she said in a low voice.

Daryl knew that she was right and sure as hell couldn't afford to get himself locked up considering everything that was about to go down. Instead of even looking up at the other man, who wasn't even smart enough to get into his car and leave them be, he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her closer. "Can't have that now, can we?" he asked a little breathlessly. He needed to calm himself down and the only thing that would was her.

She shook her head and forced a smile. She placed her hands flat against his chest, like she just knew that he needed some kind of reassurance. God, he was a fucking mess.

Ed made a disgusted sound and then stormed off towards his car right as her lips met Daryl's. So there he stood, in broad daylight, kissing a married woman in front of her husband. And this wasn't even the craziest thing he'd done in less than a twenty four hour period.

Her lips parted, allowing him to kiss her deeper, seeking her tongue with his own. She complied eagerly, probably as surprised as he was by his bold public show of affection. He hardly heard the sound of Ed's car pulling out and then, with tires screeching, pull away. Daryl was completely focused now, images flashing through his mind. The two of them on watch together, her teasing him constantly, the way her eyes lit up when he'd come back from a run or hunt, the mischievous smile that she saved just for him. And then last night. Jesus, the things this woman could could do to him. The things she had already _done_.

He pulled her even closer as more memories ran rampant. That moment in the tunnels when he thought she was dead, the moment he found her unharmed and alive, the small touches, the gleam in her eye when she knew she had ammo to tease him with.

The heat of her mouth as she tasted and tormented, and the way her hands had ran over him like she had to memorize every inch of his skin. The way her body responded to his when he was inside her.

He was running on some strange high now. He was no longer aware of where they were or what he should or shouldn't be doing. His own memories swirled around with the memories of his dreams, creating an intoxicating haze that took over.

Her nails dragged across the back of his neck, causing his pulse to quicken even more. This wasn't him but it felt like him. He hated feeling so conflicted but he almost lived for these moments when the other version of himself took over. He was able to be more bold. He was able to be more like the man he thought she needed him to be.

When he had woken up that morning he had been afraid to open his eyes. He was afraid that it had been another dream and she would be gone. But then when he had actually felt her there he had been afraid of that too. There was no middle ground here. There wasn't anything to _not_ be afraid of. Everything was completely flipped upside down. So he leaned further into the car, drew her closer and kissed her harder. There wasn't any real reason not too at this point.

He was more sure of himself now. Last night he was acting on the wants of a version of himself that wasn't real but now he was starting to act on his own wants.

"Jesus, boy. Ain't never in my life thought I'd see the day I'd catch your ass makin' out on a car. Lucky I came when I did. Looks to me like you're about to fuck this little lady in broad daylight."

Goddamn it!

He pulled his face away from hers but didn't even think to let her go. Somehow he was sitting on the car with her between his legs and his hands were all over her ass. He didn't remember putting them in this position but it was pretty obvious that he had. Now he felt the blood rushing up to his face. She unwound her arms from around his neck and stepped away, a sly smile on her lips.

He blew out an angry breath, gave her an apologetic look and then glared at his brother. How the fuck had he not even heard his own truck? The thing was damn near as loud as Merle's bike.

"What the hell are you doin' here?" he asked, pushing himself off the hood of the car.

Merle sauntered over and, to his dismay, draped an arm over Carol's shoulder. "Came to make sure my bike was alright. And I had to see it for myself. I _heard_ it, ya know. But I wanted to _see _it." He gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze, sending Daryl's teeth on edge.

"What the hell are you talkin' about, Merle? You high already or somethin'?"

"You sounded like a satisfied man this mornin', baby bro. I had to see it for myself. And no, I ain't high. Yet." He grinned and then smacked Carol's ass before he walked towards his bike.

Daryl met her eyes and knew what she wanted him to do. He just didn't want to do it. Not yet anyway. He didn't know how the hell to talk to Merle about this shit. He didn't want too. He knew his brother and he knew how he would end up reacting. He would think they were both crazy. And it was probably true. What had he said last night? They were just a couple of looney birds?

"Merle!" he called.

Merle turned around, hands going to his hips. Daryl was about to say something else but Carol beat him to it.

"Merle, I need a favor," she said quickly, walking towards him. Daryl sighed and then followed.

"I don't do favors, little lady," he grinned.

"We're buying a farm. I need you to help us find a good one," she deadpanned.

Daryl didn't see it often but Merle was shocked. He openly gaped at them as Daryl shifted from one foot to the other nervously. There was no way in hell this was going to turn out good. This was going to be bad.

"What?" he asked, his tone matching the disbelief on his face.

"I said we're buying a..."

"I heard what the fuck you said," he muttered as he held up a hand to stop her from going on. He stared at them until Daryl was ready to get in his truck and drive the hell away from the parking lot as fast as he could. He hated when Merle looked at him like he was a goddamn idiot. "You two?" he cocked his head to the side, "are buyin' a... _farm_?"

Well now he was just making it sound stupid.

They both jumped as Merle's howling laughter pierced the quiet. He doubled over and braced his hands on his thighs. "This is fuckin' perfect."

"Not us two. The three of us." She corrected as she crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn't as quick to give up as Daryl was.

He finally straightened up and then gaped at them again. "Oh, hell no. No way in hell. I would follow ya to the gates of hell and back, little brother. You're my blood. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna run off with the two of you and live in some secluded house where your crazy asses could cook me up for dinner. Maybe offer up a Merle rump roast to your leader, Rick." He was gasping now as he once again cracked himself up at their expense. "You're crazy, ya know that? Both of ya. You really are gonna run off to share a cuckoo cage!" He howled with more laughter.

"Merle, this is serious. If you don't change then you're gonna end up with your hand cut off or worse. I know it sounds crazy and you can make fun of us all you want but you have to help us. Please."

Daryl groaned. There was no way in hell Merle was going to go for any of this. He was Merle, after all, and Merle wasn't in the habit of making things very easy for others.

"How the fuck do you expect me to believe any of this shit?" Merle asked as he placed his hands on his hips. "All jokin' aside, and believe me that's hard to do considerin', how am I suppose to take any of this shit seriously? You just told me I was gonna get my hand chopped off if I don't do what you want."

"You sawed off your own hand, Merle," she said, a desperate edge to her voice.

Merle blinked and then gave her a hard look before he slid his narrowed eyes over to Daryl. Daryl waited as Merle looked at him but he didn't say anything. Finally his eyes slid back over to Carol, shooting her a dangerous look and then crossed his arms over his chest.

"Stay away from my brother," he growled. There wasn't a trace of humor in his tone and he looked ready to kill. "I don't know what the fuck you've done to him but this shit stops now. It ain't funny no more."

Carol shook her head, eyes wide. "You don't understand..."

He stalked over to her with a murderous look in his eye. Daryl got in front of her, hands up. "Back the fuck up, Merle."

Merle glared at him then. "Are you listenin' to this crazy shit? You ain't right in the head boy! And all she's doin' is makin' it worse!" He roared.

Daryl shook his head. "You ain't listenin'. We gotta get somewhere. We gotta secure a place for when..."

Merle shook his head angrily and then kicked at the gravel. "Listen to yourself! You're gonna have to figure out where your head is! You stay away from her or you don't come home. I never thought I'd say it but you need help."

"Man, fuck you Merle! You're a fuckin' drug addict and you say I need help? We're tryin' to save your life, you idiot."

Merle crossed his arms over his chest again. "She's fillin' your head with bullshit, little brother. You don't see it but it's true. She's like... I don't know. She's the goddamn devil or somethin'."

"Then how do you explain how I knew you both?" Carol said quickly, moving around Daryl, refusing to hide behind him.

Merle snorted. "We're Dixons. It don't take much for people to figure things out about us, lady."

Carol shook her head. "You don't understand."

"I understand that I meant what I said. You stay the fuck away from my brother or I'm gonna make what Ed did to ya seem like a walk through the park." He glared at her.

That was it. Daryl launched himself at Merle and they both hit the ground hard. Merle was under him but in a real fight that didn't mean a damn thing. Merle proved it too when Daryl felt his fist connect with his jaw, knocking him off of him and scrambling over him, landing another hit to the same side of Daryl's face.

Daryl was able to land a blow to Merle's nose before Merle froze and then a few seconds later Daryl heard Carol's voice.

"Get off of him, Merle," she said calmly.

Daryl could tell by the look on Merle's face that this wasn't over but the man crawled off of him and then stood up. When Daryl jumped to his feet Carol was behind Merle, gun to his back. This wasn't going to be good. As soon as that gun was put away Merle was going to take Carol's head off. What the fuck had she been thinking?

"You gonna shoot me, lady?" Merle asked in a deceivingly calm voice.

"You tell me. Am I crazy enough to shoot you, Merle?" she asked innocently.

Daryl groaned. This was going to end badly. Very badly. She knew Merle! She should have known better than this.

~H~

Carol hoped she was on to something. She remembered at the prison, after she had brought Merle his food and chatted him up a bit, she had threatened to slit his throat in his sleep if he hurt Daryl. After that he had regarded her with a whole new respect.

She lowered the gun and took a step away. He spun around and glared at her. For a few seconds she was afraid she was actually going to have to shoot him. Of course she wouldn't have killed him but she would have to do something if he tried to hurt her.

"Ain't too smart, Carol. Pullin' a gun on a man like that." His eyes met hers and just like with Ed she refused to look away. "You know, I done some diggin' around. I know all about you. I know about how you let that pig husband of yours beat'cha into oblivian."

"Merle, you don't know shit. Just go home." Daryl spat angrily but Carol kept her eyes locked on Merle.

Merle ignored him. "You was active in church. Active in the P.T.A. Did a little volunteer work at the library when Ed gave you the okay."

"What's your point?" she asked as she stuffed the gun back in the back of her jeans.

"What happened to you after that accident? You're out of it for three months and then you wake up a different woman, didn't ya? Kickin' Ed outta the house, buyin' yourself new clothes..." he grinned wickedly, "Then you start slippin' my little brother here some of that sweet stuff."

"Goddamn it, Merle," Daryl growled.

"Bump on the head knocked some screws loose, huh?"

She shook her head. "Tell me how else I would know things I know. I knew your names, I knew where to find you. Merle, you have to trust me."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and tilted his head to the side. "Trust a woman who just put a gun in my back?" he snorted. "I'll figure it out. I don't know what you're tryin' to do to him but I will. You believe that one."

She rolled her eyes and stepped around him. "I hope so, cause the only damn thing I want to do is keep you both safe."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her back against him, leaning down so his lips were by her ear. She froze, her wide eyes met Daryl's as he stood there, to surprised to move himself. She felt half sick with her back pressed against his chest like that.

"I really hope you're tellin' me the truth, Carol. I ain't gonna let ya hurt my brother. You understand that?" He whispered so only she could hear.

"Merle, let her the fuck go!" Daryl growled.

Merle let go of her and she instantly spun around, glaring. "Why Merle? Afraid somebody might come along and take the job from you?"

Nostril's flaring, eyes flashing he spat on the ground before he strode back over to his bike. Without a word he tore out of the parking lot, pelting both of them with gravel as he left.

Daryl was leaning against his truck by the time she finally turned around. She joined him, crossing her arms over her chest, mimicking his stance. She nudged him with her shoulder as she stared off at the spot Merle had disappeared around a corner.

"Well, that went better than I expected," she said, sounding like she meant it.

Daryl snorted, causing her to finally look at him. He was staring at her like she was crazy, his jaw already starting to bruise. "Ya put a gun in his back, Carol. That didn't go well at all."

She shrugged. "It's better than putting a bullet in his back. I understand Merle more than you know, Daryl. He'll come around."

"I'm thinkin' he was on to somethin'."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What?"

"If you think he's ever gonna go for any of this shit then maybe you _are _a fuckin' looney bird."

She reached up and kissed him lightly on his bruising jaw. "We need to go. We have a lot of work to do today."

He frowned. "What kind of work?"

She hoped he wouldn't throw any kind of fit because she needed his help. "Finding the others."

His frown deepened into a scowl. "What the fuck do you need me to do that for? You can do that on your own!"

"Daryl," she made her voice sound extra pleading. "Don't make me do all of this on my own. I've spent weeks thinking I would never see any of you again. I need you to help me on this one."

The scowl stayed in place and he let loose with a colorful tapestry of swear words like she had never heard before, causing her to laugh. "You have a really dirty mouth, you know that?" she asked, still grinning as he stomped over to her car.

He whipped his head around and then held out his hand, demanding the keys. She dropped them into his palm and he turned away once more. "Not as dirty as yours, woman," he grumbled under his breath.

**See what I mean? Okay, I wanted to bring something up real quick. I had to change some things around for this story to work. I know that they weren't all from the same town but for this to work I do have to make most of them be local. I hope that doesn't turn anyone off. There are still going to be several that aren't but we will get to that soon enough. Thanks again for reading and I'm sorry if this chapter seemed... not quite right... to you guys like it did me. lol **


	13. The Good Samaritan

**Hey, you guys! Although I have 19 chapters of this story written, my goal is to stay ahead so I wont have to stress out over updates and I am constantly tweaking each chapter so the story flows better and isn't so confusing. That is the reason I don't like to update daily for this story.**

**With that said I have to reply to a guest review I received about the last chapter. It wasn't a bad review but they were concerned about Merle not remembering Carol when so far everyone else has on their first encounter. But this wasn't their first encounter. He recognized her at the bar when she first found them. Merle is very much first season Merle for now. He is stubborn and he is very self medicated. I do eventually go into Merle's POV so everyone can better understand what is going on with him. I can't put everything in one chapter. Just bear with me and I think you'll enjoy it more. Everything will come together, given time.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! **

**The Good Samaritan**

Chapter Thirteen

"Are you outta your goddamn mind?" Daryl glared at the man sitting behind the desk.

Carol thought it would be a good idea to consult a real estate agent to help them find the type of place they needed since neither of them had the first idea of where they should start looking. She hadn't been sure if they would find one on a Saturday but they learned quickly that Real Estate agents were eager people. To her they had lucked out but Daryl was not too happy with what the guy had to say.

Carol grabbed his hand and gave it a tug so he would sit back down in the chair next to her own.

The man looked a little nervous. Good. He cleared his throat and gestured for Daryl to calm down. All this did was make Daryl want to knock his ass out. "I assure you Mr. Dixon, you and your wife will not find a better..."

Daryl nearly choked on his own tongue as the blood rushed up into his face. "Wife? What the hell are you talkin' about? She ain't my wife." He shook his head angrily and then shot her a look. "Wife," he scoffed, "And you think this idiot is gonna help us?"

"Jesus, Daryl would you just shut up and listen to him for five seconds?"

He stared at her like she was stupid. "Are you really tellin' me to shut up right now when this asshole is tryin' to take ya for every damn dime that you got?"

"Daryl, it isn't every last dime that I have okay," she hissed.

His eyes moved back over to the man across from him. "Fine. Go on then." He gestured for the man to hurry the fuck up. He was ready to get out of that fancy ass office.

The man, Doug if the plaque on his desk was correct, gave them another one of those nervous smiles. "As I was saying. This really is a steal. It's been on the market for some time, which is good news. You can most likely get it for even less than asking price..."

"Which is some bullshit," Daryl grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Doug cleared his throat. "There are sixteen acres total, a barn that hasn't been used in a while but shouldn't take long to get back in working order."

"What about water? Does it have city water or are there wells?" Carol asked quickly.

Doug looked down, scanning the paper in his hands. Daryl watched him with his mouth closed, knowing that no matter what the man said the price tag for the place was too fucking high.

"Looks like there are several wells on the property but there is also access to city water if you would rather switch. Cob county is a lovely place..."

"Cob county?" Daryl asked, almost sounding civil.

Doug nodded. "Are you familiar with the area?"

Daryl shrugged. "Me and my brother met a girl from there once."

"Oh well that's nice. Everyone I've met from around that area has been a real pleasure."

Daryl snorted. "She was a pleasure alright. Till she gave my brother the clap."

He heard Carol groan and then she elbowed him hard. "You win. Go ahead and wait outside. I'll be out in a minute."

He wasn't going to waste any time. He left the office in a hurry. He put some serious thought into flipping off the secretary that was eyeballing him like he was about to steal her fancy pencil holder. People like this pissed him off.

When he pushed through the doors he was nearly knocked onto his ass when someone slammed into him as they tried to enter the building.

"Watch what the hell you're doin' dumba..." the words stuck in his throat when he found himself looking into a set of familiar brown eyes.

The last time he had seen those eyes they had been staring up at him, pleading, right before he blew the man's brains out. Dale. God, he never in a million years thought he would miss someone like him, but he had missed him a lot by the time they made it to the prison. He was so grounded and still very much human when by that time they had all turned into something much less than that. More like machines that focused solely on surviving.

"Excuse me, son. Are you alright?" Dale asked politely.

Daryl blinked stupidly as he stared at the man, trying desperately to think of a way to start a conversation with him, stall him. He finally realized what Carol had been trying to tell him all along. They could save them all if they went about it the right way. He wouldn't have to put Dale out of his misery with a bullet to the brain. He could live. They could all live. Finding Carol, or being found by Carol, was something that threw his whole universe off kilter, but seeing the others and knowing the burden that she had been bearing alone brought it all home for him.

"Son?" Dale looked worried now, his bushy brows furrowing.

"I'm fine," Daryl managed once he found his voice. "Are you alright?"

Dale gave him that ready smile. "Just fine."

Daryl watched him walk away, into the building he had just vacated. How the hell was he suppose to talk to the man? What was he suppose to say? No one was going to believe them. Carol would know what to do.

He kept his eyes on the door as he leaned against Carol's car. It didn't take her long to finally emerge. From the angry set to her lips she hadn't caught site of the old man. She stormed over towards him.

"I can't believe you treated that man like that." She looked pissed.

"Dale just went in there," he said in a rush.

"Did you say anything to him?" she asked, looking towards the doors. She must have forgot that she was upset. He'd dodged a bullet there.

"I bout cussed him out for plowin' into me. But then when I recognized him I shut my trap. I couldn't think of anything to say."

He was on the verge of freaking out and he knew it. This was too fucked up. He'd seen Dale die. He'd been the one to kill him. He'd seen the man's insides ripped to shreds by that walker.

"Calm down. We'll figure something out," she said soothingly.

He gestured towards the door. "This is our goddamn chance. If we lose him now then who the fuck knows if we'll ever find him again? He'll die."

She glanced at the door and then back to him. "Just follow my lead okay?"

"What?"

Just then the door opened and Dale stepped out. Daryl was looking at the man, not paying any attention to Carol so he didn't see it coming. She shoved him.

"What the fuck!" he yelled.

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, right before she started yelling. "If that's how you feel then go pack up your crap, Daryl! I'm done trying! Just get your stuff and get out of my house!"

She gave him a look like now it was his turn but he didn't have a clue what the fuck she was talking about. Well, until he looked up and saw Dale watching them with that worried expression on his face. Then he knew what she was doing and he almost ruined it by grinning.

"Fine," he threw up his hands, "Ya want me gone, I'm gone. Have a nice fuckin' life!"

Her back was to Dale for now so Dale couldn't see the look on her face. Those incredible blue eyes filled with tears, causing him to take a step towards her. She shook her head and winked, smiling brightly. Daryl looked over her shoulder and sure enough, Dale, the good hearted guy that he was, took a few steps closer. She was a fucking genius. She knew Dale wouldn't be able to pass up on the opportunity to help someone. Especially in matters of the heart. That was just Dale.

"You're just gonna throw away five years of our life over a stupid argument over a house?" she cried and then wiped her tears away as she turned her back to Daryl, arms crossed.

Dale looked as though he were having some inner battle but finally he straightened his shoulders and approached them. He was wearing that stupid hat. Daryl had hated that damn hat.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear..." he looked at Carol and smiled kindly, "I'm usually not one to pry but are you two okay?"

Daryl could have laughed. Not one to pry? That was hilarious. That's all Dale did was pry.

Carol dabbed at her eyes again. "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to cause a scene..."

Dale shook his head, his dark eyes shifting from her face to Daryl's. "No, no," he smiled and held up his hands. "I'm glad you did. Really. My wife and I were married for a long time and there were quite a few close calls. I know I don't know you from Adam and have no right to butt in but maybe if the two of you just took a breath and talked it out, you'd be able to work on it."

Daryl looked down at her, she met his eyes with a smug smile. He doubted Dale would know the look but he did.

"I'm sorry, Daryl. This man is right. We're being ridiculous."

Daryl nodded and then met Dale's eyes from over Carol's head. "You gotta name?"

Dale seemed to visibly relax. "Dale, and I suppose I need to be on my way now."

Carol shook her head and then touched his arm. The look that came over Dale's face was one of confusion. "Please," Carol said quickly, "Is there anything we can do to repay you for that advice?"

He patted her hand. "No need. Here's to five more years for the two of you." He squeezed her hand and then turned to walk away but she didn't let go of his arm.

"What about dinner? I- I could make dinner for you and your wife." Even Daryl could hear desperation creeping into her voice.

Dale looked her in the eye and then met Daryl's. "That's kind of you both but my wife passed a few years back."

Of course they both knew this but it wasn't like they could let him know that. "I'm so sorry, I didn't..." Carol began but he didn't let her finish.

He held up a hand to silence her. "You couldn't have. But I have a little bit going on. Selling the house and buying an R.V." He grinned. "I figure it's about time to see the world."

Carol nodded. "Of course. You take care. And thank you."

He walked away and Daryl rolled his eyes. "Why the hell did you let him get away? Now we might never see him again."

She frowned. "How was I suppose to know he wouldn't take us up on that offer? It's Dale for God's sake!"

Daryl watched as Dale got into a car. "Let's go." He hopped into the drivers seat and waited for her to get in, still not willing to be seen letting a woman, not even her, drive him around.

He pulled out, squinting into the sun as he followed Dale's car. He stayed back a block or so to try to make it less obvious. The last thing they needed was for Dale to spot them following him. "That was some good actin'," he flashed her a crooked grin. "Makes me wonder how many times you'd end up tryin' that fake cryin' shit on me if I hadn't saw it today."

"It never would have worked." She grinned despite herself. "What exactly are we doing?"

He nodded towards Dale's car a few blocks ahead. "We gotta figure out where he lives. If we don't then we might never run into him again and then he'll end up dead for sure."

The trip took a little longer than they were expecting. Dale lived in the next town over on a quiet street. His house was neat but nothing too fancy, just like he expected. They drove on past as Dale got a few things out of his back seat and headed into the house.

"Well, that didn't go as well as I was hoping," she said sadly

He absently reached for her hand across the seat but nearly jerked it away once he realized what he was doing. She held on firmly and a glance out of the corner of his eye confirmed that she had a determined set to her mouth. She wasn't going to let him settle back into his comfort zone. Whatever the hell that was anymore. He relaxed after a few stiff seconds.

"At least we know where he lives. Maybe we can try again sometime. We can stage a few run ins or some shit," he said absently.

They drove on in silence for a while and she still wouldn't release his hand.

"You hungry?" she asked suddenly once they got back into town.

He shrugged, secretly hoping that she wasn't going to try to get him to go to Rick's again. Rick and him were close but it took a lot of dreams to get them to that point. At the start of it he hadn't been fond of the guy at all and the feeling was probably mutual. He wasn't ready for that. Seeing Dale had been freaky enough. Seeing Carol had completely floored him. He needed a few days to get his head together. She had been able to ease herself into it a little better but he wasn't getting eased into anything.

Yesterday he had woken up and it had been a normal day. He'd had a lot of trouble shaking that last dream but other than that his life was still basically the same. _He _was still basically the same. And then she came along and everything had suddenly turned upside down. Everything he thought he knew about himself was wrong. The man he was in those dreams was real. Shaped and twisted by monsters and tragedy. Slowly shaped by her and her kindness and unwillingness to give up on him no matter what he said or did.

"Fuckin' starved," he finally said. He was starting to feel a headache coming on.

She directed him to a small pizza place on the other side of town. He groaned when he realized that she had every intention of going inside to eat. No carry out for Carol. He rolled his eyes as he got out of the car.

"You know this place delivers, right?" he asked as he came around the front of the car and joined her.

She nodded, a mysterious smile on her lips.

He remembered then. She told him that she had ordered a pizza the day she got out of the hospital and Glenn was the one that had delivered it to her house. "Glenn works here?" he asked, stopping her with a hand on her arm.

She nodded. "I figured maybe you would think of a way to..."

He groaned. "Me? Why the fuck do I gotta think of a way to get to the kid? You know how goddamn bad I am at this shit? Are you forgettin' everything about me?"

"I'm not forgetting anything about you. I know you can do this."

He huffed. He didn't remember her being this pushy in his dreams but she was sure as fuck pushy now. "And if I can't? We couldn't get anywhere with Merle, course you pullin' a gun on him probably didn't help anything there. We didn't get anywhere with Dale, other than followin' him home so now we know where he lives, which is creepy as fuck, by the way. Why do you think Glenn is gonna be any easier?"

She shrugged. "You and Glenn went through a lot. That has to mean something."

"Me and Glenn went through a lot because the world ended and by chance we ended up in the same group. It ain't like that yet."

"I think we have to at least try." Her eyes were large and innocent and he wanted to flog her and kiss her at the same time. She was impossible.

"Fuck it. Lead the way," he grumbled as he dropped her arm.

The place was small and pretty much empty except a few tables here and there. It was after one in the afternoon so most of the lunch crowd was gone. That was something, anyway. At least he didn't have to deal with a huge crowd of ass clowns. They sat down at a booth and he stared dejectedly at a menu. He hated places like this. He could have been in the woods right now, feeling much more free without his head feeling like a jumbled mess. But no. He was sitting in a booth across from an annoyingly smiley woman that seemed to find great joy in spending all fucking day putting him in different uncomfortable situations. It almost made him wish they were back at the damn prison. At least there she had her place and he had his and they met mutually in the middle. In this world she seemed to run the show and he had to try like hell to keep up.

"You two ready to order?"

Daryl glanced up and was relieved to see some girl that he had never seen before standing there with her pen poised over her order pad. He wasn't ready to see any more of them just yet but he wasn't about to tell Carol that since she would most likely argue with him. They ordered and then waited silently. He saw her eyes roaming around, glancing back towards the kitchen area but they didn't see any signs of Glenn.

"What if he ain't here? People don't work every day, ya know," he said as the girl sat their order down.

She shrugged. "We'll be eating a lot of pizza until we can catch him."

"Can't nobody call you a quitter, that's for sure," he said around a mouth full of food. She studied him for so long that he started shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"You're right. I'm not a quitter. Not anymore. So, will you please go with me tonight?"

He scowled at her. "You made me go talk to that asshole realtor guy today. You made me make an ass of both of us in front of Dale and now I'm sittin' in a goddamn pizza place like we're on a fuckin' date! No. I ain't goin'."

She scoffed. "This isn't a date. We're on a mission here, Daryl. We're trying to save lives."

"And you can go save Rick and Lori on your own. You don't need me for that." He tore off a chunk of pizza and chewed it miserably.

She sighed and looked down, her blue eyes growing misty. He narrowed his own, suspicious if she was playing him now like she had Dale earlier. "Are you going to go home after this then?"

He thought about that for a little while before answering her. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with Merle but that was something that he did need to deal with soon. He had to keep trying to get through to him so maybe going home wasn't a bad idea. On the other hand Ed might make good on his threat and show up at her house to see Sophia. So maybe he should be there just in case. Then again, everything was moving fast. Really fast. With the two of them in his dreams there had been a really slow build until he had realized that they were running out of time and he had had no other choice but to speed things up with them. He'd thought she was dying, or he was losing his mind. Either way, he'd done what he had done because of that. Now things were moving like a runaway train and he didn't know where his head was.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'll drop you off so you can pick up your truck and you can go home. Just call me tomorrow or something."

She was letting him off easy and he knew it and he felt like a prick because he was almost relieved. Until he started thinking about waking up without her in the morning. Even before things escalated with them, knowing she was going to be there when he woke up had become a very vital part of his existence at the prison. Or in his head. However you wanted to look at it. He figured it was only going to be worse here in the real world. God, this was fucked up beyond belief.

He didn't say anything as they finished up and left. Once they were back in the car heading for the bar where his truck was he couldn't help but keep glancing at her from the corner of his eye. There was no way he could do this but he had to try. For her, anyway.

"What time?" he growled as they pulled into the parking lot. It was about full now and he had a knot of anxiety in his stomach that felt as heavy as lead.

She looked at him curiously. "What time?"

"What time do we gotta be there?" he asked accusingly, like she was forcing his hand and he was dreading the hell out of it. Which he was, but it wasn't like she was forcing him to go. It was just that, for some reason, not going made him feel like a real asshole. This wasn't just her burden to bear and he was going to have to suck it up and do what he could to help her. He knew if the tables were turned she would do it for him with no questions asked.

The smile that broke out over her face made it almost worth it. Almost. He didn't want to do this. But he would. At least she seemed to realize that this was a hard thing for him. "You are the sweetest man I've ever met." She beamed.

He snorted. "Shut up." He got out of the car and waited by the door for her to make her way around. She stopped a few feet away and looked up at him from under her lashes. He didn't trust that look. What was she going to try to get him to do now?

"Thank you," she said quietly and the feeling that she put into those two little words really did let him know that she knew exactly how hard this was for him and she appreciated the effort. That made it all the way worth it in his book.

He shook his head, "Might as well get used to them assholes now, right? Postponin' the inevitable is pretty dumb."

She smiled again and almost knocked him over when she threw herself at him. She pulled his face down until her lips met his, giving him no choice but to put his arms around her and kiss her back even though, once again, anyone wondering by could see them. And just like earlier he stopped caring. As soon as his arms went around her it really didn't seem like such a big deal.

Eventually she pulled away but kept her arms around his neck. "Come over at five. I don't think we have to be at Rick and Lori's until seven."

"Then what do you want me there at five..." he didn't even finish asking, the look in her eye giving him all the answers he needed. His stomach did a strange flip as a combination of anticipation and nervousness settled in.

"Go deal with your brother. I'll see you later."

He nodded and watched her get into her car before he went to his truck. Dealing with his brother didn't seem so horrible now that he had something to look forward too later.


	14. A Beautiful Lie

**Hello! Here's another chapter. There is another familiar face showing up in this chapter. I hope you guys like it. It has a bit of a filler feel to me but that's just my opinion. Remember, I warned you that there were going to be more people from the same town because it wouldn't have worked otherwise. Thank you all for reading! Much love XD**

**A Beautiful Lie**

Chapter Fourteen

Carol felt exhausted when she got home. The past few days had taken a toll on her emotionally and last night had taken a toll on her physically. Her body ached but not in the way she had grown used too over the past thirteen years. No, this was a good ache, but an ache all the same.

She dropped her bag by the door and then headed strait to the phone to call and check on Sophia. Lori answered on the second ring, her voice causing Carol's heart to pound a little harder than usual. It would take a long time for her to get used to hearing it.

"Hi, Lori. It's Carol," she said brightly.

_"__Oh, I'm glad you called. I was just about to call you. Rick and Shane were going to take the kids fishing this afternoon, if it's alright."_

Carol had to remind herself that Sophia would be fine with Rick and Shane. This wasn't the Shane from the farm and neither of them would let anything happen to her daughter. "That sounds like fun. You not a big fan of catching fish?"

_"__I'm more a fan of eating them. I don't do worms," she laughed. "How was your first night alone? Sophia told us that this was her first sleepover. I hope you took advantage of it."_

"Oh, I did," Carol felt herself flushing. "I was wondering if it would be okay if I brought a friend tonight?" she held her breath and waited for the next obvious question.

_"__That's fine. I'm making plenty. You mind if I ask who this mysterious friend is?"_

Carol groaned inwardly as she remembered the looks Rick and Lori had shared earlier the day before when she had mentioned the Dixons. "I... er... Daryl Dixon." she cringed at the silence in her ear.

_"__Daryl Dixon wants to come over here for dinner?" Lori finally asked, disbelief clear in her voice._

"He's a really good friend of mine actually. He isn't really anything like his brother at all," Carol said in a rush.

_"__Are you sure?" Lori asked, clearly worried. _

Carol felt her defenses going up at Lori's tone. Daryl was viewed as some sort of hero at the prison but while they had been at the quarry Lori hadn't tried to hide her distaste for the brothers. She loved the woman but sometimes Lori had a real problem with removing the huge stick from her ass. Especially in the early days, which technically were now. "Look Lori, it isn't a big deal. I can pick Sophia up later and the three of us can go do something else for dinner. No worries." She did everything she could to make her voice sound cheerful but still indifferent, like it didn't matter to her either way.

Now she knew exactly why Daryl had been so against going with her. He still was, really. She could always call him and tell him that he didn't have to go. He was right. There wasn't any reason for him to be there at all. She already had Rick and Lori in the bag so why did she want him there? The sad truth was, she just wanted him with _her_, wherever she was.

_"__No," Lori said before she took a deep breath. "Sophia and Carl had been looking forward to this all day. I'm sure Rick wont mind."_

Carol was still unsure if she should just tell Daryl to forget it and go in on this one on her own. "Thank you, Lori."

_"__Just be careful, okay. I've just heard so much about them..."_

"I will. I'll see you at seven." She said quickly. They said their goodbyes and hung up. She was starting to get nervous. Daryl had really acted an ass when they had met with the realtor earlier and she couldn't help but wonder if maybe she had made a mistake in guilting him into going with her.

She made her way to her room and stopped in the doorway. The bed was completely stripped. Something she hadn't done herself, but that isn't what had her sighing out loud. In the center of the stripped bed was a picture. An 8x10 photograph in a lovely antique frame that a long forgotten friend had gotten her more than thirteen years ago. Her wedding photo. It had been tucked away at the bottom of her cedar chest for many years. She approached the bed slowly and picked it up, gazing down at a beautiful lie.

She looked happy. She had been happy. Ed was actually a decent looking guy then. Thinner, kinder. Not the monster she had met shortly after the picture was taken. In the picture she was gazing up at him adoringly. She felt an ache in her chest for the unsuspecting woman in the photograph. All of that woman's hopes and dreams were still alive somewhere inside her. The life that could have been. The life that _should_ have been. She had wanted a big family. She had wanted at least three children. That had been a dream of hers. She had had many dreams back then.

If this was Ed's way of trying to make her remember how it used to be he was sorely mistaken. Tears pricked her eyes as she looked at that woman's face and then that ache in her chest turned into something else. Something familiar and alien to her all at the same time.

She threw the picture as hard as she could against the wall. The glass shattered, like her dreams had done years ago, falling onto the bed and the floor.

She wanted him to stay out of her life but she doubted that would happen. If he really was filled with regret now that he had lost her then maybe that was for the best. Maybe he really would change now. But that meant nothing to her. She had moved on. She couldn't look at that man with anything but disgust, just like she looked at herself for letting him do the things he had done to her. She knew what it felt like now to have a man care. To have a man sacrifice just to make her feel good. She knew what love was, even if it wasn't something that she would hear Daryl say and it was definitely not something she would say to him. Talk about someone running in the other direction.

She opened her closet and stared at the clothes hanging there. Ugly shapeless blouses and dull outdated pants. She hadn't hung up any of her new clothes. She thought about wearing a dress but then realized she didn't own one. She started ripping the clothes off the hanger and angrily tossing them on the bed. More tears started stinging her eyes. She hated these clothes. She hated that picture. She stormed over to the other side of the bed and picked up the frame, ripping the picture out and cutting her fingers in the process. She barely even felt it.

She clung to the picture and grabbed the empty hamper from her closet floor, tossing the clothes inside and the picture on top. She ripped open the nightstand drawer and grabbed a lighter she knew would be there and stormed out the back door, tossing other things inside the hamper as well. Photos of them during the harder years. Other odds and ends that belonged to Ed. She wanted it gone. All of it.

She walked quickly to the end of the yard where there was a burn barrel next to the alley. She held up the photo by the corner with bleeding shaky fingers and set it on fire. She didn't drop it into the barrel until half of Ed's face was burned away. She slowly added the clothes and other photo's, frames and all, to the inferno. She stood with her fists clenched until it was nothing but smoldering ash.

She turned on her heal and walked around the side of the house. She didn't see the point in locking the door. The only person she wanted to keep out had a spare key. Without a second thought she got into her car. She didn't own a dress. How odd that something like that would set her off. But that hadn't been the thing to really set her off. It was that damn picture and knowing everything it stood for.

She wanted a dress. "And I'm gonna go buy a goddamn dress." She growled. When she looked at her hands on the steering wheel she cursed again. Her hands were a bloody mess and she had left her bag sitting by the door.

She hurried back into the house to wash her hands and grab a few band-aids. She groaned when she reached the door and heard the phone ringing. "Damn it," she mumbled on her way back to the kitchen.

"Hello?" she said unable to subdue the annoyance in her voice.

No one said anything on the other end. All she heard was silence. Probably Ed just seeing if she was back home. She slammed the phone down and headed back out. She needed to invest in a cell phone. At least for the last remaining months they would be able to use them.

When she got to the store she didn't get out right away. She was starting to feel a little foolish. What the hell did she need a dress for? She didn't. She was acting like a petulant child that had gone too long without getting her way. She felt ridiculous. But she was already here so she may as well get the stupid dress. Besides, once they were safe behind the walls of the farm that she was going to put a down payment on Monday morning, maybe she'd get to enjoy things like dresses more than she got to enjoy needless things like that at the prison. They would be a lot more free. Like on Hershel's farm before the herd showed up. But there wouldn't be a herd.

She removed the gun from her jeans and put it under her seat before she went inside. The store wasn't big but it was about all they had in their town. There wasn't a mall or anything so this would have to do.

She started looking through the racks, holding a few up and then putting them back when they proved to be too fancy or too bright.

"The one you just put back would look amazing on you," someone said from somewhere off to her left.

She looked up sharply, repressing a gasp. Amy stood there with a knowing smile on her face.

"The color and the cut. It's perfect," Amy said, taking a step closer. She had a name tag on. Carol had never had a clue she had worked there, but then again she wouldn't have. She had never been to this store before. She hadn't thought about finding Amy and Andrea yet. She figured she had enough to deal with trying to bait Rick and Lori and hopefully Shane after this. Plus she was hoping she could convince Daryl to figure out a way to get to Dale and Glenn. She hadn't thought any further than that yet. She hadn't known where to even look. It was so strange how everyone seemed to fall right into her lap.

"I don't know. It's a little..." she looked back at the dress.

"Trust me, Miss. I do this for a living." Amy quirked an eyebrow at her and then shrugged. "Look, try it on and if you hate it after that then whatever you do decide to get, I'll knock off five percent. You have nothing to lose."

Carol hadn't known Amy well but she did know that Andrea adored the girl and her death had been so monumental to her friend. It had caused her to give up on life and Carol knew she could save Amy and Andrea both. She held up the dress.

It was a dark purple number, not a color she would ever choose for herself, which was why she had put it back. It was too flashy for her, even though it wasn't very flashy at all. Amy was looking at her expectantly and then she remembered all of those awful clothes she had burned. Clothes Ed had made her wear. Clothes that made her feel like a hag.

"Screw it. You only live once, right?" She let Amy lead her to the dressing room and she shut the door firmly behind her. Of course there were one of those full length mirrors in there. She used to hate those things but it wasn't so bad now. She hurriedly undressed and slipped the dress on. She finally looked up at herself with a frown.

She had to tie it at the back of her neck and it left most of her back exposed which made her feel extremely free and extremely uncomfortable at the same time. The neckline came down in a V and it hugged her waist a little. It came down just above the knee, which wasn't incredibly short but it was shorter than anything she had been allowed to wear. She was extremely critical of her own body since she had spent years hearing about how bad it looked. The only time she seemed to feel comfortable in her own skin was when Daryl was around. But even though he wasn't around at the moment she couldn't help but admire the way the dress really did accentuate what she had without making her look like she was trying too hard. As much as she hated to admit it, even felt slightly guilty for admitting it, she really did love the way she looked in the dress. Showing other people was an entirely different thing however.

With a weary sigh she opened the door and stepped out. Amy's eyes widened and then narrowed as she took a step back and examined Carol to the point where she was shifting nervously from one foot to the other feeling completely ridiculous.

Amy held up a finger. "Don't move," she commanded as she hurried off to the back of the store. Carol stood there, feeling like she just may march right back into that dressing room, put her jeans and shirt back on and leave before Amy could come back. She didn't know why she stood there waiting for the girl.

Oh yeah. She was in charge of keeping her alive. Great.

When Amy came back around Carol frowned at her. She had a long necklace that at first glance looked like black beads but on closer inspection Carol realized they were more like polished stones. Sophia would have loved it. Amy surprised her by wrapping it twice around her neck and then letting the excess hang down just above her cleavage.

"You have an incredible neck and that just makes it that much more incredible." Amy smiled and then examined her handy work one more time before reaching for some shoes that Carol hadn't even seen her set down.

She was blushing and could tell, not used to compliments at all. The shoes looked amazing. They were black and strappy with at least a four inch heel. She'd break her fool neck if she tried to wear them. Amy shoved them into her hands.

"These are perfect and they are on sale," Amy beamed.

Carol wished that she could have ran into the girl somewhere else. She felt like she was indulging a child with a game of dress up wearing the dress, and she would feel even more ridiculous wearing the shoes. But she was going to buy whatever the girl pushed on her regardless of how stupid she felt wearing it.

She shrugged. "I'll take everything then."

Amy grinned. "That's good because I don't really have the authority to give you five percent off whatever you would have bought. It would have came out of pocket. But it was worth it. You really do look amazing."

Carol couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, you're good."

Amy winked. "My sister's a lawyer so I learned how to put all her smarts to good use while I'm stuck in this place and saving up to go to college myself. I can be convincing when I believe in my argument."

"You plan on being a lawyer yourself?" Carol asked before she went back to the dressing room to put her normal clothes back on.

Amy shook her head.

"Fashion designer then?" Carol tilted her head, a mischievous smile gracing her lips.

Amy laughed out right. "Marine Biologist."

Carol thought she might cry at hearing that. What dreams they all had. She thought of that wedding picture once more. She struggled but she kept the smile there, unwilling to let her emotions show as Amy unwound the necklace from around her neck and placed the shoes back in the box. Carol slipped into the dressing room and quickly changed.

Amy was at the register, already ringing her stuff up. She walked by a display table and stopped. She glanced up at Amy, who was watching her. The girl nodded quickly so Carol checked the sizes and grabbed two hand fulls of the sleaziest underwear she had ever seen in her life. Now that her sex life was existent, she may as well have some fun with it.

Her face felt like it was on fire by the time she made it to the counter and she was certain she never would have bought them if there had been even one more customer in the store or if it had been a sales girl that she didn't, somehow, already know.

She had an idea right as Amy handed her the bags. It was worth a shot. "I hate to ask but I was wondering if you knew anyone that would be willing to babysit a few nights a week? The pay would be good and it would be at my house."

Amy's eyes lit up. "How good?"

Carol smiled. Perfect. "How does fifty dollars a night sound?"

Blue eyes went wide. "Don't tell me... you have six kids and three of them are in diapers."

Carol shook her head. "One very well behaved twelve year old girl."

Amy bent down and came back up with a small notepad, writing something quickly and then tearing off the corner to hand to Carol. "Call me." She grinned.

Carol dropped the paper into her bag and grinned. "I will. Very soon. Maybe we can do lunch or something so the two of you can get to know one another before you start."

Amy nodded happily.

Carol felt great and couldn't stop smiling by the time she stopped by one last store and headed home. The house was blessedly empty. It didn't seem as though Ed had made any more appearances. She cleaned up the glass she had left in her room. She cleaned out her underwear drawer too, tossing all of the white cotton Hanes into the waist basket and stuffed the new ones in their place. She glanced up in the mirror and couldn't help but laugh at how red her face was.

After putting the new sheets she had bought on the bed she figured now was as good a time as any to get herself ready to go to Lori's. She was excited to see Sophia. It had only been a day but considering how much had happened it felt like much longer. And she was cutting Daryl loose. She was going to call him as soon as she got herself ready and then she would go to Rick and Lori's early to see if Lori needed any help with anything. After talking to Lori on the phone she knew that he had been right. They weren't going to accept him. It didn't matter that they didn't know him at all. She cared about him too much to put him through all that. She was a little sad that she wouldn't get to see him though. She had really been looking forward to that.

When she put on the heels it actually did complete the whole look. Maybe Amy was on to something. Other than the underwear she was wearing that didn't even cover her whole butt she felt pretty comfortable. Feminine. It was a powerful feeling. She dropped her gun into her bag and smiled at herself in the mirror. Powerful indeed.


	15. The Strangest Dreams

******Hi you guys. I have bad news. Earlier I spilled water on the keyboard and I think it really fried my laptop. So, I borrowed my brothers computer long enough to post this chapter for you. I'll try to get it fixed asap! I hope you enjoy it! Thank you all for reading and reviewing. **

**The Strangest Dreams**

Chapter Fifteen

Homeless.

How the hell had he managed to end up homeless? Because Merle was a big dumb jackass, that's how.

Daryl sat in his truck, in the driveway to the house that he had, up until about thirty minutes ago, shared with his brother. The only reason he lived with Merle to begin with was because Merle was an idiot and needed to be looked after. The man couldn't manage to keep himself out of trouble for more than half a year at a time and the only reason he wasn't in trouble more often than that was because Daryl was usually there to stop him from doing really stupid shit.

Daryl scoffed. Schizophrenic. Merle had actually called him a Schizophrenic. And the bad thing was Merle actually believed that it was true. Right now he was in there blaming himself for Daryl's mental disorder. He had told Daryl that it was his fault that he had lost his mind. He hadn't been there for him when he should have been. Of course, the only reason Merle was blaming himself was because he was drunk. If he'd been sober then they would have most likely ended up in a fist fight.

Merle had begged him to stay away from Carol but Daryl had refused. There was no physical fucking way in hell he could stay away from the woman. So Merle had made good on his threat from earlier. If Daryl refused to stay away from Carol and get himself evaluated then Merle was throwing him out.

"Here."

Daryl damn near jumped out of his skin at the sudden voice. "What the fuck, Merle!" he yelled through the open window.

Merle shoved a one hundred dollar bill at him. "Take it. I ain't gonna have you starvin' and shit."

"I ain't gonna starve," he shoved Merle's hand back out the window. "You need it more than me."

Merle shook his head. "I ain't the one gonna be wonderin' the streets all tweaked out looking for ghosts and shit."

"They ain't ghost. They're called walkers and they're corpses. You don't listen to shit, ya know that?"

Merle just stood there staring at him. "Well, do you think you and your woman's leader will take ya in? You ain't gonna have to sleep in your truck are ya?"

Daryl groaned. "I'll call ya later or somethin'." He shoved the money back in Merle's hand and then backed out of the driveway.

He didn't have anywhere to go and it wasn't five yet but he wasn't going to just drive around until then. He would just go to Carol's early and hope it didn't make him look like some sap that couldn't stay away from her for a day. He'd stayed away from her plenty of days back at the prison. But this wasn't the prison. This was real life and he needed to keep an eye on her. He knew that as soon as Ed got the chance he was going to make her pay for the things she had done today. She'd humiliated the man and Daryl knew men like that. They didn't let things like that go.

Her car was there when he pulled up in the driveway so he got out and forced himself to walk, not run, to the door. He should have called her or something before he came here. Too late to do anything about it now.

He didn't even have a chance to knock before she opened the door, her head down as she rummaged around in her bag for something, and nearly ran into him. He caught her around the waist to steady her and she nearly jumped away from him.

Once she realized that it was him she relaxed. "You scared me," she said as she took a step back. "I tried to call you but Merle told me to go to hell and then he hung up on me."

He tried to swallow but his mouth had gone a little dry. He'd never seen her dressed up like that before. He liked to think that things like that didn't really matter to a guy like him but that obviously wasn't the case at the moment. He watched her walk towards the middle of the living room and had absolutely no idea what she was saying. The dress she was wearing wasn't too clingy or too short but the way it hugged her waist and then sort of fell around her hips made it impossible for him to look away.

From the small of her back all the way up to the back of her neck was exposed and he'd never imagined that he could get this turned on just by looking at a woman's back. She looked at him over her shoulder once she sat her bag down on the table. A small frown forming between her eyebrows.

"So, are you relieved?" she asked as she turned around to face him.

His eyes followed the necklace from the top swell of her breast to her lips and then finally he met her eyes. Even her eyes seemed brighter, larger, the blue more blue then he had ever seen them before.

"Daryl?" she looked worried now and he realized he'd stopped listening to her again.

"Yeah?" he croaked, his voice was higher than usual so he cleared his throat and cursed himself silently.

"Did you hear anything I've said since you got here?"

He shook his head, knowing he couldn't lie and tell her he had.

"You're off the hook. You don't have to go with me tonight." She offered him a small smile.

"I don't?" he couldn't help but feel relieved but then the obvious question came to mind. "Why?" She'd been dead set on conning him into going so what had changed her mind?

She shrugged. "Cause you were right. It isn't gonna be easy for you and me expecting you to do things you don't want too just because I want you around is selfish."

He wasn't sure what to say about that so he just didn't say anything at all. She gave him another of those perplexed looks and then looked down, fingering the fabric of the dress.

"God, I forgot I was even wearing this. I feel ridiculous." The color rushed to her face. "I found Amy today and she talked me into buying it. I didn't get to know her well at the quarry but she really is something else. She talked me into it."

"Good," he heard himself say without thinking.

She grinned. "Really?"

He nodded, swallowed, and then shifted from one foot the other, not knowing what else to say and feeling self conscious that he didn't know what to do with his hands. He shoved them into his pockets. He knew what he would like to be doing with his hands but he didn't really know how to go about getting to that point.

She crossed the room and stopped in front of him. "Are you alright?" she asked, that frown in place once more. "I thought you would be a lot happier about not going."

He felt a little like he was having sensory overload and once she got closer it got worse. There was a subtle but intoxicating scent drifting off of her and that was apparently the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Or more like the final hint of sexy that broke Daryl Dixon's thinly veiled self control.

He took the final step that would close the distance between them, keeping in mind that he needed to calm himself down and grabbing her around the waist anyway, not even easing into the kiss, just going right for it. She gave a little squeak of surprise that turned into a soft moan as his teeth tugged lightly at her pliant bottom lip. He used the tips of his fingers to follow the curve of her spine, goosebumps forming on her skin.

All too soon she pulled her face back, breaking the kiss. "Daryl..."

"Hmm..." he grazed her shoulder with his nose.

"I... uh... told Lori I'd be there early to help out. I told her I was already on my way," she breathed into his neck.

He dropped his hands to her hips and brought his head up so he could look at her again. "Well fuck," he muttered glumly.

"I was gonna leave you a note to just stay here and wait for us to get back. If I knew you would like the stupid dress that much I would have definitely told her I wouldn't be there till seven."

There was no way she could be serious. She was leaving? Now? "But I like the stupid dress," he kissed her again and she didn't put up a fight about it. Not at first anyway.

"And I like that you like it but I told Sophia I'd be there and I can't just not go," she said, her breathing becoming a bit ragged.

That was about the only thing she could have said to kill the mood. The little girl was waiting for her mama and he wasn't going to be a dick head and try to keep her from getting to her. He dropped his hands and took a small step back, just so she wasn't pressed against him so hard. Her hands, however, stayed around his neck.

"Stay here, okay. I'll try my best to get out of there quick."

He shook his head. "She's comin' home tonight. I can't be here when she gets back." He wanted to stay. Hell, he didn't have anywhere else he could go, but he wasn't about to stay here and make things really fucking complicated for that kid.

"She's gonna have to get used to you being around, Daryl. Unless you plan on only coming around when she isn't here."

The look she gave him told him that she was actually worried he'd do just that. The truth was, he hadn't really thought about that. Hell, neither of them had had time to think about anything at all. "What the hell are you gonna tell her?"

She bit her lip and then dropped her arms. "I don't know, I figured maybe you'd come up with something."

Before he could even get the words out of his mouth she pressed a finger to his lips.

"Kidding. She'll be fine. I'm not planning on hiding you and didn't you get kicked out today?"

He frowned. "How'd you know about that?"

She grinned. "Merle Dixon doesn't make threats unless he intends to follow through with them. If he told you to stay away from me or you're kicked out then I'm assuming since you're here, you're kicked out."

He scowled, his mood cooling further. "I ain't gotta stay here. I can take care of myself just fine. I think I proved that enough by now." Was she inviting him to stay here because she thought that maybe he didn't have anywhere else to go? There was no way in hell he was going to stay here if it was because she felt obligated...

"I want you here," she said, her face growing serious. "You don't have any idea what it was like to wake up and think that the one person..." She sighed heavily. "You don't know how it felt to think that I wasn't ever going to see you again. I know you need your space. I know you don't need me like that. But I need you right now. I need to know you aren't gonna disappear." She swallowed hard and looked down.

Once again he had no idea what he was suppose to say about that. He did understand, at least a little. "I woke up to you gone everyday, so don't tell me I don't know what it's like, alright," he joined her in looking down at his boots, not knowing what else to say, surprised he'd said anything at all.

"So, will you?"

He glanced up. She was looking at him with a hopeful expression on her face so he found himself nodding even though he had no idea what they were going to say to her daughter. She kissed him quickly and then grabbed her bag.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," she said over her shoulder.

As soon as she was out the door he flopped down on the couch and ran a hand through his hair. What the hell was he doing?

~H~

She couldn't help but regret leaving him there. She was still feeling light headed from his unpredictable reaction. She'd never really felt very desirable to men before. Not in years. It felt good to know that someone wanted her. And he had most definitely wanted her. There was no secret about that. It had her feeling giddy.

She felt a hand on her wrist right before she started the car. She jerked her hand out of the grip, expecting to look up into Ed's angry eyes. What she found was Daryl's smirking face. "I'm drivin'." He said as he opened the door.

She grinned and hopped out of the car. "You sure?" she asked, hoping he was.

He nodded. "Ain't gonna promise I wont tell Lori to fuck off but I'm in. As long as that's what you want."

"That's what I want. But please don't tell Lori to fuck off," she caught his face between her hands, "Please."

"I done told ya, I ain't gonna promise a damn thing," he said, and she could tell he meant it. At least maybe he would still try.

She kept looking over at him on the way there. She had to give him directions. He didn't seem to be upset about going with her anymore. Of course, this meant that they would have to spend more time there than she had planned. Hopefully since she would be there to help it would be ready faster and they could eat and leave. She didn't know what she was going to say to Sophia. She had not a clue.

Once they got there Carol was happy to see that Lori, with a strange expression on her face, greeted them both warmly. She had the nagging suspicion that Lori felt that strange familiarity with Daryl as she had with Carol herself. Rick stared at him also but she didn't worry about Daryl saying anything to the other man because Daryl was doing the same thing.

The men regarded each other for a long time before Rick finally reached for Daryl's hand and then shook it for much longer than necessary.

"Carol, you look amazing," Lori said with a smile. She had Carol's hand and led her towards the kitchen. Carol hadn't wanted to leave Daryl alone with Rick but if she had to get through this on her own then surely he could too. Shane wasn't there yet so that was a plus.

Carol was comfortable in a kitchen. Any kitchen. It didn't matter who it belonged too. Lori told her what needed to be done, where to find everything and then, after handing her an apron, they both went to work. It was almost like it had been on the farm. They both fell into a comfortable groove as they prepared the meal.

Sophia and Carl were out in the back yard. Carol was eager to see the girl but she wasn't going to smother her, even if she really wanted too.

"Carol, I really want to apologize for earlier," Lori said as she leaned her hip into the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. "I instantly judged your friend and it wasn't right. I hadn't ever met the man and I don't like people thinking I'm one of those types."

Carol glanced up and shrugged. "I think it's just a natural thing to do. I would have done it myself before my accident."

Lori was quiet for a long time but Carol could still feel her eyes on her. When she finally spoke her voice was low. "Carol. Can I ask you a question?"

The tone of her voice had Carol looking up, frowning. "Sure. Is everything all right?"

Lori laughed, a little nervously but it died quickly, as did the smile on her face that was obviously forced. "Why do I feel like I know you already? You and Sophia both. Even Daryl."

Carol felt her pulse quicken. What should she tell her? They couldn't come right out and start discussing walkers and the end of the world. That hadn't worked out so well with Merle. "I don't know."

Lori met her eyes and Carol was surprised to see that there were tears there that were threatening to spill over. "I dreamed the strangest thing last night," she said as she dabbed at her eyes. "And it was strange because it felt so real. You and Sophia were there, Carl and Shane. There were even people there that I didn't know. And one of them was Daryl. Rick was... Rick was gone and Shane got Carl and I out of town." Her voice broke there at the end and Carol couldn't help but wrap her arms around Lori's thin frame. Lori hugged her back. "There were people eating people. We..."

Carol shooshed her and ran a comforting hand up and down her back. She didn't know what to say. Lori was dreaming the same thing Daryl had dreamed. She was seeing the life that Carol had actually lived.

"Have you said anything to Rick?" Carol asked as Lori as she pulled away.

"He woke up in such a weird mood that I didn't want to tell him. He's been jumpy all day. He even cut their fishing trip short. Him and Shane got into an argument over nothing. I don't even know if Shane is coming tonight."

"I think we should finish cooking dinner and try to enjoy our evening and forget about everything else for a while."

Lori gave her a weak smile. "You're right. I feel ridiculous even telling you about all this."

"Don't," Carol said quickly.

Lori nodded and turned to the stove, checking the roast. Carol's head was reeling at the news of this strange dream but she wasn't granted the time to dwell on it. Sophia and Carl bounded into the kitchen, laughing and carrying on. It was so good to see the smile on her daughters face.

When Sophia caught sight of her she stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening. "Mom! You look beautiful," she said as a different kind of grin graced her lips.

Lori glanced over her shoulder. "I thought the same thing."

Carol flushed and then busied herself with a pie crust. "Thank you."

Just then the men decided to make an appearance. Shane was with them and it was the same Shane she remembered from the quarry. This wasn't the tortured soul from the farm.

"Oh, Carol, this is Rick's partner, Shane Walsh. Shane, this is Carol Peletier," Lori introduced them as she wiped her hands on a towel.

Carol searched his face in case maybe he ,too, would act strangely upon seeing her. His gaze swept over her but there was nothing questioning in the look. He was simply a man that was meeting a woman for the first time. He gave no indication that she was a familiar face to him. "I gotta say, Carol. I'm damn glad to see you lookin' as well as you do. When we rolled up on that crash we wasn't even sure if you'd..."

"Shane!" Lori snapped.

Shane's dark eyes slid over and met Lori's then he flashed Carol a crooked grin. "I'm glad to see that you've made yourself one hell of a recovery."

Carol nodded, not missing the narrowed eyed look that Daryl was giving him behind his back. "It's nice to finally meet you Shane," she said with a smile and then offered him her hand. She watched him when he took her hand but still there was nothing but that cocky grin.

She looked up and saw the expression on Daryl's face then and she was instantly filled with guilt, until she remembered that she hadn't been the one to force him to come. He had spotted Sophia and from the looks of it Sophia had spotted him. She looked from one face to the other as they studied one another. He looked like someone had punched him in the stomach, Sophia looked like she was seeing a ghost.

What the hell was going on here?

"Daryl?" Sophia whispered after the rest of them noticed the pair acting so strange.

He nodded and his face softened slightly.

"How did you know that?" Lori asked in a near whisper.

Sophia didn't take her eyes off of Daryl. The air in the room seemed to grow thick, like a strange humidity that left a slight chill on their skin.

"I've dreamed about you. I was lost and no matter how far I ran I couldn't find my mom. You were lookin' for me even though you were hurt. You didn't stop looking until one of those things got me and... you..." To everyone's surprise Carl reached out and grabbed Sophia's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Lori had covered her mouth with her hand, tears threatening to spill over again. Rick had sat down heavily in one of the kitchen chairs, his hands clasped tightly together as he stared off at nothing. Carol had a lump in her throat the size of Ed's fist and Shane, well, he was looking at all of them like they were insane but he was smart enough to not say a word.

"Didn't do much good in the end kid. I didn't find ya in time," Daryl said in a voice that contained as much pain as Carol had ever heard before.

Sophia shook her head, the corner of her mouth turning up. "You did more for me than my daddy ever did his whole life. Don't forget that."


	16. From the Mouths of Babes

**The computer is up and running! I think the only thing that saved it was you folks and all the good vibes you sent me =) Anyway, thank you all for reading and reviewing. I hope you like this chapter! I've been a writing fool since I got my computer back so hopefully I will be posting for the other story tomorrow and if you're interested I have this one shot idea bouncing around my brain. It wont leave me alone. I was thinking about posting it within the next few days if you think you might want to read it. **

**From the Mouths of Babes**

Chapter Sixteen

Dinner was very quiet. Rick and Shane talked a little about their fishing trip but other than that the strange feeling that had came over them was still there. Even Sophia and Carl were quiet. Shane never commented on the weird atmosphere but he must have sensed it too because when Lori mentioned dessert he was too eager to leave the house to even have any of it.

"I'm gonna go ahead and take off. Rick, I'll see ya tomorrow. Carol, it was real nice to finally meet you." He nodded to Daryl and then left quickly.

Daryl couldn't say he was sad to see him go. That little scene that him and Sophia caused was making him feel a little uncomfortable now. But he didn't have to feel that way for long. Rick and Lori had been sharing meaningful looks all night and finally both of them settled their gazes on Carol. He felt her tense beside him and without a second thought about it he slipped his hand into hers. Of course, her hands had been in her lap. He doubted he'd have done it there in front of all of them.

"Carol, you have to tell us what's going on," Lori said after a few heavy seconds. "I told you about that dream I had and it turns out Sophia is having them too?" she looked at Rick with wide eyes and shook her head slowly, "And you. You had one yourself. That's why you were acting so strange this morning and then you and Shane spent the day arguing."

Rick met Daryl's eyes from across the table. It was like looking at someone he had known all his life.

Carol tensed next to him and squeezed his hand a little tighter.

"Carl too," Sophia said quietly from Carol's other side.

Carl shot Sophia a look but Sophia ignored it.

"Carl, I told you I would keep my mouth shut but this is kind of serious. We don't need to keep this stuff secret." Sophia admonished quietly.

All eyes were on the boy now. Lori and Rick looked even more freaked out than they had before. "Carl?" Rick urged.

Carl sunk a little lower in his seat. "Me and Sophia dreamed about each other before we ever even became friends. It was right after Sophia's mom had her accident. This whole time we've been friends, it's been because we've been planning on keeping each other safe. Those things you guys dreamed about, they're coming. Why else would we all be dreaming about the same things? If Sophia and I stay together then she wont get lost and then dad wont have to shoot her in the head when she comes outta that barn."

"Oh my God," Carol gasped and then covered her mouth with her hand.

"Daryl, have you..." Lori looked down at her plate before she even finished asking the question. When she looked back up he nodded.

"Started around the same time for me as it did them two," he said as he looked down at his plate.

"What does it mean?" Rick asked, sounding almost angry.

"The kids are right," Carol said simply. "Those things... those walkers are real. We have to prepare now or we'll just end up fighting to survive all over again."

Everyone grew quiet after that, lost in their own thoughts as Lori served the pie that her and Carol had been working on. It was probably good but Daryl couldn't even taste it. It sucked too because he loved pie.

"What about the others? What about Morgan and his son?" Rick asked after a long time.

Lori frowned. "I didn't dream about anyone named Morgan."

Daryl remembered then what Rick had told Lori the day they had went to Atlanta to get Merle. There was a man and his boy that had saved Rick's life in the beginning. "You showed up on your own. Morgan and his boy stayed."

Rick scrubbed at his face with both hands, clearly agitated. "I just can't see this really meaning anything. The things that I saw in that dream, that couldn't happen."

Daryl felt kind of bad for him. He knew how it felt. "Then how the hell do you explain all of us knowin' one another already? And it ain't just us either. Carol's the one findin' everybody. Dale and Amy, Glenn. All of us are out there."

Lori looked up quickly. "Is he serious?" she asked Carol, like he'd sit there and lie about it.

Carol nodded.

"I don't know who the hell you're talkin' about!" Rick said angrily.

"You will." Daryl said around a mouth full of pie.

Just then Lori's eyes widened and she stared at Carol. It didn't take long for him to figure out exactly what Lori was freaking out about now. If Rick kept dreaming just like Daryl and the kids had then he would soon know all about Lori and Shane. He was suddenly glad that him and Carol had a much simpler relationship, and maybe even a much deeper bond, since he couldn't imagine feeling about another woman the way he felt about her.

When he realized what kind of sappy shit he was thinking he scowled down into his empty plate.

"So what the hell do we do?" Lori finally asked.

"We get ready for it," Carol answered her quietly. "Monday morning I'm signing Sophia out of school a few weeks early and we're going to teach her how to protect herself. There's home school programs I can enroll her in so I won't have to worry about getting into any trouble. We've looked into buying a farm and plan on getting it secure. We can stock up on food and weapons. We can survive this. The two of you just have to accept it as truth."

"How are we suppose to believe this?" Rick asked, looking from face to face. "Do you know how crazy this sounds?"

"Rick, while I was in that coma I lived the entire thing," Carol said, her voice taking on an edge. "I lost my daughter. Daryl nearly died. His brother lost his hand. We lost Shane and we lost Lori."

Lori's hand went to her throat. "What?"

Carl's eyes grew hard. "You died when you made Maggie Greene cut the baby out of your stomach. I had to shoot you in the head to keep you from coming back as a walker," he said, sounding more like the boy Carol remembered. "We saved the baby but we couldn't save you. You or Sophia or Shane. Amy, Patricia. Morgan lost his son, dad, and then he lost his mind just like you did when mom died. Daryl was the only reason we didn't lose my little sister."

"Jesus Christ," Rick breathed as he covered his face with his hands. He looked haggard.

"It's true Rick. Everything he just said. I saw the same thing. Daryl too. From the looks of things by tomorrow morning Shane is going to be going through the same thing. It's hitting everyone."

Lori took a deep breath, trying hard to calm herself. "How long do we have?"

Rick looked at her, eyes wide. "You really believe all this?"

"Dad, if you don't start believing it then people are gonna die and it's gonna be your fault," Carl said quietly, like he almost expected it.

Lori looked from Carol back to Daryl. "So, you two are just going to pull Sophia out of school? And what? Teach her to shoot guns?"

"And track," Daryl said quickly. "If you keep dreamin' you'll feel the same way. Some of the shit we saw..." his voice trailed off. "You're gonna wish like hell you'd listened if you keep on tellin' yourselves that this can't happen. It's gonna happen. Now we gotta heads up and can save people. That's all she's tryin' to do is save the group." Daryl didn't miss the fact that Lori had bunched him, Carol and Sophia together like they were already a unit. He squirmed a little in his seat but he didn't comment on it or correct her.

"Lori, if you two need time to talk we can take Carl home with us. The two of you can work this out, but please don't ignore this," Carol pleaded.

Rick and Lori shared a look.

"Please?" Carl begged.

Finally Lori nodded. "We really do have a lot to talk about."

It didn't take Carl or Sophia long to get their stuff together, which Daryl was grateful. He was more than ready to get the hell out of there. It had been a weird couple of days for him and he really wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of the Grimes' house.

The kids were quiet as they drove down the dark streets. Even though he had been completely against it at first he was glad he had went with her. He never would have imagined that convincing Rick and Lori would be so easy. They probably weren't completely on board with all this craziness yet but they didn't have a choice but to put a lot of thought into it. That was something anyway.

"Do you think the same thing happened to Dale and Glenn? After seein' you, I mean?" Daryl asked in a low voice right before they pulled into her driveway.

She was looking out the passenger side window. "I don't know. Maybe." She turned and gave him a tired smile. "All this is giving me a headache."

He nodded. He knew the feeling. There were still a million questions that they didn't have an answer for but they would get through it eventually. At least it was proving to be easier than he had originally thought it would be. Somehow the whole group was just turning up out of the blue.

They made their way inside, the kids lagging behind a little. With their confession they seemed to have lost a lot of their steam. Those were some pretty intense secrets for them to be holding for this long. They were quiet now, walking close together, talking in low voices.

"Did you bring any of your stuff with you?" Carol asked Daryl as she helped Carl out of his backpack.

Sophia's head snapped up, "You're staying with us?" she asked curiously.

Daryl wasn't sure what he was suppose to say. The girl didn't seem too upset by the prospect but he didn't know what the hell the appropriate response would be. Instead of answering her he looked over at Carol, who only offered him a smile. With a shrug he watched the girl closely.

Sophia looked down and seemed to take in this new information before she looked back up. "You have another shot, you know. I'm glad you aren't wasting all your time."

He didn't really know what she meant by that but he nodded anyway. At least she didn't seem pissed off that he wasn't leaving.

"Sophia, why don't you go ahead and show Carl your room. It isn't too late for a movie or a game and then we'll get him settled in the guest bedroom," Carol said in a tired voice.

When the kids left the room in a hurry she turned to him. "You alright?" she asked, tilting her head to the side and studying him intently.

He nodded. She looked worried. That wasn't really surprising considering, but she looked more worried than usual. "What?"

"I'm waiting for you to realize that this is all too much and then leave," she said quietly.

His first reaction was to get pissed off. If he hadn't taken off on her yet then why was she still waiting for it to happen? And then he remembered the farm. After they had realized that Sophia was a lost cause he had gotten pissed off and moved his camp as far away from her as he could get. Of course that had a little to do with other things as well. The anger faltered as he realized he had really never given her a reason to believe he _wouldn't _run. He even left her at the prison when he had found his brother. She had no reason to have any faith in him at all.

He shook his head. "Ain't plannin' on goin' anywhere. Not till you kick my ass out."

"I never kicked you out of my cell. I don't plan on kicking you out of my house," the smile she gave him was a mischievous one. She went to the kitchen so he followed her.

He was unsure what he was suppose to do now that they were here and Sophia was here as well. Where was he suppose to sleep since she had given the guest room to Carl? He supposed he could sleep on the couch but he doubted he'd do much sleeping at all. She grabbed two glasses out of the cabinet and then filled them with ice.

"You wanna drink?" she asked, holding up a bottle of bourbon.

He nodded and she poured the amber liquid into one of the glasses until it was half full. He squinted at her. "You tryin'a get me drunk now? I done told ya I wasn't goin' anywhere."

She shook her head and surprisingly enough put the bourbon back on the shelf and poured herself some tea. "No, but I figure after the night you've had you might need a drink."

He snorted and took a long swallow. "Last night was a lot weirder than this."

She leaned into the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. "And here I thought you enjoyed all that. You could have told me that it was weird Daryl. I woulda stopped." She bit her lip to keep from laughing as he felt his face heat up until the tips of his ears were burning.

He scowled at her. "That ain't... shut up," shaking his head in frustration he downed the glass. This was their thing. She teased the hell out of him and he grumbled at her to shut up. It was strangely comforting. He stared down at his boots for a while before he looked up. She was closer than she had been before. The thought of what had happened the night before had him wondering about something else. "Where am I 'spose to sleep while I'm here?"

She frowned, all joking momentarily forgotten. "I never even thought of that."

"Ain't right to just crawl in your bed with your little girl home," he said as he sat the glass down on the table. "I'll take the couch."

She sighed heavily and took a step closer. He watched her, feeling that mix of nervousness and anticipation swirl around in his chest. "Fine. You can take the couch," she mumbled and then she actually looked like she was pouting, her bottom lip pushing out slightly.

Without another word he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her towards him, kissing her hard, causing her to gasp a little. He shouldn't be doing this right now. Sophia could come in and see them any minute but he was sure he would be able to hear the kids if they were headed towards the kitchen. So he deepened the kiss, slowed it down and then pulled her closer.

His hands trailed down from her hips to her thighs and he worked quickly as he slid the material up her legs. As soon as he felt her soft skin his self control once again crumbled. She seemed to have that effect on him. His breath came out in a rush when he moved his hands around and realized that whatever she had on under that dress was lacy, low slung on her hips and didn't do much to cover her ass up.

He hated to but he had to put a stop to this, but unfortunately she didn't have the same idea, her mind was obviously just as clouded with want as his was. She made a small sound in the back of her throat when he slipped his thigh between her legs, pressing harder against her. If they didn't stop now then he was going to be in a world of pain when they finally did.

He broke the kiss as quickly as he had started it and looked into a set of wide blue eyes. "Gotta go put some ice on it, woman. Can't be doin' anything like that," his voice was low and husky even to his own ears.

"Right," she whispered as she stepped back. "I need to get you set up anyway. We have a lot to do tomorrow."

The mood quickly faded as he narrowed his eyes at her. This couldn't mean anything good for him. She had said the same damn thing the day before when she had forced him to go with her to talk to that dumb ass realtor guy about that overpriced farm he was trying to sell them. Or sell her. She was the one with all the dough.

"I've seen that look a thousand times, Daryl. It isn't scary anymore," she said dryly as she crossed her arms over her chest again. "And besides, I think you'll like your job anyway."

He didn't trust her. "My job?"

She nodded and then risked getting close again, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Your job is to go to the gun show. Take your brother with you."

He frowned but his arms went around her instantly. "What the fuck for?"

She grinned. "Cause I'm sending you there to stock up. I figure if we hit up every one that we find then we'll be ready by the time everything goes to hell. It'll give you a chance to try to get through to your brother too."

"What about you?" He asked, still slightly suspicious. Surely he wasn't going to get away with doing something that actually sounded like fun.

"Me and Sophia are going to practice," she winked.

One eyebrow shot up. "Practice?"

"I'm taking her to the quarry to learn how to shoot."

He nodded. "Sounds good. Even though you ain't the best shot."

She scowled. "I'm not awful."

"You almost shot Rick."

She rolled her eyes and slid her hands to his shoulders. "I've gotten better since then."

"Mom?"

They jumped apart like they had been burned. He looked at the two kids standing in the doorway and then down at his feet. Sophia was wide eyed and Carl, the little jack ass, was grinning behind her.

"I was just coming to tell you goodnight," Sophia said quickly as a blush turned her cheeks pink.

He glanced back up and she was staring right at him, her face was unreadable. Standing behind her Carl was still smiling.

"I'll get you two settled in then. I need to get Daryl some blankets and a pillow."

"Why don't you just share a bed? You guys shared a cell and a bunk," Carl said as he glanced from Daryl back to Carol, a smug look on his face.

"Are you serious? Shut the hell up," Daryl growled.

Sophia shook her head. "He told me about it before. I knew about it anyway. Just because I wasn't there didn't mean I still didn't dream. I dreamed about the farm and the prison both. The two of you don't have to hide anything."

Daryl wanted the floor to swallow him whole until her words penetrated through the embarrassment he was feeling. He looked back up at her. "What do you mean you saw it all?"

She shrugged, "I saw everything but it wasn't like I was there anymore. I was just kind of watching."

"Okay, enough talking about all of that for now. Time for bed. Daryl, I'll bring you your stuff in a few minutes," Carol said hurriedly as she ushered the kids out of the room. She glanced back at him, an apologetic look in her eyes.

He gave her a nod and then watched as she left the room. He made his way to the living room after he was sure he wouldn't have to look at Carl. Sometimes he really wanted to kick that kid's ass. He knew that even if Carl didn't deserve it yet he definitely would eventually. He needed his ass kicked. He shouldn't have even been thinking like that since he only knew Carl from those dreams. Technically he was still the happy go lucky punk from the quarry. He wasn't the brooding violent man child from the prison. Maybe he wouldn't have to be if they could convince the kid's parents to get their heads out of their asses and start preparing for the end of the world. Dumb asses.

He sat down on the couch and kicked off his boots. He felt exhausted but he hadn't really done shit all day. He figured it was because of all the emotional bullshit he was still having a hard time sorting through. He still felt torn in half. He figured maybe this was what it felt like to have that split personality disorder. He was still himself but then he was someone else too. That other Daryl, the man he had been at the prison, that was a man who_ lived_ through a whole lot of shit. He was who he was because life tossed him into that world and he had changed there.

But him... he hadn't lived all of that. Not really. If he thought about it too hard it caused his head to spin. He couldn't focus on it too much because if he did then it scared the hell out of him. He was a believer in a lot of unexplained things. He believed in ghosts and aliens and big foot and chupacabras. But this? This was one of those things you hear about on talk shows and you know the people are full of shit. You know things like this didn't happen to people. But it was happening to him.

He sighed and then unbuttoned his shirt. He was about to lay down when he heard a sharp knock at the door. He stood up quickly and glanced towards the hallway where Carol and the kids had disappeared. He didn't see any sign of them so he went to the door. The only person it could be was Ed's stupid ass and he was planning on breaking the bastards jaw. He knew she wanted him to stay the fuck away from her and Sophia. The dumb ass knew he was there so Daryl didn't get why he would even bother.

He yanked the door open without even glancing out to see who was there. He was actually surprised at who he found standing on the threshold.

"Merle? What the fuck are you doin' here?" Daryl asked as he opened the door wider so his brother could come in. Usually he could tell if Merle was on something just by looking at him but the man looked stone cold sober.

"How ya doin', little brother?" he asked in that raspy voice of his.

Daryl shrugged and motioned for him to come in. To his surprise Merle did. Daryl shut the door and they stood there awkwardly for a few long seconds before Merle broke the silence.

"I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. Didn't want'cha to not have a place to sleep."

"M'fine, Merle," Daryl said as he sat back down on the couch. He didn't want to fight with his brother tonight. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. In Carol's bed. With Carol. He gazed longingly down the hall.

"You still goin' crazy?" Merle asked as he took a seat in the chair across from him.

Daryl sighed. "I ain't gonna get into this with you tonight Merle. If that's what you had planned then ya might as well go on home."

"It ain't," Merle said as he glanced around the room.

They both looked up when they heard someone coming down the hall. Carol walked in with a load of bedclothes in her hands wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt. She stopped in her tracks, eyes widening at the sight of Merle sitting there looking at her. At least the t-shirt was long, nearly as long as the dress had been but Daryl couldn't help but notice that she still blushed deeply.

"Hello, Carol," Merle said quietly, keeping his voice low and pleasant even though his eyes narrowed at the sight of her.

"Hi, Merle. How are you?" she said with a forced smile.

Daryl looked at his brother. "I'm gonna go to a gun show tomorrow mornin'. You wanna go?"

Merle tore his eyes from the woman and looked at him. "Ain't never been one to go covet, little brother. If I can't buy'em why the fuck would I go look at'em? And if I'm rememberin' correctly, your woman ain't one to hesitate to pull a gun on a man. I don't know if I feel comfortable goin' to a gun show with a psycho. Might not prove to be too healthy for Ol' Merle." His eyes narrowed as they flicked back to Carol.

Daryl was about to tell him to shut his mouth but Carol spoke before he could.

"I wont be there," she said quickly. She didn't sound like she was too upset that Merle called her a psycho.

"I 'spose I can tag along then. So long as _she_ ain't gonna be there," he grumbled.

Daryl snorted. "It ever cross your mind that if avoidin' _her_ is what you wanna do then maybe you shouldn't come over here to_ her _house?"

"Well how the hell else am I suppose to see you?" Merle glared at him like he couldn't believe Daryl was defending the woman.

"I don't know. How bout not kickin' me out in the first place, dumb ass."

"If you woulda just agreed on getting' yourself checked out I wouldn't have had too. You're both fucked in the head!" Merle snarled.

Daryl glared at Merle as Merle glared at Carol. "You really come over here to check up on me or did you come here to start some shit?" he asked his brother.

Merle shook his head, a rare look of defeat gracing his rugged features. "I'm worried about you. I didn't come here for any trouble."

Daryl sighed heavily, "You comin' with me in the mornin' or what?" he asked.

Merle stood up from the chair and looked down on him, his face unreadable now. "I'll be here in the mornin' then."

Daryl nodded and then watched as his brother walked towards the door.

"Night, Carol," he grumbled without turning.

"Night, Merle," Carol said, almost sadly.


	17. The Better Man

**Not too sure how I feel about this chapter but I do hope that some of you enjoy it! I wanted to post this before I fell asleep all over the keyboard. Don't laugh! It's happened to me before ;) Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Some of you have questions about Merle and some of them will be answered in the next chapter. I hope you all have a safe and fun weekend! Oh, smut warning for this one, just in case some of you kiddies wanna skip over it! **

**The Better Man**

Chapter Seventeen

He couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned on the couch. It wasn't that it wasn't comfortable. It was simply because she was asleep right down the hall in a big ass bed, alone. It wasn't even a physical longing. Well, it was, but that wasn't all. It was some sort of mental pull, urging him to go to her. He wouldn't even have to touch her. He just wanted to be near her. All of this made him feel weak and he hated that feeling but was still powerless to stop it. There was a small plug-in night light in the hall and the small refrigerator light was on in the kitchen but that had nothing to do with why he couldn't sleep either. The living room was still dark and silent.

He rolled back over onto his back and sighed. He felt mentally drained like he never had before in his whole life. It was like his mind was running and running and pushing itself to the extreme but he couldn't make it stop. Nothing he did would calm it all down in his head. One minute he would be perfectly calm and accepting of the fact that, yes, weird shit was happening and none of it made any sense, but it was the lot he had been given and there was nothing to be done about it but embrace it for what it was and do what he had to do.

Then other times he felt crushed by the immense pressure of it all. It was like over the course of just a few days he had been thrown into someone elses body, forced to learn their mannerisms and haunted by their memories and their losses. Sometimes he felt like running and not stopping until all of this was behind him. But then there was her. For months it had always came down to her. She was the reason he loathed those dreams and hoped for them to stop. He envied that other version of himself. Cursed him a thousand times for not telling her that he cared. For not telling her that he needed her. For not admitting that she was the most important thing in that place. And then in the cold light of day he would loath the fact that the dream was over. That once again she didn't get to really see what she meant to him. He was scared to death that the dreams would stop and he would never see her again. He was always torn, just like he was torn now.

None of it had made sense. It still didn't. But he was going to try to make her understand how much she meant to him. He was going to be a better man for her than the man in those goddamn dreams. The man in the dreams always let his chances slip away. For all the good in him he lacked the ability to reach out and grab hold of what had always been his for the taking. That Daryl had waited until it was too late to show her how much she meant to him. For all of that man's great qualities, he was still a little bitch in Daryl's book. Which meant that he was a bitch himself which pissed him off for thinking of himself that way. But it didn't matter. He wasn't going to wait. He'd fight through it and she would know that she was what mattered to him. It was time for him to grow up and be the man he knew he could be.

Seeing Sophia tonight and realizing she knew exactly who he was had filled him with awe. The way she had looked at him as soon as her eyes met his had caused his stomach to feel as though he were falling. She was the thing in those dreams that had brought him and Carol together to begin with. The little girl that haunted him like no one else other than her mother. She was alive and she was fine and he was going to get the chance to keep her that way. Just like everything else, he didn't understand why he felt the way he did about the girl. She wasn't his. He barely knew her but somehow, deep down, she was the key to all of this. He would probably never understand why but it was the truth. He knew it as fact, deep down in his bones.

He opened his eyes for the hundredth time when he heard a sound coming from down the hall. He stayed still, hoping maybe he wasn't the only one that couldn't sleep.

Still dressed in that oversized t-shirt, barefoot and rubbing her eyes, Carol looked almost like a little kid as she padded to the kitchen. It was strange because seeing her like that had the same effect on him that seeing her in that dress had. Fuck, was he turning into Merle?

He threw the blanket off and went to the doorway, leaning into the frame with his arms crossed. She had her back to him as she poured herself something to drink. He stayed where he was as she silently took a few sips and then rinsed out the cup and then turned around.

"Jesus!" she gasped as her hand went to her throat. "Don't do that!"

He raised his eyebrows but kept the grin off his face.

She blew out a breath and seemed to calm herself quickly. "Can't you sleep?"

He shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Nope. Been tryin' for a while."

"Me too," she sighed. "Since neither one of us can sleep..."

He really liked where this was going.

"We could watch a movie or something. That isn't something we've ever done before," she looked hopeful.

Well, fuck. He didn't like that as much as what he'd been thinking but he shrugged anyway. He could think of a whole lot of things they hadn't done yet that would be a lot more satisfying than watching a movie with her. He mentally scolded himself for even thinking that but he couldn't help it. "Wouldn't kill us to do somethin' normal before the shit hits the fan."

He took his spot on the couch once more and watched her as she got everything ready. Once she turned around and saw him lying there she put her hands on her hips. "Where am I suppose to sit?"

He didn't say anything but he did scoot himself into the back of the couch as far as he would go. She would either take the hint and lay there with him without him having to ask her too or she would sit in the chair and then he would lay there and try to sleep anyway. The smile that broke out on her face told him she knew exactly what he wanted and she didn't hesitate at all to slide in next to him.

In his dreams they had slept with their backs to one another but he remembered how much he had wished he could just turn over. When he would wake up in the mornings he would ask himself why he never had before and he never had an answer. As he slipped his arm around her waist and buried his face in her neck he didn't worry too much about what he hadn't done in those dreams. He was making up for it now.

He wasn't sure what kind of movie she had even put in because he fell asleep before it even started. He thought maybe he would dream but he didn't.

~H~

Carol felt his arm loosen around her waist and then his breath became slow and steady against the back of her neck. She grinned and then reached for the remote that was lying on the coffee table. She turned everything off and then rolled over settling herself against him, almost in the same position they had slept in the night before she had woken up. She pulled the blanket up over them both.

She was dead tired but was having no luck sleeping in her own bed. She tossed and turned and beat the hell out of her pillow, knowing that it wasn't the pillows fault she couldn't sleep. She couldn't sleep because she knew that he was right there in the living room and everything in her craved nothing more than to either force him to her room or crawl onto the couch with him so she could finally get some rest.

Now, with his arm around her, in the small space that was about as wide as their bunk in the prison, she felt her eyes drift closed. They were both in agreement that there wouldn't be anything happening while Sophia was there, but this was completely innocent. And apparently Carl filled Sophia in on everything she had missed, including how her and Daryl shared a cell, and a bunk. The girl seemed to be fine with it. There was a strange connection between Sophia and Daryl that Carol didn't understand. She couldn't help but shiver at the memory of that strange pressure that had weighed on them when Daryl and Sophia had locked eyes in Rick's kitchen. She nestled further into his chest, not worrying about the kids finding them there on the couch in the morning.

She was sleeping deeply, so deeply in fact that she wasn't dreaming at all so the sudden crash that filled the room with a booming sound and shook the windows had her sitting bolt upright. Being torn from a deep sleep like that was pretty terrifying. The first thing she thought was that she was somehow back in the prison and a herd had managed to break through.

She scrambled off the couch and looked around the dim living room. Daryl was just as quick.

"What the fuck was that?" he asked as he glanced around the room, alert and looking very much ready to take on any threat.

A blue flash of light lit up the windows, causing Carol to sigh in relief. "Thunder," she whispered as she finally let herself relax.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Thought it was a goddamn herd."

Carl and Sophia both scurried into the room.

"Mom? Did you hear that?" Sophia asked in a hushed voice.

"It was thunder, honey. You can go on back to bed," Carol said in a soft voice. She knew it was easier said than done. She was wide awake now herself so she knew the kids would be.

"Were you sleeping on the couch?" Carl asked as he glanced at the blanket that was hanging off onto the floor.

Carol caught Daryl's eye and then shrugged. "Fell asleep watching a movie."

Carl actually rolled his eyes but Sophia elbowed him.

"You two go ahead and go on back to bed, okay? We need to get up early and you both need your sleep," Carol said quickly as she ushered them back to their rooms.

She went into Sophia's room and watched her daughter climb into the bed. She couldn't help but smile. Once she was back under her blanket Carol sat down on the edge of her bed and brushed her hair back from her face. Sophia gave her a sleepy smile and then grabbed her hand, holding onto it tightly. Maybe she would be able to go back to sleep after all.

"Mom?" she asked in a tired voice.

"Yeah?"

"It isn't gonna be like it was before, okay? I know that everything is different now. Don't make Daryl sleep on the couch. He loves you and you love him back. I don't want the two of you drifting apart because of me. He's all you really had after I died."

Carol's breath caught in her throat. Those words sounded so foreign falling from her daughters lips. She had noticed a change in her as soon as she had come out of her coma but she thought that it was due to months of stressing out, wondering if her mother was ever going to wake up. That could change a child's outlook on things. But this was more than that. The things the little girl had seen in her dreams had actually aged her mentally and now that Carol really thought about it, physically as well. She no longer looked like the innocent little girl that Carol remembered. She seemed older and she seemed wiser and she also seemed very determined to keep Daryl Dixon around.

"Sophia, it's a little bit more complicated than that. You're only twelve years..."

"Mom, don't. I'm not a baby, okay," she said quietly as she took Carol's hand. "He's flighty. You have to keep your eye on him or he might disappear. I saw enough myself to know that." She grinned up at her and Carol couldn't help the laugh that escaped her.

"You're certainly not a baby anymore. And apparently you're pretty observant. I do need to keep an eye on him, huh?"

"You two are full of shit!"

Carol and Sophia both jumped when they heard Daryl's growl from the doorway. They shared a look and then both looked towards him. Carol laughed again. He was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at them both.

"Goodnight, Daryl," Sophia said with wide innocent eyes.

His own eyes narrowed further and he snorted in response before he walked out.

Carol, trying desperately to keep the smile off her face bent down and kissed her daughter lightly on the cheek. "I'll keep an eye on him. He isn't going anywhere."

Sophia nodded. "Now he won't for sure. He's so stubborn that he'll stay with us just to prove a point."

"Goodnight," Carol said with a shake of her head.

"Night, mom." She rolled over onto her side, her back to the still open door.

Carol turned off the lamp and made her way back to the hallway. She pulled the door shut and nearly ran right into a scowling Daryl. Glancing from him back to her daughter's door she made a quick decision and took his hand, leading him to the master bedroom at the end of the hall. He didn't object so she shut the door behind them. When she reached for the light switch to turn on the light he grabbed her hand and shoved her lightly into the door.

"So that's what the two of you think of me, huh? Some flighty asshole that's gonna bail out on ya as soon as shit gets bad?"

There was a dangerous quality to his quiet voice that contradicted the gentle way his nose skimmed over the delicate skin of her throat. She swallowed hard and then shook her head when she couldn't form any words.

"Smart thinkin' though. It's hard tellin' what I would end up doin' if you wasn't keepin' a close eye on me."

There was something in the way his voice sounded in her ear that had her actually squeezing her thighs together as heat pooled low in her body. Her hands were shaking and she didn't even know why.

"Is that what this is all about? Just you keepin' me close so I ain't got the chance to run?" he asked right before his teeth grazed the outer shell of her ear.

She didn't know where the hell this Daryl came from but she hoped like hell he didn't go anywhere any time soon. The smooth rumble of his voice was doing some serious damage to her senses. His hands moved slowly up and down her ribcage, his thumbs barely brushing the sides of her breast.

Her arms still hung limp at her sides and she struggled to keep her breaths coming slow and even.

"You plan on answerin' my question?" he asked, his voice even more hushed.

She shook her head once more and finally moved her hands, pressing them flat against his chest. His shirt was still on, only unbuttoned and he didn't seem to mind as she slid it off of his shoulders. "I don't think you'd run," she breathed when he bunched the night shirt up just like he had the dress earlier.

He didn't stop there though. He brought it all the way up until she had to raise her arms so he could slip it over her head and then toss it to the floor. She was wearing no bra and the chill in the room, plus this bold display from him, had her shivering there in front of the door. When he closed the short distance the heat of his skin on hers instantly chased that chill away. She was glad she had bought all those ridiculous pairs of panties because it seemed to be fuel for this strange version of the man who was proving to be full of surprises.

Finally he trailed his lips to hers and kissed her softly as he started walking backwards towards the bed, pulling her along with his thumbs hooked into the lace at her hips. She smiled against his mouth. When he finally reached the bed he kissed her briefly before sitting down. He pulled her until she was standing there between his legs.

The bed frame was high, conveniently making his head level with her chest and he wasted no time at all taking advantage of that fact. She gasped when his teeth met her flesh, her hands going to his hair as she arched into his touch. Thunder rolled on but she barely heard it. The room, even though she hadn't turned on the light, was still lit dimly by the streetlights behind the sheer curtains that covered the double windows.

It was enough to see by and she drank in every inch of him that she could see as she gazed down at him. The hard broad planes of his shoulders and the muscles in his arms, flexed slightly as they wrapped around her waist. He ran one calloused hand up her inner thigh, causing her knees to grow weak and her heart to pound hard. Once he reached the top he only hesitated for a second before his fingers started their slow exploration. There was something about that seconds hesitation and the slow pace he moved that was bringing her blood to a near boil. He was still young in many ways. He was a quick study though. He paid close attention to each small sound she made and was discovering that the female anatomy wasn't very puzzling at all.

He had discovered a spot that he realized was a good place to put his focus, his thumb tracing over it in small circles, causing the muscles in her legs and stomach to jerk. The course fabric separating her skin from his only added to the ache inside her.

The rain started then, a steady rumble on the rooftop. She twisted his hair through her fingers and tugged his head back to she could lean down and kiss him. His hand abandoned her as he hooked his thumbs through the lace again and then slid them down over her hips as she kissed him. She always seemed like the one that was the first to take off their clothes.

With his hands tracing over every part of her skin she couldn't help to shiver involuntarily and kiss him harder. He growled low in his throat and pulled her closer until she had no choice but to straddle his lap, shifting until her legs were wrapped around his waist.

She moved her body back just enough so she could slip her hand between them to try to get his pants undone but he grabbed her hand quickly.

"Hold on," he breathed as he pulled his mouth away from hers.

"What?" she whispered.

"Are you on birth control or somethin'?"

"I can't have anymore kids," she said quickly as she shook her head.

He let go of her hand and started kissing her again. It was funny that he chose just now to think about something like that. He hadn't been too worried about it the night before. Of course, neither of them had thought much about anything at all the night before.

Once she finally had him freed she wasted no more time adjusting herself over him. He was still sitting there on the edge of the bed and she was still wrapped around him so it took her a little longer than it would have otherwise but once she lowered herself onto him she lost her train of thought. Anything that didn't involve him and her and now didn't exist at all at the moment.

Their movements were awkward at first and they found themselves laughing quietly, until he found a deep rhythm by moving her hips himself. She gasped and then there was no more laughing after that. She snaked her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him harder. His lips were soft against her own, this kiss lazier than others they had shared.

The way their bodies were pressed together and the way he moved her slowly rather than keeping any kind of frantic pace had her nerve endings tingling after just a few minutes. Despite the chill in the room there was a thin sheen of sweat covering them and she couldn't resist. She moved her lips down his jaw to his neck, the salty taste of him sending her spiraling downward. Without noticing what she was doing she sank her teeth into the soft flesh there, stifling her cries as the pleasure started deep inside her and seemed to envelope her slowly.

He hissed at the feel of her less than gentle attention but she was too far gone to notice whether it was a good hiss or a bad hiss. He did stop with the slow movements, though. His fingers dug into her hips roughly but it didn't hurt, it only made what she was already feeling that much more intense. He moved her faster now, much rougher than before, the muscles in his shoulders tensing and bunching under her hands. A growl ripped from his throat when she felt him let go. She had enough sense to cover his mouth with her own, just in case. The last thing they needed was for either of the kids to hear them.

His arms went around her waist once they both finally started coming down and he pulled his head back slightly.

"You bit me," he accused in a hoarse whisper.

"I'm sorry," she breathed as she tried to hide a smile.

"Now Merle ain't never gonna let me hear the end of it," he grouched as he ran his hands over her back.

"Sure he will. I'll buy you a turtle neck. You can even cut the sleeves off. You'll look fine," she teased as she untagled herself from him. He laid back, keeping his hands on her hips.

"You got jokes, huh?" he asked as he gazed up at her.

She couldn't really see his face but she heard the smile in his voice. She shook her head solemnly. "Nope. I'm dead serious."

She tried to move off of him but he tightened his grip on her and refused to let her go. This finally caused her to laugh quietly as she struggled over him but it wasn't quite having the right kind of effect on him. Or maybe it was because she could feel that he wasn't really finished yet.

"We have things to do tomorrow, you know. Don't you think you need to get some rest?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head and then she almost cried out when he rolled her over. She was on her back, on the edge of the bed and he was somehow standing there between her legs. She stretched her arms over her head as he started moving into her once more. She had never wondered what kind of things this man would be capable of doing if he ever channeled that temper of his into something else. This was definitely something else and it was certainly something that she could get used too.


	18. A Wicked Witch and a Reefer Buzz

**Everyone has been so curious about Merle and I didn't want to make you all wait forever. So, here he is. Bless his heart =) I hope you all enjoy this one. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!**

**A Wicked Witch and a Reefer Buzz**

Merle hit the floor with a loud thud and then scooted backwards until the back of his head hit the wall. His eyes darted around the dark room but there was no one in there with him. He was fine. Slowly he raised his hands in front of him and then wiggled his fingers a few times. His breath rushed out of his lungs in a relieved sigh.

He knew it was nothing but a dream but it hadn't felt like one at all. Everything had felt very real. Everything down to the sun beating down on his head. The feeling of the drugs rushing through his system, fueling him on when those assholes thought they were going to tell him what the fuck to do.

Fuck.

He pulled himself up off the floor and made his way to the kitchen. He'd been able to taste the blood in the back of his throat from when that piece of shit cop had hit him. That was alright though. The mother fuckers knew who not to fuck with. He'd taken down enough of them for them to know that. Almost knocked that asshole cop clean out of his goddamn boots.

Merle chuckled as he opened a can of beer and downed half of it while he stood there in the light of the refrigerator.

Yeah, if that asshole hadn't gotten him while his back was turned he would have surely put a bullet in that black son of a bitch's brain. Those people were nothing to him and was nothing but shit to them. Just a bunch of no good pussies and pig fuckers trying to make sense of a bad situation. Looking down their noses at Merle Dixon. To hell with that. Given the chance he would have tossed them all off that goddamn roof and spit on their corpses while those fucking monsters turned them into lunch.

Well, maybe not the blonde. That bitch had a set of tits on her that caused his balls to ache. But that pig had to stick his nose in it and then ol' Merle was seeing stars. Stupid bastard hand cuffed him there to the roof.

The beer can abruptly fell from his fingers as a soft voice ghosted through his hazy brain...

_Rick left Merle cuffed to a roof in Atlanta and he cut off his own hand and was gone before you could get to him._

He stepped away from the beer that was pooling on the floor at his feet, his heart pounding hard and fast in his chest. That was exactly what he'd dreamed. But he had felt it. He'd felt the jagged teeth of that saw tearing into his flesh. He had felt every fucking bit of it. The sting of sweat in his eyes the ache in his body as the drugs started to wear off...

"That fuckin' witch!" he roared as he slumped into one of the wobbly kitchen chairs. He reached behind him and flipped the light switch. He stared down at his trembling hands, fear chasing away what was left of the killer buzz he had when he had gone to sleep.

What had that woman done to him? How could she have put that into his head? He didn't understand how she had put this curse on him but what he did understand was exactly why his baby brother had been so goddamn terrified. He stood up abruptly and paced around the small room. He had to do something to sooth his nerves. He needed something to take the edge off so he could actually think. He didn't have anymore of the good shit but he did have something that would do. Maybe the best thing in the world for this situation.

He grabbed one of the chairs and scooted it in front of the fridge, not caring that he ran it right through the puddle of beer that he had left there. He kicked the now empty can out of the way and then climbed up. Reaching to the very back of the refrigerator, behind some old mason jars full of nuts and bolts and nails, he finally pulled out a small ziplock baggy. Inside was some of the best weed around. He jumped back down, tore open the junk drawer right next to the drawer that they kept their good skinning knives, and grabbed a book of rolling papers.

His hands were still shaking when he started breaking up the fragrant buds. It took him longer than usual to roll it than it had since he was just a teenager, starting out on his dad's stash he had raided. He wished he had something stronger. Like a fucking horse tranquilizer. He was never going to be able to shake this creepy feeling. He was never going to want to go to sleep again. What the fuck was he going to dream about next?

He inhaled deeply, holding in the smoke and fighting the urge to cough, not blowing it out until he was sure his lungs were going to explode. He tried to clear his mind and not think about anything until the joint was burned down so low it burned his lips. He licked his fingers and pinched the end of it, dropping it back into the baggie and then returning it to it's hiding spot.

He sat back down and tried like hell to think of any way the woman could have done this to him. He was much more calm and it didn't take him long to realize that all it was was his nerves. He was worried about Daryl, even though when he had gone over to check on him he had looked like he was doing better than okay. What must had happened was his nerves were getting to him so bad that the shit that the woman had said had stuck in the back of his head and those shrooms he'd eaten earlier had warped his head a bit. That's all it was. She wasn't some kind of crazy sorceress and he wasn't having _visions _of the future.

This would all pass. He'd go on back to bed and he'd dream about something else or he wouldn't dream at all. And if he did then he was going to catch that evil bitch alone and have a little talk with her. Figure out once and for all what the hell kind of hand she was playing in fucking with the Dixon's heads. He wouldn't let her get away with it.

He still had quite a few hours before he was due to go meet his brother at her house. He was starting to think that kicking Daryl out of the house hadn't been the best idea he had come up with. He should have known that he would run straight to her and she'd let him right the fuck in. Daryl was too fucked up in the head to realize that all she was doing was ruining their damn lives.

He flopped down on the small bed and stared up at the ceiling for a while before finally drifting off to sleep. The pot must have done it's job of calming his nerves because the only thing he dreamed about was some little girl running through the woods. She looked vaguely familiar to him. She seemed to be terrified of something. Weird.

~H~

Daryl stared down into his third cup of coffee. He still felt bleary eyed. They never did go back to sleep after going to her room. She looked wide awake but he knew that she had to be just as tired as he was. He didn't feel like dealing with Merle today and he didn't want to go anywhere either since the rain was pretty much going to ruin her own plans. She had been planning on taking Sophia to the quarry and teaching her how to shoot out there but surely she wasn't going to do that with it pouring buckets outside. He'd be worried the whole time he was gone that Ed would show up. He knew that she thought she could take care of herself and he knew that she was right but this was Ed they were talking about. Not just any Ed either. This was an Ed that was worse than before.

The man hadn't just lost his house and his wife. No, he had lost a lot of pride too. First Daryl kicked his ass in the bar and then he comes here to find Merle's bike in the driveway and his and Carol's clothes scattered around on the floor. And then the stunt Daryl had pulled himself by kissing her like that in the parking lot of Kellie's bar while Ed watched. What the hell had he been thinking? Then of all people Merle had to show up.

"What's with the look?" she asked as she sat a plate of eggs and bacon down in front of him.

He glanced up at her and then tore off a piece of bacon and popped it into his mouth, shrugging. "I don't think you need to be here by yourself all day while I'm out with Merle. Ed's likely to show up."

"I already told you. I have things to do today too. I won't even be home." She sat down two more plates and then yelled for Carl and Sophia.

He frowned as he shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth. "The hell you mean you won't be home. You gonna take the girl to shoot in the rain?"

She sat down across from him and gave him a level look. "Do walkers stop prowling around when it's raining? She needs to learn how to shoot in the rain. It isn't always going to be sunny, Daryl."

He was about to ask her what the hell her rush was but just then the kids came in. Carl sat next to him and Sophia took the spot right across from him. Her eyes met his and held them for a few long moments. He had that strange feeling in his stomach again as he looked at her. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and he looked back down at his plate.

"You look like you spent the night on watch, Dixon." Carl said around a mouth full of food.

Daryl felt the heat rise in his face as he glared at the boy. "Shut up and eat your damn food," he grumbled.

He looked up once and saw that Carol was as red faced as he probably was. Good. It served her right. At least she didn't have to run around with teeth marks on her neck. He should have bit her back. He wordlessly dug in. The only sound in the room was the clinking of silverware on plates until someone knocked on the door.

Carol's head shot up and their eyes locked. He was hoping that he could be ready and out the door before Merle got there but it didn't look like that was going to happen. He got up and headed for the door before she could even scoot her chair out.

He almost wished it was Ed at the door. At least then he could just tell him to go the hell away. But he wasn't that lucky. His brother stood there shaking water off of himself like a wet dog.

"Mornin' little brother," he said, sounding pleasant enough. Daryl instantly grew suspicious. "Don't look like you got much sleep last night," he said as he narrowed his eyes, "Let me guess. You spent all night fallin' balls deep in love?" He snickered.

Daryl groaned and opened the door wider so Merle could come in. "Try to watch your fuckin' mouth, Merle. At least in front of her little girl."

Merle stopped and turned, a thoughtful look gracing his features. "I forgot about that. Looks like I need to be on my best behavior then."

"Morning, Merle," Carol said from the doorway to the kitchen. "If you're hungry I can fix you a plate."

Daryl watched Merle carefully when he looked up at Carol. His jaw hardened slightly and his eyes narrowed just a little but that was the only indication that he wasn't at ease.

"I 'spose I could eat. So long as you didn't poison it," he said in that pleasant tone that had Daryl's nerves on edge.

They followed her to the kitchen where the two kids were still eating. She went to the stove but Merle didn't sit down. He was staring at Sophia like she had two heads or something. His face was a little more pale than it had been a few seconds ago.

When Sophia looked up she nodded. "Hi, Merle," she said politely before taking a drink of juice.

Merle's eyes narrowed even more but he finally did make his way to the table, sitting down in the same spot Daryl had been sitting. Carl looked a little nervous as he looked up at the man but no one said anything else. Carol wordlessly put a plate down in front of him and then a cup of coffee. Daryl just wanted to hurry up and get this awkward shit over with. He hoped Merle didn't have any plans to act an ass in front of the kids. Neither one of them were very experienced when it came to dealing with them but he had to have been better at it than Merle was.

"I'm gonna go grab the rest of my shit. Hurry up," he said as he left the room. He didn't have to turn around to know that Carol was right on his heels. He was surprised she would leave the kids alone with his brother.

He had brought his stuff in earlier. He had forgotten that all his clothes were in hefty bags on the back of his truck but luckily nothing got too wet. He'd felt weird about it. It was like they were formally moving in together or something. It didn't help that both Sophia and Carl were both up when he did it, their faces smug as he hauled it all to Carol's room. He was barely able to flip them off in time before Carol came in but they had been troopers about it, refusing to tell her what the hell they were giggling about.

"Do you know what we'll need?" she asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and shoved his feet into his boots.

He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. Rifles I suppose. Might get pricey though if ya want me to get the good stuff."

She knelt down on the floor and reached under the bed. He watched her curiously. Surely she was smart enough to not hide money under there. When she came back up she had a duffel bag with her. "How much?" she asked quickly.

He shook his head. "Hell, I don't know. We're lookin at at least a thousand dollars a piece for anything worth a damn." He had gotten an idea in his head while he was in the shower earlier. If they were going to go all out and really do this, really prepare, there were other ways to go about doing it without drawing so much attention to themselves by loading up with guns in a place as public as a gun show. And this being the last day for the gun show to begin with, it was sure to be packed and the two of them buying high powered rifles was sure to draw some unwanted attention.

"I don't care. We have to have them," she said as she rested her hands on his knees. "This money won't do us any good in a few months anyhow."

He wasn't sure how she would feel about what he had to say next but he had to give it a shot. In the long run it would prove to be less of a hassle and probably cheaper than going about it the legal way. "You ain't worried about drawin' attention to ourselves buyin' a fuckin' arsenal at a gun show?"

She shrugged then ran her hands up his thighs a bit. He didn't think she was doing it to get any kind of reaction out of him but that isn't how his body took it. He stopped her hands with his own. She rewarded him with a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

He took a deep breath and then glanced towards the open door. "We can get'em another way. Merle knows people. Shit, even I know people. There's this MC he got in good with a few years ago and they mostly deal in arms. This could get done a lot quicker if we go that route." He studied her face and was surprised that she nodded eagerly, her blue eyes bright. "Merle's a felon so if anybody recognized him in a place like that it could cause a stir." He didn't know why he felt the need to keep explaining things to her.

"That sounds much easier. How much do you need?" she said quickly.

He was pretty shocked that she would go for something like that so easily. "You serious?"

She nodded, "We don't have that much time. We have to be ready. How much?"

"How much for what?" Merle asked from the doorway.

Carol stood up quickly, turning to look at him. She looked like she was about to say something but she just shook her head. "Talk to your brother about it. Talking to you is like talking to a tree. Except the tree is a better listener," she said as she tried to step around him.

Daryl stood up quickly when Merle's arm snaked out and caught her around the waist. She jerked away from him and spun around, glaring. "Merle, the last thing I wanna do is shoot you but I swear if you don't keep your damn hands off me that's exactly what's gonna happen."

He shut the door quietly and turned back around to face them. Daryl had moved himself between them. He loved his brother but there was no way he was going to stand around and let him put his hands on her. "What the fuck is wrong with you Merle?" He spat angrily.

Merle glanced towards the door once more, his face a mask of fury. He wasn't pretending anymore. Daryl should have noticed it when he had first showed up but Merle was good at hiding things. He wasn't hiding now. He was enraged. "Tell me how you did it, goddamn it!" he hissed. At least he was trying to avoid scaring the kids. That was one thing that Daryl had to give him. He was at least in control enough to not pull this shit in front of them.

"What are you talking about?" Carol asked, her voice laced with what Daryl could only assume was disgust.

Merle pointed at her angrily. "How the fuck did you put that kid in my head? And all that other shit, huh?"

Daryl and Carol shared a confused look and then both faced Merle again, not knowing what to expect from the man. "What kid?" Daryl asked.

Merle gestured wildly to the door. "She knows what kid I'm talkin' about. Her daughter. Last night I got cuffed to a rooftop in Atlanta and sawed my own goddamn hand off and then her daughter was there in the woods, runnin' like a scared rabbit. Now I sound just as crazy as you do," he said as he paced around the room.

"Listen, Merle, if something has happened we can talk about it, okay? It isn't what you think..." Carol tried but he cut her off in typical Merle fashion.

"Shut it. Just shut your fuckin' mouth. Don't stand there and try to tell me that you ain't played no fuckin' hand in this shit. You have and I know it," his blue eyes flashed dangerously. "Tell me how? How the fuck did you worm into our heads like you did?"

She shook her head and Merle took a step towards her. Too close.

Daryl shoved her behind him and glared. "Enough of the bullshit. You know somethin' is goin' down now. You dreamed it, didn't ya? It ain't her. She ain't doin' nothin' but tryin' to save us, you fuckin' moron. Stop fuckin' fightin' it. For once in your goddamn life, Merle. Think!"

Daryl couldn't remember ever seeing his brother so angry. And he knew that it wasn't really because of Carol. Not anymore. This was the kind of anger that stemmed from fear. People like Merle weren't accustomed to feeling fear and so he took that fear, which he would see as weakness, and transformed it into anger and hate. And that anger and hate was now pointed towards the only person he could blame. And it just so happened to be the only person in the world Daryl would ever actually hurt Merle over. He wouldn't let him touch her. Not when all she wanted desperately to do was save them all. Even Merle.

Merle turned those disgusted eyes on Daryl and it took everything in him not to look away. "I never would have thought you, of all people, would turn your back on me."

Daryl felt like the man had punched him in the gut. It wasn't the words that he had said. Merle would pull out anything to get to him at this point. It was the fact that he truly did believe that this was what Daryl was doing. "You're my brother," Daryl said gruffly.

Merle nodded. "Yeah, and she's the one that you're backin'. You can't choose pussy over kin and then call yourself a Dixon, Daryl. That ain't how this works."

The use of his actual name was what sealed that statement in Daryl's mind. "That's a real fucked up thing to say, Merle."

"You're makin' your choice. All I want is answers and look at ya. Standin' there guardin' her like a pit bull pup, knowin' full well that she's behind all this somehow. We're all the fuckin' family we got and you're gonna keep a watch on me and let her rip it apart."

Daryl shook his head. "That's bullshit," he spat. "You're doin' that yourself. You did it when we were kids and you'll do it again as soon as shit gets rough. It's what you do. I ain't doin' this no more. I ain't lettin' you dictate every goddamn move I make and then guilt me when I don't listen to you. You don't believe her? Fine. You wanna face them flesh eatin' fucks on your own. Fine. I ain't choosin' your ass over her again. Not when I know that you wouldn't do the same if the tables were turned."

Merle took a step back, his eyes widening. There was a silence that enveloped the room that was filled with tension so thick Daryl could swear he could taste it. "I guess we ain't got nothin' more to say then," Merle said after the silence in the room became nearly unbearable.

Carol finally moved out from behind Daryl but he stopped her from getting any closer to Merle. "Merle, please don't do this," she said in a soft voice.

Merle shook his head. "You win, woman. I ain't got no reason to be here no more."

"I'm not competing with you, Merle. Why don't you see that?"

Without another word he left the room. Neither of them said anything until the front door slammed shut.

He looked down at her and frowned at the tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry... I..."

"Ain't nothin' you did. It's just how he is," he said as he brushed a tear away with his knuckles. "Ain't much can be done about it. He's a stubborn jackass."

She shook her head. "You have to go after him. Tell him what you have too to keep him close. If he leaves town or something over this then you might lose him and that can't happen," she said in a desperate voice.

"He ain't never gonna get over me and you. You heard him. To him I just chose you over him and he ain't gonna get over that." He was scowling. What the hell did she want him to do?

"You have to tell him it's over. Tell him that you made a mistake. Tell him whatever you have too to keep him close," she said quickly as she grabbed his hand. "Daryl, I know that the man has his flaws but I also know how much you love him. We can't risk him taking off and then getting himself killed out there. You have to stay with him."

He understood what she was telling him but he wasn't sure if he could do it. And he wasn't sure she understood what it would mean if he did take off after Merle. "He wants me to stay the hell away from you, you know that. All it's gonna do is cause me and him to fight and..."

"Then stay away from me," she said suddenly as she placed her hands on his chest.

He scowled. What the fuck did she mean, stay away from her? "Are you outta your goddamn mind? We don't know when this is gonna happen. You could end up..."

"No. I'll be fine."

He shook his head. "You just want me to leave? Go after Merle and not see you again until the world turns to shit?" Surely she didn't mean that. That couldn't be what she wanted. He knew that no matter what happened, Merle would make it but not her. He'd lost her too many times already and it made him hesitant to even consider leaving her.

"I don't want you to go anywhere. I want you here but you have to go. He's going to keep dreaming and maybe, if you're there to talk some sense into him, he'll come around. We'll meet up in a few days. Just call me when you get a chance."

"What if Ed shows up?" he asked. He was grasping at straws but deep down he knew she was right. If something did happen to Merle then he wouldn't forgive himself and in a sense he probably wouldn't forgive her either. But if something happened to her he wasn't sure if he could stomach that. That would be too hard. Especially now.

"Then I'll handle it. Your only a phone call away. You can still do what you need to do. You can still get the guns we need. I'll work on getting a place."

"You're serious about this?" he asked, feeling defeated. He felt like he was being split in half, his loyalty to his brother battling his need to keep her safe.

She shook her head. "No. But we have to try. You have to go, okay? Like I said, maybe we can work something out and see each other in a few days or something."

"Sneak around? What the fuck, Carol! We ain't a couple of high school kids," he scoffed.

"Then tell him that you're coming over here. Tell him... just tell him you need to get laid or something and you're using me for... you know. He won't question that."

The serious look on her face made what she said even more hilarious. He barked out a laugh. "You're serious about this? God, and that shit would work too. He'd probably be fine with that," he shook his head. He didn't want to do this but she was right. He didn't want to lose his brother either. He just wasn't sure if he could really do it.

"We'll be okay," she said. It was obvious that she was having a harder time than she was letting on. It would probably seem ridiculous to anyone else. All he was doing was going home. But considering everything they had went through, it was a much bigger deal than that. The only way they knew each other was okay was by sticking together. This was big.

"I'll work on him, alright? I'll figure somethin' out," his voice sounded off, more like the softer spoken prison Daryl. He felt more like that man now than he ever had before.

She nodded and then reached into her bag and then shoved something into his hands. He looked down and then frowned. "What the fuck?"

"Just get the guns, okay? And anything else you think we'll need. Anything you can think of, just get it. There's more where that came from, just let me know when you need it. And as stupid as this sounds..." she smiled softly, "Please call me."

He sighed and then lowered his forehead until it was pressed against hers. She had given him a large stack of bills. "Alright. But if Ed shows up you best fuckin' shoot him. Don't give into his bullshit. The only reason he's tryin' so hard is cause he's blindsided. He actually thought you'd put up with his shit forever. Don't fall for it." A part of him was still afraid. He was afraid that if Ed tried hard enough that maybe she would reconsider how she felt about the man. She'd seen something in him before and it scared the hell out of him to think that what she saw then would rear its head and make her feel obligated to give the bastard another chance.

Her arms went around his neck and her lips met his in a quick kiss. "I should shoot you for even thinking something so stupid," she said in a quiet angry voice.

He was going to have to go and he didn't want too. He tightened his arms around her waist when she tried to step back and then kissed her again, this time wasn't quick. When she kissed him back it felt almost desperate. He really hoped it wouldn't be too long before he could do this again. Maybe Merle would pass out or something and he could come back tonight. For just a little while anyway. He wasn't going to wait days. He already knew that.

**Recap: I know what you're all thinking. Daryl would never just let his brother walk away like that. But this is a different kind of situation and don't forget that in the beginning of this story, Merle was alive. Daryl didn't have to put him down and so that changes things a little bit. Thanks again for reading!**


	19. Back to Square One

**Hello! Just so you guys know, I don't plan on keeping these two apart for very long so no worries there! I am not much of a dweller on the negative. I tend to shy away from stories like that so I definitely wouldn't be able to write one. Anyway, thank you all for reading and reviewing! You are all the best! =) Hope you have a great day!**

**Back to Square One**

Chapter Nineteen

She told the kids to stay in the house as she walked him to his truck in the pouring rain. He shoved a bag of clothes into the passenger seat and slammed the door, turning to face her. She wanted to cry but she put the breaks on her emotions for the moment. If she was going to be an emotional wreck over him leaving then she would save it for when she was alone. There was no sense in making him feel worse than he already did. She could tell by the look on his face, even blinking rain out of his eyes, that he did feel bad. But he needed his brother and his brother needed him and she would never even think about standing in the way of that. She was lucky that things had worked out as perfectly as they had. She had him and that was the important part. She expected this to be much harder. If Merle Dixon was the only one giving her trouble over this then she would take it gladly.

"You're soaked," he said loudly over the pounding rain. "You need to get your ass back in the house."

She nodded and then pushed his wet hair back, laughing because the last time she had done that it had been long. "I'll see ya around, Daryl."

He gave her a nod and then surprised her when he dipped his head down and kissed her. She had never been the type of woman to swoon over romantic situations or daydream about things as silly as that, but kissing a man, especially this man, in the rain sort of made her insides turn to mush.

When he finally lifted his head back up his eyes flicked past her towards the porch and then he groaned. She looked back over her shoulder and spotted Sophia and Carl standing on the porch, watching them with their heads together.

"Guess there goes keepin' secrets, huh?" he grumbled.

She shook her head and finally let go of him. "I don't think it was much of a secret to begin with," she couldn't help but grin. His face was flaming. "I think she's fine with it Daryl. No worries."

"That don't mean she needs to watch," he growled as he started around the front of the truck. "Stay safe," he said loud enough for her to hear and then he stopped in his tracks and glanced at her from over his shoulder, a crooked smile gracing his lips.

She shook her head and grinned before she turned around and headed towards the porch. Sophia and Carl were trying hard to keep a straight face but it didn't work. They both laughed when she tried her hardest to glare at them.

"Inside," she ordered, pointing to the door.

They hurried in front of her. She glanced back but he was already pulling out of the drive. She felt her stomach sink as he drove away. She didn't feel good about him leaving, even though she knew he had too. She just had to hope and pray that she would see him again soon. It wasn't like he was leaving the state or going on some far away trip. He was going home. She would be fine and so would he. She knew that they had plenty of time before the walkers came. But she didn't like to be away from him. She didn't like the thought that if something did happen sooner, if she was all wrong then he would be there and she would be here and anything could happen.

She shook her head and she pulled the t-shirt over her head. And slipped out of her soaked jeans. She needed to stop thinking that way. He would be okay and so would she and somehow he was going to be able to convince his brother to stop acting like an idiot. They would all be okay.

Carl and Sophia were already waiting by the door. Carl was planning on begging his parents to let him go with them to the quarry but Carol didn't think it was going to do the boy any good. They were close, they could be even closer now after another night and another dream but they were still having a difficult time with it. Who wouldn't? So she doubted he would get to go.

She made sure the door was locked, even though the only person she wanted to keep out had a key, and then ushered them out to the car in the pouring rain. She had already called Lori and told her they were on there way.

She was about to get into the drivers seat when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She spun around, knocking the hand away as she did and then gaped at the man standing in front of her. It wasn't Ed, like she had been expecting. It was Glenn.

"Glenn?" She said quickly, "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else."

He looked a little rough around the edges. Like he hadn't slept or something. "Carol, we need to talk," he said quickly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. "It's all gonna sound really crazy but I don't know who else to talk too and..."

She put her hand on his arm, stopping him. "I know. I already know. Would you mind following me. We can talk at Rick and Lori's."

His eyes went wide and he took a few steps away, running his hand through his wet hair. "It's true then? Lori? Lori and Rick?"

She nodded and then glanced behind her. Sure enough there was a small silver car parked out on the street in front of her house. The rain was coming down so hard she hadn't even heard it.

"I'll follow you," he said quickly and then took off. She got in but it was too late. She was soaked again. She shouldn't even have changed clothes.

"Carol, that was Glenn!" Carl nearly shrieked once they started pulling out.

"I know, sweetheart. He's meeting us at your house." She said as she glanced at the boy in the rear view mirror. Sure enough Glenn was right on her tail.

"So he knows too?" Sophia asked.

"He must," she said as she navigated the wet streets. She wished Daryl was with her. She was pretty sure he was looking forward to seeing Glenn. Like the others from the prison, they had bonded.

She pulled up far enough into the Grimes' driveway so he would have room to pull in behind her. She took a deep breath before she got out of the car. Glenn being here was a good thing. He was another one that Lori would remember from her dreams and maybe even Rick now. She felt sorry for Glenn really. She couldn't help but wonder if he had been dreaming about that world ever since the day he had delivered that pizza to her house. And then she couldn't help but wonder why her. Why was she the one causing all of them to see it? It didn't make any sense. She really wasn't anything special. Not now and not in that other world. Maybe she had been to Daryl, and was still, but that was him. She could almost understand that but not the others.

"Mom?"

She felt Sophia slide her hand into her own and give it a gentle squeeze. "You're doing fine."

She glanced at her daughter and smiled. How pathetic that the girl would feel compelled to try to make Carol feel better. She should have been the one comforting her daughter.

She nodded and the three of them climbed out of the car and then made a mad dash for the porch. Carol turned just in time to see Glenn climbing the steps after her. When he saw Carl and Sophia his face nearly crumpled and he ran his hand through his hair again. It almost looked like he was tugging on the wet strands. Poor guy.

Carol wasn't sure what to say to him. He was obviously having a hard time with this. The tears in his eyes were proof of that. She wanted to hug him and assure him that everything was going to be fine but she didn't.

"Glenn, are you okay?" Sophia asked softly.

He took a deep breath and then nodded quickly. "I'll be fine. As soon as I figure out what's going on."

Carl opened the door and they followed him inside. Lori and Rick were waiting in the living room. They both covered their mouths with their hands when they saw who was following them.

"Glenn?" Rick choked.

Glenn, who was apparently overwhelmed sat down heavily onto the chair by the door. He started shaking his head slowly. "This can't be happening. This isn't happening."

Carol knew that if Rick recognized Glenn now then his own dreams, at least, were still going strong. He would know about Shane and Lori eventually and she hated to think of the drama that it would cause. But she would worry about that later. Right now there was drama unfolding here and she couldn't waste her energy worrying about what would or would not happen later.

"Glenn, are you alright?" she asked as she sat down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

He looked at her and then up at everyone else in the room. They were all staring back sadly. "I don't understand how this is happening," he said quietly.

"Neither do we, but it is," she struggled to keep her voice as soothing as possible.

"Are there others? M-Maggie?" he nearly whispered the name.

Carol nodded. "I haven't found her yet but she's out there."

He put his head in his hands and groaned loudly. When he lifted his head again he looked a bit more calm. "Can you guys please explain what all of this means?" he asked, as he studied them miserably.

Carol met Rick's eyes and then Lori's. It seemed as though she was the one that was going to have to fill Glenn in on everything that was going to happen. Rick and Lori too since this was just as new to them. She suddenly felt very alone. In that moment she missed Daryl terribly.

~H~

He already missed her. He was such a pussy. He walked through the front door and grimaced at the mess that greeted him. Merle wasn't much of a housekeeper. Hell, he wasn't either but sometimes Merle could get downright nasty. It seemed as though every spare surface in the living room was covered in beer cans. He rolled his eyes at the mess in front of him.

He knew Merle was home because his bike was out front. "Merle!" he called loudly.

He heard the door to Merle's bedroom bang against the wall from the force he used to open it. "What the fuck are you doin' here?" He snarled as he came down the short hallway.

Daryl felt half sick. He wasn't going to be able to do this. But he did have to try. He needed to save his brother and if this was what he had to do to do that then he had to try. He shrugged. "You was right."

Merle narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "Right about what?"

Daryl knew that Merle wouldn't let him off the hook that easy. He was going to make this as hard as he could and Daryl was tempted to throw up his hands and walk right back out the door. The only thing that kept him rooted to the spot was the memories of how Merle was after Daryl had found him in Woodbury. He had saved all their asses, killing the Governor himself, and nearly getting himself killed in the process. That was the brother that Daryl needed to save. He took a deep breath and met Merle's eyes. "We're kin. She ain't... she ain't worth losin' my brother over."

Merle just stood there staring at him so Daryl left him to it. He went to his room and shut the door, dropping the bag down next to his dresser and then sitting down heavily on the edge of his mattress. He was still soaked but didn't care. He glanced around his sparsely furnished room and knew if he didn't get up now then he would just end up sleeping the whole day away.

He stood up and went to the window, peeking out the dusty blinds at the sheeting rain. This wasn't helping him get woken up at all. Turning he snatched up the bag and started shoving clothes back into his drawers. He wondered what Carol was doing at the moment. Had she taken Sophia to the quarry already? He wished he could have gone and watched. The kid was probably a quick learner and he was a much better shot than Carol was. Maybe next time he would take her himself...

He scowled and stood up. But that probably wouldn't happen because he had Merle to deal with so now he was stuck here instead of being able to help Carol and Sophia. He wished this was easier. He wished he didn't miss her. For a man that wasn't all too fond of being touched he found himself missing the feel of her hand in his. He even missed the way she got all bossy when he didn't do what she wanted him too. He scowled into the mirror. "You're turnin' into a big sap. Over a goddamn woman," he informed his reflection. His reflection had nothing to say back about the subject. With a sullen shake of his head he hunched his shoulders and was about to head back out in the rain to retrieve the money she had shoved at him.

Merle was sitting on his ass in the living room, beer in hand.

"Ain't it still early for that shit?" he grumbled on his way to the door.

Merle snorted and then took a drink. "Sure. If you're a pussy that can't hold his alcohol."

Daryl shook his head and stomped out onto the porch. He needed to invest in a cell phone so he could call her without Merle knowing about it. He could take some of the money and do just that but then he shrugged off the idea. What the hell was he thinking? He felt like a pathetic asshole. It wasn't going to kill him to go a few days without seeing her.

He reached under the driver's seat and grabbed the sack that he had stashed the money in. He didn't know how much she had given him. All he knew was that it was quite a bit. He'd be able to talk to a few of Merle's old buddies and then get his hands on some of the guns they would need. When he came back in Merle watched him carefully but he didn't say a word. He went right back to his room and slammed the door shut.

He counted the money quickly. It didn't take him long since each stack was bound and labeled with the stamp from the bank it came from. He stared at it, dumbstruck, before he shoved the stacks of bills into the inside pockets of the leather jacket that he hadn't worn since the weather had warmed up. He wasn't worried that Merle would go through his stuff and find it. That was one thing he was sure of. Merle knew that neither of them had anything that they wouldn't share with the other. Not until now anyway.

He didn't feel guilty because the money wasn't Daryl's and Daryl didn't have any right to share it with his brother since it wasn't his to share. Besides, Merle would be too quick to go spend it on drugs and that was the last thing he needed. He wanted Merle sober. He couldn't figure out why Merle wasn't getting bombarded with dreams like the rest of them had been. It had taken him a while but he had come to the conclusion that alcohol numbed the mind to the dreams. Sometimes he would drink himself into oblivion to avoid them himself. Especially at the beginning and while he was looking for Sophia. During that time he had started drinking more nights than not, to Merle's delight. He had enjoyed having a drinking buddy. Before the dreams Daryl hadn't drank a whole lot.

He needed Merle to remember the things that happened to him... or more like, he needed Merle to see what was going to end up happening. Things were already changing. They had already altered the events that would have happened just by talking to Rick and Lori. He was sure that Rick wouldn't end up getting shot and Shane and Lori wouldn't have a chance to be together. Not unless they were already having an affair. This thought really pissed him off for some reason. Rick was a good man that had tried hard to be a good leader and keep them all safe. Sure, he had made some mistakes but nothing that would make him worthy of a betrayal like that. Sure, Lori had told him that it had only happened because she was scared and she was alone but that could have been another lie. Daryl didn't trust her and he didn't trust Shane.

He recalled the drama that had unfolded even while they had all been desperately trying to survive. He hated to think of the mess the group would get themselves in if they were all prepared and nestled safely in some haven. He wasn't sure if he wouldn't rather face the walkers.

He made his way back into the living room and slumped down on the couch. The reception on their dated television was bad but not so bad that they couldn't watch it. Merle was watching a hunting show and Daryl couldn't help but glance towards the windows longingly. He wouldn't catch shit in a downpour like that so he couldn't even escape to the woods. He didn't need to do that anyway. He needed to keep a close eye on his brother and try to figure out a way to convince him that him and Carol weren't insane.

"How'd she take it?" Merle asked without moving his eyes from the screen. His tone only held a note of curiosity. There was no malice there at the moment.

Daryl shrugged. He wasn't too sure what the hell to say. If he had really told her that he couldn't see her anymore then how would she react? He really couldn't imagine himself saying it so it was hard to figure out what her reaction would be.

Merle finally looked at him. "Well, did she cry?"

Daryl frowned. He was pretty sure that if he'd honestly left her then she would have cried. She had looked like she wanted to cry even though she was the one that was making him leave. He nodded absently, figuring Merle would think she would have cried over it.

Merle grunted. "That's the curse of bein' a Dixon I 'spose."

Daryl rolled his eyes and slouched even further into the cushion. He wished there was something to do other than sit here and have this ridiculous talk with his brother.

"I knew she would be a wild one. You fuck as many bitches as your big brother here and you learn to read a woman from a mile away. I know the wild ones when I see'em."

Daryl grimaced but kept his mouth shut.

"I don't suppose you was smart enough to get yourself a partin' gift before you left her there, huh? You got here too quick for all that. Not unless you're one of them minute men." He chuckled.

Daryl felt his face heat up at that. They had been in her bedroom until after dawn. Daryl knew he was a lot of things but a minute man he was not. Merle needed to think that he'd had a change of heart. He needed to believe that Daryl didn't give a shit about her. He grunted and then forced a tight smile that he hoped was an imitation of Merle's.

Merle dropped it for a few minutes but Daryl wasn't lucky enough for him to let it go completely. "So, you really cut her loose, huh?"

Daryl picked up on the tone and sighed. Merle wasn't buying it. He didn't blame him for not buying it. All the shit he had said to Merle there in Carol's room was too much. Merle didn't trust him anymore. He wasn't a stupid man. Daryl had looked him in the eye and told him the he wasn't going to choose him over her again. He'd meant those words when he had said them and Merle had known he had meant them.

He was starting to think that this was going to be much much harder than he thought it was going to be. Keeping in contact with her wasn't going to be an easy thing. Merle was going to watch him like a hawk. He wouldn't be able to keep tabs on her the way he wanted too. He had to hope that she was strong enough now to protect herself from Ed because he had a feeling that he wasn't going to be around at all to protect her.

He had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"You gonna miss her?" Merle asked.

Daryl shook his head.

Merle eyed him and Daryl couldn't help but wish that Merle was as stupid as everyone thought he was. It would have made Daryl's life a whole lot easier. He was doing a lot of wishing today but something told him it wasn't going to do him any damn good.


	20. Tick Tock

**I swear I would have had this up sooner but I've had internet issues for the last 3 days and I haven't been able to do ANYTHING! So, I am so sorry that I haven't responded to anyone but that is why. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I swear, I am so nervous for the first episode tomorrow night that I have no nails left. It's horrible! **

**Not having internet to distract me did give me more time to write so I started this one shot and it's kind of my season four wish and I'll try to post it soon. I think you all will like it a lot. I really loved writing it but I haven't finished it yet. Hopefully tonight. Anyway, thanks for reading! You guys are awesome!**

**Tick Tock**

Chapter Twenty

Carol stood in the middle of the large living room, Lori at her side. Doug, the realtor, was waiting outside while she checked out the interior of the large farmhouse one more time. It wasn't even a farmhouse, really. It was more like an old plantation home. It was like something out of Gone With the Wind.

"There's plenty enough room, that's for sure," Lori said in a low voice.

Carol nodded. The place was pretty perfect but she just couldn't let herself feel excited about it. It had been four days. Four days since Daryl had pulled out of her driveway and she hadn't heard a word from him since. Not a quick visit, not a phone call. Nothing.

"There's all these extra rooms that can be used as bedrooms and it wouldn't take the men long at all to build more rooms up there in the attic. I can't really see us all needing a sowing room or a parlor," Lori laughed softly. "Those can all be bedrooms."

Carol nodded absently as they made their way up the staircase. It was true. They would all be able to live comfortably here. And their agent had been right. This place really was a steal. It was understandable why no one had bought it yet, though. It would take a lot to upkeep but her and her group didn't need luxury. They needed space and security. This place offered both. Or it would once they got to work on walling in the grounds.

"Are you okay?" Lori asked as she stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

Carol looked up and nodded. "I'm fine."

Lori shook her head. "No you aren't. You've been in a funk for the last two days."

"She's right." Glenn said as he emerged from the doorway that led to the attic stairs followed by Carl and Sophia. He had ridden out with her to see the place. He had actually not left her house since he had shown up in her driveway four days ago.

He had been a complete mess for a while but he was doing much better now. She had given him the guest room and assured him that it didn't bother her at all that he felt the need to be close to the others. She felt the same way. Sophia and Carl on the other hand had become even more dependent on one another than they had ever been before. The horrors they had shared with only each other had bonded them and now that the adults knew what was coming it made their fears more real. When they weren't together they were anxious but Lori and Carol both agreed that they couldn't spend every minute together.

Carol had been true to her word, signing Sophia out of school early and enrolling her in a home school program. In the mornings her and Glenn took the girl out to the quarry and taught her to shoot. Glenn was a godsend at times like that but Carol couldn't help feeling like she was being cheated. Glenn wasn't who she needed and then thinking that way made her feel guilty. She had told Daryl to go and fix things with Merle. She just couldn't help but wonder if she would have sent him back to his brother if she had known how hard being away from him was really going to be.

"Mom, maybe we should go see him," Sophia said as she took Carol's hand and walked into the master bedroom. It was massive. She was seriously thinking about having it turned into three more bedrooms.

She shook her head and couldn't help but smile a little. Of course Sophia would know exactly what was bothering her. "He has a lot on his plate now, honey. He'll come around when he can."

Sophia narrowed her eyes. "Daryl was right. Merle is just a big dumb jackass," she grumbled.

"Sophia!" Carol gasped. That was the last thing she had ever expected to hear out of her daughter's mouth. And she didn't even have Daryl to blame since he hadn't been around. At all.

Sophia looked like she hadn't meant to say that out loud. Carl and Glenn both laughed and even Lori looked like she was having a hard time keeping a straight face herself.

"Sorry." Sophia said as she let go of Carol's hand and grabbed Carl's. "Let's go check out the balcony again."

They hurried out of the room before Carol could say anything else. Lori gave her a soft smile. "I would trade places with you if I could. At least Daryl isn't talking to you because he isn't there. It's a lot easier than dealing with a man that acts like you don't exist while your sitting across the table from him," her voice was sad and distant and Carol instantly felt guilty.

"Lori, I'm so sorry. Does he know..."

Lori nodded quickly. "Of course he does." She blew out a breath as her eyes filled with tears. "I know I did a lot of horrible things. I don't understand now why I did what I did. I don't know if I was using fear as an excuse or if..." she shook her head.

Carol wrapped her arms around Lori and hugged her tightly as Glenn gave her a small wave and slipped out the door. Lori hugged her back and they stayed like that for a long time before Carol finally said anything. "You didn't do what you did because you're a bad person, Lori. Rick knows that. And really, you didn't do anything at all. Rick will see that. And once he realizes how bad it was after... after you were gone he'll come around."

Lori dabbed at her eyes and slipped her hands into her back pockets, her head hanging low. "I just feel like I've ripped my family apart already. I'm afraid I won't be able to fix this."

"We're going to be fine," Carol said, her voice strong.

Lori met her eyes and her lips turned up. "I'm so glad you found us."

Carol felt her eyes tear up and then Lori was hugging her again. Sometimes it was overwhelming, like now. All of this was happening so quickly and the bond that they all shared was already so deep that sometimes it nearly knocked her over with it's intensity. She loved these people now just like she loved them then. It didn't matter if she had only known them less than a week in the physical world.

They pulled apart and both laughed quietly at how emotional they were being. Carol called for Carl and Sophia and the five of them made their way back outside. There were still papers to be signed but the house was pretty much already theirs. She needed to figure out who to contact to build the walls. She wanted to get the ponds stocked and she needed to see about getting the barn ready for whatever animals they decided to purchase. She remembered how nice it was to have chickens on Hershel's farm so they were a must. Glenn had suggested having one of those steel buildings erected near the house so they could store the things that they were going to stock up on.

Glenn was planning on dumping his meager savings into Carol's account and it was something that Rick and Lori had been debating on as well. Carol had suggested that they just take what they could and buy whatever they knew they would need. Anything could prove to be useful. In theory it seemed simple enough but in all actuality it wasn't.

"I'll meet you at home," Glenn called as he got into the car with Lori and the Carl.

She wished that she was going home with them but she had a lunch date with Amy. She was curious to talk to the girl because she had been expecting her to act strange when she called her the day before but she had seemed as spunky as she had during their first encounter. She couldn't have been having dreams and Lori and Rick had both assured her that Shane was oblivious to what was happening also. She didn't understand how that could be. The things Shane had went through were horrible and she thought for sure he would start dreaming after meeting her and Daryl.

Doug told her that they could iron everything out in the morning and he was the next one to drive away. She took one more wistful look at the house and then climbed into her car. She had another meeting of sorts later on this evening that had her stomach in knots, but she would deal with that when the time came. If she didn't leave now then her and Sophia would be late.

When they pulled up at the diner Carol took a deep breath and glanced over at Sophia. "You ready for this?"

Sophia nodded. "Amy was always real nice to me. I hated that she died."

Carol studied her for a few long seconds. "Sophia..." she wasn't sure how to ask her this but she knew she had too. "Sophia, do you remember who else died that night. The night Amy was bit?"

Sophia met her eyes and nodded her head. "Daddy died."

Carol took a deep breath. "You haven't mentioned him coming with us. As a matter of fact you haven't mentioned him much at all since he left and I think that's something that we need to talk about."

"Mom... I don't want to talk about it yet. I know what you're gonna ask me and I don't know the answer."

Carol tucked a lock of hair behind Sophia's ear and gave her a small smile. "Okay. I understand." And it was true. She did understand. In all this insanity something that Carol hadn't thought of until recently was Ed. With all of his faults, and the man had many, she hadn't considered how it would have affected her daughter if she left Ed to die. She had never considered bringing him with them. That was opening up a can of worms that she didn't want to deal with. But she needed to talk to Sophia. He was her father and Carol needed to know what Sophia wanted.

She wasn't worried about Ed putting his hands on her again. He knew by now that something like that wasn't going to go unpunished now and when they all got themselves settled it would be even harder for him to do anything like that. Between Rick, Shane, Daryl and hopefully Merle, Ed wouldn't have a choice but to keep himself in check. But the thought of bringing him with them made her sick. The people she was trying to save were her family. They were people that she loved. Ed was someone that she could watch die and simply not feel.

They went inside and Sophia spotted Amy right away. She was sitting at a booth by the window, sipping at a Coke. She waved and smiled at them. Carol had to force herself to smile back. Things had been so easy with everyone else since everyone else was plagued with visions after meeting her. Amy looked fine, just like she had sounded on the phone.

"Amy, this is Sophia. Sophia, this is the girl I was telling you about," Carol introduced them as they sat down across from her.

Sophia offered Amy her hand and a shy smile. "Nice to meet you," she said politely.

Carol studied Amy as her and Sophia started chatting away. Sophia really seemed to impress the girl, which Carol expected. The thing about Sophia was, regardless of the situation, she was genuinely sweet. She had never been one of those kids that were prone to fits. Of course, Ed would have put a stop to that pretty quick. But even without the threat of her father she was still the same little girl.

Amy agreed to come over that evening to keep an eye on her. Carol wished that she had something more pleasant to do while Amy was spending time with Sophia but she didn't. She was going to meet with Ed. He hadn't bothered her at all since the last time she saw him but last night he had called. He was sober and he was polite. He claimed to be staying with a friend of his from the car lot where he worked. He had asked if she would meet him to talk about things and at first Carol had thought about hanging up on him. And that was when she realized that she had never talked to Sophia about how she felt about everything that was happening.

She had reluctantly agreed to meet him, in a very public place, and talk. He didn't bring Daryl up and she didn't either. If he knew about Glenn basically moving in he hadn't given her any indication. That didn't mean she was stupid enough to trust him. He sounded sincere but that meant nothing to her. Really the only reason she was so willing to meet with him was so he wouldn't come to the house and upset Sophia. That was one thing that she wouldn't tolerate.

Amy's phone went off and a smile lit up her whole face. She looked up quickly, "I'm sorry, I have to take this. It's my sister calling from Florida." She answered the call and Carol shot Sophia a look.

Carol paid close attention to Amy's side of the conversation. Normally she would have been more respectful than that but not now. The outbreak occurred right when Andrea had come up from Florida to pick Amy up. They were going on a road trip. They had been behind Dale on the road when everything became insane and they had all stopped. It had been later that the others had united and later still that the Dixon brothers had stumbled onto the group that had assembled at the quarry.

They would be able to pinpoint the time more accurately if Amy happened to mention when Andrea was coming up for their trip. When Amy finally told her sister that she loved her, Carol was dying to know when she was coming. It would be nice to not have to guess anymore.

"Sorry about that. I don't get to see her very often and when she calls I usually drop whatever I'm doing to talk to her."

Carol smiled, "Do you get to see her any time soon?" She felt Sophia kick her lightly under the table but she gave no indication that she felt it. She kept the smile on her face. At least until Amy answered her question.

"Three weeks," Amy said excitedly, her eyes bright.

Carol felt the smile fall from her lips and then she felt the blood drain from her face. Three weeks? That couldn't be right. They had to have more time than that!

Amy frowned suddenly. "Carol, are you alright?"

Carol tried hard to put the smile back in place but she failed. "I think I feel a migraine coming on. I'm sorry."

Amy shook her head. "No, don't be sorry at all. That really sucks. I've never had one but I hear they're awful." She made a face. "Go ahead and get some rest. I'll be there later, I have the address written down."

They said their goodbyes and Carol had to force herself not to grab Sophia's hand and run to the car. She had to find Daryl. She needed to talk to Rick and Lori. They had too much to do. Three weeks wasn't enough time. She tried to think of everything that still needed to be done but it seemed like such a crushing amount that her mind couldn't even process it.

"Mom, what are we gonna do?" Sophia asked, panic lacing her words. She was fearing the same things that Carol was.

"I'll handle it, honey. We'll be fine," she said quickly as they got back into the car.

Sophia didn't say anything on their way back. She was lost in thought, much like Carol was now. How could this be happening so fast? It didn't make any sense. None at all. They were suppose to have more time than this.

She drove Sophia to Rick and Lori's and dropped her off. She would pick her up later so she would be there when Amy came to babysit.

When she got home Glenn's car was there. She was relieved. She needed him to do her a favor. He definitely wasn't going to like doing what she was going to send him to do but she had to see Daryl. Maybe he would know what to do. They still had to build a wall and they still had to get food. She felt herself start to panic again but swallowed it down. It tasted bitter in her mouth.

Glenn was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels and looking bored to death.

"Glenn, you have to do something for me," she said in a rush.

He looked up quickly and nodded. "Sure thing. What do you need?"

She told him, causing him to groan. She didn't blame him at all.

~H~

Daryl stomped into the kitchen, eyes squinted against the sunlight streaming in through the single curtainless window. He hadn't gotten home until nearly five in the morning and he felt like he hadn't slept at all. There was coffee in the pot but it was cold now. He poured a cup of the stale brew and nuked it in the microwave. It burned his lips and tasted like reheated shit but he needed it.

He had to get a hold of Carol today. For two days Merle watched him like a hawk, just like Daryl knew he would and then when Merle finally cut him a little slack he had no choice but to get his ass in gear and get things in order to pick up those guns. He had lied and told Merle he was picking them up for someone else that hadn't wanted to get busted making the trip. He had told Merle that he was making a grand for the six hour round trip and wasn't about to pass it up. Merle had wanted to ride along until Daryl actually showed him the money.

But now he had the guns. At least some of them. It was good to have friends in low places because Loyd hadn't minded a bit to front him six of the rifles as long as he had the money to him in a few months. Sadly enough, Loyd would most likely be chow by then so he was getting six guns for free. He had rented a storage unit the day before, acting like he was going on a beer run for his brother. He'd damn near forgotten to stop and get the beer before he went back home. That was where the guns were stashed now.

He choked down the rest of the coffee and was surprised to see that it was already nearing two in the afternoon. He hadn't slept worth shit since he had been home. His bed was too small, too hard, too lumpy and too fucking empty for his taste.

Merle came through the back door and grinned like an asshole. Two men followed him inside and they all sat down at the rickety kitchen table.

These were two of Daryl's least favorite people. The one that was grinning at Daryl now was a fat piece of shit named Todd that had been a friend of Merle's for a long time. Daryl never could figure out why the guy was so damn fat considering the amount of speed he did. The other guy they all called Frog. He was short and skinny and his watery brown eyes seemed to bug out of his head. He gave Daryl the creeps.

Merle slapped Todd on the back. "Show me the goods, ya fat bastard. I been itchin' for this batch of shit for weeks."

Daryl rolled his eyes and turned away in disgust as Todd pulled out a small zip-lock baggy with a white powdery substance inside. He sat the cup down heavily. "I'm gonna jump in the shower. I ain't sittin' here all day with you all tweaked out."

Merle smirked towards Todd. "Don't mind him, he's been pissy all damn week."

"Fuck you," he grumbled as he stalked out of the kitchen. Once he was under the hot spray he braced one arm against the wall of the shower and willed the hot water to wake him up but it wasn't working. He'd sleep tonight, by God. He had tried. He had watched Merle almost as closely as Merle had watched him and it was useless.

He knew that Merle was dreaming those dreams. He'd be a nervous shaking mess in the mornings but he wouldn't comment on it. He refused to admit that they meant anything. He scrubbed himself quickly, the decision to end this today gave him a much needed energy boost. He would leave Merle the address for the house in Cobb County. He would know where to go once it all started. That was the best he could do now.

He was in his room, moving money from his coat pockets to the bag he had brought it in when he heard somebody knock on the front door. He moved faster but not fast enough. He heard Merle's heavy boots as he made his way to the door way to the door.

He opened his bedroom door just in time to hear Merle's yell. "Hey, little brother! There's some Chinese kid at the door for ya. You didn't dump Carol for this little guy, did ya?"

Glenn. What the hell would posses that kid to come out here?

Sure enough Merle was standing there with the door wide open and Glenn was on the other side, shifting nervously from one foot to the other. When he looked up and saw Daryl standing there he took an involuntary step back.

"Hey, where ya goin'?" Merle asked with narrowed eyes.

"Carol's," he growled as he headed for the door.

Merle stopped him with a heavy hand on his shoulder. "I thought you cut that bitch loose."

Daryl wasn't going to fight him. He shrugged Merle off of him and then shoved a piece of paper in his hand. It had the address and directions to the house that they would most likely be living in when everything turned to hell. "Changed my mind," he said quickly. "If anything happens get your ass to that house. I'll call ya in a few days." He said over his shoulder. He didn't look at him because he was almost afraid of what he would see on his brother's face.

He shut the door and stared at Glenn who was staring at him. "You ain't gonna try to hug on me or some shit are ya?"

Glenn shook his head slowly. "Wouldn't dream of it," he said in a strained voice.

"Good cause I woulda kicked your ass. What the hell are you doin' here?"

Glenn glanced at the door and then walked off the porch, stopping further away in case there were any prying ears. "Carol sent me. Somethings happened and she needs to see you tonight."

"She can see me now. I was plannin' on headin' over there before you got here. What the hell happened?" he felt dread settle uncomfortably in his stomach. "Did Ed do somethin'?"

Glenn shook his head. "No, he's stayed away. She's meeting him tonight."

Daryl stopped beside his truck and narrowed his eyes. "What the fuck you mean she's meetin' him tonight?"

Glenn started looking nervous again as his eyes shifted from Daryl to his feet. "I don't know. He called her and she agreed to meet with him."

The dread that had his stomach in knots turned into a tight ball of anger. So that was how this was going to play out? He stays away for less than a week and now she was going to run off and meet with the son of a bitch?

Glenn seemed to read his expression pretty quickly. "Crap, don't get mad. It isn't anything like that. She still hates the guy."

"Just tell me what the fuck is goin' on," he growled as he pulled open the door to his truck.

"She didn't say. She just came home kinda freaked out and told me I had to come get you. Whatever it is isn't good though."

Daryl frowned. "Came home? What the fuck's been goin' on since I left there?"

"I... uh... I moved in the day you left," Glenn said as he took a step back.

Daryl gaped at him right before he slammed the door shut and took an angry step forward. "You what?" He yelled.

Glenn held up his hands and backed away until he was leaning against his own car. "Jesus, Daryl! Would you calm down? It's me for God's sake! I sleep in the guest room!"

Daryl stopped and scowled at the man. Glenn was right. What the hell was wrong with him? It was _Glenn _for fucks sake. He was pissed over Ed and that wasn't Glenn's fault but he wanted answers and he wanted them now. "Get in the goddamn car. I'll follow you over there," he growled as he stalked back to his truck and started the engine.


	21. Ugly Reunion

**Sorry I was so late getting this chapter up. The real world called and I was super busy. I hate it when that happens cause I am generally a lazy person ;) Anyway, there is a point to this chapter so I hope none of you get too upset about it. I promise, it is heading somewhere. I hope you don't hate the chapter! Thank you for reading and reviewing! And have a safe Friday!**

**Ugly Reunion**

Chapter Twenty One

Daryl pulled in behind Glenn and shot a narrow eyed look at the house. He had a little time to think on the ride over and he realized that he was a jealous freak. And he didn't give a shit. If he had too he would act just like Merle. If she wanted to go see Ed then that was fine by him but he wouldn't be there when she got back. As petty and stupid as it sounded, that was the conclusion he had reached on the way over. It was his anger doing the thinking for him, he knew it, but at the moment it didn't matter. That was what he was going to lay out for her.

He got out of the truck and wordlessly followed Glenn into the house. All was quiet but he figured that she would be in the kitchen. Sure enough when he walked in she was there. He was about to launch into his already scripted tirade about how fucking stupid she was for even thinking that he would be okay with her going off on her own and meeting with the man that had beaten her half senseless throughout their whole marriage. But looking at her now all of that anger turned to vapors inside of him. She was more pale than usual, her blue eyes wide and even from where he stood he could tell that she was shaking.

"I'm gonna go ahead and go on to work now. You guys catch me up on what's going on later," Glenn said from behind him. It was clear in his tone that he was more eager to get away from Daryl than he was to actually learn what was up with Carol.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked, unable to stay in the doorway any longer. That look on her face scared the shit out of him.

"We aren't gonna have enough time," she said miserably as she wiped a stray tear away. "I thought we would but we won't." She leaned into the counter and looked down at the floor.

"What the hell do you mean, we ain't got time? Sure we have time," but he could tell something had happened that had made her change her mind.

"I had lunch with Amy and she told me that Andrea would be up here from Florida in three weeks. Three weeks is all we have. Remember? Andrea and Amy hadn't even had time to leave before the outbreak. They ran into Dale on the interstate and later found us. We only have three weeks and that isn't enough time to get everything we are going to need."

Her voice was broken. She had been so sure that they could all be saved and so sure that she could keep them all from living like they had lived in those fucking dreams. He didn't want to fight with her anymore. All the fight was gone from him. All he wanted to do was let her know that they would be alright. He closed the distance until there was barely a foot of space separating them. "Three weeks ain't as long as we thought we had but it's still more time than we woulda had otherwise. We can get this done."

She raised her eyes up to meet his but she shook her head. All that hope she had harbored was gone and it had him wanting to reach out to her, but he stayed still, hands at his sides. "Daryl, we can't find them all in just three weeks. We can't secure that farm and do everything that needs to be done. There isn't any time." She sounded so broken that it actually made his stomach hurt. Something occurred to him then.

"We ain't gotta go hunt them down. They're findin' us, alright? And if we get our asses in gear instead of standin' around cryin' about it then we can still do it. We made it a long time out there before and we didn't have a heads up about the walkers. We can do this."

"I lost my daughter. Rick lost Lori and he lost his mind. Carl lost himself. Hershel lost his leg. All of the ones that were killed, that can't happen. We have to keep that from happening."

"You can't play God Carol," he said in a rough voice. "You start focusin' on keepin' everybody else breathin' and you'll end up getting' yourself killed."

She finally looked up and met his eyes. "I sent Glenn because I didn't want to ruin any progress you've made with Merle. He doesn't know I sent him, right?"

He frowned. "Didn't make no progress. He's still in denial and I told him I was comin' here. Ain't no need in me tryin'. He ain't gonna come around. He's gotta see it for himself." This bit of news made her look even more miserable and she looked pretty damn miserable to begin with.

"Everything is turning to shit," she said with a sad shake of her head. She had had so much hope and he hated that she felt so defeated. And she said the word shit. She hardly ever cussed.

With a weary sigh he finally closed the distance between them, placing his hands on her hips and wondering what he could do to make her feel less defeated. It was true that they had much less time than they thought but it wasn't over. They still had some time. It was better than none at all.

"So, are you back for good or are you going to try to go back home?" She asked as her hands went to his shoulders.

He shrugged and then saw an opening to at least get her to crack a smile. "Looks like I best stick close since you don't even wait for a man to get all the way out the door before you move another one in," he frowned, remembering the exact reason he was so pissed off when he got here but not wanting to bring it up. Yet.

It worked. She smiled and then put her forehead on his chest. "Maybe if the man that left would have had the decency to call me then I wouldn't have been so eager to replace him with a Korean boy."

He scowled. "I was too busy spendin' your money and bondin' with Merle."

She lifted her head up and raised one eyebrow. "And what did you spend my money on?"

He shrugged again. "Told ya. I was bondin' with Merle."

"Meaning?"

He gave her a crooked grin. "Drugs and loose women."

She narrowed her eyes and fought back a smile. "Then I hope you caught the clap too."

He bit the inside of his lip to stop the laugh. He was caught a little off guard when she suddenly kissed him. This wasn't just a regular kiss either. This was a lot more than that. It came out of nowhere and his body reacted to that desperate kiss faster than his mind ever could. He trapped her body between himself and the counter, harder than necessary. Hard enough to hurt her for sure but he couldn't do anything about it. And she didn't do anything to make him want to stop either. Her arms wound around his neck and held him tighter, the kiss got deeper. This wasn't what he came here for but he wasn't about to stop. He tightened his grip and then lifted her until she was sitting on the counter. He yanked her closer and her legs locked around his waist.

She finally cupped his face with her hands and drew back. He gripped the edges of the counter and tried to calm down his thundering heart. "We need to talk. We have so much to do," she said breathlessly.

He nodded and then took a small step back so he wasn't pressed against her anymore. He agreed with her but kept his hands where they were. Her mentioning them needing to talk pretty much killed the mood but if she so much as touched him again his resolve would shatter. "Since you're in the mood to chat, ya mind tellin' me what the fuck you think you're doin' meetin' up with Ed later?" That worked. He was pissed off again.

She had the decency to avert her eyes and drop her arms from around his neck. "That's one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about."

Her tone of voice had him thinking the worst. This was where she would tell him that she had thought about it and she was willing to give the bastard another shot. His felt the muscles in his jaw clench as he ground his teeth together.

She didn't look up. "I haven't really talked to Sophia about it yet but I plan too. He's a lot of things but at the end of the day he's still her father and I can't..." she let her voice trail off.

"Spit it out," he growled, causing her to look up at him sharply.

"What am I suppose to do if Sophia thinks we should let him come with us? What if, after everything he's done, she can't find it in her heart to leave him to those things?"

"You sure you ain't worried about how you'd feel if you let him die?" he asked, refusing to break the stare.

The look that came over her face was a mixture of disgust and anger. "How can you even ask me that? Now? After everything we've been through, why would you think something so insane? I hate that man."

"Then cut his ass loose for good," he spat angrily.

"Daryl he's her..."

"He ain't shit to that little girl and you fuckin' know it," he nearly shouted in her face before he shoved himself away from the counter. "You need to think real hard about who this is about. You sure you ain't the one that's afraid to feel guilty? Cause if it is you, you got a whole lot of shit you need to sort out before..."

She hopped down from the counter and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him angrily. "Don't stop there. Before what, exactly?"

"Nothin'. Go ahead and have your little reunion if that'll help," he said in a low voice, disgust dripping from every word. He was pissed and he thought he had every damn right to be pissed. It wasn't that he was jealous... okay, maybe he was a little bit, but that wasn't all it was. Ed was a dangerous bastard and she knew it and it really did seem like she was the one that wasn't really ready to give up that old life.

"I can't believe you'd even say that!" She hissed.

"And I can't believe you'd be so stupid as to think I wouldn't say that," he yelled. "What the fuck am I suppose to say? Oh, go right on ahead and have a nice time with your husband. I'll be waitin' right here if you decide to come back tonight," he snorted, "You're a real piece of work, you know..." he closed his mouth then and inhaled sharply through his nose.

Fuck.

He needed to calm his ass down. He needed to let this go. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Keep going," she growled.

He took a step back as she took one towards him but the table was in his way and he had no where else to go. He had nearly used the exact same words on her that he had used that night she had came to his camp on the farm. The night she had officially lost Sophia. He had regretted everything he had said to her that night almost the moment he had said them. But as the words had tumbled out of his mouth, cutting away at her very will to live, he had felt justified. Now he just felt bad.

She stopped in front of him. "Don't censor yourself Daryl. Me and you both know that you aren't any good at that. I can take your accusations and I can take your crap. If you really think I'm so stupid that I would let that man worm his way back into my head then maybe me and you had this all wrong. Maybe all we are going to end up doing is hurting each other in the long run and losing the one thing we both had at the prison."

He scowled. "What?"

She stared at him and then shook her head angrily before trying to walk past him. Her words gave him that sinking feeling in his stomach. The one that he hated because it meant something really bad was coming. What could she have meant by that? He didn't let her go far. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back until her back was pressed against his chest.

"Tell me what the fuck you meant," he growled. He tightened his grip on her when she tried to struggle. He almost didn't want to know what she meant. Did she regret what they were becoming? Was she thinking that dealing with him was too hard and she needed to cut _him_ loose now to save herself the heartache of doing it later. Later, when they would be stuck together no matter what. Maybe this was why the man in his dreams had never done a damn thing to let her know what she had meant to him. Maybe he had known that it would have changed things and inevitably turned their relationship to shit.

"Just forget it. Let me go," she said, voice still laced through with anger.

"Tell me and I will. Do you think we've fucked things up? Do you want me to go back home?" He didn't believe that at all and he didn't want to go back but he wasn't going to grovel and beg either. If she didn't want him then she sure as hell wouldn't be the first person and he could live with that. What he couldn't live with was always wondering. She needed to say her peace now.

She stopped struggling then, leaning into him instead of pulling away. He still didn't trust her enough to let go of the grip he had around her waist. "You really don't have the slightest clue how much you mean to me, do you? How much you've always meant to me," her voice was barely there.

He stiffened and then finally loosened his grip. Rejection and pain were two things he could deal with. He was equipped to deal with that. He had been trained from a very early age how to manage with that. But he wasn't equipped to deal with what she was saying.

"And that bothers you. I know it does," she went on in a sad voice that had him wanting to shove her away. He didn't though. He just kept himself very still, waiting. He didn't even know what the fuck he was waiting for but he waited anyway.

How fucked up did a man have to be to not know how to deal with someone telling them they cared? He was so fucked up.

"What I meant was, I'll take whatever part of you you're willing to give. But if being with you like this destroys everything, maybe, to me, it just isn't worth it." Her voice was soft now, sad and it made his chest ache. "No matter how much I want it. No matter how long I've _always_ wanted it. I don't want to lose you over it. Not if it destroys what we had together then."

He was messing everything up and now he didn't know what to do to fix it. He didn't know what to say to fix it. He let her pull away but again, she didn't go far. She turned around and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"I'm gonna go pick Sophia up. I know you don't understand but I'm still going to ask her what she wants. If she doesn't want him to come with us then I won't go tonight."

He met her eyes but kept his mouth shut. He felt ill.

"Will you be here when I get back?" she asked quietly.

He thought about that for a split second but then nodded. She took a deep breath and then gave him a sad smile before she turned around and left him standing there. He had really managed to fuck things up pretty good. He felt like everything the two of them had managed to build had just crumbled around him and he no idea how to put any of the pieces back together.

~H~

She had to keep blinking tears away just so she could see to drive. What had happened? She had no clue how things could have gone so horribly so quickly. She had been so stupid to think that she could have everything. A safe place, her group, _him_. So much was going very wrong very fast and she couldn't stop it.

He had made her so furious. Why didn't he understand how much she loved him? Why did something like this have to turn into a fight and why did it have to turn him into that unpredictable ass of a man? She was so afraid they had made a mistake. They had gotten along perfectly in the prison. He was her best friend and he knew his place in her life. He knew then how much he meant to her and then everything had gotten very confusing there towards the end. He had taken it upon himself to take things to the next level because he had been desperate to keep her with him. And they had picked up in this world right where they had left off in that other one and that had to have been a very stupid move.

She pulled over outside of a farmers market and looked at herself in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy. She couldn't go pick her daughter up looking like such a mess. She didn't want to scare Sophia, for one, and for two, she didn't want to answer all the questions she knew that Rick and Lori would ask her.

She took a few minutes to compose herself. She thought about everything they had said to one another and still couldn't figure out exactly where it had all gone wrong. Maybe they weren't meant to be whatever it was they were. Maybe they really had messed things up by sleeping together. She hated to think like that. It wasn't just the physical part of them being together. She felt like a better person when she was with him. She felt different than she ever had before.

What the hell was she thinking? Of course things were going to be harder than they would be for anyone else. She realized then that it wasn't him and it wasn't really her either. It was fear. But what the hell was she afraid of and was she really going to let that fear keep her from the one thing that actually made her feel whole?

Jesus, they had really made a hell of a mess of things and she really wasn't sure what the hell to do to fix it. It was kind of like their very first fight and then she realized that she had never had one of those before. Not the way other couples did. A fight in her relationship had meant that she hadn't made dinner fast enough and so she ended up battered and bruised. He'd never even been in anything resembling an actual relationship before so of course something like this would feel like the world just ended for them both.

She almost wanted to laugh if she didn't feel so horrible for what she had said to him before she had left the house. As strange as it may seem this was extremely childish of both of them because when it came to things like this neither of them knew what the hell they were doing. And for her these feelings were so foreign and intense that it was easy to get scared and try to take a step back. God, she was the biggest moron on the planet.

She pulled away from the curb and made her way towards Rick and Lori's house . She would make it up to him somehow. And he was right. Ed was no good for Sophia and she needed to let him know that she had changed her mind. She wasn't even planning on calling the Ed. She was just going to stand him up. There wasn't anything that needed to be said between the two of them that hadn't already been said with fists and pain. He could rot in hell. She had better things to do than talk to him.

Things like fixing this mess with Daryl. Sophia would be fine. She was sure of it.


	22. Love Letters

**I felt guilty about you guys waiting so long for that last chapter so I am posting another. Not only that, I am eager to get to the real make up chapter ;) I have a feeling that you will all enjoy it a lot. Hope you like this one! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Have a great weekend!**

**Love Letters**

Chapter Twenty Two

He wasn't sure where he was going until he hit the highway and once he was sure of where he was going he wasn't sure what he was going to say when he got there. All he knew was that there was no fucking way he was going to sit in that house and wait for her to come back just so she could feed him more shit about how they were messing everything up.

He narrowed his eyes at the stretch of road ahead of him. They weren't messing up a damn thing._ She_ was. And if she was too goddamn chicken shit to take a chance on something then who the hell was he to try to convince her otherwise? If Carol Peletier wanted to act like a coward then that was alright by him. He was used to getting the short end of the stick because of other people. He was surprised at first but the shock wore off quickly. It was replaced by a dull ache. He felt betrayed somehow. Betrayed by the one person that he had always thought he could trust completely.

He talked a good game in his head but the truth was, he would end up trying to talk some sense into her eventually. He'd even left her a note before he left so she wouldn't worry. If he was ready to say to hell with her then he sure as hell wouldn't have gone rummaging through the drawers for a notebook and a pen. He would have left and stayed gone a few days just out of spite. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Just in case she would worry. He was so fucked. He felt like she had him by the balls. Now he knew why he hadn't ever gotten involved in any crazy ass relationships before. They fucked with a man's head and turned him into a pussy.

He was only a mile or so from the exit when he saw something that surprised him up ahead. Again he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as he drove closer. Surely it wasn't what he thought it was.

There, on the side of the road, sat a familiar site. Dales R.V. And sure enough, coming around the side of it, was Dale. There was no way this was going to be this easy. He knew what had happened. It was that damn radiator hose. He would have bet his ass on it. He slowed the truck down and pulled off the road, parking in front of the R.V.

He had been heading to Dale's house to begin with. He hadn't put much thought into what he would say to the man but now it looked like he didn't have too. What he had said to Carol was confirmed. Dale had just fallen right into his lap. He almost couldn't believe it.

Dale poked his head around the side and grimaced until recognition had him smiling grimly. "What are the odds of this happening?" he asked as Daryl approached.

Daryl nodded. "Pretty weird. You break down?" He waited to see if Dale would give any indication that he, just like everyone else, remembered Daryl from a place other than in front of the realtor's office the other day. He was a bit surprised when Dale didn't let on like anything strange was happening.

Dale's smile turned genuine. "Nah," he wrinkled his nose and glanced at the front of the R.V. "Just figured it looked like a good time to pull on off to the side of the road and enjoy the sights. Daryl, isn't it?"

Daryl scowled. Dale was a smart ass. "Yep. You know what's wrong with it?"

Dale frowned and took off his stupid hat so he could scratch at his head. "I've only had the thing for a few days. I don't know what it could be."

"Radiator hose," Daryl said firmly.

Dale smiled slightly and glanced at him. "Well, I'm sure you know your way around a vehicle, son, but I haven't even opened her up yet."

Daryl shrugged and watched him curiously. It didn't take the man too long to straighten up and place his hands on his hips. "Well, I'll be damned," he mumbled.

"Radiator hose?" Daryl asked as he leaned against the front and crossed his arms over his chest.

Dale looked up, his eyes growing suspicious. "How the heck did you know that?"

"I'm some kind of psychic that has premonitions of the future. You need a ride somewhere to get another one?" he deadpanned.

Dale nodded and then locked everything up. Once they were in Daryl's truck Dale stayed true to character and starting talking. "So, where is that little lady of yours this afternoon?"

Daryl snorted and kept his eyes glued to the road. "By now she's probably pickin' out what to wear on her date tonight with her husband." For a second he let his mind dredge up the image of her in that dress she wore to that insane dinner at Rick and Lori's. As much as he liked it he would set the damn thing on fire before he let her walk out the door wearing it to go meet that dumb fucker. He could have kicked himself for not hiding the damn thing before he left just so he wouldn't have to worry about it. This made him even more angry. Now he was wanting to hide her clothes? What the fuck was wrong with him?

Dale was silent for a few long moments. "I didn't know she was married."

Daryl glanced over at him, realizing that he needed to keep his dumb mouth shut. Too late now. "She's separated. Had to talk to him about their kid or some shit."

"I see," Dale said in that tone that told Daryl that this conversation was just getting started. "So she has children?"

"A daughter." Goddamn it. Why had he opened his mouth?

"I could see how something like that could complicate things a bit. I'm sure the two of you will work it all out though. You seemed to be well on your way to recovery when I left the two of you the other day. And let me tell ya, that looked like it was gonna get pretty ugly."

"We'll see," Daryl said glumly, hoping that Dale would drop it.

"Are you and her daughter very close?" Dale asked after a few blissful minutes of silence.

Daryl sighed. "I guess you could say that."

Another round of silence followed that but was soon broken, once again, by Dale. "You know, it seems to me like you just have a bad case of jealousy. Maybe you two should talk it out."

Daryl shook his head. "I'm pretty sure she's ready to call it quits. We gave it a go and it didn't work out like she thought it would." Why the fuck couldn't he just tell Dale to mind his own goddamn business and keep his own mouth closed about this shit?

"Did she say that?" Dale asked as they pulled into the auto store.

Daryl nodded. "That's what she was hintin' at before she left."

Dale looked at him, sympathy filling his kind features. Daryl bit the inside of his jaw to keep from telling the man to stop fucking staring at him like that. "Well, I still think there is probably a little hope for the two of you yet." He smiled and then got out of the truck.

Daryl watched him go in and sighed loudly. He didn't understand why Dale wasn't acting like the others had acted. Had he not had those dreams? With a weary sigh he got out of the truck and followed Dale into the store. He had a feeling that this was going to be a really long day.

~H~

Merle pulled into the parking lot of Kellie's and turned off the bike. He scanned the lot until his eyes landed on the car that he had hoped would be here. He climbed off the bike and sauntered up to the door. He wasn't even in the mood to be here at the moment but he had someone he needed to talk to and this was about the time of day that the man was usually here.

His eyes scanned the room and sure enough, there he sat. Ed Peletier. He was sitting at a corner table, alone, as usual. Merle made a face. He looked like a toad. Merle wondered what the hell Carol could have seen in the man to begin with and wondered briefly what had possessed her to stay with him once he proved to be a woman beater.

He made his way to the table and took a seat, uninvited. Ed looked at him and then scowled. "What the hell you want, Dixon? I ain't here for any trouble. Just mindin' my own business. Maybe you should try it."

"Believe me, asshole, I would. But seems like my business is probably stickin his dick in your business at the moment. That makes what they're doin' _our_ business."

Ed glared at him. "And what do you expect me to do about that?"

Merle shrugged. "Well, it woulda' helped if you hadn't been such a woman beatin' pussy. Now your wife got herself a taste of the good stuff and I can't seem to pry the bitch off of him with pliers. She's your wife. Do somethin' about it. I'm all outta tactics."

Ed didn't look like he was in the mood to discuss any of this. The truth was, Merle wasn't either. But he needed to get his brother away from that woman somehow and Ed was the only possible answer to his problems. Maybe he could charm her or something. "I'm suppose to meet with her tonight and talk."

Merle shook his head. "Don't count on it. My brother went back to her today."

Ed frowned. "I saw her with some Asian guy. You sure your brother is even with her?"

Merle nodded. "She must have sent the kid over to get him earlier."

Ed shook his head and took a drink of the beer that the waitress sat down in front of him. "So what the hell am I suppose to do? You don't think I've already tried. The woman lost her damn mind in that accident. There ain't no fixin' crazy."

Merle glared at the man. "You ever think that maybe you beat her one too many times? This is all your fuckin' fault! If you hadn't been such an asshole she wouldn't have set out after my brother and he'd be just fine right now," he growled.

Ed returned Merle's angry stare. "That right there ain't none of your business."

Merle leaned towards him, hands on the table, eyes flashing angrily. "You ain't hearin' me right now. You fix this. If you don't fix this then I swear to Christ I'm gonna rip out your fuckin' tongue and I'm gonna choke you to death with it. You understandin' me?" Merle knew that this was a long shot. More than a long shot. He just didn't know what else to do. So he handed the responsibility over to Ed. If Ed couldn't get Carol back then he would make good on that promise. He would beat the man into oblivion.

Ed took another drink, eyes watching Merle wearily. "I'm meetin' her tonight. I'll do what I can. But I'm tellin' ya. She ain't listenin' to reason. I have done everything and she won't listen."

Merle stood up then. "Then think of somethin' else. I'll be seein' ya around." There was no mistaking the threat in his tone.

He walked away without looking back. This whole thing with Daryl was stressing him out more than it should. He'd had a few more of those fucked up dreams. He didn't dream about his brother and that pussy ass group of his. Now he dreamed about a man named Philip Blake who found him after he cut off his hand.

He wanted to ask his brother about that but he couldn't. He wasn't going to feed that insanity with tales of his own. He had another plan. That man in his dreams was one sick son of a bitch. He was a good judge of character and Philip Blake was a goddamn prime example of a man on the verge of losing his shit. Merle was bad. He would be the first to admit it. The world had made him that way and he embraced it. But that guy? That guy was something else.

He squinted into the sunlight and mounted his bike. He was giving up on trying to keep his brother on a leash. He had something else to do now. He was going to find out for himself if this crazy shit was really what his brother and Carol said it was. If these weren't really dreams and he really was having premonitions of what was to come he planned on changing things up a little.

The bike roared to life and he flew out of the parking lot. He had a lot to do. If those dreams were true then Merle was definitely going to throw in a monkey wrench. He was going to find Philip Blake before Philip Blake found him.

~H~

Carol could tell that the tension in the Grimes house was up. Lori and Rick were barely speaking and Carl looked at her and rolled his eyes as soon as she walked through the door. Sophia was all smiles until she saw Carol's face. Her eyes narrowed.

"What's happened now?" Sophia asked quickly.

Carol shook her head. "Nothing that I can't fix," she hoped so anyway.

"What's that even mean?" Sophia asked, eyes still studying Carol's carefully.

Jesus, when did this girl get so grown up? It was like she knew what Carol had done and completely disapproved of it. She disapproved of it herself. "It means that it isn't anything that you need to worry about," she said.

Lori and Rick perked up when Carol informed them that Amy would be the one babysitting but they wouldn't let Carl go no matter how much he begged and argued. They were curious as to why Amy hadn't seemed to be effected the same way they were. Shane still acted pretty normal himself. They had even hinted to him that they had been experiencing weird dreams themselves but he never acted like he was experiencing anything out of the ordinary.

"So Shane and Amy aren't effected. What does that mean?" Lori asked as she leaned into the counter.

To their surprise it was Carl that spoke up. "Shane and Amy never made it to the prison. Maybe that has something to do with it."

Carol shook her head. "Sophia didn't make it to the prison either."

Carl just shrugged. "It doesn't make any sense that I was dreaming about it before my mom and dad were. I didn't meet you, only Sophia. And Daryl never saw anyone. Not from the prison or the quarry before he started dreaming. It just came out of the blue. Everyone feels like they already know you when they see you, or at least the ones that you were closest too do. It was more intense for dad than it was for mom because after mom died and you were found alive in the tombs, you and dad became really close. And everyone knows that Daryl's loved you since Hershel's farm. The closer you were to the people, the deeper they feel it. The question isn't why Sophia. The question is, why me."

Everyone in the room stared at the boy. They were lost in their own thoughts. Was that really what was going on? The closer she was too everyone the more they remembered her. But it still didn't make any sense. It probably never would.

Carol had told Rick and Lori the bad news earlier. They were apprehensive but their reaction had been better than hers had been. They seemed to have the same reaction Daryl had. It would be harder but they could still do what needed to be done. They could still get through it. Carol took comfort from their determination.

Once her and Sophia had said their goodbyes she was nervous. Would she be able to deny the girl the chance to save her father if that is what she wanted to do? But not bringing it up was bad also so she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She was readying herself to discuss Ed but Sophia spoke up first.

"You saw Daryl today, didn't you?" Sophia asked without looking at her.

Carol nodded. "I did."

"And something bad happened," she stated flatly. It wasn't a question.

"It was more... a misunderstanding," she said cautiously.

Sophia shook her head sadly and looked out the passenger side window without saying another word. Now definitely didn't seem like the time to bring it up but Carol had no choice.

"Sophia, have you thought about what we talked about earlier?" she asked reluctantly.

Sophia looked thoughtful for a few long minutes before she said anything. "I can't say that I want him dead but I can say that I don't want him with us." She looked up as Carol glanced at her and for a second Carol felt guilty for even bringing it up. She should have made the decision on her own. She shouldn't have involved her daughter. Sophia was still only a child, regardless of what had been going on and how grown up she seemed to be now.

"I'm sorry. I never should have asked you that. Daryl and I can talk about it and then make a decision on what to do about him."

Sophia took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm glad you did. But you're right. Talk to Daryl about it."

Carol nodded as she pulled into the driveway. She was disappointed and scared to death all at the same time when she saw that his truck was gone.

"I thought Daryl was here." Sophia said with a frown.

Carol sighed and couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. She put on a brave face for her daughter and got out of the car. It was going to be a long day, that was for sure. She thought back to that stupid fight and the things she had said to him. What had she been thinking? How could she even think that it would be okay to say something like that? Of course them actually being _together _wasn't going to ruin anything. Other than Sophia the idea of _them_ was the greatest thing in her life. She was a stupid coward for saying what she had said and she knew it.

Was he going to come back? Had she just lost him over a moment of weakness? Surely not. She felt stupid even thinking it. He wouldn't take off and not come back just because she had blurted out something stupid in the heat of the moment. That wasn't something he would do.

She sat her bag down and walked to the kitchen. Sophia followed her. There was a piece of paper sitting on the counter. She picked it up and realized then that her hands were shaking. She was almost too afraid to read it.

_You're an idiot. Be back later._

_Daryl._

The relief she felt could have knocked her over. She grinned down at the words scrawled on the page. She wouldn't have been happier if it had been a letter confessing his undying love. She giggled at the hilarity of that thought. She could almost see him, pen in hand, scowling down at the sheet of paper while he struggled to word his thoughts.

"What's so funny?" Sophia asked as she reached for the paper.

"Daryl wrote a love letter," she said with a shake of her head.

Sophia's eyes went wide, until she read it. Her laughter filled the quiet room and Carol plucked it out of her hands and shoved it into her back pocket. Sophia made her way to the living room while Carol started preparing something that Amy could heat up quickly for dinner. She had no intentions of meeting with Ed later but another plan was forming in her head. She had a lot of apologizing to do and she planned on doing it right. Rick and Shane were on duty tonight and she reminded herself to tell them to keep an eye on the house.

She made a few phone calls and then wrote out a list of things she needed to buy. Glenn would be around later too but Carol would call him and tell him to pretend like he had other things to do so Amy wouldn't ask any questions. If Glenn stayed home then she wouldn't need Amy to keep an eye on Sophia, but she didn't want Glenn too far away because of Ed.

She thought of all those long boring hours they had all spent on watch at the prison and figured that as long as Glenn had something to keep him occupied he wouldn't mind watching the house. She added a portable gaming system to the list of things to buy. She would have to ask Sophia what kind to get. Glenn would love it.

She was in a much lighter mood than she had been in earlier. Everyone else was right. They didn't have as much time as she thought they would have but her group was strong. They proved that from the beginning. Starting tomorrow things were going to start picking up speed. But tonight was all hers. She went to her room and pulled the dress Amy had talked her into buying out of the closet and laid it out.

For the first time in her life, she hoped Daryl didn't get back any time soon. She had stuff to do and she had a feeling that the angry gruff redneck would gladly accept her apology. She grinned wickedly at her reflection in the mirror.


	23. Steady Progress

**My email is a complete mess and I am not getting a lot of the email notifications! Don't know what that is all about but it is annoying! Okay, a few of you are worried about Merle and the fact that he is being a super ass at the moment. All I can say about that is, we are talking about a guy that beat the hell out of T-dog after calling him the N word. Spit on him. Threatened the whole group. Kidnapped Glenn and Maggie. Beat Glenn half stupid. Threw Maggie to the Governor, knowing that she would likely be raped and then tried to feed Glenn to a walker. That is the Merle that I am writing about at the moment. He won't be like that for the whole story but I need him to be like that now. That Merle would gladly hand Carol and Sophia both over to Ed if it meant keeping his brother to himself. That is the vibe early Merle gave me anyway. I love the man all the same! **

**I won't make you guys wait for the next chapter because it is a really good one. I'll update again tomorrow night! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Much love =)**

**Steady Progress**

Chapter Twenty Three

Daryl hit the highway in a much better mood than he had been in when he had set out on his mission this afternoon. He had made progress, even though it had been miserable. He had ended up spending the whole day with Dale. He had helped him with the radiator hose and then Dale had actually treated him to lunch. After that it wasn't too hard to keep the old man talking. And Daryl hadn't even had to say a whole lot.

Sure, he was uncomfortable most of the time but it had been well worth it. He had to do what he could to get their group together and safe, even if it meant going way out of his comfort zone. And he really had gone all out today.

Sometimes looking at Dale was hard. Daryl caught himself remembering the terrified and glazed look in Dale's eyes right before he had shot him and then he would have to shake the thought off. Dale talked a lot about his wife and brought up Carol several times. He asked questions that had Daryl nearly cursing out loud. He'd asked where they had met and then Daryl had to come up with something on the spot to keep from looking like a dumb ass. Dale thought they met on a camping trip. It wasn't really a lie.

It went a lot better than he thought it would. Dale really was a wise old fucker. He'd made him feel a lot better about the troubles him and Carol were having. Dale had even given him his phone number and told him to give him a call when they decided to "get back together" and he would take them up on that dinner offer. That was a good thing. He'd still cringed at the terminology but that was okay. At least he now knew that they really could form some sort of relationship with Dale, even if he didn't suffer from the dreams. He would never have to put Dale out of his misery. What he knew now that he hadn't realized the night that Dale had died was that they needed Dale. They needed to hold tight to everything the man had stood for.

Spending all that time with Dale also made him realize that he couldn't let Carol get away with being afraid. He'd never be able to tell her everything that he wanted too. Not in a million years, but he had to talk to her about that stupid shit she had said to him earlier. He couldn't let her just end the way things were now just because they were sort of together. Everything was basically how it had always been with the two of them. It was just that now they did a few more things than they had before. So what? They had had sex. He was a grown ass man and she was a grown ass woman and when two people became as close as the two of them had become then that was just the natural progression of things.

He wasn't a stupid man. He knew that, with the way they both were, it was going to be a hard ride. They had both suffered terribly at the hands of people that were never suppose to hurt them. He couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was afraid that he would end up turning into a monster himself. Did she think that he would hurt her? And him? He was just as bad. He expected pain and disappointment from every person that claimed to care about him because so far, with the exception of Carol, that was what people that cared did. They caused pain.

Yeah, they were a real mess and things were probably going to be hard for a long time, but they were going to come out on top in the end because he was sure that those things that made them weak to one another right now, would end up being their greatest strengths in the future. Given enough time she would learn that he would put a bullet through his own brain before he would ever hurt her. And hopefully, he would learn that she was someone that he could trust to not toss him away like he was nothing but filth. If they tried hard enough they could build one another up the way no one else ever could. He just had to convince her, some way, that it was all worth it. As soon as he came to this conclusion the day seemed much brighter than it had when he had left the house. There seemed to be a new urgency to make this strange relationship work.

His good mood plummeted when he pulled into the driveway and saw an unfamiliar car in the place that Carol's car was usually parked. He cursed under his breath and then forced himself to dampen down his anger. This must be Amy's car. And if this was Amy's car then that must have meant that Amy was babysitting Sophia while Carol went to see Ed. The thought made him sick but he took Dale's advice. He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. He remembered what she had told him about how she felt about the other man and then he opened the door to his truck and climbed out. He had harbored a little hope that she wouldn't go tonight just because she knew he hadn't wanted her too. But that was okay. He wouldn't scream or throw shit or tell her that she was a fucking moron and an asshole for seeing the guy. He would reign it all in and he would talk to her when she got back.

He didn't knock on the door. He just walked in like he owned the place. Sophia was sitting on the couch with Amy, a large bowl of popcorn sitting between them. They were watching a movie. Amy didn't seem surprised to see him and neither did Sophia, who gave him a knowing smile.

"You're Daryl," Amy said with a smile of her own as she got up from her spot on the couch. She wiped her hands on her jeans and then held it out for him to shake. He shook it and nodded.

"Mom isn't here," Sophia said. She hadn't bothered getting up.

"No shit," he rolled his eyes when all the little girl did was giggle.

"She told us you would probably come home. She isn't coming back until tomorrow morning," Amy said helpfully.

His stomach twisted into a knot and he could actually hear the blood pounding behind his eardrums. Surely not. Surely she wasn't going to spend the night with the son of a bitch! What the hell was wrong with that woman? Ed would most likely hurt her. He would hurt her bad for the shit she had done. He was starting to think that she really did have a death wish. But then again, maybe Ed really would try to fix things. Maybe he was trying to make it up to her right now. An image of the two of them together flashed in his mind. Ed kissing her. Ed's hands touching her.

He expected the rage. That was a natural thing for him to feel. What he hadn't expected was pain. Blinding and harsh and nearly knocking the breath from his lungs. The images in his head piercing his chest deeper than any dagger ever could. He thought maybe he was going to throw up. But even through the anger and the pain of betrayal he kept his wits about him enough to make sure he hid it from the two girls that were now looking at him curiously.

"She said she left something for you in her room," Amy said as she returned to her spot on the couch and grabbed the remote seeming oblivious to the knife that Daryl felt twisting in his gut.

Holding his breath he nodded again and walked down the hall. By the time he let out the breath and slipped into her bedroom his hands were shaking and bile was making its way to the back of his throat. He turned on the light and noticed right away the piece of paper folded in half that was lying on the neatly made bed. He was almost too afraid to read it. He just stood there, staring at it for a few seconds.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, heart pounding, palms sweating, and unfolded it.

_Daryl, _

_You were right. I am an idiot. See you soon. I hope._

_Love, Carol_

Under that was an address. He read it over and over, letting it sink into his overworked mind. Letting the words on the page wipe away the last vestiges of hurt. She wasn't with Ed. She was actually waiting on him. He could have laughed at himself for thinking the very worst. Of course she wouldn't do that. She wasn't that big of an idiot. They had been through hell together and they had a connection that was stronger than iron. She wouldn't run back to her abusive fat slob of a husband.

He stuffed the note into his pocket and had to keep himself in check. He wanted to run to the fucking truck. He knew she was alone and he didn't want her to be alone. Especially after dark. It would be dark soon enough.

"Everything okay?" Sophia asked as he walked towards the door without a word to them. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at her.

Shit! He was glad that Carol was over whatever it was that had bit her in the ass earlier but was she crazy? Amy wouldn't be able to protect Sophia if Ed came here to start some trouble. His eyes flicked from the girl to the door longingly. He wasn't sure if this was the best idea he had ever formulated in his head but he had to do something or he wouldn't leave the house.

"Come here," he said quickly as he stormed back down the hallway towards Carol's room.

Sophia followed him wordlessly and then gave him a questioning look when he shut the bedroom door.

"Your mama teach you how to shoot?" he asked quickly.

Sophia's head bobbed. "Of course. She isn't stupid."

He nodded. "You got a gun in case your bastard daddy shows up here while Amy is keepin' a watch on ya?"

To his surprise she nodded again. "It's right under the cushion next to where I've been sitting on the couch. I know how to use it. Plus Glenn's on watch in case something happens. She has a cell phone and I have the number plus Rick and Shane are going to keep an eye on us too. She's taken care of everything."

He couldn't believe how thorough Carol had been. He should have known though. She wouldn't risk anything happening to Sophia. She didn't mind being reckless herself but she would go to any length to keep her daughter safe.

He ruffled Sophia's hair affectionately, surprising them both by the brief contact before he walked towards the door. "I'll see ya around, kid," he said quickly before he was out the door and hurrying to his truck. He had no idea what the hell that crazy ass woman was doing. All he knew was that he needed to get to her and he needed to do it now.

~H~

Sophia had actually enjoyed the movie Amy had brought with her. Amy was pretty good. She expected the older girl to treat her like a little kid but she didn't. Not really. They talked for a while after her mom left earlier. Amy told her all about her sister in Florida and told stories about growing up there. She talked about her friends and her job.

"So, I've been here for quite a few hours and so far all we've done is talk about me. What about you?"

Sophia looked up, a frown forming between her eyes. "What about me?"

"Well," Amy smiled, "What about a boyfriend?"

Sophia felt the blood rise in her cheeks and she shook her head. "I'm too young for all of that."

"You're twelve, right?" Amy asked, raising one eyebrow.

Sophia nodded quickly and looked back towards the television.

"Well, it'll happen soon enough, I guess. No settling for jerks, you got it?" she elbowed Sophia playfully, causing her to grin through the blush that hadn't went away yet.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Amy asked after a few minutes of silence.

"As long as I stay alive long enough to grow up at all, I'll be happy." She winced as soon as she realized the words had actually came out of her mouth.

"Oh Lord," Amy said sadly. "I think I'm gonna have a future Goth kid on my hands."

She found herself frowning again. "What the heck is that?"

Amy shrugged. "You know, those teenagers that dress all in black and wear white makeup and lots of eyeliner. They mope around brooding and serious all the time and are obsessed with vampires and death." Amy shuddered dramatically and made a face.

Sophia pictured herself looking like that and then she couldn't control the giggling that ensued when she imagined what kind of look Daryl and her mom would have on their faces. "I really don't think you would have to worry about that."

Amy sighed. "Thank God." She winked and then hopped up from the couch when her phone started going off. She looked down and grinned as she texted the person back. For some reason this made Sophia sad. Whoever was on the other end of that phone wasn't going to be alive in another month or so. She had been so focused on herself and the people that she cared about that she hadn't given much thought to the rest of the world. There were going to be whole families wiped out. Kids just like her and Carl. People with dreams and lives that were going to be cut short in a matter of weeks. No one suspected it. No one was going to be prepared for it. No one but her and her group.

How was it fair for them to use their knowledge to save themselves and not anyone else? What made their lives so much more important than that person that Amy was talking to right now? She suddenly felt very sick to her stomach. She felt sick because of guilt. Guilt that her and her family and her friends were going to survive comfortably after the world ended and so many other people were going to die. And they wouldn't just die. They were going to most likely die horribly and they would die terrified, just like she had.

"I think I'm gonna go ahead and go to bed now," she said quietly.

Amy looked up from her phone. "Are you sure? We can play a game or something if you want? Maybe watch another movie."

Sophia offered her a weak smile. "That's okay. I don't feel all that good."

Now Amy looked genuinely concerned. "Should I call your mom?"

"No!" she said quickly. Too quickly. Amy's frown deepened. Sophia sighed. "My mom and Daryl had a fight and if everything goes good tonight I'm sure my mom will be able to fix it. I'll be fine. Them fixing their problems is a lot more important than me having a stomach ache."

Amy smiled then. "You're a pretty good kid, you know that?"

Sophia grinned. "I try."

As soon as she was in the hallway the smile dropped from her face. She didn't feel like smiling. How was she going to save other people? She couldn't just run around telling everyone that the dead were going to rise and start eating them. People would think she was insane. But it wasn't right to let them die. It wasn't right to pretend like their own group was the only one that mattered.

She remembered how terrifying it was, running alone through the woods with those monsters chasing her. Even when Rick had found her she knew it wasn't going to matter. It was just a feeling she had deep in her bones. It was scary. She was going to die and she knew it. She had been so stupid for leaving the safety of her hiding spot that day. All she was thinking was that she needed her mother. She had gotten lost and then, after a few days of wondering the woods, cold and alone, she ran into more walkers. She had managed to get away from them but not before getting herself bitten. She didn't remember much after that. That was when the dreams weren't hers anymore. She saw them all. Watched quietly as a spectator as they searched for her. But she was a ghost.

She turned off her lamp and slipped under the covers. Maybe she would talk to her mom about it tomorrow. There really wasn't anything else she could do. She really hoped that her mom and Daryl made up. She knew that he was the reason her mom had been crying. She knew he hadn't hurt her like her dad used to hurt her but she still hated seeing her mom upset. She deserved to be happy and any idiot could see that he was what made her happy.


	24. Wanna Screw Around

**Okay, you have finally made it to the big make up chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Sorry if I missed anybodies messages but my email is still messed up so I am getting half of the notifications, if that. Anyway, I'm in a rush. I really hope you like this chapter! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Much love!**

**Wanna Screw Around?**

Chapter Twenty Four

He pulled off onto the dirt road and took his time driving up to the house. The road was riddled with potholes. He hadn't seen the house yet and he wished there was more light so he could get a better look. He had to admit that it was big enough. He could see that much right away. Her car was parked not too far from the drive and he parked the truck beside it. He glanced around before getting out. He didn't see her anywhere, which was odd to him. If she was expecting him then he figured she would come out to greet him so she could give him the tour of the place.

He climbed the porch steps with a frown. The front door was unlocked but the house was dark.

"Carol?" he called out but only a slight echo answered him. "What the hell, woman," he grumbled to himself.

He went up the stairs after searching the first floor and paused in the long hallway. There was a door at the end and he could see dim light shining under the crack. He stomped to the door, getting more anxious by the second. The door opened up to another set stairs.

"Jesus, how big is this fuckin' place?" he muttered as he climbed to the top.

Once he got to the top he saw that the source of the light was a couple lanterns turned down low. The room was huge. Just one big open space. One side was in shadow but the side that was brighter with the lantern light had a makeshift bed. It looked like just tons of blankets piled up on top of one another. But it looked like a bed anyway. He stumbled to a stop when he saw what was lying on top of the thick comforter, propped up on the pillows.

"Holy shit," he whispered. He couldn't take his eyes off of the spot as he finally gathered his wits about him and put one foot in front of the other. His eyes took in the smooth lines and perfect angles. It was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. He had never dreamed of possessing something as perfect as what was lying there right in front of him.

"TenPoint Carbon Xtra CLS," he breathed right before he took a deep breath and snatched it up. He had seen plenty of these bows in his lifetime but never thought he would ever get the chance to use one. These things were worth more than he ever had on hand. Hell, his truck had been cheaper than what this bow was worth.

He tested the weight and then held it up, squeezing one eye shut and peering through the sights. The smile that broke out over his face was actually painful but he couldn't shake it. This must be how women felt when they got diamonds and other useless shit. He never understood what the fuss was about until now.

He reluctantly sat it back down on the blanket and glanced once more around the huge space. With one last lingering look at it he finally made his way back down the stairs. She wasn't anywhere in the house and it was all the way dark out now. He was starting to get nervous again.

He went out the front door and then stopped. She was coming up the porch steps. She was wearing that dress that he had wished earlier he had hid in case she tried to wear it when she went to see Ed. He was glad he hadn't had the good sense to hide it before he left because she looked just as incredible as she had the last time he had seen her in it. She was barefoot, holding the fancy shoes by the straps in one hand.

When her eyes met his she looked unsure. He knew without a doubt then that they would be okay. She'd been scared, just like him and that was alright. She had every reason to be. He shut the door behind him and took a few steps towards her. She had stopped on the top step.

"Do you like the house?" she asked in a quiet voice.

He nodded.

"Do you wanna see the rest of it?"

He nodded again and she turned without another word and so he followed her down the steps. The sky was cloudless and the moon was full and he couldn't help but feel an eerie feeling. But that wasn't unfounded. The last time he had walked with her through moonlight he had lost her. He tried to think of something other than that so he focused on the way the silvery light bouncing off the skin of her back and how it made her almost look like a ghost gliding through the darker backdrop.

The barn was a huge hulking structure half obscured by a grove of trees. It took him a minute before he realized what the trees actually were. "Apple trees?"

She glanced back at him, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth as she nodded. "There's a lot of them. That'll be really nice."

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't tell what kind of shape the barn was in but it was plenty big enough to house some animals. "Need to get some goats," he mused out loud.

"Goats?" she asked curiously as they passed the barn.

"They don't need as much upkeep as cows and they don't eat as much. Still produce a lot of milk so we'd be alright there."

"I'm going to see about getting the ponds stocked too. We'll be fine during the summer months and throughout the winter we can get into the supplies we're able to stock up on. Glenn thinks we should get one of those metal storage buildings set up behind the house."

He was actually starting to get excited. This was really going to work. "You sound a lot more sure than you were this mornin'," he nudged her shoulder with his own as they kept walking.

She stopped then and put a hand on his arm. "I freaked out," she said as she looked away. "I said things out of fear that I didn't mean." She met his eyes and he could tell that she was struggling to hold them. "I'm sorry for that." She seemed to also be struggling to hold her composure and he felt himself frowning.

"You forgettin' who you're talkin' too? I'm the goddamn king of sayin' shit I don't mean," he felt the corners of his mouth turn up and he had a quick vision of him apologizing to her on Hershel's farm for calling her a stupid bitch and storming off like an asshole. He looked down, unable to hold her gaze anymore.

"At first I thought you were gone for good," she said in that quiet voice.

This had him looking back up at her. "I always come back."

She bit her lip and nodded. Neither one of them had made an attempt to touch the other. The brief contact of her hand on his arm was all there was. He wasn't sure what that meant but when she started walking again he fell in step beside her. She led him on wordlessly not saying anything else until they made it to a large pond. It was bigger than any of the ones on Hershel's farm. The sounds of frogs and crickets filled the air.

He followed her to the waters edge, not even noticing at first that she had been leading him to a specific place. She must have went blanket crazy because there was another one spread out on the ground close to where they were standing. He wasn't sure what to think about that. When he looked back at her she wasn't looking at him but he could have sworn he could make out the color in her cheeks even in the pale light.

He glanced around. The moon was reflected in the pond and the water was so smooth even the stars reflected on its glass like surface. The scene looked like something out of a movie.

"This seemed a lot less cheesey in my head, I swear," she said quickly. "Now it just seems..." her voice trailed away when she met his eyes.

He shrugged. She was trying hard to tell him she was sorry and he had to do something to let her know that it was alright. He wasn't good at all this expressing himself shit so he went with the first thing that popped in his head. "Ya wanna screw around?"

She pressed her lips together in a hard line but it didn't work. Her laughter bounced around in the darkness causing him to break out in a rare grin of his own. All that tension he sensed in her seemed to evaporate and the smile that took it's place was a radiant thing.

He rubbed the back of his neck, not too sure what to do now. Even after everything they had done he was still unsure of himself at times. Times like right now. She seemed to sense it and then took a step closer.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

He tilted his head to the side. "I spose. What'd ya do, bring food all the way out here?"

"I already feel stupid enough, Daryl. Don't make it worse." She stepped around him and, sure enough, there was a cooler nestled in the tall grass on the other side of the blanket.

She must have really felt bad to go to all this trouble. He really wasn't used to anybody going to any trouble at all for the likes of him and he wasn't sure how to act. He sat down on the blanket, the grass under it made it more comfortable than he thought it would be. She sat across from him and handed him a sandwich wrapped in plastic and then, thankfully, a cold bottle of beer.

He wasn't going to bring it up but he wanted to know. "Did you do that thing you were plannin' on doin?"

She stopped mid chew and then shook her head. "There isn't anything I need to say to him. You were right and I wasn't really thinking. Sophia doesn't want him here anyway."

He was silent for a while, another question rolling around in his head. "And if she did?"

"Then me and you would just have to talk her out of it." There was a firm tone in her voice that told him that she didn't want to talk about this anymore. He didn't blame her. He really didn't want to talk about it either.

"Where did you go?" She asked once they were finished eating.

He gazed out over the water and then shifted so he was on his knees, picking at the beer label. He told her all about his day out with Dale. She started grinning when he told her about Dale talking about them and how he had to lie every time Dale asked a question about their relationship.

After a while they lapsed into silence again but she finally broke it. "Do you think you'll learn to like it here?" She sounded like she was worried he wouldn't.

He wanted to tell her that it didn't matter where the hell they ended up, as long as she was with him but he felt the heat rising in his cheeks just thinking about saying something like that. "I like it. It has just about everything we need. Maybe your friend Doug isn't as big of a dumb ass as he looks."

She beamed at him then and moved so she was on her knees in front of him. He downed the last of his fourth bottle of beer quickly. "Did you just admit that I did good?" she said teasingly.

"Startin' to think they're ain't anything you ain't good at, woman," he grumbled. That had slipped but it was worth it because her smile got bigger and she shuffled a little closer. He opened another beer and swallowed down half of it before coming up for air. He wasn't getting drunk but he was drinking fast enough for the alcohol to hit him harder than it would if he had just sipped on it like she was doing. He finished it off. That was five to her one. He was much more relaxed than he had been and he couldn't stop eyeing the low cut of that dress.

"You're sweet," she beamed.

He scowled, eyes trailing down to her waist. He bit his lip and met her eyes again. He held them there as his hand slipped around her hesitantly. She moved closer still, her chest heaving a little as her breath became more ragged.

He still marveled at how quickly she always seemed to react to him. But then when his fingers grazed the soft skin at the small of her back his heart went into overdrive. He guessed it was a mutual thing. Neither one of them made a move to do anything more than that. Just the tips of his fingers running up her back had them both breathing heavily. He broke their heated gaze, dipping his head and running his nose down her throat, not stopping until he was able to press his lips to her collarbone, which he had learned was a sensitive spot to her for some reason.

He took in a deep breath, savoring the smell of her, wondering idly when things had gotten so comfortable between them that this wasn't causing him to have a panic attack. But she had done so much today, tried so hard to show him that she hadn't meant what she had said, that all he could think about doing was making her feel good. That was the only thing he could focus on. Let her know that everything was going to be okay. Better than okay. Things were going to be good. He couldn't tell her any of this. Every time he even thought of telling her anything he was feeling he felt stupid. He was much more a man of action than a man of words and it seemed to be working because he could feel her pulse under his lips as he moved them up her neck.

He pulled her closer and wrapped his other arm around her. When his fingers started untying the knot at the back of her neck he finally kissed her. He wasn't in a hurry though. He kept his hands on her back, even when it was undone. She must have had other plans though because he felt her hands move under his shirt, moving them up until he had to actually pull away and help her get it over his head.

He cupped her face, stopping her from turning this around and making it all about him. He started kissing her again and moving so he was pressed against her once more. As soon as their bodies touched she made a sound in the back of her throat, urging him forward. He moved then, forcing her to move back as he wrapped an arm around her waist again and moved her legs apart with his knee.

He moved his lips away from her mouth and to her ear. He was finding it hard to catch his breath, especially when her hand went to his pants. He had to stop her by grabbing her by the wrist. She made a frustrated sound but it was choked off once his lips tugged lightly at her ear lobe.

"Lay down," he commanded in a rough whisper.

She pulled her head back and wide blues met his. He stayed where he was and watched her obey. Her knees were drawn up and pressed together. He was still in the same spot he had been in, on his knees in front of her. She almost looked scared as he watched her. At least she did until he slipped one hand between her knees. She seemed to relax a little as he ran that hand down her inner thigh, the dress was obstructing his view but there was something about feeling her skin but not allowing himself to see it that caused him to ache.

She kept her legs tense but still gave him enough room to move down further, just with that one hand. Her arms were at her sides and she had both her hands fisted around the blanket as she watched him. He was having trouble keeping himself in control. He wanted to rip the panties away and bury himself in her. Instead the tips of his fingers barely brushed over the lace. Her chest was rising and falling quickly but he kept his touch light, ghosting over her

A frown formed between her eyes and she arched into his hand, but he wasn't letting her get her way. He wasn't drunk from the beer he had drank. He was drunk on something totally different. He wanted to make her frustrated, even though he knew it was mean. Spending his whole life thinking he wasn't good enough for anything. Thinking that he was going to be stuck alone with his ass of a brother. Thinking that no one in the world could want someone like him. He was drunk on the knowledge that all of that was bullshit. She cared. He was good enough for her. She _wanted_ him. And he was going to let himself enjoy it for a little while longer, even though it was becoming just as hard for him.

"Daryl," she breathed. She sounded so desperate.

He used his other hand to move her leg so he had more room to move. He stilled his hand and pressed it flat against her lower abdomen. Now he was only using his thumb, finding the spot he had discovered their last night together. He used more pressure but still went slow. She gasped and then moved her legs further apart.

He swallowed hard. He had to force himself to keep calm.

"Damn it, Daryl," she panted.

Who the hell would have guessed that this would be something he was actually good at? He watched her squirm, feeling almost light headed. Of course he was light headed. He didn't have any blood left to reach his brain. It was all pulsing painfully in his crotch.

He finally slid the panties down her thighs and tossed them to the side like she had done his shirt. She looked relieved but he still wasn't planning on rushing this. He leaned over her, still on his knees and bracing himself on one arm as his fingers went back to work on her. She pulled his face down roughly and kissed him hard at the exact same moment his middle finger slipped inside her. She whimpered against his lips.

Since he was using one hand to brace himself and the other one was quite busy, he had no way to stop her when she started frantically tugging at the button of his pants. Before she had a chance to slide her hand inside he had to stop her so he grabbed both of her hands, slamming them down above her head, pinning them there easily.

"You ain't got no patience, ya know that?" He asked breathlessly right before he let go of her hands. She actually growled at him but she kept her hands where they were. She was glaring at him with so much menace that he laughed quietly against her neck. He'd never seen her like his before.

Since he already had the back of the dress untied it didn't take much effort to peel it away from the top half of her. Her hands went to his hair once his lip finally made it to the top of her breast and his hand slid back down between her legs. The sounds of her heavy breathing drowned out the sound of the frogs and he found himself forgetting where he was. He was completely focused on nothing but her. Her hands in his hair urging him on until he finally ripped himself away from her.

He raised up all the way until he was looking down at her again. The dress now was nothing more than a jumble of cloth around her midsection. It wasn't going to be in his way so he ignored it, for now, in his haste to get to where he was going.

She opened her mouth like she was about to say something but he didn't wait to hear what it was she had to say. In one fluid motion he pushed her knees further apart and then dipped his head between her legs before she could form any sort of protest.

"Daryl, what are you... Oh God..." Her fingers tangled into his hair as his tongue took over the spot that he had worked on with his thumb. He stayed focused on that one spot since he wasn't experienced at this kind of thing enough to risk exploring any further and ruining it. He definitely wanted too though. His mouth filled with saliva to the point where he had to stop long enough swallow just at the thought of tasting more of her. Her legs tensed when his finger pushed into her again.

For a second he thought he had done something wrong and hurt her when she let out a shocked cry and then actually arched her back off the ground. He realized then that he had actually done it right because those sounds ripping out of her weren't the kinds of sounds a woman made when she was hurt. He didn't stop until she finally grew still and was weakly pushing his head away.

After that he rolled over onto his back and fought to get his boots off and then struggled out of his pants. He didn't feel like himself and it almost freaked him out. He didn't feel like that other Daryl either. He had tunnel vision. The only thing running through his mind now was that he needed release and she was the only one that could give him any. All other logical thought was completely obliterated by that overwhelming need.

When he glanced over at her she was just shoving the dress down her legs. He grabbed her by the calf and jerked her closer, rolling at the same time until she was under him. Her hands went to his shoulders and she seemed to brace herself, like she knew that he was slightly out of control and the chances of him being gentle about this were slim.

He met her eyes and clenched his teeth together as he shifted. She tilted her hips just enough so he was pressed against her. She gave him a quick nod, like she was giving him permission to do what he needed to do. His head was a mess, memories of things they had already done swirling around his brain, driving him forward. The way her hands felt wrapped around him. The way her body moved in perfect sync with his. But it wasn't just that. The need to be as close to her as possible wasn't simply a physical want. It was an emotional hell being away from her.

He dropped his forehead down to hers and then finally moved into her. He bit his lip hard once he was moving, and like he suspected he wasn't careful or gentle. The way she wrapped around him let him know that it was okay. She didn't need or want gentle at the moment. Her frantic need met his, both of them needing this. He kept his eyes locked onto hers. If she gave him the first hint that he was hurting her he would stop, but she dragged her nails down his back and arched into him. He was overstimulated as it was, his nerve endings electric and alive and with every stroke his body jerked at the sudden sensations that hit him. The harder he drove into her, the hotter she felt. The grip she had on him was like a vice but it was smooth as silk as that warm liquid heat built deep inside. But it still wasn't enough. He hooked her leg through the crook of his arm and pulled it up, going deeper still. Every touch was so intense that when he felt her muscles inside start to contract even tighter around him, throbbing with every frantic beat of her heart it caused a primal growl to rip from his throat.

She almost screamed. She probably would have if he hadn't crushed her lips with his own, drinking in the sounds of her pleasure at the exact moment he poured into her with a muffled groan against her mouth. The groan turned into a pitiful whimper as the pleasure increased, surprising him. He was shocked when it didn't taper off but actually peaked. He buried his head between her neck and shoulder, cursing as his his body twitched uncontrollably.

He was usually eager to have another go round. He was secretly smug, knowing his recovery time was nothing like most men's. But not this time. He was completely spent, panting into her neck as he finally let go of her leg. She ran her thigh over his hip, her fingers tracing lightly over the scars on his back. It felt good just to be touched. Touched by her, anyway. He had nothing to hide here. There was nothing to be afraid of with her. She regarded him like he was the most perfect thing in the world, even though he knew that wasn't true at all, she believed it and so he almost believed it too when he was with her. It was like an addiction.

He was probably crushing her but she didn't act like she was uncomfortable. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, savoring the aftershocks of the most incredible physical feeling he had ever experienced before. Every time was good. Better than good, really, but this time was different. He shifted so he was no longer inside of her but he still didn't move away from her. They were silent themselves but he was once more aware of the night sounds around them.

Her fingertips still drew invisible patterns over his skin and occasionally raked through his sweaty hair. He didn't want to move. He could have stayed like that forever but he had too get up. He raised his head and braced himself on his elbows. She was staring up at him, her arms draped loosely over his neck. The moon was reflected in her eyes, giving him that eerie feeling again.

"Back to the real world, Dixon," she said with a mischievous grin.

He groaned and then dropped his head back down. He bit her shoulder playfully. He reached for his pants and kissed her quickly before rolling off of her. He still felt like he could hardly move as he yanked his pants up. He didn't even bother buttoning them before he sat up. When he looked over she was on her knees, tying the straps of the dress back behind her neck.

He blew out a breath and grabbed her hand, pulling her up. They left everything the way it was. They would get to it before they left the farm in the morning. Right now he was thinking about how comfortable that huge stack of blankets was going to be. And for the first time in four days he was going to be able to actually sleep.


	25. Toy Soldiers

**I'm excited! I started writing in February of this year and as of right now I have a little over 1,000,000 words archived on this site! XD**

**Anyway, I liked this chapter a lot because it hopefully helps you understand Merle a little better. That was my intent anyway. I have a lot to do this week so it will be quite a few days before I update again. I have to repaint my kitchen and a few others rooms and that is going to be a task, trust me. So, I hope you enjoy this one and, as always, thank you all for reading and reviewing! =)**

**Toy Soldier**

Through the small windows set into the walls at each end of the attic Carol could tell that it was barely dawn. She stretched out like a cat and then rolled over onto her side, facing the sleeping man next to her. He was sprawled out on his stomach, arms shoved under the pillows and, to her surprise, a small smile threatening at the corners of his mouth. He didn't look intimidating in the least. There were a lot of words she would use to describe him. Sexy, mysterious, complicated, gorgeous and insatiable being a few. But right now she had to say that he just looked... adorable.

This thought, and the reaction she knew he would have to being called something like that, had her grinning.

She rolled back over and raised up on her elbows. She didn't know where the dress had gotten too now. After last night, out by the pond, she was pretty sure that the only thing that was going to happen once they made it to the attic was sleep. They had made it all the way up but didn't quite make it to the makeshift bed before clothes were coming off once more. It was outlandish, a woman her age carrying on like that. But he opened up many new doors that she had never explored before, and she was ready and willing to explore them to the fullest. For a man that was as reserved as he had been the whole time she had known him in that other world, he was certainly up for anything when it came to the two of them.

But now it was time to get down to business. They had a lot to do and a short amount of time to do it in and play time was over. They technically weren't even suppose to be here. This wasn't theirs just yet. Today was the day that everything was suppose to be finalized. It had gone much faster than she had thought it would. The family that had inherited the place was more than eager to sell it and since she had such a large down payment to hand over, the process went amazingly smooth.

She spotted her dress a few feet away. Her underwear was still somewhere by the pond, along with his shirt and both their shoes. She eased over slowly, reaching for the dress but she didn't get very far. A strong arm went around her and jerked her backwards, causing her back to slam into a hard chest.

"Where the hell you goin'?" he muttered sleepily into her neck.

She swallowed hard, unable to ignore the fact that certain parts of him were a lot more awake than others. "We have to get a move on. There's a lot to do today," she whispered.

He groaned unhappily but loosened his grip on her. "That's the damn truth."

She laughed and reached for the dress again. She had thought of almost everything last night. Everything but a change of clothes. She hurried into the dress and then stood there, looking down at him with her hands on her hips. "That means you need to actually get up, Daryl."

He cracked one eye open and then shook his head stubbornly.

"You're acting like a child. Even Sophia gets her butt out of bed when I tell her too."

"Sophia ain't got nobody keepin' her up all night either."

Carol felt the heat rise in her cheeks. It was true, sure, but he hadn't objected so it was his fault too. She was pretty sure he had been the one that initiated it the second time. Maybe. "We have to get up," She nudged his foot with her own. "I'll just leave without you then," she threatened, knowing full well that she was bluffing.

He groaned and raised up, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. His hair was sticking up at odd angles and the scowl on his face had her grinning from ear to ear. "You're the goddamn devil, ya know that? We coulda slept in for a little while."

"Not really. This house isn't ours yet. As of right now, me and you are trespassing."

He scooted down to the edge of the bed and grabbed his jeans but didn't make a move to put them on. He was frowning. "Seems to me like since we done broke the law that it shouldn't matter now."

"I don't remember you being this crabby in the mornings during all those months," she nudged his leg this time and cried out when he grabbed her by the leg and pulled hard. She fell right on top of him as he laid back down. He had an arm around her waist and there wasn't any breaking the hold no matter how hard she struggled. It didn't help that she wasted a lot of energy laughing at that smirk on his face. She laughed, sure, but she also marveled in his change. This wasn't either man she had known but a perfect mix of the two.

"Keep squirmin' and we really ain't leavin' yet," he said in a low voice that had her going still. All the teasing was gone, replaced by a dark gaze that had her ready to give up the fight and spend the rest of the day up in the attic with him.

All she wanted to do was slip the blanket the rest of the way down his hips and there wouldn't be anything separating them at all. The dress was hiked up and she figured by now some duck was probably wearing a provocative pair of panties as a necklace. But they had too much to do for any of that. With more than a pang of regret she eased herself off of him. His eyes went wide.

"Are you serious?" he asked, like he was a man that had never been turned down in his life. He blew out a frustrated breath and sat back up when she put her hands on her hips and tried to give him a severe look. "We have to clean up out there and then get back home. I have to meet with Doug and we need to go talk to Rick and Lori. I think you should call your brother."

He groaned and then threw off the blanket, yanking his pants up and over his hips. "You call him. I'm done tryin'."

He stood up and then tried to dodge her attempts to smooth his hair back down. She didn't want to talk to Merle. Merle was stubborn and he wasn't ready to believe a damn thing she had to say. But every time she had tried to talk to him Daryl had been with her. He had been civil to her the one time she had talked to him alone. As civil as Merle could be, anyway. Maybe if she could just get him alone she could get him to listen to reason. While they were at the prison they had managed to become, for lack of a better word, close. She was pretty sure that was only because Merle respected her because he knew that when it came to Daryl, there was nothing she wouldn't do to protect him. That was important to a man like Merle, who had the same dedication to his brother.

It was almost comical that the strongest person in their group would have two people constantly willing to put his life above theirs. Her and Merle were two people that would gladly die for Daryl, even though Daryl was the last person that needed it. She could use that. The reason he hated her now was because he thought that she was out to hurt his brother. All she had to do was worm her way into the cracks in the man's armor. She needed time to talk to him. She needed him to understand that she would rather die than ever hurt Daryl. Merle was cold and he was cruel and pretty much ruthless but one thing was true. He loved his brother. He had a funny way of showing it, sure. But it was the truth.

"What the fuck are you thinkin'?" Daryl asked once his boots were on. He was looking at her with narrowed eyes.

"You're right. I'm going to talk to Merle," she said, a hint of excitement coloring her words.

He was in front of her before she could even blink, his face angry. "The hell you are!"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Yeah, I am."

He growled and then stomped off towards the stairs. "We ain't even gonna fight about this. You ain't goin' anywhere near Merle. Not alone."

She laughed, causing him to stop in his tracks and turn around. She shook her head. "You don't control me."

He glared at her but then his face cleared and he nodded. This had her instantly suspicious. "You're right. I don't control you. Talk to him all you want. Just don't threaten to slit his throat in his sleep. You gotta remember which Merle this is." With that he turned around and disappeared down the stairs, the new bow slung over his shoulder. She stood there staring after him, stunned.

She headed down the stairs herself but he hadn't waited for her. She didn't catch up with him until she made her way to the pond. He had given up to easily and she didn't trust him at the moment.

"Daryl?" she asked in a tentative tone as he balled up the blanket and shoved it under his arm. He had found his shirt and slipped it on already.

He looked up, smirked and then flicked her panties at her like he would a rubber band. She snatched them out of the air right before they hit her in the face and then shoved them into her bag blushing furiously. She studied him quizzically, tilting her head to the side.

"What?" he asked after he shoved the empty beer bottles into the cooler and then picked it up.

"It's hard to explain," she said vaguely and then turned to lead him back to the house after snatching her shoes up off the ground.

He caught up with her easily despite the fact that his arms were full and all she carried was her bag and her shoes. "What's that suppose to mean?" he asked.

She shrugged. "You're different."

"What the hell you mean, I'm different?"

She chose her words carefully. "I was expecting one or the other, I suppose. The man I met at the quarry or the man I left at the prison. You aren't either."

He stopped in his tracks, his eyes growing harder as they met hers. "What's that suppose to mean?" he repeated but now his voice was as hard as his eyes.

She shook her head, taking in his features. "Different circumstances change people in different ways, Daryl. The same goes for me if you really think about it. I'm not the woman you met at the quarry and I'm not the woman you had to let go of at the prison. I'm different. We both are. As much as we've been through, we get to..."

He frowned and studied her just as intently as she studied him. "Get to what?"

She smiled. "It's almost like..." she struggled for the words to articulate what she was feeling. "It's almost like we have to figure each other out again. Like we're not those people at all really. We're... different."

"How?"

She laughed then and was relieved to see the corner of his mouth turn up. "The man I met at the quarry wouldn't have ever hit me in the face with my own underwear. The man at the prison would have probably ran from them. And neither man would have tried to con me into having sex all morning instead of getting right down to work. You're different."

He groaned and she was delighted at the redness making its way up his face. "I wouldn't have ran from'em. And if I'd tried a little harder we wouldn't be talkin' right now, that's for sure."

They started walking again, both lost in thought now.

~H~

After everything was loaded up Daryl stood next to his truck, looking in at the bow that sat there propped up against the back of the seat. She came out of the house and made her way towards him with a smile on her face. She was going to talk to that realtor guy and he was going to go hit up a few places for more weapons and then they were going to find someone to hire to build a twelve foot high block wall to surround sixteen acres. That should be fun.

She reached up and kissed his cheek, still smiling. "You should see if Dale will come over tonight. Maybe seeing us together again will stir some memories for him or something. Maybe I can invite Amy over. You know how close her and Andrea were to him."

He nodded and then caught her around the waist before she could even turn around to walk to her car. "Be careful," he said, his eyes meeting hers and holding them.

She smiled and nodded and then her hand was on the side of his face. He had the overwhelming urge to kiss her palm but he opted for her lips instead. It was less cheesy in his book. She melted against him, sliding her hand around to the back of his neck. They stayed like that for much longer than necessary. He got it then. He understood what she was saying earlier and it actually made him relieved.

He wasn't the guy from the quarry and he wasn't the guy from the prison. He didn't have to be either and she didn't expect him too. The same went for her. She wasn't either woman. She was different. In this world she was someone else altogether. And she was his.

He finally pushed her away gently. "You're the one rushin' me all mornin'. Get your ass movin'." She backed up a few steps, a dazed look on her face as he turned his back on her and walked around the side the side of the truck. When he looked back she was already pulling away. He followed her until they split up once they hit the city limits. He was grinning when he stopped outside of the pawn shop.

~H~

Merle splashed his face with cold water several times before he finally looked at himself in the mirror. His hands were shaking and his eyes were wild. He looked like he had just blown through five grams by himself.

"Pull yourself together mother fucker," he rasped as he tried to catch his breath.

He stumbled out of the bathroom and made his way to the kitchen but there wasn't any drugs left. He had decimated his stash of everything. There wasn't even a beer left. He was broke too so there was no way in hell he would be able to get anymore. Not for a while anyway.

He couldn't stand to sleep. He hated sleep. He used to not be all too picky about what kind of drugs he put into his system but not anymore. Before he would take just about anything. Uppers, downers, laughers, screamers. Now all he wanted was something to keep sleep at bay. Anything he could get his goddamn hands on that would wire his ass or trip him out for hours was what was on the menu for ol' Merle. But there was nothing left. He was losing weight already. All of the speed he was consuming was getting to him. He itched all the time and he shook all the time but he was awake, by god and that was alright with him.

He tried to hide the majority of it from his brother. He tried to still his hands and most of the time it worked. Now he didn't have to worry about it because his brother was long gone. He felt like one of them dumb ass kids from those Nightmare on Elm Street movies. He had finally fallen asleep. And of course he had dreamed.

"You turned yourself into a two bit pussy henchman for that sack of shit!" He roared at the empty house. He lifted the coffee table and slammed it into the wall, once, twice, three times before it broke into pieces, growling and foaming at the mouth like an ape with rabies.

Tonight he had killed. Not here in the real world but in that horrid fucking place in his head where he had been reduced to a one handed fucking crony to that son of a bitch Governor. He kicked the couch until it was turned over and then he stormed into the kitchen, picking up that table as well and beating it into the side of the refrigerator.

He had to do something. He had to do something to stop the mother fucker. He wouldn't ever be that man's bitch. And a bitch is all he was. His brother, Merle's own flesh and blood, had bonded with that group from the quarry while Merle was playing soldiers with that psycho fuck in Woodbury, telling himself the whole goddamn time that he was in charge of his own ass when in all reality his ass was owned by that James Jones wannabe mother fucker.

"Fuck you!" he screamed before he collapsed, panting, into the only chair that had survived his rage.

Daryl was off with them fuckers, hunting their food, having their backs and living the family life while Merle was the one off playing house. Merle wasn't a stupid man. People could think so all they wanted but it just wasn't true. No, he didn't resent his brother for the things his brother did. He would be the first to admit that if anyone could change for the better at the end of the world it would be his baby brother.

He wouldn't ever voice it out loud but he knew Daryl was a good man. A real stand up guy on the inside. Hell, the boy had more honor than any man Merle had ever known. But he hid it around Merle. He knew what his big brother would have to say about any pussy shit like that. And so for most of Daryl's life, that was how Merle kept him under his thumb. He was all the boy had and as soon as Merle was out of the picture he makes nice with the good sheriff. He gets cozy with the whole lot of them and then he goes and falls ass over teakettle in love with a married woman.

He knew they weren't crazy now. He knew that it wasn't Carol putting the shit in their heads with some sort of voodoo bullshit. But he wasn't about to bow down to the bitch. He didn't care how much sense it made to listen to her. He was his own man. She wasn't anything to him and now it seemed like, because of her, he wasn't shit to his brother any more. And this pissed Merle Dixon off more than anything else. He planned on taking care of that. Maybe Ed would win her back, but he doubted it. Either way, he wasn't losing his brother this time, he wasn't losing his hand this time and he sure as fuck wasn't going to become Philip Blake's toy soldier.

Maybe he was being petty. Maybe he shouldn't hate the woman as much as he did. She seemed like she really had Daryl's best interests in mind. She loved his brother so much that she was even willing to bring Merle himself into the fold. But none of that would make up for the fact that she had taken the only family he had away from him. She came first now. Merle was just somebody that Daryl had to deal with. He had lost so much in that other place. His brother, his hand, his sense of self. He couldn't let that happen. Maybe he could learn to deal with Carol. Accept the fact that she came first now. But he had other things to worry about at the moment. Things like keeping Philip Blake from turning him into a stone cold murderer.

He had an idea then and stood up quickly. He didn't know how much time he had before the world was going to end but he needed to get the Governor out of the way before that. He wasn't taking any chances on letting that son of a bitch live.

He rummaged around in a few drawers until he found what he was looking for. A phone book. Sure, he knew there was easier ways to look people up but he didn't know anything about that computer shit and he wasn't going to be caught dead in some library trying to navigate one either. He righted the kitchen table and scooted his chair up, flipping through the pages until he found the B's. He knew Philip had mentioned where he had been from and Merle knew that it hadn't been too far away. He just couldn't remember the exact name of the town. Good thing he had a phone book that covered surrounding counties as well.

With a shaking finger he started looking for every Philip Blake that was listed. He would check them out ten at a time until he found him and when he did, he was going to kill the man.


	26. Sweet Treat to the Face

**Sorry for the wait guys! I had to take down wallpaper and do way more than I thought! No fun! Sooo, what about that last episode, huh? I'm not worried and I still have mad love for her. I can say that if it came down to someone else or my own family I would be capable of the same thing. In my book, she did the right thing!**

**Okay, just a warning, this is a filler but I tried to make it a little funny so it isn't so bad. Thanks for reading and I hope you all had a much better weekend than I did! =)**

**Sweet Treat in the Face**

"It isn't going fast enough," Carol said worriedly.

Daryl glanced at her and wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. Rick also stopped in the middle of placing another cinder block.

"It's a start at least," Lori said as she gulped down half of a bottle of water that Carl had given her. "That crew we hired will start on Monday and it shouldn't take long after that."

Daryl kept his eyes on Carol as she hefted up another block and placed it on top of Rick's. It had been four days since they had officially purchased the property and they were all frantic to get it ready. The thing that had been everyone's main concern was the wall. If nothing else, they had to have the wall finished. Daryl could understand her worry but she was working herself, and the rest of them, to death. He was actually starting to worry about her. And he knew that he wasn't the only one. Carl and Sophia were mixing another batch of mud in the wheelbarrow and Glenn hadn't even paused. They needed a break. All of them needed a break.

"Sophia," he called, causing the girl to whip her head around.

He motioned for her and she didn't hesitate to scurry over, more eager than ever to do what she could to help. "Yeah?" she asked, a little breathlessly.

He frowned and took in her sweat stained clothes and the slight sunburn along her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. "Go wash the stink off and change your damn clothes. We're getting' the hell outta here for a little while."

Her eyes lit up and gazed longingly down the dirt driveway in the direction of the house. He followed her gaze. She had worked hard and the temperature was pushing a hundred. He fished his keys out of his pocket and tossed them to her. They bounced off her arm and hit the ground where she stared down at them and then looked up, her eyes full of questions.

"Take the damn truck, it's hot as fuck out here," he rolled his eyes as she looked back down at the keys.

"Daryl, what the hell are you doing?" Carol asked as she ripped off her work gloves and put her hands on her hips. "She can't drive a truck and we can't leave either. We need to get as much done as we can."

"We've been workin' ourselves bloody for three goddamn days. Takin' a couple hours to cool off isn't gonna hurt nothin'. Your goin' into panic mode again, woman. Don't forget what happened last time you did that shit." He eyed her for a few heavy seconds as everyone looked from his face to hers. It looked like they were waiting for a showdown.

"She's twelve years old. She doesn't know how to drive a truck," she said, looking like she wasn't going to put up as much of a fight as he thought she would.

He couldn't help but give her a rueful smile. "Yeah she does."

Sophia looked at her mother with wide guilty eyes.

He held his breath and waited for the fit the woman was surely about to throw. Instead she crossed her arms over her chest and a huge grin split her face, erasing some of the worry from her eyes. "You taught my daughter how to drive a truck? Behind my back?" Her eyebrows shot up.

He shrugged. "You said it yourself. She's twelve years old. That's plenty old enough to learn to drive. Wasn't like you was gonna teach her. You baby her when you ain't usin' her for cheap labor." Oh he was pushing it big time.

Her mouth dropped open. "I do not baby her and I definitely do not use her for cheap labor!"

Rick and Glenn were both trying to hide quiet laughter now.

Daryl snorted. "If you think she's old enough to work like this then I think she's old enough to drive a truck. You don't want her drivin' then fine, I don't want her workin'." He crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

Carol frowned. "She can't even reach the pedals."

Sophia smiled then. "He rigged it. I can reach the pedals just fine, mom. He said I drive better than you do."

Damn it. That kid had a big mouth. Now even Lori, who was usually quiet and sullen now days, couldn't hide her smile.

Carol's eyes narrowed but after a few loaded moments she nodded. "Fine. Let's take a break then."

Sophia didn't wait another second. She took off towards the truck and Daryl followed her. The others followed them in their own vehicles. Sophia started the truck and then glanced over at him, giving him a shy smile. "Thanks," she said quietly.

He nodded and then looked out the window while they made their way to the house.

Carol had worked fast getting the inside ready. It was already furnished and someone had already came out and worked all day repairing the fireplaces. There was furniture and the pantry and root cellar were already stocked with canned food. More food was coming from a food service provider that delivered to facilities like nursing homes and developmental centers. It was pretty fucking genius.

Shutters had been placed on all of the downstairs windows, thick and heavy but still easy to close. They were making progress. He wished Carol would calm down. There was even someone coming to install solar panels. She should have been overjoyed, but she was stressed. Daryl figured that it was because of Sophia. No one else in their group had to live through watching their only kid become a monster and then get their brains blown out. He winced at the memory and then glanced at the happy kid next to him.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Sophia asked as they pulled up in front of the house.

He groaned and blew out a breath. "I guess. As long as it ain't about boys or... puberty or some shit."

She shook her head, blushing furiously. She looked like her mom when she did that. "Nothing like that." He waited until she turned off the truck and finally looked at him. "Do you think it's right?"

He frowned and moved so he was facing her. "Do I think what's right?"

She looked out the windshield at the house. "We can save our group and I think that's really great, I do. But what about the people out there that aren't going to get saved? Kids just like me are going to go through the same thing I went through and here we are, getting ourselves ready for it while the rest of the world is blind. It doesn't feel very right to me."

He looked away, following her eyes towards the house. He hadn't really put much thought into that. Of course for most of his life it had just been him and his brother. They didn't matter to anybody and nobody mattered to them. But he could almost understand where she was coming from. He just had no idea what to say to her. "You talk to your mama bout this?" he asked, hoping her answer was no.

She shook her head and her eyes met his. "How can we let people die like that?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know kid. We can't save everybody. There's a reason we remember the shit. Sometimes you gotta worry about yourself first. That's about all the answer I got for you.

She seemed to roll his words around in her head before saying anything else. "I won't say anything to my mom. I know you don't want me too and it won't do anything but make her feel bad anyway."

He narrowed his eyes. "I think you're right."

Without another word they climbed out of the truck and joined the others as they filed into the house.

~H~

Merle watched the man get into his car and then pull out of the parking lot. He glared at the back of the man's head. The more Merle dreamed the more he fucking hated the guy. He really hated the guy. And he was an evil bastard too. Oh sure, Merle wasn't no saint by any means. But this guy was a sadistic psycho. Or he turns into one anyway.

He knew that he had a little girl somewhere. In his dreams he was quickly becoming one of the man's most trusted men. The kid had been bitten and he had her locked in a cage in a room in his apartment in Woodbury. Some would say that the man didn't become evil until then. Merle didn't believe that at all. No, not after the shit he had ordered Merle to do.

Merle was a strong believer in being born bad. He was pretty sure he was one of those people himself and if he wasn't then it didn't take his daddy long to turn him into one. But bad was different than evil and this man was an evil son of a bitch. That man's evil didn't have a damn thing to do with what happened to his little girl. That seed of evil had taken root in that man a long time ago. This was going to be a mercy killing for sure because if this man lived, a whole lot of people were going to die.

The only thing he wasn't sure of was what to do about that damn kid. The end was near, he knew it. He could feel it now. Even if he hadn't started dreaming he would have been able to tell that something was coming. He thought about contacting his brother but dismissed it. This wasn't something Daryl would understand. His brother was too fucking soft, that's why.

He drove on past as the man pulled into his driveway. He didn't turn to see him get out of the car. If he did then he would end up blowing his brains out all over his azaleas and that wouldn't be good. So he drove on, heading back to that fucking house where his nightmares lived.

He wanted to go see his brother but he was afraid that by now his brother would be able to tell that he was on board with this bullshit. Still, it might have been worth it just to be able to talk to him. He knew what his problem was. Daryl was right. He had always been the one to skip out on the boy and now Daryl was the one that had left his ass in the dust. Just as well, he supposed. He deserved a little abandonment. He had dished enough of it out.

Without giving it another thought he decided to make a pit stop in Cobb County. He knew that was where they were living now because Carol had given Ed that little house back. Merle was giving up on any hope of Ed being able to help him out when it came to Carol. She was his brother's now and he had to get used to that. There wasn't a damn thing going to change it.

He still didn't have to like it, though and he still didn't like her either. But he'd do what he had to to be able to see his brother soon. Maybe not today but soon. He stopped at a stop sign and reached into his back pocket, knowing the paper was there. He pretty much had the address memorized but he glanced over it one more time.

~H~

Carol watched Sophia carefully as she dug into her sundae. Daryl must have felt really bad for her to demand to take her out. Of course, Daryl's idea of taking a kid out for ice cream involved going through the drive through and then parking at some nearly deserted park, like getting caught drinking a milkshake was so below him. She giggled to herself as she licked at her melting cone.

They were sitting in the shade of a large tree. Her and Daryl opted for the grass and Sophia was perched at the end of the picnic table.

"What the hell's so funny?" he asked as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"You're embarrassed to eat ice cream in front of people," she giggled again and caught more drips with her tongue.

He scowled. "No I ain't."

"Then why didn't we just go in, where it's air conditioned, and eat there? You wanted to cool off. That would have been cooling off."

He shook his head. "Too damn many people in a place like that."

Sophia was watching them curiously.

"Mmm," she nodded. "You're either too embarrassed to eat ice cream inside a crowded place or you're just embarrassed that someone you know might see how domesticated you've become since I came into your life. Which is it?"

Daryl watched her for a few more seconds and then glanced at Sophia. "You know it ain't right for a man to put their hands on a woman, right?" he asked the girl, causing Carol to frown.

Sophia nodded solemnly as she watched him but Carol could see the gleam in her daughter's eye.

He sucked on his straw, his narrowed eyes sliding back over to Carol. He pulled the straw away and sighed heavily. "But sometimes a man finds himself in a situation like this. And he ain't got no choice but to put a woman in her place."

Sophia continued to stare at him and shoved the spoon into her mouth. She nodded again. Carol was becoming furious. How could he say something like that too Sophia after everything the girl had...

"Oh. My. God!" Carol shrieked. Her thoughts were cut off when Daryl's hand snaked out and slapped the side of the cone, squashing it right in her face. It fell in her lap with a plop. She picked it up and threw it at him but he was already on his feet and she missed him.

Sophia was doubled over, her cup sitting next to her and her skinny arms wrapped around her middle as she laughed hysterically. They didn't think to ask for napkins so Carol was forced to use her own shirt to get the ice cream off her face. Thank God it was only vanilla.

"Sorry you had to see that, kid. Sometimes evil is necessary. Especially where your smart ass mama is concerned," he flashed Carol a brilliant smile and then nudged Sophia with his elbow as he leaned against the picnic table.

"You're dead," Carol grumbled. "You won't know when and you won't know how but payback is gonna be painful."

"Stop poking the bear, mama," Sophia managed between bouts of laughter. She obviously found it funnier than Carol did. She still couldn't help but fight back a smile as she scowled at the man and then stood up, wiping her sticky hands on her jeans. He did it for her daughter's benefit and that, at least, counted for something.

"Yeah, woman. Ain't you learned a damn thing by now?" he asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Shut up," she grumbled as she stormed past them both. "We were suppose to be going over to Rick and Lori's after this. Now I'm filthy and we have to go right back home so I can get cleaned up," she called over her shoulder. She didn't want to turn around because she didn't want them to see the smile on her face.

Sophia had done so well and worked so hard that she needed this. This was normal and Sophia needed normal. A male figure in her life that showed her kindness and, unfortunately for Carol in moments like this, showed the girl that not every man was out to cause someone pain. Sure, she was a a mess as the end result, but hearing her daughter laugh like that was like food for her soul. Of course, that didn't mean she wasn't going to dish out any sort of punishment to Daryl for that stunt. Even if the end result of that would most likely leave him satisfied.

She yanked the truck door open and waited for Sophia to climb in. Daryl gave her a knowing look before she climbed in herself. She was going to ignore her fears for the rest of the day and just enjoy her family. Daryl was right. She was on the verge of breaking down again and there was nothing to come of that but stressing everyone else out.


	27. Foresight is 2020

**Hi you guys! Do I even have to comment on the last episode? They have totally mangled the characters in my opinion. It's pretty much doused my hopes of this being a better season than last. I'm beyond caring what happens now because I don't plan on watching it. It's better for my health since all it's going to do is depress the hell out of me. It's better to step away with decent memories of the character development so far and avoid watching them turn every character into a different person. **

**Anyway, I'm going to try to get this story and Dust finished as soon as I can! I'm working on it but I've been suffering a bit of writers block! Thanks to everyone that read the new one shot! And thanks for reading this =) Hope everyone is having a great week!**

**Foresight is 20/20**

Chapter Twenty Seven

Carol was so happy that she had let him talk her into taking it easy for the day. She wasn't sure at first if it was the smart thing to do but after seeing how much Sophia had smiled today she knew it had been worth it. She had never seen her daughter so carefree and happy. Not since she had been a chubby cheeked toddler just learning the world. She had Daryl to thank for that.

She was still tired, since their day had started at the break of dawn and they had still put in a lot of work before Daryl had demanded a break. She slipped into her daughter's room to check on her one more time before going to bed. It was something that she did every night. She couldn't help herself.

They had taken the room a few doors down for now but Daryl said once everyone else moved in the two of them were moving to the attic. He would build them a room up there and Sophia a room at the other end and the rest of the space would be used for them to live. She argued that it wasn't very fair to the others that the three of them would be living in their own apartment of sorts while they were all forced to share the other floors. He informed her that the others could kiss his ass and she figured this wasn't a battle he would let her win. He did mention that if anyone else got the attic it would have to be Rick and Lori and if they did he would forever refer to Lori as the bitch in the belfry. It seemed the attic would belong to her and Daryl because she knew that he wouldn't hesitate to call her that out loud.

Sophia was sound asleep, like she had suspected, so she slipped back out as quietly as she could. When she made her way to their room she wasn't surprised to find Daryl sitting there on the edge of the bed, dressed in jeans, examining the crossbow she had picked up the day that they had gotten into that ridiculous fight. She knew he heard her come in but he didn't look up.

"She asleep?" he asked as he stood up and hung the bow from the mount he'd demanded she buy so it never got warped.

She nodded and stripped off her t-shirt. She was wearing a tank top under it but she may as well have been naked the way he watched her.

"You tired?" he asked as she stripped out of her jeans. She left everything on the floor and then crawled to the middle of the big bed.

"Not as tired as I usually am but still a little tired I guess. Are you tired?" she asked as she slipped under the blanket and rolled over to face him. He was still sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her.

He glanced back over his shoulder and offered up that trademark lopsided smile. He shook his head. "Didn't have no crazy woman workin' me like some fuckin' mule all day. I ain't too tired."

Every night they crawled into bed and almost always fell instantly to sleep. She stretched and watched him as he collapsed onto his back next to her. He was staring up at the ceiling. "Don't forget, you should be nice to me after what you did today."

He chuckled quietly. "That was great."

"I'm glad I amuse you," she said dryly.

He nodded. "You do."

He reached over and turned off the lamp and did what he did every night. He pulled her closer, sliding her easily across the sheets until she was pressed right up against him. She hated the fact that tomorrow was going to be another busy day. She had enjoyed the day they had had and she wished they could have more like that. There just always seemed to be something more pressing to do. Like try to prepare to keep them all alive after the world ended. No pressure or anything.

He was lying on his side facing her but she was still on her back. She almost yelled when she found him on top of her, straddling her hips and jerking her arms until they were over her head. She wasn't even registering what was going on fast enough to put up any kind of fight. Not that she would have to fight him... or so she thought.

With mounting alarm she suddenly realized exactly why her hands were forced above her head, but she didn't react in time. Daryl was fast. Very fast when he needed to be. His reflexes were as good now as they had been at the prison. That hadn't been something that he learned there. That had been something that he had been born with and he used that skill now before she could do anything about it.

Her hands were secured to the metal slats in the headboard.

"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed as she tugged at whatever bound her hands. It didn't hurt her. It felt like some sort of cloth.

"I'm not takin' any chances. You threatened to make somethin' painful and so you can't expect me to be able to sleep next to somebody that says something like that. I'm lookin' out for my own well bein' here."

"Daryl, I swear to God, if you don't..."

When he eased his body down a little and she felt the tips of his fingers caress the exposed skin between her tank top and the top of her underwear she stopped talking.

Wow.

"If I don't what?" he asked, his voice suddenly husky.

If it had been anyone else in the world putting her in this position she would have been beyond terrified. She had spent a large portion of her life being beaten and terrorized by a man so finding herself in a position where defense wasn't even an option should have reduced her to tears.

But there were no tears and there was no fear. Only a rush of anticipation that had her heart thundering hard in her chest and an intense heat pooling between her legs. This was not something she would have ever seen coming. There was no fear because she knew that whatever this man had in store for her wasn't going to hurt.

He moved off of her and ripped the blanket away. Her eyes hadn't even had time to adjust to the darkness so she squeaked in surprise when she felt his breath on her ear. "I can cut ya loose if that's what you want. Best make up your mind right now though cause I ain't plannin' on stoppin' no time soon after I start."

She was a grown woman and the mother of an almost teenaged daughter but in all honesty she was far from experienced when it came to stuff like this. She had had boyfriends before Ed, of course, but really she was just getting the grasp of what actual sex was like. It was stupid, she knew, but still the truth. But this? This coming from a man who had even less experience than she did was just crazy. But she went with it.

"Well?" he asked, still close to her ear.

She shook her head. There wasn't anything to be scared of here. It was just him and he wouldn't do anything she didn't want him to do. He wasn't going to hurt her.

"You sure about that?" he asked as he gave her wrists a gentle jerk.

"I never took you for the type to get kinky, Dixon. But I think I can handle it." She put more bravado in her voice than she actually felt.

"You're the one that made threats. I'm just protectin' myself," he whispered right before his lips met hers. He kissed her deeper and she went to wrap her arms around his neck, momentarily forgetting the bind she was in, literally. She made a frustrated sound and he pulled back.

She felt his lips on her jaw and then on her neck and then the base of her throat. She jerked her hands but there was no way she was getting out of those knots. This powerless feeling had her squirming and her heart pounding. She wanted to touch him but she couldn't and it nearly drove her mad.

"Ya know, I was actually just tryin' to scare ya," he muttered as his teeth met her shoulder, "But I could have fun with this."

Her breathing kicked up a few notches at that and she squirmed harder. When his lips left her body she clamped her mouth shut to keep from protesting. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. She'd never seen an arrogant side to him but she had a feeling she was seeing it now. When it came to how he made her feel he was completely full of himself and he was actually flaunting it. She wasn't planning on letting him win this one though.

It was when he moved his body away that she couldn't hold her tongue any longer. "What are you doing?" From what she could tell he was pretty far away. The room was so dark she couldn't see anything. Not even where he had gone.

He didn't say a word and for a few seconds she was afraid that he had somehow slipped out of the room. She didn't hear anything. Not even the whisper of his breath. She jumped and cried out in surprise when a rough hand snaked out of the darkness and grabbed her thigh. That wasn't so bad. She could deal with a hand on her leg just fine. It was when she felt him move and then felt his lips on her thigh that she started squirming again.

She couldn't help but have a flash back to that night by the pond. It had been the last time they had had the energy to do anything and what he had done had been incredible. And this seemed to be headed to the same place. He used his teeth but not enough to really hurt her and then he would use his tongue to massage the sting away.

She was panting. He was right there. Very very close... And then he froze. There was a timid knock at the door.

"Mom? Your phone," Sophia said from the other side of the door.

"Mother fucker!" Daryl hissed and then moved away from her. It only took a few seconds before she felt his hands on her wrists and then she was suddenly free.

"Mom?"

"Just a second," she said in a rush as she reached for the lamp. As soon as the light was on she was smacked in the face with her jeans. She rushed to get them on. He opened the door just as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry. I saw the number so I answered it," she handed Daryl the phone, her face looking apologetic and embarrassed at the same time. Daryl took the phone from her and grimaced at the screen.

"Rick, you asshole!" he barked.

Sophia scurried away after giving Carol a small wave and a smile. She remembered having her hold on to her phone while she went in and changed after Daryl's little comedy show earlier but she thought she had gotten it back.

"What?" Daryl said, a crease forming between his eyebrows. "What channel?" he asked as he walked out of the room, his earlier annoyance all but forgotten.

She followed him down the stairs and into the living room where he turned on the television and sat down on the edge of the couch. Her eyes followed his as a pretty anchor woman with a look of concern masking her otherwise cheery features was talking into a microphone.

"... and we're hearing reports that it could have possibly been gang related but so far police have no leads. Philip Blake was a single father who lived in this respectable suburb with his nine year old daughter, who is still missing..."

Carol didn't hear anything else the woman said. She had heard enough. She sank down onto the couch next to Daryl who was still holding her phone to his ear.

"I'll see ya in a bit then," he muttered before he hit the end button and sat the phone down on the coffee table.

"This doesn't make any sense," she said, only sounding a little bit hysterical. What did this mean? Philip wasn't suppose to die. She really didn't care that he had but this isn't what was suppose to happen. He lived and he formed the town of Woodbury and he tried his best to slaughter them at the prison. Philip Blake wasn't suppose to die until Merle killed him...

Merle.

She grabbed Daryl's arm and gave it a shake. "Merle. He's the only one besides us, Glenn and Carl that know anything about Philip Blake. We're the only ones that have dreamed that far. Rick and Lori only know about him because we've told them. It had to be one of us to kill him or he would have made it well after the outbreak."

Daryl met her eyes, a scowl in place. "Merle ain't no killer, Carol. The shit he did he did because..."

"Because Philip Blake made him? Do you not think he's dreamed about that already. He's eliminating the problem, Daryl. Jesus, he's killed the man."

"But where the hell is the little girl? Merle wouldn't kidnap a kid. He hates kids." Daryl sounded like he was trying hard to convince himself.

"Then who the hell else?"

He shook his head and then his eyes flicked to the doorway. Sophia was standing there, Glenn behind her with his hands on her shoulders. They had both heard everything. Glenn looked green and Sophia looked... well, she looked pretty normal.

"Sophia? Are you okay?" she asked.

Sophia nodded. "So, he took the girl? Penny?"

Daryl shook his head. "It wasn't him and once Rick and Lori get over here you best be agreein' with me on this. He wouldn't have taken the girl."

Sophia shook her head. "Him taking the girl doesn't make him a bad man, Daryl. If he took her then he saved her life. Carl told me about her. She was a walker that Michonne put down. If she's here with us then she'll be fine. Carl and I can take care of her. She'll be okay."

"Jesus, kid. Shit don't work that way. Somebody else did this. Somebody else had to have done this. Merle ain't stupid enough to kill that son of a bitch and then kidnap his daughter."

A humorless smile graced Sophia's lips. "Merle isn't stupid at all, Daryl. Merle isn't just smart enough to kill a man and then kidnap his daughter. Merle is smart enough to kill a man, kidnap his daughter and then actually get away with it."

Carol stared at the girl and even Glenn dropped his hands from her shoulders. Daryl cursed loudly and Carol flinched as he kicked the table.

"Not a word to Rick, y'all hear me? Not one fuckin' word. The last thing I need to do is have to rescue my brother from jail after this shit starts."

Everyone nodded and he seemed to relax. He snatched the phone up off the floor where it had fallen when he kicked the table and quickly dialed a number. Carol already knew who he was calling. Merle. But she had been trying to get a hold of him for days with no luck. She doubted that Daryl would be able to get a hold of him now.

He cursed after a while. She knew that was going to happen but she kept her mouth shut. She remembered Sophia saying something about not poking the bear. This was one of those cases where the bear didn't need to be poked. She was more concerned about Sophia at the moment. She seemed to be unaffected by the prospect of Merle killing a man. And that was exactly what Merle had done. He had killed a man. Philip wasn't the Governor yet. He hadn't spilled any blood. Not yet anyway and that had to mean something. It wasn't that she wasn't relieved. Deep down she really was. But she expected something like this to bother her daughter. She was just a little girl, regardless of everything that had been happening.

"Sophia, if Merle did this then you understand that he killed an innocent man, right? Philip hadn't done anything."

Sophia scowled. "He tried to kill every one of you!" she seemed outraged.

Carol glanced over but Daryl was only studying the girl. She looked back up at Sophia. "But he hadn't done it yet."

"That doesn't matter. He became that evil that fast then there had to have been a whole lot of evil inside of him. We don't know what kind of man he was. I don't really care. He won't be a threat anymore. As far as I'm concerned, Merle just did us all a favor."

Carol felt her jaw drop. Where was this coming from? She decided to let it go for now. She wasn't going to be able to change the girl's mind because she agreed with her. But for Carol it was different. Sophia was still a child and it scared her to think that she could actually be glad that someone was dead. Even if the man was the devil himself.

"Go on back to bed, honey. I'll be up there in a little bit." She said instead of voicing any of her concerns.

"Can I stay up and wait for Carl?" she asked, her voice hopeful.

Carol studied her for a few heavy moments and then finally nodded. "Yeah, but I want the two of you to go straight upstairs once they get here. I don't want you hearing anymore about this business until we know more about it, okay?"

She nodded eagerly.

Carol got up and headed towards the kitchen while Glenn and Sophia settled into the two reclining chairs in the living room to wait on Rick and Lori to get there. She didn't hear Daryl following her until he was right behind her when she was reaching up for the coffee.

"You alright?" he asked as his arms went around her waist from behind.

She glanced back over her shoulder and offered him a small smile. She nodded and then leaned into him, the coffee momentarily forgotten. "I'm just worried, I guess. Did you see the look on her face?"

He rested his chin on her shoulder. "You ain't the only one that changed. Neither am I. She ain't the same kid she was. How the hell can she be?"

She nodded. "You're right. If I'm gonna accept you the way you are I owe it to my own daughter to do the same."

He snorted. "Accept my ass. You like it."

"You smashed an ice cream cone in my face and tied me to the bed, Daryl," she said in a hushed voice.

"Okay, that's gotta be the freakiest thing I've ever heard."

They both spun around and saw Glenn standing a few feet away. His face was flushed and he looked like he was hovering between embarrassed and scared.

Daryl grimaced. "Not at the same time, dumb ass."

Glenn nodded. "Well, that's less freaky... I guess."

Daryl crossed his arms over his chest and stepped away from her, keeping his eyes on Glenn, who steadfastly ignored him as he sat down heavily in one of the kitchen chairs.

"I gotta say," Glenn said with a sigh, "After what that son of a bitch did to Maggie, I don't care that he's dead. Sophia is right. He was born a bad man if he could do something like that to a girl. He's evil if he can kill men that never did him any wrong just for the hell of it. Merle saved lives tonight if he's the one that did this."

Carol agreed but she kept her mouth shut and finished putting the coffee on to brew. She wanted to find Merle and talk to him. She had been wanting to do that for days now but with no luck. She guessed he wouldn't have time to do something like that if he was, say, planning a murder.

She couldn't help but wish he had talked to them first. They could have helped him understand the dreams better. She guessed hindsight was twenty twenty... or in their case, foresight. Jesus, she felt like the world was turning upside down.


	28. A Penny For Your Thoughts

**I hope you guys like this one. I'm not so sure about it, myself but I guess now it is up for you guys to judge ;) Be kind to me. It's been a bad week! I missed the last episode. On purpose. I've got a bit of writers block at the moment so bear with me here! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! You are the reason I haven't tucked tail, jumped this beloved ship and ran as far away from writing fanfiction as I could get. I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**A Penny For Your Thoughts**

Rick and Lori were a mess when they got there. There were a million questions in their eyes but they didn't voice any of them right away. They shooed Carl up to Sophia's room and then both started talking at once in low voices.

"Jesus, shut the fuck up for five seconds," Daryl growled as he rubbed his temples.

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before he sat down. They were still in the kitchen and Carol was pouring them all cups of coffee. "Look, Daryl. It had to have been one of us. It's the only thing that makes any sense. If it was you just tell us and we'll figure out how to handle it."

Daryl narrowed his eyes. "So the two of you fine upstandin' citizen's automatically wanna point your fingers at me, huh?"

Rick shook his head. "I know I wasn't the one that did it and since I took leave from work I know for a fact Lori didn't do it either. We weren't with you guys tonight. We just want answers. That's all. We need the truth."

Daryl tried to bite his tongue. He even felt Carol's hand on his arm to try to calm him down but this was a bunch of bullshit. Rick had been like a brother to him back at the prison but this wasn't the prison and before Daryl saved his ass over and over and proved himself time and again to the man, Rick hadn't trusted or liked him much. Daryl figured he looked down on him now just like he looked down on him then and the opportunity to put Rick in his place was right there at Daryl's fingertips.

He leaned into the table. "You don't want any goddamn answers. What ya want is somebody to point your finger at. But I got some truth for ya officer Grimes," he spat, "Considerin' everything I saw while we was all stuck together like we were I saw the truth. You're one shitty ass judge of character and as soon as the opportunity arises, your wife turns into a two timin' bitch. You don't want the truth Rick. You never have. You just want a scapegoat."

Rick was out of his chair in an instant and Daryl was just as quick. They glared at each other from across the table.

"Daryl!" Carol hissed and he felt her hand tugging his arm back. He hadn't even realized he was leaning into the table until he finally let her move him back a few steps. His eyes flicked down to Lori and he actually felt bad when he saw that all she was doing was looking down at her hands folded on the tabletop, one lone tear slipping down her cheek.

He took a deep breath and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Look, I didn't kill the son of a bitch, alright? I never even thought of the asshole since all this started. This wasn't me."

Rick seemed to relax a little and he scooted the chair back up so he could sit back down. Daryl did the same. They had a long way to go before they become the two men that were closer than brothers. A long long way.

Lori wiped the tear away and looked up, meeting his eyes and making him feel like an even bigger asshole. He felt Carol glaring daggers at his face but he didn't glance at her.

"I never thought you did anything like that, Daryl. For what it's worth," she said in a hushed voice. "We all need to work together. Now more than we ever have before. Fighting and throwing accusations isn't going to get us anywhere. We all made mistakes then," her eyes went to Carol and Daryl lost his drive to fight then. She was right. Look at all the times he had fucked up himself.

He didn't offer up any apologies but he nodded and visibly relaxed in his chair. Rick was the one rubbing his temples now.

"So it wasn't any of us. Who could have done it?" Rick asked of no one in particular.

No one had an answer and the kitchen grew abnormally quiet. He finally risked a glance at Carol but she was staring into her cup, lost in thought. He thought about what Sophia had said to him earlier in the truck. It wasn't something that he wanted to bring up but he had thought about it a while and decided that maybe it was something that needed to be thrown on the table.

"There's somethin' Sophia brought up today that got me to thinkin'," he started hesitantly. Three sets of eyes settled on him, causing him to squirm a little in his seat. No one said anything so he went on. "She said it ain't right that we're savin' ourselves and nobody else."

Rick actually looked like he had thought of the same thing before but never brought it up. "We can't save the world. We've been given a chance. I don't understand why, but we don't have enough time to warn the world about this. We'll look insane."

Daryl nodded. "Maybe so. But so far we've been focused on the group from the quarry. But it wasn't just the quarry group there at the end. Good people went up to bat for us. Oscar died helpin' us save Glenn and Maggie. Michonne wasn't just an asset. She was a good woman that put her ass on the line for our group. Tyreese and his sister. Hell even Axle."

Rick shook his head. "I don't know any of these people yet."

Daryl met his eyes. "Does that matter?"

Glenn cleared his throat. It was the first sound he had made at all since they had all gathered there. "He's right," he said quietly as he stared down at his hands. When he looked up there was an edge to his appearance that Daryl hadn't even noticed was missing until now. "We have to try to do something. These were good people. These were _our_ people. Not just them either. Hershel's wife and Maggie's brother. Patricia and Otis. Jimmy. If we could get to them in time then we can save them all."

Daryl sighed, "What the hell do we do? You think we should go try to orchestrate a prison break? Cause that's where we'll find Oscar and Axel."

Glenn almost smiled. "Axel might have given you a little competition, Daryl. Don't underestimate the man."

Daryl frowned and followed Glenn's gaze to Carol's blushing face. He growled. "What the hell is he talkin' about?"

Carol's head shot up and she gave Glenn a loaded look. "Nothing. He was a sweet man."

"He had a thing for Carol," Glenn corrected.

"What?" Daryl said in a low voice. He didn't know anything about the creepy little bastard having a thing for her and he never knew that she thought he was sweet either. "You had a thing for that convict?"

She grimaced. "No! He had a crush or something. It was sweet."

He snorted. "Sweet? Since when are you into sweet? And why the hell didn't I notice any of this shit?"

Carol met his eyes. "You weren't there." Her tone wasn't accusing at all but he felt guilty all the same.

He looked away, deciding it was better for him to just sweep this one under the rug. He was tired and there wasn't a damn thing they were going to get accomplished tonight. If they didn't get some damn sleep then they would be nearly useless tomorrow too. "Y'all wanna just stay in your room tonight or drive back home? Either way, I'm done. Ain't shit we can do tonight."

Rick and Lori shared a look, Rick was the first to break it. "No. We'll go on home. It's getting late though. Do you two mind if Carl spends the night?"

Carol shook her head. "Not at all."

"Suit yourselves. I'm goin' to bed." When he looked up Rick and Lori were looking at him. "I shouldn't have said what I said. And that's all the damn apology you're gettin' from me." He didn't miss the the eye role and the smile that Rick and Lori shared as he got up and left them all sitting there without another word. He was quick to jump Carol's ass for getting herself too worked up but he was starting to feel a little crushed by the pressure himself. Now he was just tired and tomorrow was going to be another long tiring day, with the added stress that he was going to get a phone call saying his brother had been arrested for murder and kidnapping.

That was the thing. He wouldn't put it past Merle to kill Philip Blake. He had done it before. But the kid didn't make any sense. Merle wasn't the type to take a kid. He had no use for them. Maybe he hadn't thought that far ahead and he killed Blake before he realized the girl was even there. Merle wasn't known to be the type to think too much ahead.

His head hit the pillow and he closed his eyes against the dim light of the single lamp that they had left lit. He didn't want to think about it anymore. All he wanted to do now was sleep.

~H~

What had he done? How could he have let this happen? Why hadn't he came up with a better plan? Merle paced the living room. The girl sat on the couch, eyes wide and fearful but dry. He wasn't making her any less nervous with his pacing but he couldn't stop. He was crashing from his high and he was in deep shit and he was goddamn scared.

"Are you sure you know my daddy?" the girl asked for the second time.

He stopped in his pacing and gave her a quick nod. Jesus Christ what had he done? He was coming down now. He wasn't just coming down, he was crashing hard. Very hard. He had scored some good stuff on front from a buddy of his and the shit was a lot better than he had thought it would be. He had everything planned out perfectly. Or he had thought so, anyway. The only thing he had been thinking about was taking out Philip Blake before the man could do any damage. The way Merle had looked at it, he was being the good guy here. He had saved a lot of lives by killing Philip. He had just forgotten one crucial thing during his vigilante mission.

"Do you think my dad is okay?" Penny asked, her eyes overflowing again.

Mother fucker! He didn't know the first thing to do when it came to kids. He didn't understand them and he didn't like them. With that said, he couldn't just leave the kid there because he knew that once the biters came, she was dead. It wouldn't matter who ended up with her after her dad was dead, she would be eaten alive and whether he liked kids or not, he couldn't let that happen to the little shit.

He had went into Philip's house shortly after he saw the lights go out. He didn't have much of a plan at the moment, other than killing the man and making sure he didn't take the fall for it. It had been quick and clean and he was just about to make a break for it when he had heard her voice behind him.

He had panicked and told her that there were men out to get her dad and she had to come with him. Maybe he would have left her there but she was looking right at him and she would have been able to identify him to the police when they questioned her. And he hadn't wanted her to be the one to find the body. So, in a panic of her own, she had left with him without putting up a fight. Philip was a real son of a bitch for not teaching his daughter any better than to leave with someone like Merle Dixon, but she had and he had been glad because he couldn't kill her so he would have taken her anyway whether she put up a fight or not.

Now here he was, playing nanny to some kid and the drugs were wearing off and he was realizing now how bad he had royally fucked up. He had fucked up big time in the past but nothing, nothing he had ever done in his life, rivaled this. This was a complete shit storm. He shouldn't have went to that house. He knew that now that he was sober enough to know exactly what it was he had done.

"Look, kid," he said as he ran a hand over his close cropped hair, "I got a spare bedroom you can sleep in tonight and then tomorrow we'll figure everything out, alright."

She nodded and stood up from the couch, following him wordlessly down the short hallway. She was crying again and it was grating on his nerves something awful. She wasn't sobbing loudly but every small sound that escaped her seemed to scrape along his brain, causing his head to hurt. He didn't think it would be a good idea to yell at her to shut the fuck up so he clenched his teeth and ignored it. She settled into Daryl's bed and pulled the quilt up to her chin. "Am I gonna get to see my daddy again, Mister?" She asked right before he walked out of the room.

Merle stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around. He glanced over his shoulder, his finger hovering over the light switch. He could tell her a lie so she would make it through the night but then what? She would have more questions in the morning and he didn't even want to think about that shit. So he figured that he would treat her the same as he had treated Daryl when he was nothing but a scared little kid.

Daryl was about this girls age when he had looked Merle in the eye and asked him if things would ever get better for him. Merle hadn't flinched when he told him the truth. No. Things didn't get better. Life was full of pain and deceit and the sooner the boy realized it the sooner he could prepare himself for it.

"Your daddy's dead," he deadpanned. Without another word he turned off the light and closed the door to the sound of the girl's cries.

~H~

Sophia heard her door open but she didn't move an inch. Daryl checked on her a lot. She had woken up several times when he had done so. If it was him she wanted him to think that she was asleep. Even though sleep wasn't something she would be doing any time soon. She wasn't sure if Daryl would check up on Carl, probably not, but if he did she hoped Carl was smart enough to fake sleep himself if he was awake.

They had heard everything that their parents had said and Sophia wasn't stupid. She knew who did this. It was Merle. Of course it would be Merle. And now that little girl was with him and probably scared to death. She didn't think that Merle would hurt her but that still didn't mean that he would be a good person to have around her. According to the news she was only nine years old. Sure, that was only three years younger than her and Carl but that girl hadn't gone through the things that her and Carl had gone through. Penny was still very much a child and right now she needed help.

She waited, breathing evenly with her eyes closed and then nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her arm. Daryl checked on her sure, but he never came into her room and he never touched her. He always poked his head in, made sure she was there, and left again.

Her eyes snapped open and she sat up straight. Carl was standing next to her bed with his finger to his lips. They had tried to talk about what they had heard but they had both been ran off to bed and hadn't been able to try to devise a plan. That was why she hadn't been able to go to sleep. She had actually came up with something and she was scared to death to carry it out. But for that little girl, she would have to try.

"Are you insane? If Daryl catches you in here I hate to think of what he would do to you," she whispered.

"We need to talk. What are we going to do about Penny?" He whispered back as he sat down on the edge of her bed. She scooted up so her back was pressed against the headboard.

She took a deep breath and then met his eyes in the dim light. "I think we need to get her from Merle," she said evenly. Carl might not like her plan but it was the only one she had.

She could see him roll his eyes at her. "And how do we do that? Call Merle and have him bring her on over? You said yourself that he still hasn't talked to his own brother. He won't listen to us."

She crossed her arms over her chest. He was wearing the clothes he had came over in, not expecting a sleepover. She was wearing pajamas but it wouldn't take her but a minute to get dressed. "Go to your room and fix the blankets so it looks like there's someone in the bed. Daryl or my mom may try to check on you. Meet me by the back door."

He stared at her for a few long seconds, frowning. "What the heck for?"

She scrambled out of bed and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Penny is just a kid Carl. She's younger than us and she's probably scared out of her mind right now. Remember how scared we were in the beginning? She's probably just as scared. We're going to get her."

Carl took a step back. "Have you lost your mind!" He hissed, causing her to flinch.

She shook her head. "We have to help her. Merle did a good thing tonight. We won't have to worry about the Governor coming for us but he isn't the best person in the world for a kid to be around. He's..."

"He's an asshole," Carl whispered, "But she's his problem, Sophia. Until he brings her here anyway. We can't do this. No matter what we've seen and what we've been through, we're still just a couple of kids."

"We're getting that girl," Sophia said, her voice determined.

"We can't even get there! It's an hour away from here and we don't know if he took her to his house."

She shook her head. "Something tells me that there isn't anywhere else he could have taken her. I doubt he's very popular and he doesn't trust anybody. She's there. We're going to get her."

"How?"

Sophia's eyes slid from Carl's to the bedroom door and she took a deep breath to try to settle her racing heart and push her fears to the back of her mind. "We're gonna borrow my mom's car for a little bit."

Carl groaned. "Jesus Christ. You really are insane."

~H~

"We have to go talk to your brother tomorrow," Carol said as her finger traced the scar running down his chest.

He sighed and caught her hand with is own. "I can do that myself. Ain't gotta be no we to it. He's gonna be a goddamn mess if he's done somethin' to that little girl." He didn't really believe that Merle was capable of hurting a kid but men did crazy things when they were high and there was no doubt in Daryl's mind that Merle had been half out of his mind when he had done what he did.

"I'm going," she said stubbornly.

He wasn't going to argue with her. Maybe now Merle would actually listen to them and they could sort everything out. He had hope anyway. "Well, you probably need to go anyway. That little girl is gonna need somebody there that knows how to handle kids. That ain't somethin' me or Merle know how to do."

Carol raised her head and stared at him. "You're kidding. They way you are with..."

"That's different," he said, cutting her off.

She gave him a small smile and then laid her head back down on his chest. He was half tempted to go make sure the kids were alright one more time before he fell asleep but he decided not to. He had checked on Sophia twice and he knew that Carl was too chicken to try anything sneaky. He closed his eyes and felt himself drifting off. The kids were fine and they were going to do what they could to fix this thing with Merle tomorrow.


End file.
